CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – HATTIE #2
He looks at the folder. “I’ll see if I can find something by then.”
“Don’t rush.” I go as Finn leads me out of the room, and I throw a hand in the air in farewell. “I’ve got things to do before I tear her down fully.”
His dark chuckle follows us, chasing us down with the echoes of his amusement.
“He’s helpful,” I muse once we’re out of his earshot. “I’m surprised.”
Finn peers down at me, one eyebrow quirked. “Don’t be. He likes a challenge, and you’ve just given him one. Not to mention that beneath that crispy exterior of his, he rather enjoys a bit of gossip.”
“Well, I’m sure he’ll have more fun—and success—than I would.”
He stops in front of me and rests his hands on his shoulders. “Hattie… Why didn’t you ask me for help?”
“I figured you’d probably ask him anyway, and it’s not like—” I pause, meeting his gaze. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes, something an awful lot like… “Wait, are you jealous that I asked him instead of you?”
Finn clears his throat and looks away. “What do I have to be jealous of?”
I take his chin between my finger and thumb and tug his face back, studying each sharp line of it. “You’re jealous.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re pouting.”
“I don’t pout.”
“You’re pouting,” I repeat with a smile. “Don’t be so dramatic. I only brought that information just in case. I didn’t know if he’d want to help me or not, and I didn’t want to bother you with it.”
“Hey.” He catches hold of my wrist and presses a kiss to the inside of it. “It’s not a bother with you, Hattie. Ever. If you need something, just ask. I told you I’d give you anything you want, didn’t I?”
“You did,” I say softly. “But—”
“You’re not ready to trust me just yet.” He smiles, but a ghost of hurt flashes through his gaze.
“It’s not like that. I just—”
“It’s fine,” he says, although it’s clear he’s bothered by it. “Yes, it hurts that you don’t fully trust me given our relationship, but I understand. You need time. My feelings are not your responsibility, and I don’t want you to force yourself to do something that you aren’t comfortable with.”
I swallow.
God, he’s too nice to be dragged into my bullshit.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, curling my fingers into a fist. “It’s not your fault. I’m used to being alone, and this is so personal, and I…” I take a deep breath before slowly letting it back out again. “It’s really not your fault.”
“Hey.” Once again, he uncurls my fist. He slides his fingers between mine, interlocking them, then brings our clasped hands to his mouth where he presses a lingering kiss against my knuckles.
“I’m not blaming you. Don’t think that I am.
I understand. Don’t feel bad for how you feel.
We’re in this together—a partnership. I knew what I was signing up for when I walked into that hotel room.
I wish you would trust me, but I can’t make you. I’ll simply wait until it happens.”
“Thank you.” I step forwards and rest my forehead against his chest. His presence is so calming and grounding. It’s the same feeling as stepping outside for the first time in a while and turning your face into the sun.
That soft, soothing warmth that slowly trickles through your entire body.
That’s what Finn feels like to me.
The sun.
He cradles the back of my head and tilts his down, pressing a kiss to my hair. “My only request is that you keep me informed, all right? Don’t hide things from me. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what you’re up to.”
I nod against his chest. “I will.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Good. Now, when you get back, send me your schedule between now and the banquet. I’ll have the palace vet your remaining clients to make sure they’re legitimate. I’ll also have Alec arrange security in close proximity in case anything like this happens again.”
“Isn’t that a little overkill?” I tilt my head back to see him looking down at me. Our noses are but a breath apart, and the raw intensity in his blue eyes makes my stomach tighten.
“No. There is no such thing as overkill when it comes to your safety.” He brushes a kiss across my forehead. “Get used to it. It’ll be far worse when the whole world knows you’re mine.”
A tingle dances down my spine.
Oh.
When he says it like that, he makes it sound like less of an obligation and more of something he wants to do. Like he’s not just doing it because of our agreement.
Maybe he isn’t.
It’s a wild thought, I know, to think that he could actually care about me in a way that’s deeper than mere obligations.
It’s crazy to think that in the short time we’ve spent together he’s developed any kind of emotional attachment to me that would lead to him saying this stuff from a deeper place, but maybe I can allow myself to be a fool.
Just a little bit.
“Send your calendar to Sophia to get it checked,” he says, pulling back and adjusting our hands so we can walk. “I don’t think we’ll see each other again until the day of the banquet, right?”
I sigh. “Yes. Between your schedule, my work, and all the preparations we need to make, I don’t think there’s any time.”
He grunts, tensing his shoulders.
Cute.
Wait, cute? What’s wrong with me?
“Well, it’ll be worth it.” He lifts our clasped hands and kisses my fingers, then peers down at me with a smile. “Just be careful, Hattie. Your family don’t suspect anything, do they?”
I shake my head. “Jasmine and Rosalyn won’t even be here from Wednesday. They’re going off for some fancy spa getaway so she looks all pretty to get her heart broken.”
His smile grows just a tiny bit. “Keep it that way. If they suspect anything…”
“I’ll be fine.” I squeeze his hand as we approach the entrance to the garage. “I know how to stay out of their way.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod. “Positive.”
“All right.” He pauses, then pulls me against his body. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my hair, then dips his head and brushes his lips against the corner of my mouth.
He’s worried about me.
For me.
Will I ever get used to this? To someone caring?
How do I ease his worry? I know how to calm scared children and distract wayward toddlers. I know how to settle the nerves of nervous young’uns with a dream, but a man? Who cares about me?
The warmth of his lips on the top of my head tingles its way down to my toes, and, ah—I know.
Touch.
He’s a touchy-feely person.
I’m not. I never have been. Not since I was a child, at least. As an adult, affection and closeness has never been something that’s crossed my path, and I feel clumsy for even considering it.
Physicality seems to come so easily to him. Whether it’s stroking my hair, touching my hand, resting his arm over my shoulders… it’s so natural, like he’s barely even thinking about it.
It’s just so foreign to me.
But I want to try. I don’t want him to be worried about me, and if I can’t stop it, then surely, I can do something to ease it. Something in his language, something he understands, even if I don’t.
I turn my face until our lips meet. It’s a soft, barely-there brush of our mouths, but it sends a little fizz of something unknown through me.
Ah.
I kissed him.
I really did it.
Finn pulls back and gazes down at me with questions in his eyes.
Uh-oh. Did I mess up? Shouldn’t I have done that? Did he not like it? Was it too presumptuous of me?
My heart thumps in my chest. I know we’ve had sex, but what if he really didn’t like the kiss? Did I go too far? I know the Royal Family doesn’t show affection in public, but this isn’t public, and I just wanted to comfort him like he was me, and oh God, I’ve fucked up.
“Sorry.” The word hurries out of me, barely registering in my brain before it falls from my tongue. “I shouldn’t have done that. I—”
“No.” Gently, he lifts his hand to my face and brushes his thumb across my cheekbone. “You can kiss me whenever you want, Hattie. In fact, I encourage it.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he murmurs and lowers his mouth to mine. This kiss is just as gentle, just as warm, and I lean into him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.
Ah.
Yes.
This… This is the sunshine he embodies.
I’m like a moth to a flame, and even though I know it’s dangerous, I’ll fly up and flirt with his fire again and again if it means I can feel this dizzying warmth.
“Come on,” he whispers, barely pulling his lips from mine. “Before I change my mind about letting you go.”
Something blooms inside my chest, and I nod. “I really do have to go.”
“I know.” He kisses the tip of my nose and steps back, putting some space between us. We walk the remaining short distance to the underground garage entrance, and he pulls open the door. “So, I suppose I’ll see you in a week.”
“Yeah. I guess so.” I step through into the garage where Sophia, Marina, and Joe, the usual driver, are all waiting for me by the car.
“Keep Marina close,” he orders. “And if anything happens, tell me. At least tell her—Alec will be able to deal with some things much faster than I can.” He pauses. “And if you notice anyone suspicious around you, check with her.”
“Because Alec has a small security detail on me whenever you don’t?” I ask with a half-smile.
“How did you… You know what? Never mind,” Finn trails off with a shake of his head. “After what I just witnessed, I won’t question you.”
“Good plan.” I pat his chest, and he quickly grabs my hand to kiss it.
His eyes twinkle when our gazes meet. “See you in a week, Hattie.”
“Yeah.” I slide my hand out of his and take a few steps back, unable to stop the small curvature of my lips. “See you in a week, Finn.”