Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
FINN
The sweat on my hands makes it hard to grip the bar, but I hold on with my teeth bared. My arms are screaming at me to let go, and my ribs throb painfully.
I embrace the agony and pull myself up by sheer will alone.
The moment my chin clears the bar, my strength gives out, and I lose my grip.
In a split second, I’m falling.
Then I body-slam into the mat.
Dazed, I try to push myself to a sitting position, but I don’t have it in me. Gravity is a hell of a sparring partner, and I flop back into a puddle of my own sweat.
The world spins around me in a mad rush. My harsh breath echoes up to the old ceiling and bounces right back down.
I wait until the roaring in my head goes quiet before attempting to get up and take a shower.
The shower stall in the dojo isn’t available to everyone. After Sensei retired, he sold the gym. The new owner wasn’t half as good a teacher, and about a month later, I overheard him talking about shutting down.
I offered to pay for the room at the back of the building to help with rent and, in exchange, he’d keep going. Now, I can come and go as I please.
Water streams over me and disappears into the drain at my feet. The stench of blood from the glass factory is tattooed in my nose, and no matter how long I stand under the shower, I can’t scrape the day off me.
“All this is yours, Finn.”
Jarod Cross’s words echo in my head.
“This is your legacy.”
I pull the shower lever so hard it nearly breaks in my hand. The water stops pouring and instead becomes a drip over my head.
Planting my hand against the wall, I inhale shakily.
“Enough. Stop thinking about it,” I coach myself.
After my shower, I get dressed and grab my phone from my training bag. The moment I see the hundreds of notifications on the screen, my eyes widen.
Did something happen?
After my ride with Jarod Cross, I drove home, but I didn’t go inside. Dutch and Zane would take one look at my face and know something was wrong.
I’m still not sure how to explain this to them.
I call Dutch, and he answers on the first ring. “Finally.”
I grunt a greeting.
“I’m putting you on speaker. Zane’s here too.”
Zane’s voice sounds unusually excited. “Where the hell have you been?”
I side-step the question. “Did something happen?”
“The girls replied to our song. They sent Jinx a message.”
I grip the phone tighter, my entire skin buzzing.
“It wasn’t really a message. They were code words,” Dutch says to Zane.
“Rooftop, piano, hospital, ring. It means—”
Dutch interrupts. “He can figure it out.”
I close my eyes and shift the words around until they make sense. “Your first date with Cadence was on the rooftop. You played the piano for her.”
“Yeah.” Dutch sounds like he’s smiling.
He had a bright idea to surprise “Redhead” with a song, but he left me and Zane to carry out the order. Getting the piano up all those stairs and through that small door to the rooftop was torture. I swore I’d never help Dutch with any grand gestures again.
“Hospital and ring? That’s obvious. Zane proposed to Grey after the car accident. He had us prep the wedding chapel before he even popped the question.”
“Grey looked stunning in that wedding dress.” Zane laughs. “Even though she was scowling at me the entire way down the aisle.”
“Those memories are something only we would know. Jinx has no idea,” Dutch says.
That’s really good news, and I need it now more than ever.
Throwing my gym bag over my shoulder, I get into my car. “Did J get in touch with you first?”
I don’t remember giving her Dutch and Zane’s number, but she’s Jinx. It wouldn’t be that hard to get that information.
My brothers fall silent.
“Hello?” I frown at my dashboard, wondering if the call dropped when it synced to the Bluetooth.
“We went to her first,” Zane mumbles.
“Why?”
“Because she’s Jinx,” Dutch grinds out. “We discussed it, and we decided that we just couldn’t trust Jinx with something this important.”
A dark heat hisses through my chest. “You went to confront her.”
“We thought it’d be better to get in front of things before we got screwed over,” Zane explains.
I glare into the darkness. The moon ducks behind the clouds as if to escape my wrath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
It’s not lost on me that I’m being completely hypocritical. There are a few things I haven’t told my brothers either.
But it’s for their own good.
Cadence and Tina had a complicated relationship, but Tina was still her mother. Will Dutch be okay telling his wife that her husband’s father is the reason her mother is dead?
It’s a new level of despicable. Even for us.
“Come on, Finn,” Zane says hesitantly. “Don’t be like that. We weren’t trying to hide it from you. It’s just—”
“You like her,” Dutch says plainly.
My grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“I saw it. That night in the chem lab. The way you looked at her, the way you held her—it was obvious.”
My heart thumps to a crazed rhythm.
“Look”—Zane takes over—“we’re not accusing you of anything. We know, better than anyone, how much these things can mess with your head.”
“These things?”
“Love,” Zane says flatly.
I’d laugh, but none of this is funny. “I don’t love Jinx.”
“Fine. But you care about her,” Dutch says, “which makes it hard to be objective.”
My eyes narrow.
Zane stutters, “You have to understand where we were coming from.”
“Jinx isn’t like Cadence or Grey,” Dutch says. “She’s sly and manipulative. I trust you with my life, Finn, but I don’t trust her.”
If I remember correctly, Cadence had an alter ego that Dutch fell in love with long before Cadence ever admitted the truth.
And Grey…
She infiltrated Redwood to take down a crime organization.
None of these ladies are the face of truth and honesty, but if I say that, my brothers will only think I’m defending Jinx.
“You did what you had to do. I’d have done the same,” I mutter.
“He sounds mad,” Zane says to Dutch. “Doesn’t he sound mad? Finn, don’t be mad.”
Dutch’s voice is quiet. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, Finn.”
“We all have our secrets.” My thoughts travel to Jarod Cross and the glass factory. “I’ll see you later.”
I hang up on my brothers.
Dutch and Zane don’t believe in Jinx.
Neither do I.
She’s as slippery as Jarod Cross, minus the murder and mayhem. I’m only working with her out of necessity. As soon as I get what I want from her, I’ll…
Dammit.
My mind goes blank.
I have no desire to punish Jinx anymore. When did that happen?
Do I have feelings for Jinx?
Dutch, Zane, and Sol have been teasing me about the anonymous poster since the day I signed up to her app. Now that I’ve met her in person, a lot of Jinx’s notes make sense.
J’s ability with technology gives her eyes and ears everywhere. She’s smart enough to wear different masks to disarm whoever’s in front of her—friend or foe. Her ability to manipulate both computers and the human mind makes her a basket case.
But an interesting one.
It’s true that I don’t find her… unpleasant.
But not hating her anymore doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.
The romance books I’ve studied made it seem so obvious. Sweaty palms. Nervous laughter. Being unable to make eye contact. When a person has feelings for someone else, they know.
The screen on my dashboard lights up with a call from Dutch.
When I don’t answer, Zane sends a text.
ZANE: We’ll wait up for you, Finn. Let’s talk it out.
But I don’t feel like talking.
At least, not to them.
I start my car and drive in the opposite direction of home.