Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“Stop!”
The word echoed in the room, shaking the walls like thunder rolling overhead. Sudden, sharp silence followed it. It was the sound of a nightmare retreating back into the depths that it had crawled out of.
Katherine blinked quickly, taking in short, heavy breaths.
She pressed her hand to her chest and rubbed away the strange heaviness.
It felt as if it were physically beneath her skin, hanging on with a grip that would leave bruises for days.
She couldn’t remember the dream she was having or why she had screamed herself awake.
All she knew was that something inside her felt wrong.
Rolling beneath the comforter, she groaned quietly. Exhaustion lingered in her bones, but her mind was sharp and rested from the indeterminate amount of time she’d spent asleep. Discomfort twinged the edges of her consciousness, though.
It was as if her gut was churning with the last dregs of a debilitating illness.
She was groggy, her limbs heavy, like bags of wet sand.
When her eyes finally focused, she looked around her chambers.
She was alone, the fire was burning low, giving off a soft orange glow.
The rustle of wind weaving through the trees helped calm her racing heart.
I’m nae goin’ back to sleep anytime soon.
Tossing the pile of blankets aside, Katherine stepped out of bed, feeling a chill when her bare feet touched the cold stone beneath her.
She wrapped a robe around her shoulders before grabbing a candle and lighting it.
After a quick glance at the pile of parchment where her plans for Agnes’s lessons lay, Katherine decided that sitting still wouldn’t help banish her unease.
She walked around the room, searching for something to keep herself occupied.
Surely, they kept some books here for potential guests.
Since she hadn’t been in the castle very long, she hadn’t had a chance to gather any personal belongings.
After a cursory search of several drawers, she realized that no one had left anything entertaining behind.
The only thing she could do in this space was walk in circles on the floor.
“The library is nae far from here, I believe,” she murmured to herself as she shuffled over to where she’d kicked off her slippers the night before. She couldn’t stay here much longer. She might lose her mind. She felt as if she already had. “I could use a book to keep me mind occupied.”
She quietly opened the door to her chambers, aware that sound carried easily in this castle.
Just a few days before, she was sure she heard a conversation happening on the other side of the grounds.
She might not have been a prisoner, but part of her knew she shouldn’t be wandering around in the middle of the night.
There was an argument to be made that Liam hadn’t expressly forbidden it. She knew that wouldn’t get her anywhere with him. His threshold for foolishness was nonexistent. She could get herself into trouble if she were caught.
Still, that knowledge wasn’t enough to stop her. She would just have to be careful.
Her candle casting shadows over the corridor, she moved as soundlessly as she could.
Her slippered footsteps whispered along the stone, blending in with the cool wind rustling the trees beyond the windows.
The castle was unfamiliar in the dark though, so her silence was difficult to maintain.
Truthfully, she could barely find her way there in the daylight.
I ken that I turn right here. Then left after what feels like much too long. And the door should be on me… right hand side.
As she walked, she wondered if the nightmare she couldn’t recall was a symptom of her first official lesson with Agnes. In the hours leading up to it, she’d been so nervous that she thought she might be sick, but it had gone well.
At least, Katherine was fairly sure that it had. Agnes responded well to the way she taught and even showed improvement in just one day. She was bright and eager to learn. However, there was something about the way Liam looked at Katherine before he left that felt off to her.
Regardless, it was a good place for us to start. I think I ken what I’m doin’ now.
She took the upcoming turn with her head down, too immersed in thought to pay much attention to her surroundings.
It wasn’t as though she’d so much as heard another soul moving through the corridors.
So, when she collided with something solid, her first instinct was to drop the candle.
Bracing herself for a fall, she closed her eyes and held her breath, praying that she wouldn’t sustain a serious injury.
Instead of the quick sensation of falling on her behind, she felt pressure on her elbows and fingertips digging into the bony parts of her arm.
A deep voice cursed quietly, so low that Katherine almost didn’t catch it.
Realization hit her suddenly, and she was immediately very grateful for the firm grip that kept her from collapsing onto the floor.
This cannae be happenin’. Could it nae have been anyone but him?
“Roamin’ around the castle after dark,” Liam muttered to himself, releasing her as he bent down to retrieve the candle.
Using his height to his advantage, he relit it with a wall torch before returning it to Katherine’s hand.
His skin brushed hers, sending a ripple of warmth through her entire being that lingered even after he pulled away.
“The least ye can do is watch where ye’re goin’, lass. ”
Katherine wondered if she was still sleeping. This felt like an extension of whatever dream she’d had. She remembered now that he was there though she didn’t think he was the reason she was so frightened. But, right now, she wanted to wriggle free, feeling like a rabbit in the jaws of a wolf.
Speak. Ye cannae just stand here and stare at him.
“Me apologies,” she said, nearly tripping over the words as they left her mouth. She swallowed hard, her throat feeling as though it were swelling closed. “I… I didnae…”
When she tried to explain herself, her mouth went dry.
Laird MacDougal was too close, overwhelming her senses.
She could smell the spicy, pine scent that seemed to follow him everywhere.
He was so tall that his presence felt suffocating.
The way his eyes stared into her made her entire body inexplicably flush.
I could have handled runnin’ into anyone but him.
* * *
“Do ye have nae sense of self-preservation?” Liam demanded when Katherine finally gave up her stuttering.
There was hardly any space between them, and he could feel heat rolling off of her body in waves.
His eyes tracked the flutter of her pulse against her neck.
“Ye shouldnae be wanderin’ the castle in the middle of the night, much less wearin’ next to nothin’ like ye are. ”
Her eyes grew impossibly wider when he looked down at the thin white nightgown she was wearing.
She must have forgotten how she looked. Perhaps if she had closed the robe that was draped over her shoulders, she’d be a bit more modest. As it stood, her perky breasts pressed against the silk, sending a devilish prickle down his spine.
And she acts as if she has nae idea what she’s doin’.
“Ach,” Katherine hissed, pulling the robe tight around her body. Her hands shook as she arranged it over her chest, smoothing the fabric in a deliberate attempt to regain her control. As she tied the ribbon tightly, she said, “I didnae think that I’d run into anyone.”
“If ye’re nae within’ the privacy of yer own quarters, ye should make yerself decent,” he growled, forcing himself to take a step away from her.
His hands itched to grab her, some animalistic urge that he knew would only bring her ruin.
“Ye never ken who will be walkin’ around these corridors. And ye never ken if they’re friendly.”
“I thought ye said I was safe here,” she said, her shoulders tightening.
“Ye are,” he said, scrubbing his hand over his face. He didn’t know how to explain that he was overly cautious with those under his care. “Me guards are more than capable of protectin’ this castle, but there is nae reason to take unnecessary risks.”
And me enemies are the least of yer worries if ye keep walkin’ around wearin’ so little and lookin’ at me like that, lass.
“Right, of course,” Katherine said, lowering her voice when her volume threatened to rise.
It was a placating gesture, something that she must have learned to mitigate another man’s anger.
It seemed that she was anticipating a lecture, answering any questions that he could raise.
“I wasnae in the corridors just to wander. I was lookin’ for the library.
I woke up from a bad dream and just felt so restless.
I thought grabbin’ somethin’ to read and goin’ back to me chambers would help me fall asleep. ”
Liam scoffed, but part of him wanted to question what had woken her. What nightmares haunted her? It was strange, this desire to be close. He was well aware of the dangers that befell those whom he cared about, well aware that getting attached to a woman would put her life at risk.
“That’s still nae reason to be walkin’ around the castle so late at night. Especially if ye’re nae goin’ to pay attention to where ye’re goin’,” he said, dismissing her reasoning even if he understood it. “Now, ye should get back to yer chambers.”
He couldn’t offer her that sort of connection, not this late at night.
Already, his control around her felt brittle, like one push could bring everything tumbling down.
If he spoke of having nightmares, of using the library on nights when sleep evaded him while she was in nothing but a thin robe and a thinner nightgown, he knew that he’d make a mistake that hurt both of them.
Katherine tilted her head slightly to the side, shifting toward him just a bit. The space between them was almost gone. He couldn’t tell if she was testing him or if she didn’t realize how much her presence affected him. It must be a mix of both.
“Is it forbidden for me to roam the castle then?” she asked. Her curiosity seemed genuine though he caught the accusatory tone that underlined it.
She is testin’ me.
“Nay, it’s nae forbidden,” he replied, his jaw tightening, his fists closing at his sides.
He wasn’t sure how she could go so easily from fearful to playful, but it was infuriatingly magnetic.
“But there are situations when ye shouldnae be out like this. The hour, for one thing. So near to me for another.”
Her breath hitched audibly in the quiet surrounding them.
He watched as a shiver ran through her. The moment that her mind registered what he was saying seemed to ignite something in him.
When he met her eyes, her pupils dilated, the candlelight dancing in the obsidian pool hypnotically.
It was like a shot of the strongest whiskey.
I cannae let her make me break me vow. I willnae allow it.
“That sounds as if it’s forbidden then,” she said finally, her voice airy, so different from what he was used to. She seemed almost drunk on the proximity, too.
He told himself to pull away. Dismiss her. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to give up even a centimeter of ground.
“Then aye, Katherine,” he said, the space between them buzzing with all the little things about her he’d forced himself to ignore. The way her eyebrows arched. The stubborn fullness of her cheeks. The curved, dainty tip of her nose. “It is forbidden if I say it is.”
Without realizing it, he’d drifted closer to her.
It felt inevitable. They were almost touching now.
One deep breath would be enough to close the gap between them.
She had to tilt her head back to continue looking at him, the difference in their heights more pronounced now than it had ever been.
It would be so easy to reach out and touch her.
He was sure that her skin would be softer than the finest silk. His fingertips ached to find out. The only thing that stopped him was the crumbling pillar holding up the last of his restraint.
The rise and fall of her chest stopped abruptly after a beat. It was only then that he saw just how near his fingertips were to her breasts. There was hardly any space there, and it felt as if the air crackled and arced between their bodies. He may have even grazed them without realizing it.
Abruptly, Liam stepped back, putting distance between them.
He cleared his throat, fighting the childish urge to stare at the wall instead of the flustered woman in front of him.
He was ashamed of himself for letting the two of them get so close to one another but not ashamed of the attraction he felt for her.
She took a shaky breath, her blush so evident that he could see it even in the dim light.
Ach, she looks so sinfully enticin’.
“Return to yer chambers, Katherine,” he rumbled, sharp and dangerous. He was a predator, his attention enough to put anyone vulnerable into harm’s way. The frustration at himself, at the situation, morphed into fury. “Immediately. Daenae make me repeat meself.”
He turned around before she had the chance to say anything else.
Deciding he’d need the long walk to clear his head, he set off for the roundabout route to his study.
As soon as he didn’t feel as if he were seconds away from breaking the vow he’d made to himself after his first wife’s death, he’d get to work.
There were several things that he’d put off in favor of squaring away the details of their handfasting.
He refused to consider why he’d been so quick to sort their union. If pressed, he’d cite his grandmother’s health. That was surely the reason.