Chapter 16
The next morning, Natalie stood in front of the mirror in the small bathroom of the base and stared at her reflection. She hadn’t slept much. Not all of it was because there could be men waiting as soon as she and Owen left the ranch.
No, the major reason was Owen himself.
After that kiss, he and it occupied the majority of her thoughts. Alone. They were alone. It didn’t matter for how long. The simple fact was that it would be just the two of them.
No one else to talk to or help her push aside the growing desire that threatened to break her apart.
She swallowed, the coffee she’d managed to drink rolling in her stomach. Fourteen years was a long time. Why then did it feel as if she were still eighteen, and it was the day after graduation?
He had gone on with his life. And so had she.
She rested her hands on either side of the sink and dropped her head. The truth was, she hadn’t gotten on with her life—at least her love life. She’d been stuck, perpetually waiting for a man who could never be hers.
What had it gotten her? Nothing but heartache. These past few years had shown her she didn’t need a man in her life to be happy. She quite liked it on her own.
Someone pounded on the bathroom door. Then Owen’s voice asked, “You about ready? There’s a storm headed this way.”
Natalie took a deep breath and turned to the door. She opened it to find Owen still there. He held her gaze for a moment before he turned to the side to allow her to pass.
She’d been grateful for the clothes Callie had lent her, but she felt more herself now that she was in her own clothes—a pair of jeans and a cream sweater with gold threads shot through it.
She zipped up her brown suede booties, added a long, gold necklace, earrings, and a set of bangle bracelets in addition to her watch.
The fatigues might be practical, but they weren’t her style.
“You might want to bring those boots for later. Wear the combat boots Callie gave you.”
Natalie raised a brow. “Why? What haven’t you told me?”
“We’ve got a walk ahead of us.”
“A walk?” she asked in confusion.
He nodded. “The truck is parked on the back of the property. No one will see us leaving the ranch.”
He was nothing if not careful. She changed into the combat boots and held her booties. When she stood, their gazes clashed.
She stared into his chocolate eyes and wondered what he thought of her. Did he think she’d changed as much as she knew he had?
“Ready?” he asked as he adjusted the backpack he’d put on and grabbed a rifle.
“As I’ll ever be.”
He grinned before opening the door of the base and slowly making his way up the stairs. She waited, watching the cameras.
“Come on up,” Owen called.
Natalie grabbed the .9mm left on the desk and made her way up the stairs. When she reached the top, Owen closed and locked the base doors.
“Here,” he said and handed her a rifle.
She recognized it as the one he’d taught her to shoot with. She put the pistol in her purse and grasped the larger weapon. “Thanks.”
They crept from the barn and dashed across the field to a copse of trees as dawn streaked the sky. She was grateful that he’d mentioned her changing her boots. Though he hadn’t done it to be kind to her feet. He’d done it because it was the rational thing to do.
They said nothing as they steadily made their way over the Loughman Ranch property. She had forgotten just how big the ranch was. It looked vastly different on the back of a horse versus walking.
Once they were in the thick forest of trees, she said, “It looks as if there’s more livestock.”
“I believe there is. Virgil must be keeping up with the demand for good Texas beef.”
Owen stayed a few steps ahead on constant alert. She learned quickly to keep notice of him at all times. If he stopped, she immediately did, as well.
When she spotted the truck through the trees, she let out a sigh. Her feet were killing her. There was no denying that it had been a long time since she’d hiked anywhere other than to a department store.
Owen held up a hand. She halted and watched as he slowly ventured from the trees, his rifle up and ready. He walked around the truck twice, checking tires, doors, and even under the truck.
Finally, he lowered the gun and motioned her forward. Natalie jogged to the vehicle while Owen retrieved the keys and unlocked it for her.
Once inside with her seatbelt strapped, Natalie rested her head against the seat. One ordeal finished—a million to go.
She tried to quiet the thoughts in her head. Impossible with a man as imposing and gorgeous as Owen sitting a few feet from her.
Natalie surreptitiously glanced his way. He looked as rested and refreshed as she wished she was. Then again, he was used to this kind of life. And thank God for that.
The engine roared to life. The backpack was in the seat behind them, holding the vial. Never would she have imagined weeks ago that she would be sitting next to Owen, attempting to rescue his father, save herself, and save the world from a bioweapon.
It was the blurb for a movie. Except there was no guarantee that the good guys would win or that she would still be alive at the end.
“You all right?” Owen asked as he drove.
She turned straight ahead. “I think so.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance at her. She forced her hands to relax and loosen the grip on the seatbelt.
“It’s going to be fine, Nat.”
“Okay.”
They soon drove out of the trees to what might pass for a road. The only indication was the tracks of another vehicle.
She turned her head to find him leaning forward, his hands covering the steering wheel as he stared at her while the truck slowly rolled down the path. “What?” she asked.
“Don’t you think I can keep you safe?”
She winced. “Sorry. I’m nervous. Of course, I do, Owen. The closest I’ve ever been to this kind of situation was reading a Steve Berry novel.”
Owen suddenly smiled, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. “You never liked anything remotely scary. I couldn’t get you on a hayride during the Halloween festival. You wouldn’t even get on the Ferris wheel at the fair.”
He remembered that? A curious feeling began to spread through her. Damn him. She’d forgotten how charming he could be, but no amount of sweet talk would ever make her forget how he’d casually left her behind.
Even if he’d left to follow his dreams and a code that only the Loughmans understood.
He sat back with a sigh, a resigned expression on his face. “You’re uncomfortable alone with me.”
“A little.” There was no use denying it or lying. If they were going to spend any amount of time together, he needed to know how she felt.
And it was a reminder for herself, as well.
“I suspected as much.” There was no heat to his words. Just resignation.
The radio was on, playing George Strait. She hadn’t listened to country music in years, and it was another reminder of her time with Owen. How could it not be? She was with him, on the ranch, in his father’s truck. Where did the memories end?
Natalie forgot how nice it was to ride high up in a truck. She leaned her head back against the seat again and stared out her window for the next twenty minutes as he navigated through a maze of “roads” until finally they found pavement.
It was a back road with minimal traffic. Owen pulled out and pointed them toward Waco. She looked at him and smiled when she spotted him driving with his right hand at the top of the steering wheel while his left elbow was braced on the door.
He did a double take in her direction. “What?”
“You drove in exactly that same position when we were eighteen.”
He smiled widely, laughing as he did. “I never noticed.”
But she had. She turned her head forward. Why had she said anything? Distance, remember, Nat. She needed distance.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” he said.
“I’m not.”
He grunted. “You are. You’re looking out the window and fiddling with the seatbelt. That was always a sign you were anxious.”
Natalie could only stare at him. He’d never told her that he’d noticed those things in the past. “It’s all the memories,” she confessed.
“Yeah,” he admitted. He was quiet for a second. Then he said, “You know, throughout the years I wondered what you were doing, and if you were happy.”
“Really?” She wanted to say that she hadn’t thought of him at all, but it would be a lie. She’d had enough lies throughout her life. There was no need for more.
He glanced at her, his chocolate gaze intense and filled with regret. “Leaving you that night was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“They why did you do it?” The words were out of her mouth before she knew it. She’d sworn she wouldn’t ask. It was over, water under the bridge and all that.
But being with him brought it all back in crystal clarity.
He blew out a breath, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. “I thought it was for the best. I knew you’d ask me to stay, and I wasn’t sure I could deny you.”
“I don’t know what I would’ve done. You didn’t say anything to me leading up to graduation about going off to UT. You didn’t even tell me you applied or were accepted. Since I thought we shared everything, I can’t tell you how much that hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s too late for sorrys.”
Her harsh words silenced any more conversation. She was fine with that for a while. Until she recognized they couldn’t continue this. They were going to have to talk to get through the next few days or weeks.
“It’s done and over,” she said. “There’s no use reliving past mistakes.”
Owen nodded but didn’t respond.
She’d ended the conversation, so it was up to her to start it back up again. “Was the Navy everything you thought it would be?”
For several long minutes, Owen didn’t act as if he’d heard her. Then he said, “In some ways. Not so much in others. It’s my life. I serve my country, protecting the land and citizens.”
“Always the hero,” she whispered.
He shot her a frown. “I’m not.”
“I could list everything, but you’d deny it all and say you were just being a gentleman. The truth is, Owen, you look after people. It’s part of you, just as you followed the need to serve your country.”
Owen continued driving without commenting.
Natalie shifted in her seat. She rolled his words over in her mind. Would she have tried to convince him to stay? Definitely.
Owen had been her life, the very foundation that molded her future. When he’d left, she hadn’t been certain what to do. There was no doubt, that had he stayed, she wouldn’t have gone to Wheaton or to Russia to work those years.
She liked the life she’d led, except for marrying the wrong guy. Then again, who did have the perfect life?
“I had news for you graduation night,” she said. “I found my letter of acceptance from Southern Methodist University that Mom hid. She’d told me nothing ever came and showed me the letter of acceptance from Wheaton College that she had applied to for me.”
“Your mom,” Owen said with a loud snort.
That was all that needed to be said. He knew what kind of woman Diane Dixon was. There was no need to go into her craziness.
“So you went to SMU?” Owen asked.
Natalie hid her grin and watched him for his reaction. “No. I decided on Wheaton.”
His eyes widened as he shot her a surprised look. “Really?”
“I got my MBA in foreign languages.”
“I always knew you were going to do great things.”
She lifted her shoulders to her ears and held the pose for a second as she stretched her back. “It felt nice to be so far from Mom and out on my own. I think it’s exactly what I needed.”
“You definitely needed out from under Diane.”
Natalie laughed. “Being away from Mom had something to do with my decision. No one knew my business, though. I could get lost among all the people. I didn’t have to hide anything or fear that someone would see me and run back to tell Mom. I was truly independent.”
She smiled, remembering how that had felt. “I was terrified of being on my own, but at the same time, it was so exciting.”
“I know what you mean.”
There was something in his voice that drew her gaze. He looked sad, but the emotion quickly disappeared.
“All of that, including a stint in Russia, and you still returned to Dallas.”
She realized where this was going. She also guessed that Owen already knew about Brad. But he was being his usual self and letting her decide if she wanted to talk about it.
“Odd how things turn out,” she answered. “I hadn’t intended to remain in Texas. I was looking at a job in Italy a friend had told me about when the Russian Embassy in Dallas contacted me. The money was good, and I liked that I would be working closely with other embassies and governments.”
“That’s good,” he said with a slight nod.
She hesitated for a second. “I also got married. And divorced.”