CHAPTER THIRTEEN – HATTIE
“That’s it? That’s why you think this isn’t a good idea?” I say.
“I don’t want to rush you into anything. And, well, it’s not like I can guarantee you a good time.”
“So, what? You want to wait so you can go home and study it?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
I laugh and tug on his arms, loosening his hold just enough that I can spin in his embrace. I reach up onto my tiptoes so my lips are by his ear and murmur, “Me, too.”
“What?”
“Me, too,” I repeat, pressing the side of my face against his. “Actually… That was my first kiss just now.”
He steps back and cups my face, staring intently into my eyes. “It was?”
I nod. “So, I’m pretty sure you’ve got nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t know a ‘good time’ from a bad one.”
“That fills me with so much confidence.” A laugh escapes him, and I can’t help but smile a little at the relief that instantly sags his shoulders. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nod, touching my hand to the back of his on my face. “Do you think I forgot everything? No. I was waiting for you this whole time. Just in case I ever made it back to you.”
“Fuck.” He kisses me, and it’s nothing like the one from a moment ago. It’s a harsh coming together of our lips, and I squeak, tilting my head slightly.
There’s a clumsiness to both our movements. It’s almost as if our bodies know what to do but our brains don’t, and we fumble our way back to the bed. I stumble over my own feet and fall back onto it, and Finn lies me back, leaning over me.
His heated gaze bores into mine from above. A tingle of anticipation writhes its way down my spine, and I curl my toes as he lowers his head and brushes his lips over my neck.
“Tell me,” he murmurs against the flushed skin of my throat. “If I do something you don’t like. If I’m too rough, if I hurt you… Tell me, and I’ll stop.”
My breath hitches, and I nod. “I will.”
“Good.” He slides his hand between us and undoes the belt of my robe, and my hitched breath quickly becomes a shaky exhale as I close my eyes and turn my face to the side.
My cheeks are burning. Never in my life have I exposed myself to someone like this. It’s a level of vulnerability that’s always been unfathomable to me. To hand myself and my body to another person, to grant them control over me…
No.
“Hattie.” Finn runs the pad of his thumb over my lower lip. “If you aren’t comfortable…”
Oh, God, I froze.
“No, I—”
“Don’t force yourself,” he says, gazing down at me. “I’ll wait for you if you’re not ready.”
I throw my arm over my face, breaking our eye contact. Shit, I’m so embarrassed. I’m twenty-eight. This man just promised to marry me. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do this?
“I want to,” I breathe, my chest heaving. “I just… It’s…”
“Is it how we’re lying?” He pulls back, sitting up and giving me space while pulling the robe closed over my bare chest.
I peek out from under my arm. “What do you mean?”
“It’s not me, is it? I’m not making you uncomfortable?”
“No! And I want to do this. I really do.”
“Then, let’s try this.” He shifts and lies on the bed next to me, capturing my hand with his and kissing the inside of my wrist. “Would you be more comfortable if you were on top of me? If you could move at any point?”
I swallow, glancing at his chest. “Maybe.”
“Try it.” He rolls over, hooks one arm around my body, and makes a lame attempt at rolling onto his back again.
I shift and push myself up and over so I’m on top of him. I adjust my legs so I’m sitting on his lap, and he props himself up on his elbows, looking up at me.
Tentatively, I reach out and run the back of my fingers down his cheek.
His eyes briefly flutter closed as he turns into my touch, and I do the same with the other hand.
His skin is hot and soft, flushed from our kissing, and he slowly opens his eyes as I trace the shape of his handsome face with my fingertip.
He doesn’t say a word.
He merely lies there beneath me, watching me hotly as I explore every inch of his face.
I take my hand lower, trailing it over his stubbled jaw and down onto his neck. His throat bobs as my nail tickles the sensitive skin there, but he tilts his head back as if he’s submitting to me.
Oh.
There’s something to be said for having the crown prince beneath me like this.
I bite the inside of my cheek and focus on his neck. Has anyone else ever seen him this vulnerable? Has anyone else ever had this kind of power over him?
I doubt it.
This… This is just for me.
I bend down and kiss his neck. He sucks in a deep breath, one that makes his whole upper body quiver. A tremor goes through my own limbs, but it’s not one of fear.
It’s one of delight. Of anticipation.
Of what could be.
I bring my lips back to meet his. Nerves pulse through my body, but as he responds to my kiss with slow strokes of his tongue, they calm. It’s all too easy to lose myself in the way he touches me.
Each one is gentle. Never too rough or too forceful. Just a soft, almost reverent exploration of my body until he undoes the belt of my dressing gown. I sit up and shrug it off, revealing nothing but my panties beneath.
His chest heaves. “You—”
“I stopped thinking you were coming at one point,” I whisper. “So, I got comfy.”
“Thank God for that.” His eyes roam over my body, from my pebbled nipples to where my pussy is pressing right against his erection. “Can I touch you?”
I nod.
He shifts, sitting up, and wraps one arm around my waist. His lips draw a path of tender kisses along my jaw and down my neck, and he slips one hand up beneath my top towards my breast.
Slowly, he cups it, brushing his thumb over my nipple. The only person who’s ever touched me there is me, and the unfamiliarity sends both a jolt of nervousness and pleasure through me.
He stills, but I whisper, “Keep going,” as I slip my fingers through his hair. He does as I say, lowering his mouth even further until it reaches my breast. My skin is hot beneath his mouth as he finds my nipple with his lips and gently sucks it into his mouth.
I drop my head back, gasping. He circles it with his tongue, teasing it in ways I’ve never imagined. His touch sears against my skin. My whole body is alight with sensations I didn’t know existed, and it’s almost overwhelming.
And we’ve barely begun.
Fuck.
How does anyone survive this?
Finn rolls his hips against me, pressing his cock against my core. He drops his hands to my thighs and slowly slides them up, edging his thumbs up the insides towards my pussy. He pauses and looks up to meet my gaze.
I nod, and he continues. I’m not uncomfortable at all—not like this. He was right. Knowing I’m not trapped and can move at any point is reassuring, even though I know he’d stop if I said a simple ‘no.’
But I don’t want to. I want to keep on like this, to see what else I can feel.
It’s strange. He’s both nervous and confident at the same time, and as his fingers glide through my wetness, he raises his head and brings his mouth to mine.
Slowly, he pushes a fingertip inside me.
The only person who’s ever touched me here is me.
I tense.
He stills, and I pull back from the kiss to breathe deeply.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “Keep going.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He pushes it further inside my pussy, and my muscles clench around him. His lips brush over mine, and I reach one hand between us to cling onto his shirt. I’m so much more exposed than he is, but it doesn’t bother me.
Weird.
I thought it would.
Was he right? Was our position the problem? What happens when we actually have sex? I can’t do it from here, can I? I don’t know what I’m doing, but what if I can’t be beneath him? Could he go—
“You’re thinking too much,” Finn murmurs against my lips, his finger deep inside me. “What’s bothering you?”
“I don’t… I don’t know,” I answer with a breezy laugh.
His lips quirk to the side. “You okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine.”
He slips his finger out and adds another, making my breath hitch. “Still okay?”
I swallow. “You know, I might be a virgin, but I’m not that much of a virgin.”
Something darkens his eyes.
“Alone,” I say quickly. “Um. Assisted. But alone.”
His gaze immediately brightens, and his eyebrows shoot upwards. “Well, that changes things.” A thought flashes across his face.
“Um, what was that look for?”
“What look?”
“That look just now.”
“I was just thinking that one day soon, you’ll have to show me this ‘assistant’ you have.”
“I can’t do—”
“Shh.” He presses his lips to mine, silencing me. “Let me focus.”
Any protest I was about to make dies against his tongue meeting mine. He said to let him focus, and it’s not like I have any choice.
Even though I’m on top, any notion of me being in control is shattered. His fingers curve inside me, hitting just the right spot, and with each stroke of his fingers, I fall more to his mercy.
I don’t know how it happens, but everything changes. My dressing gown falls to the floor, exposing me completely. His shirt comes off, finally putting us on a somewhat equal level of undress.
He removes his fingers, and I reach down between us, cupping his erection over his trousers. Finn groans, bucking his hips, and I gently bite his lower lip.
That undoes him.
He moves me off him, all but tossing me onto the bed next to him. Unlike before, he doesn’t cover my body with his.
Instead, he takes off my underwear and parts my legs. My breath hitches at the sight of his face between my legs, and my heart pounds in my chest with the anticipation of what he’s about to do. Then, slowly, he drags his tongue along my slit until he finds my clit and closes his lips around it.
The moan that leaves my mouth is nothing short of unholy.
Okay.
Wow.
Toys don’t do that.
I feel his inhale more than I hear it, and as if the noise that came out of me spurs him on, he does it again. His tongue moves, almost a little uncertainly, but with each of my moans, he gains confidence, and each movement becomes more precise.
Until he achieves his goal.
Heat washes over me, and I fist his hair as I come. It’s a surreal sensation, and I barely have time to recover before Finn stands and looks down at me.
“Hattie, I…” His throat bobs, and he reaches down towards his cock.
There’s a lump in my throat. But… I nod.
As if this will ensure he keeps his promise to marry me. As if us sharing something so intimate will mean it can’t be taken away from me.
They’re irrational thoughts. I know that. I know. But that doesn’t stop them from taking over.
I clutch the sheet and pull it towards me, partially covering my body. Finn sheds his remaining clothes, and my gaze drops to his erect cock. He bends down, blocking my view, and freezes.
When he stands again, he looks at me awkwardly. “I don’t… Shit. I didn’t bring anything. I didn’t want to be presumptuous.”
I smile from behind the sheet. Crap. We are vastly different people. “It’s okay. I am presumptuous, and I’ve been on the pill since we met.”
He runs his tongue over his lips, desperately trying not to smile. “You know, some people might think that’s a bit weird.”
“Are you one of them?”
“No. I’m the weird one who likes it.” He bends over me and kisses me, sliding his fingers between mine. He grips my hand tightly, sliding his tongue against mine, and I press my naked body up into his.
Thank God for that.
He pulls back before my chest gets tight again and positions himself between my legs, hands flat against my thighs. “If it hurts, tell me.”
I nod. “I will.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” I reach forwards and take his hand the way he just did mine, lacing my fingers through his. “I want this, Finn.”
He takes a deep breath and urges my thighs open, then gently grasps his cock and presses the tip of it against my pussy. He rubs, gently, then inches it just inside me.
It stings.
I inhale sharply, and he freezes.
“Hattie?”
“It’s fine.” I squeeze his hand tightly. “Keep going.”
“Are you su—”
“Keep going!”
Concern darkens his eyes, and I focus on my breathing as he pushes a little further inside me. It’s different to fingers. Different to toys. It’s hot and hard and stingy, and it’s all I can do to keep breathing as he goes deeper.
He grunts, pausing, and leans down over me. He kisses me softly, and the tenderness in his touch trickles over me, making me relax. I sink into the bed as he edges the rest of the way inside me and stills so I can adjust.
This is it.
We’re together.
We’re one.
More than anything else, now this man is—
“Mine,” Finn murmurs against my lips. “Now, you’re mine, Hattie.”