Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IONA
Age twenty
It’s eleven thirty and the restaurant, a burger place, is quiet, although I’m sure it’ll soon be bustling with the lunch crowd. Lewis and I are sipping on Irn-Bru and killing time until my da arrives. The only other table that’s taken is in the far corner, where a young couple, about our age, sit nestled close to each other. The guy has one arm casually draped around the girl’s shoulders, and with his other, he picks up fries and pops them in his mouth as they chat away.
Lewis shifts in his seat, his leg briefly brushing against mine. The contact may have been accidental, but I liked it. It makes me wish he and I could be more open with our affections when I’m up north. I can understand the secrecy when we’re in Bannock, but right now we’re in Inverness, the “Capital of the Highlands”. We’re sitting side by side, so I wouldn’t mind snuggling up to him and having his arm wrapped around me, especially as it’s a cold February morning and I’m still shaking off the chill from outside.
Drumming my fingers on the table, I decide to voice my thoughts. “Is it weird that we’ve not told anyone back home about us? We have been hooking up for a year and a half now.”
Lewis snatches up the menu and holds it in front of his face then peeks out from behind it and puts a finger to his lips. “Shh! You never know who might be listening. Bannock folk are always popping through to Inverness at the weekend.” He ducks back under cover like a really bad secret agent.
I groan. “Stop messing around. I’m being serious.”
He tosses the menu down and winks. “Sorry. I don’t know. Weren’t you the one keen to keep things casual?”
He’s right. University is hard work, and although my inner party animal has emerged since leaving home, I haven’t lost my nerdy instincts. I just wouldn’t have the time for a proper boyfriend. Meeting up with Lewis once a month, or occasionally twice, but being able to focus on my studies the rest of the time? That’s perfect.
“We do need to keep it casual for the moment,” I concede, “but do we have to keep it a secret?”
“What do you suggest I say to my maw and da?” Lewis shoots back. “ Nah, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend—we basically just meet up every few weeks to shag each other senseless. Any questions? Maybe some people can talk candidly about that stuff with their parents, but not me, and I don’t think you have that sort of relationship with your maw either. Besides, can you imagine what my siblings would say? Jamie would have a field day. You’d be able to escape his jokes down in Glasgow, but I wouldn’t. I’d be stuck with him in the hotel, and it’d be nonstop. I’d never hear the end of it.”
I smile at this. Lewis is right: Jamie would tease him mercilessly. “Fair enough. Anyway, I suppose what we’ve got is pretty good, isn’t it? Like, take Charlotte and Erin. I’ve never known either of them to see the same guy more than a couple of times. Generally, they meet someone at a club, go home with him afterwards, have a bit of fun, and then never meet up again. That just isn’t my scene—I much prefer what we have.”
“Right. Your brother does the same thing, and every time I spot him with yet another random lassie, I think to myself, Poor Aidan. Sleeping with all these beautiful young women—that can’t be an easy life . Me, though? I get to go celibate for, like, twenty-nine days a month. I’m living the dream.”
I slap Lewis’s thigh with just enough force to sting. He chuckles.
“There is so much wrong with what you just said,” I accuse. “First, I don’t want to hear any details about my brother’s sex life, thank you very much. And second, you know you’d never find another woman as fun in the bedroom as me. I’m worth waiting for.”
“That is true.” Lewis takes a sip of his drink then leans close to me. “So... read anything hot lately? Any new things for us to try? If so, count me in.”
“Shouldn’t you hear the ideas first before saying you’re game?”
He shrugs. “Nah, I’m up for anything.”
“That’s perfect because I’ve been reading about some of the things that dominatrices get up to, and I was thinking it’d be fun to kick you in the nuts. Repeatedly.”
Lewis barks out a laugh. “Piss off.”
“Oi, watch your tongue when speaking to your mistress. I’m being completely serious.” I place a hand on his shoulder and fix him with an earnest stare. “It’s a fantasy I’ve never admitted to you before, but finally I’ve found the courage to open up. You’ve already told me you’d be up for anything, so there’s no backing out now. The next time you come to Glasgow, it’s happening. We’ll buy a bag of ice for afterwards—you’ll want to nurse your poor balls.”
Lewis shudders. “All right, so maybe I’m not up for anything . What I meant is anything you’re actually into because I don’t believe for a second you’re into that. I’ve a good idea of the sorts of things that turn you on, Iona.” He nudges my shoulder. “We’re pretty sexually compatible, you and me.”
“Iona!”
Our conversation comes to an abrupt end because my half-brother, Archie, runs over, sporting a bright smile that’s missing a few teeth. He’s nine years old and utterly adorable. They say every cloud has a silver lining. Well, as devastating as the revelation of Da’s secret second life was, Archie is the one good thing to have come out of it, even if I don’t see too much of him. He lives here in Inverness with my da, who left Bannock after the truth came out, and Kirsty, my da’s new woman. I get on okay with her, but I wasn’t exactly disappointed when Da said she couldn’t make it today.
“Hi, you.” I wrap my arms around Archie and give him a squeeze.
“Good to see you, Iona.” My da places a hand on my shoulder then bends over and kisses my cheek. “And Lewis! It’s been much too long. You’re a man now.”
Grinning, Lewis stands and shakes Da’s hand. “You’re looking well, Ewan. And Archie, hi! My name is Lewis. Can we shake hands too?”
They do, then Da and Archie sit opposite us at the table. We catch up and order burgers. I ask Archie the usual questions about how school is going and how he’s getting on at his sports clubs, while he asks me what I’ve learnt about snakes and lizards on my course. He really wants to get one—Da is less keen.
Soon Archie’s interest turns to Lewis. “Are you Iona’s boyfriend?”
“No, we’re just—”
“Yes!” I interrupt, taking Lewis by surprise—and myself too. I bite my lip then offer Lewis a shy smile.
Archie scrunches his face up, puzzled by this contradiction.
“Well, he’s sort of my boyfriend,” I clarify, wondering how to explain this. “He lives in Bannock and I live in Glasgow, so we don’t see each other very often. But when he visits me, it’s like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Archie shrugs.
Da chuckles, his eyes twinkling with a touch of nostalgia. “I always knew you two would end up together. You were inseparable growing up.”
“Aye, well, we’ve not told anyone in Bannock,” I say. “We’re not planning to either—it’s hush-hush. I trust you can keep quiet about it. After all, you’re no stranger to a secret relationship.”
Da raises his brows, unsure if this is an attack, but I smile to let him know I’m just teasing. At some point you have to be able to joke about these things.
I glance at Lewis. “You don’t mind that I said, do you?”
He grins. “Not at all. It means I get to do this.” He slings an arm around me and pulls me close, giving me a quick peck on the lips.
“Ew!” Archie protests. “I don’t want to see you kissing!”
A rush of warmth spreads across my face, and I can’t help but giggle. It’s both thrilling and mortifying to be kissed in front of Da and Archie.
Our food arrives and we chat some more as we enjoy it, then afterwards we say our goodbyes. Archie, who’s already bored of grown-up talk, is excited about going swimming with Da, while I’m happy to have Lewis to myself for a while. We’ll drive through to Bannock later, so I can catch up with Maw and Aidan, but once there we’ll have to revert to just being friends. Hanging out together in Inverness isn’t nearly as exciting as hanging out in my bed in Glasgow, but it’s something.
We go for a chilly walk by the River Ness, and despite the risk of bumping into someone from Bannock, Lewis holds my hand. His is warm, as it always is, even on a day like this, and that sends a pleasant tingle through me. We can chat endlessly, he and I, but we’re just as comfortable in silence, and we’re quiet as we stroll today, simply enjoying the scenery and each other’s company.
After a while, I sing under my breath:
Gin a body meet a body
Comin’ thro’ the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body
Need a body cry?
“Oh, I know that one,” Lewis says. “‘Comin’ thro’ the Rye’ by Robert Burns, right?”
I shoot him a sideways glance and arch an eyebrow. I’ve known him my whole life, and he’s never expressed any interest in old songs and poems. “Charlotte, Erin, and I went to a Burns supper at the end of January, and that one stuck in my head. How do you know it?”
“Er, because it’s practically our theme song, Iona.”
I blink. “It is?” I think through the lyrics. Gin is the old Scots for if , so the lines basically mean: if two people meet in a field of rye (and so away from prying eyes), need anybody get upset if they kiss? It was written in the eighteenth century, at a time when society frowned upon casual romantic encounters, but the song suggests a kiss between two people isn’t something to get worked up about.
“Okay, now I think about it, I can see the connection. You and I do kiss in secret, after all.”
Lewis scoffs. “We do a lot more than that. The version you sang is the innocent one, but Burns wrote another for... less sensitive sorts. In it, instead of kiss , the lyric is fuck .”
“Bollocks. You’re having me on.”
“Nope.” Lewis shakes his head. “I promise you he did. That’s the only reason I know that song. When things have swear words in them, I always pay more attention.”
“But... people didn’t speak like that back then!” I protest.
Lewis throws his head back and laughs hard. “Ha! Characters may speak politely in the historical romances you read, with all those funny euphemisms for penises and vaginas, but the truth is, in the past, Scots were just as dirty-mouthed as we are today. The meaning of the song is: what does it matter if two people fuck in secret? Burns didn’t see any harm in casual sex. As I say, it’s our theme song.”
“Oh, wow.” I give Lewis’s hand a squeeze. “My estimation of our national bard has just gone up. It’s nice to know he’d approve of what we get up to.”
“Aye, well, I could really do with a field of rye about now, if you know what I mean.” Lewis’s dark-brown eyes meet mine, and I spy that all-too-familiar flicker of desire in his gaze.
“In February? Good luck with that.”
“You’re right. Oh well, in that case I’ll just have to find a nice secluded spot on the drive to Bannock. We’ll pull over, and you and I can have a bit of fun on the back seat.”
A thrill of excitement ripples through me. Sex in a car is something we’ve never done before. I’d quite like to tick it off the list.
“Deal. As lovely as this walk is, how about we make a move now?”
“Aye, let’s do it.”
Hand in hand, and laughing as we go, we dash for Lewis’s car, both eager to get to it as fast as we can.