Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
IONA
Perched high on its rocky throne, Edinburgh Castle stands proudly above Scotland’s capital city, watching over the bustle of people and cars on this crisp late October morning. For the past ten minutes, I’ve been convinced that it’s to the historic fortress that Lewis is leading us—but no. We walk on past it and continue along one of the Old Town’s picturesque streets, lined on either side with tall, narrow buildings made of weathered stone.
“So... our mystery date isn’t at the castle.”
“Nope.” Lewis grins. “And I’m not giving you any clues, so stop fishing.”
He’s ridiculously upbeat, considering we left Bannock at six this morning. Then again, he’s used to getting up early. Me, less so. I’ve only just finished my second coffee of the day, but I’m still sleepy. I don’t want to come across as ungrateful, given he’s whisked me away for the weekend, but to justify the early start, this surprise—whatever it is—better be bloody good.
We’ve left our overnight bags in the car for now, but Lewis has a large—and heavy-looking—rucksack on his back. He’s being tight-lipped about its contents, so it must relate to the date somehow, but I can’t think what could be in there.
“Are we going on . . . a picnic?”
He laughs. “You’ll never get it, so there’s no point guessing. But trust me, you’re going to love it.”
There’s a boyish energy about him today, and tired though I am, there’s something infectious about it. I think he’s excited because he has a Saturday and Sunday off from the hotel—the others are covering for him. He’s a bit like a kid on the first day of the summer holidays, with no more school for weeks.
Or . . . maybe there’s another reason he’s buzzing.
“I’d like to make clear, once again, that you will not be getting lucky this weekend, Lewis. As I told you, sex is years away.”
It’s been a month since we went to the Glen Garve Resort for dinner, and since then I’ve insisted that Lewis dial down the romance when organising dates. We need to focus on re-establishing our friendship, and at the resort we got way too hot and bothered. I blame the wine. And the fact we were both dressed up and looked so damn good. The orgasmic food and opulent surroundings didn’t help either.
“Don’t worry, we’re not sharing a bed tonight. We’ve each got our own.” He nudges my shoulder playfully.
We’ve not yet kissed, but he’s not above trying to fit in a bit of physical contact where he can. To be fair to him, though, it’s always innocent.
“I know the rules,” he adds. “Nudity is strictly for photographs only.”
By now I have enough images of Lewis’s penis that I could, if I wished, compile a rather risqué coffee-table book—it’d certainly be a conversation starter. I think I’d call it Dick Pics: A Visual Journey .
Much like our dates, the sending of such photos has become less overtly sexual and more playful—if that’s not too odd a thing to say. I tweaked the rules because, really, how many “regular” pics do you need to see of a guy’s dick? Once you’ve seen a few, you’ve seen them all, right? That’s why I now give Lewis a little more time along with a challenge, like Make it look like something else or Include a prop I wouldn’t be expecting or Take it with your kilt on (but no boxers, obvs) .
And you know what? It’s so fun ! I always look forward to seeing what he comes up with, and wow, he has quite the creative streak. Now that we’re both over the initial naughtiness of the game, I find I mainly giggle at the pictures rather than being turned on by them, but Lewis is okay with that. He sees the funny side too. I love that he’s never taken himself too seriously in front of me that way—I can’t imagine many guys are as uninhibited.
We continue walking, leaving Edinburgh’s Old Town behind us and entering the more modern area of the West End.
“Whatever you’ve organised, I doubt it’ll top the last date,” I comment.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure.”
I give him a sceptical look. “What could possibly beat puppy yoga? The cutest cocker spaniel puppies clambering all over us and nibbling at our toes, while Grace attempted to talk us through our Sun Salutation and get us into Downward-facing Dog... I reckon it was one of the greatest hours of my life.”
Lewis set up the class himself, arranging it with Grace and a local breeder and running it in the hotel’s function room. It was a hit with everyone who attended, and there are already talks about putting on another session. The puppies were just so adorable! Aye, I love my wee niece, Callie, and Lewis’s nephew, Ru, but I could play with a baby all day long without feeling the slightest urge to become a mother any time soon. But after one hour with those puppies, I was desperate to get a dog. Still am.
The yoga was incredible, but to be fair to Lewis, all the dates he’s arranged so far have been a success. Some other notable highlights include a baking class in Auchenford, a pottery-painting session at the Coffee Bothy, and a comedy show in Inverness, where I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee myself. If Lewis thinks this date is going to be better than everything we’ve done so far, it must be bloody special.
Before too much longer, Lewis nods to a sleek, modern building. “That’s where we’re headed.”
It’s a conference centre, and as I take in the banners hanging outside, my heart skips a beat. “Are we... are we going to a romance book event?”
He beams proudly, both dimples showing. “Aye, we are. Good, eh?”
“Oh my God, Lewis!” I clap my hands together and bounce on my feet like a wee kid who’s just been told they’re going to Disneyland. And then, because I don’t know what else to do with this exhilaration, I fling my arms around him. “Thank you!”
“You’re very welcome,” he says, chuckling. He wraps an arm around me and draws me a little closer to him—any opportunity, the sneaky devil.
But I don’t object. The man has earned a hug. I’m not going to take that away from him.
Inside, Lewis shows our tickets and we collect our wristbands. The centre is buzzing with excitement. No one I know is as obsessed with romance novels as I am, so to come here, to a place filled with like-minded people... wow!
It’ll be nice to chat with other readers, but what sends a shiver of pure joy down my spine is that, according to a sign I spot, over two hundred romance authors from across the world are in attendance today. And when I take in some of the names... oh my! I can hardly believe this. I didn’t have any idea this event was taking place. I could have missed it! Lewis has surpassed himself.
The conference centre is huge . There are multiple levels, and each has several rooms. Apparently, there are authors to visit in all of them. There’s also a pop-up bookstore. I don’t know where to begin!
Unsure if there’s a better way to plan our time, I suggest we start off in the nearest room. Around the hall, authors sit behind tables on which their latest books are displayed, along with swag such as bookmarks. Their names are emblazoned on colourful tablecloths or vertical banners. Straight away I notice several big-name authors, easily identifiable by the long lines of readers waiting to meet them. But with equal excitement, I spot a writer whose debut I enjoyed a few months ago and who seems to be free at the moment.
“How does this work?” I whisper to Lewis. “Can I just go up and... speak to people?”
“Aye,” he confirms. “Ask them questions, get them to sign things, take a selfie with them. There’s no charge for any of that stuff—it’s all included in the ticket price.”
“This is incredible.” My voice is tinged with awe.
I’m about to approach the debut author when another attendee walks by us, wheeling a suitcase behind her. My initial assumption is that she can’t have checked into her hotel yet. But then I realise she’s far from the only person to have a case with her—a lot of readers have brought them. I ask Lewis if he knows why.
“Aw, shit. Aye, I almost forgot.” He drops his rucksack. “I nipped into your Maw’s yesterday and went through your, er, extensive romance book collection, comparing it to the list of authors who are here today. I then packed up some books so you can get them signed.”
He unzips his bag, and when I look inside, I... well, I know it’s silly, but I actually get a tad emotional. He’s brought some titles I absolutely adore, which must mean their writers are here—and I’m going to get to meet them.
Tears threaten to spill. I have to wave at my face and take a few deep breaths. “This is a little overwhelming, Lewis. It would have been one thing had I bought a ticket for this months ago and been eagerly counting down the days, but I didn’t even know this event was happening. Bringing me here and surprising me with this... it’s too much happiness all at once! I can’t cope with these emotions.”
He chuckles. “Well, any time you think you might need a hug, just let me know. I’m right here.”
“Yes!” I open my arms for him. “I’ll take another hug, please.”
He draws me in and holds me to him, his body warm against mine.
“In the entire history of the human race, I think this is probably the greatest date a man has ever taken a woman on.” My voice comes out squeaky because I’m so overcome. “I’m being serious.”
“Really? Wow! I was about to say if you see any new books you want to pick up, just let me know and I’ll buy them for you. But if it’s already the best date ever...”
I draw back from him and gaze at him seriously. “Lewis, be very careful. Do not tell me to grab any new books I want. I’ll bankrupt you—you’ll lose everything. We need to agree on some limits. How about this? I’ll only buy five new books.” I think this through. “Actually, that’s rubbish. Okay, ten. In fact... maybe fifteen.”
He smirks. “How about I just warn you when my funds are getting low?”
So we work our way around the room, and I lose myself in a sea of books and authors. There’s an incredible mix of folk here, with writers from every subgenre I can think of: billionaire, romantic suspense, cowboy, paranormal, mafia, sports...
There are historical authors too, of course. Those stories remain my favourite—I think they always will—but I’ve cast my net more widely in recent years and dipped into contemporary stuff. It’s really amazing to see such a wide range of books represented, with love being the one unifying theme across these tales, no matter what else may be different.
“What’s monster romance?” Lewis asks, adding yet another new purchase to the rucksack.
I follow his gaze to a table that’s apparently very popular with readers. The author’s covers all show a human woman in the embrace of a green-skinned orc.
“Isn’t it self-explanatory? I’ve actually never read a monster romance before, but maybe I should. After all, the first dick I ever saw was green—and monster-sized.”
Lewis smiles cockily and puffs out his chest. “Well, the colour may have been from the condom, but the size? All me.”
When a nearby group of attendees burst into giggles, I realise we weren’t speaking as quietly as we should have. Thankfully, they’re not offended in the slightest, but Lewis’s cheeks redden.
He rubs the back of his neck, his cockiness melting into a sheepish grin. “Sorry. Guess I need to work on my indoor voice.”
Being one of the few men here, he attracts a lot of attention. As we continue around the hall, he receives admiring glances from more than a few readers, as well as from a number of authors. I don’t know what impresses them more—the way he looks or the way he carries my books for me without so much as a peep of complaint.
The rucksack soon fills up, so I have to deposit new purchases straight into his arms. Finally I understand his obsession with the gym. Clearly, all his efforts over the last six years have been leading up to this moment. He’s needed the strength so he can lug around a crazy number of romance books for me.
We spend a full hour going around the first room before moving on to the second. I’m not sure how many rooms there are, but we’re still just on the ground floor. The event goes on until five, and I think it’s safe to say we’ll be spending the whole day here.
In the new hall, I do an initial check of author names to see if there are any that catch my eye. Oh aye, there are a few people here I really like. This is great. But then I catch sight of a certain name, and it’s like the world stops. I can’t quite believe what I’m seeing. My heart flutters, and I feel a little weak in the knees. I grab a hold of Lewis’s arm to steady myself.
Wow, he really has put on a lot of muscle over the years—but no, I can’t think about that right now. Because...
“Lewis,” I say, breathing heavily, “is that... who I think it is?”
At a table nearby are the words aurora mckenna .
I squeeze Lewis’s arm even tighter. “Is the author of the Highland Hearts and Hidden Treasures series really here? Oh God, I think I might faint.”
I always thought it a little silly when, in a certain type of historical romance, the heroine fainted. Now I realise it’s an entirely reasonable response to intense emotion.
“Don’t go fainting,” Lewis says. “If you do, I’ll have to drop all these brand-new novels to catch you.”
“You’re right.” I nod bravely. “I’ll pull myself together. For the sake of the books.”
There’s quite the queue at Aurora’s table, as I’d expect, but the nice thing about that is I get to chat with other fans while we wait. And the more we all fangirl over how much we utterly adore her, the more excited we all become about finally meeting her.
By the time I make it to the front, I’m so buzzing with energy I don’t know where to begin. Words fail me. Eventually I blurt, “May I shake your hand?”
Aurora smiles kindly, her emerald-green eyes sparkling. “Of course, sweetie.”
Eagerly I reach out and clasp her. “It’s no exaggeration to say that this is the single greatest honour of my life,” I gush.
She lets out a rich, warm laugh. “Oh, that’s such a lovely thing to hear. It’s an honour for me to meet such a passionate reader.”
Although many of her books are set in Scotland, she’s American, and her voice has a smooth, melodic quality that draws me in.
While I’ve been starstruck, Lewis has got Rival Clans, Secret Riches out of his rucksack. He passes it to me to present to Aurora.
“Would you mind signing this for me?” I say.
“I’d love to.”
She raises her pen, and I desperately try to think of something to say, but my brain is empty. What’s wrong with me? There are so many things I’d like to ask her. I blurt out the only thing that comes to mind before really thinking it through.
“My boyfriend and I once acted out a scene from that book.” I gulp and then, for some odd reason, continue rather than shutting up. “The one where Eilidh tends to Douglas’s wounds by the campfire...”
For the second time since arriving, Lewis’s cheeks flush red. On this occasion, mine do too.
But Aurora just chuckles. “Did you now?”
My embarrassment is short-lived because I notice a pile of books on the table, and I can’t quite believe what I’m seeing. “Is that a new story in the Highland Hearts and Hidden Treasures series? I thought you wrapped up that series years ago?”
“I did, but it’s always been my most popular, and I thought perhaps there were a few more stories to tell. It’s a novella, a bridging story between the original books and a new set of novels that’ll start coming out next year.”
“Oh. My. God.”
Lewis doesn’t have to be told to buy a copy—he just does it, transferring the book pile to one hand to do so. I ask Aurora to sign the new novella too, then I get a picture with her because... well, of course I want a photo with Aurora McKenna.
By the end of this event, I’ll have a whole series of snaps of me posing with the most amazing authors. I can’t imagine I’ll be interested in receiving any more images from Lewis—why would I when I can look back through my memories of today? Dick pics were so yesterday.
After saying a reluctant goodbye and leaving the table, I say to Lewis, “I can’t believe that just happened. We actually met her!”
“Do you realise you referred to me as your boyfriend when you were speaking with her?” He seems pretty chuffed about it.
“Did I? Oh, don’t read anything into that. I was overwhelmed—I wasn’t thinking straight. Besides, it would have taken too long to explain our actual relationship.”
Lewis’s grin doesn’t waver in the slightest, but I don’t have time to worry about that. I need to replay every second of that meeting and relish it all. I don’t even know what she wrote in my books! I open my copy of Rival Clans, Secret Riches to see.
To Iona,
I was pleased to hear this book “inspired” you and your boyfriend!
Aurora McKenna x
Lewis glances over my shoulder and reads the inscription. “Ha! ‘Boyfriend’. If your hero thinks that’s who I am, why don’t we just make it official?”
“Nice try, but don’t go getting any ideas. You’re only my literary packhorse, not my knight in shining armour. Now, giddy-up! It’s time for you to trot along to the next table.”