Chapter 9 Birthday Boy #2
“First,” William said, “This shouldn’t surprise you, given recent events: Gay Chapel is Wednesday. That’s not common knowledge. I heard the news from an inside source.”
Everyone groaned, which cued Matt that this wasn’t a good thing. No sodomy in the pews. No rainbow flags.
“What’s Gay Chapel?” he asked.
Kevin answered. “You know how the ancient Romans used to toss Christians to the lions and sit around and cheer while the lions had a snack?”
Matt nodded.
“It’s kind of like that, except with fags.”
Matt had been enjoying his birthday cake but set it aside on the coffee table. He’d lost his appetite for celebration.
William nodded grimly. He looked at Matt. “This will be your first one. You’ll feel like all eyes are on you. In a way they will be. Everyone will be sizing up their neighbors, looking for closet cases. Try not to crack. If you do, you’re toast at MCU, loved and hugged right out the door.”
Harley tapped Matt’s arm. “You gonna eat that?” he asked, pointing to Matt’s leftover cake on the coffee table.
Matt shook his head, decided maybe the moment deserved some levity. “It’s all yours, dahling!”
Everyone laughed. This seemed to be an easy punchline.
Harley snagged Matt’s leftover cake.
“Next topic,” William said after the laughter subsided. “Colton Langley. We now know he’s the person who ratted out Adam to the dean.”
A shocked silence settled on the room. Harley put down his fork.
“Correction,” said Luke. “Colton’s the ‘shitbag’ who ratted out Adam. The guy isn’t human.”
“Kevin crossed his arms, declared, “It’s déjà vu all over again.”
“What’s déjà vu?” Matt asked. “I mean, I know what the phrase means. How is this déjà vu?”
“Is that solid information about Colton?” Evan demanded of William. “Or just speculation given your history with him?”
Josh jumped in. “Solid. I visited Adam in the hospital while his parents were grabbing lunch. I told the nurse I was his brother.”
“And?” Evan prompted.
“And Colton’s gaydar works as well as ours. He guessed that Adam was gay, befriended him, and tricked him into confiding his secrets, including that he and an older student—me, obviously—had hooked up on some old country road.”
William addressed Kevin. “We never established definitively that Colton was behind that kid’s expulsion last year.”
“What’s gaydar?” Matt asked.
“All the same,” Evan said to William. “I feel like we should have seen this coming.”
“Gaydar’s a sixth sense, but with extra glitter,” Luke explained to Matt. “Yours will improve over time, hopefully like your stamina!”
Everyone laughed good naturedly.
“You all know?” Matt asked.
“News travels fast around here,” William said wryly. “Almost as fast as you, dahling!”
Harley patted Matt’s knee. “Don’t worry, buddy. I hold the record: two minutes flat.”
“And now he’s up to two minutes fifteen seconds!” said Todd.
“Guys!” said Josh. “This isn’t a laughing matter. We should probably assume Colton’s next target will be one of the two gay freshmen, Paul Olson, or Matt. They’re the weakest link.”
Matt sat frozen. He could be this Colton guy’s next target.
Evan asked Josh if he thought Adam had given his name to Colton or the dean.
Josh shook his head. “Adam says he didn’t. I believe him. He’s a good kid. Besides, don’t you think that if they knew my name, I’d be an ‘ex’ student by now?”
William nodded. “I think Josh is safe. And Matthew knows not to fall for Colton’s tricks. Which leaves Paul.”
William turned to Harley. “As Paul’s sponsor, what’s your opinion of his readiness for membership?”
Harley wiped cake crumbs off his shirt. “He’s a good kid. Very bookish. He’s just so scared. His dad’s a preacher. You know the drill. We never got past talking.”
William arched an eyebrow. “Harley, no hedging here. Do you, or do you not, recommend Paul for membership?”
Harley grimaced, shifted his weight in discomfort. “Not at this time,” he said.
“I think that settles it,” William said. “We’ll discontinue Paul’s recruitment. Any objections?”
“What do you mean by ‘discontinue?’” Matt asked. “Like pause?”
William shook his head. “It means what it means. You get one shot at membership. Period. No second chances. We can’t take the risk.” He looked around the room. “Any objections?”
Matt waited, hoping one of the other members would speak up on Paul’s behalf.
It just seemed wrong to cut Paul loose. If they did nothing, they would be complicit in tossing Paul to the lions—their fellow students in general, the dean and Colton specifically.
And what if, in despair, Paul took the same road Adam had taken?
This time the blood would be on the GM’s hands.
“I object,” Matt said.
Silence.
William motioned for Matt to continue.
“No one doubts that Paul is gay, right?” Matt asked. “He’s just scared and timid—more than we ever were. But, scared as he is, he hasn’t had gay guilt and ratted Harley out to the dean. That counts for something, doesn’t it?”
“It isn’t enough,” William said. “Our standard has always been that a guy must be comfortable enough in his own skin, that he’s accepted that he’s gay, and there’s no turning back. Paul isn’t there yet.”
Everyone nodded in grim agreement.
Matt looked around the group. He had said his piece. They had listened politely. The Godmother had made her ruling. He would be a fool to push any further.
Matt knew what he had to say.
The mere thought of it terrified him.
He took a deep breath, centered himself.
“There’s something I haven’t told you. About me.
” He broke off eye contact, stared at the floor.
Started again. Stopped, then finally found his voice.
In broken sentences, in shallow breaths, and blinking back tears, he told them about the rape, how it had trapped him in fear and shame.
How he had known he was gay but couldn’t find the path out of the fear.
“Rape is not the only way to terrorize a person with fear. Sometimes it is preacher dads. Maybe Paul just needs help finding his way.”