Chapter 50
As Phoebe traversed the entire luxurious south wing of Garraidh expressing gratitude to her wedding guests staying at the castle, nausea gurgled in her belly and a tight pain stabbed her chest. Could they tell her smile wasn’t real?
Her disastrous wedding night replayed in the back of her mind, making her muscles stiffer than when she’d left the bed this morning after a night of troubled sleeplessness.
If someone could die of mortification, agony and regret she would have long since been buried.
The agonizing pain, shock, and sympathy on his beautiful face from when she’d yelled get off burrowed into her soul with the force of a hundred iron spikes skewering her, over and over again.
Had he left the marriage bedchamber to avoid her?
After speaking to the MacLean’s guests, Phoebe spoke to her family before they left. She had to assuage a worried mother and a hovering father that the wedding night was successful. “I am perfectly hale, there is nothing to worry about,” she said to her parents.
She had been hurt at their inflexibility when the scandal regarding the supposed kiss first happened. But she realized they were constrained, the same as everyone else. They too had to follow propriety.
“Even though custom dictated you and Slade had to marry, and you are now a wife, I will forever remain your father. You can come to me for anything, always,” her father said.
And her mother had tears in her eyes as she fiercely hugged Phoebe goodbye. “Oh, my dearest, I will miss you terribly, please promise me you will come home for a visit as often as possible.”
Phoebe had to swallow back the thick emotion in her throat as she hugged her father. Deep in her bones she understood her parents loved her, the best they knew how.
No longer would she live with her mother, father and Egan at Eileanach, Garraidh was her new home now. The thought filled her with sadness. What type of home would she build together with Slade when her mortifying behavior hadn’t even allowed for consummation of the marriage?
After her parents, Egan enveloped her in a soft bear hug. She was still irritated at his barbaric behavior at the Black Hog’s, although it had lost all of its fire. But being overbearing and highhanded was the way Egan showed he cared.
“I trust Slade with my life. He will make a fiercely protective husband for you, dearest sister. It’s there in his eyes.
He loves you. But if he ever makes you cry, or hurts you in any way, you only have to say the word, and I will take immense pleasure in flattening him into shape on your behalf,” Egan said.
Phoebe chuckled, instantly forgiving him for Black Hog’s. “I am sure that will not be necessary, but I love you for saying it.”
As Phoebe watched her family leave in a Dunbar coach escorted by twenty retainers on horseback, her chest squeezed partly from love, but partly from regret.
Was not telling them what Ross had done to her seven years ago protecting them from the redcoats should her family retaliate?
Or was it born of her own selfish need or perhaps fear, that it might tarnish their love for her.
After Egan and her parents left, she had to pacify an overly concerned Aunt Penelope who was fearful there could be only one reason Phoebe and Slade got married so hastily.
“Only the most scandalous marriages take place with such haste, without even reading the banns. Such a shocking disregard for custom could only mean one thing, my dear,” Aunt Penelope said, her face unbending and her brows arching in obvious scorn.
“Rest assured aunt, I am not with child. Slade and I are just terribly eager to begin our new life together, with the full support of our families,” Phoebe said. She smiled so sweetly at her aunt, her face hurt.
Her aunt looked convinced by the end of their conversation. And Phoebe had to marvel at how good a liar she’d become after training with the Movement.
Then it was time to bid dear Lucia and Breena adieu because they were heading to Eileanach, Breena to be with Egan and Lucia to be with Peter, who was pitching custom made muskets to her father and Egan.
“Your solicitous advice on what to expect in the marriage bed was very useful,” Phoebe said to Breena and Lucia, hoping they couldn’t tell she was lying.
Their unfiltered talk on lovemaking in preparation for the bedding had gone to the wayside.
But she wasn’t sure she believed their tales of pleasure.
“I knew it! You and the colonel were fated to be together. The way his smoldering gaze follows you, and the way he chivalrously rescued your reputation after Black Hog’s is proof, he loves you,” Lucia said.
Lucia had become more than just a chaperone and well-to-do wife who was overly concerned with fashion. She had become a cherished friend.
“I’m happy the wedding night was a success,” Breena said, towards the end of the conversation.
Although Breena sent her a second glance before they left for the Hanbury conveyance, as if she wasn’t entirely convinced with Phoebe’s story. What was it Falcon had said? A lie is nothing but the truth in disguise.
The rest of the day in the south wing passed in a blurry haze with thoughts of Slade squeezing her chest every few minutes, leaving her entire body in a bundle of nerves.
The south wing of Garraidh Castle was elaborate and busy.
It contained the chapel and a complete set of residences for the laird, his extended family, guests, and their servants.
As she made her way back to the quieter north wing, she wondered why Slade had chosen it for their residence.
It had its own library, solar, kitchen, great hall, garderobe and a skeleton staff of servants, including Aila, who’d come with Phoebe from Eileanach.
Though it wasn’t as elaborately furnished as the south wing, Phoebe herself would take quiet and peaceful over elaborate and busy, any day.