Chapter 18
The following three days were spent seeing Raphael as little as possible.
He would usually be late for dinner and early for breakfast, so Keira had very quickly learned his schedule, avoiding him as much as she could.
She simply couldn’t face him after what had happened, especially not knowing where they stood and what it all meant.
During these tumultuous times, she found surprising solace in spending time with his mother instead. Finding each other alone after Violet’s sudden departure, the two women surprisingly turned to each other.
Little by little, they realized that they had certain things in common, and although Keira was certain that Raphael’s mother still held some reservations regarding the real reason behind Violet’s departure, she was a true lady, and true ladies always made their guests feel welcome.
That morning, she strolled through the manicured pathways, her steps guided by unspoken intuition. The sunlight played a gentle game of hide and seek with the foliage, casting a dappled pattern on the ground as if inviting her to unravel her own thoughts in this verdant sanctuary.
There, amidst the natural splendor, Elspeth, Raphael’s mother, awaited her. The elegance of her posture and the kindness in her eyes immediately put Keira at ease. They exchanged greetings, and Keira felt an unspoken understanding, a kinship that made her want to share her heart.
“This is the most beautiful place in the entire castle,” Elspeth revealed as they strolled through the garden together, the petals and leaves bearing witness to their conversation.
Keira made sure not to ask the woman anything regarding her son, although her tongue burned to ask those questions. Still, she wanted to remain polite and courteous. If the woman wanted to share something with her, she would gladly listen.
For the past three days, their conversations had mostly revolved around the flowers, books they had both read, and it seemed they shared reading interests. They had spoken about art, travels, faraway lands, adventures, as well as the serenity of a cup of tea in the garden on a sunny afternoon.
The truth was, Keira had grown to care about this woman in such a short time as she had slowly gotten to know her.
She felt that Elspeth somehow sensed, as mothers always did, that there was something more between her and her son, and with Violet present, she had reacted in a way that was to be expected.
Now, with Violet gone, something Keira still could not understand, as she had not spoken to Raphael and she dared not ask Elspeth, things were different. They were pleasant. They were calm. And she found herself wishing that the two weeks would not expire quickly.
As it turned out, this was the day that Elspeth decided to open up about her son, a topic that so easily segued from the conversation regarding the castle’s garden.
“We used to work in the garden together, me son and I,” Elspeth revealed, then she looked at her hands.
“But these old hands arenae what they used to be anymore, and me son is too busy with his duties as a laird. Fortunately, we managed to find a good man to tend to the garden now that we dinnae have so much time for it. I remember those leisurely afternoons in the garden with such fondness.”
“I can only imagine how wonderful it must have been for you two to spend that time together.” Keira smiled, her heart filled with warmth. “I just can’t imagine Raphael tending to flowers. It just doesn’t seem like him.”
Elspeth nodded. “Since he became a laird, he had to give up many a thing he enjoys. It is simply how these things go, me dear. But Raphael… he is a remarkable man,” she said, her eyes reflecting a mother’s pride. “It is just that he bears burdens, hidden beneath his composed exterior.”
Elspeth paused for a moment, but Keira could sense that she wanted to continue, so she allowed her to do so in her own time.
The two ladies continued to walk languidly, enjoying the fragrances around them, the splendid beauty of nature.
“Ye ken, Raphael has always been a thoughtful son,” Elspeth continued, lowering herself to smell a red rose. A pleased smile appeared on her lips. “Even as a child, he would lose himself in books, dreamin’ of adventures beyond our lands. He still carries that dreamer’s heart within him.”
“I’ve noticed it.” Keira smiled back at her. “I cannot imagine what he must have been like as a little boy. And still carrying it inside of him… It is beautiful to see that part of him alive.”
She had to admit that she had seen glimpses of this adventurous Raphael, and she had loved every moment of it.
“But it comes at a cost,” Elspeth confessed. “He has faced trials, perhaps more than I would wish upon anyone. The weight of our family’s legacy rests on his shoulders, and sometimes, I fear it’s too much for him.” The concern in her eyes was evident.
Keira felt a pang of empathy for the struggles that lay beneath Raphael’s calm facade. “I can imagine the burden he carries.”
“He bears it well, though,” Elspeth continued. “Yet, I hope for him to find happiness, to be freed from the shadows of the past.”
“You mean his late wife?” Keira dared to ask.
The moment Elspeth heard that question, she stopped and looked directly at Keira, who stammered, realizing that she had crossed the line.
“Oh, I am sorry… I shouldn’t pry. It is none of my business.”
Elspeth sighed, a heavy smile on her face, but it was hiding deep sorrow that would need healing. “Everyone knows the story, lass. I dinnae suppose he could keep it a secret even if he wanted to. Eleanor died, the poor thing, while she was with child. Fell down the stairs.
At first, we all thought it was an accident, but Raphael refused to believe it. Later, they found evidence that there really was someone in the castle that night. Oh, it still makes me shiver to think of it, that we all could have been killed.”
“Goodness!” Keira gasped, pressing her hand to her lips. “Who was it?”
“I dinnae ken,” Elspeth said simply, almost as if she had lost the ability to speak. Or she was simply mentally exhausted from this story, which was what Keira believed.
It was a difficult thing to talk about, even after some time. It was true that some wounds never healed.
That was yet another reason why Keira felt she had to talk to him.
There were so many questions left unanswered, so many loose ends untied.
When she finally faced him, she wanted to know all the questions, and she wanted to demand all the answers.
Not only that, but she wanted to know all the answers he would demand of her, which she did not have now. She did not have a single one.
“That is why I was so happy when Violet’s parents suggested for them to marry,” Elspeth admitted as the two ladies continued to stroll.
It was easier to talk about these things while in motion, Keira realized. When standing or sitting, there was nothing to do but focus on the heaviness and difficulty of the topic at hand. Walking required focus on something else as well.
“But I suppose that has been thrown into the wind as well.” Elspeth sighed.
Keira felt sympathy for this woman because all she wanted was for her son to be happy. There was nothing else a mother would want for her child.
“Do you think that Violet would have made him happy?” Keira dared to ask.
For a moment, she felt generous enough to leave this place if Elspeth truly believed that Raphael and Violet were meant for each other.
“I cannae ken that, lass,” Elspeth confessed.
“No one can. But he’s been alone for far too long.
It isnae right for a young man to live his life alone, or for a young woman.
People should have their other half.” She paused for a moment, then she turned to Keira.
“I do believe if Violet was Raphael’s other half, she would be here.
But instead… ye are here.” She smiled at her.
Keira couldn’t help but smile back. She had no idea what these words meant. Right now, that didn’t matter.
“Is everything ready for the cèilidh?” Keira asked, feeling a need for a less strenuous topic of conversation.
“I do believe so.” Elspeth nodded, her face cheering up at the notion. “In fact, I do believe that—” She paused, noticing that the butler was walking towards them.
Keira turned around so that, now, both women were facing the man who was walking hastily as if he were late. Upon his arrival, Keira noticed that his countenance was perturbed.
“Milady,” he addressed Elspeth, “there is an English couple at the door insistin’ on seein’ the laird, but he is nowhere to be found.”
“An English couple?” Elspeth sounded shocked. “All the way out here? Why, they must be lost.”
Keira couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling as she stood there, listening to their conversation.
Who could this couple be, ending up in the Scottish Highlands exactly where she was?
Could it be peers from the ton, perhaps Joan’s relatives that got lost?
Would it be anyone who would recognize her, and tell her parents upon their return?
Dread settled deep inside her, and she found herself unable to move.
“And Raphael isnae here, ye say?” Elspeth continued, bringing Keira back to the present moment. “Well then, I suppose I shall see them. Take them to the drawin’ room, and I will be there shortly.”
Keira’s thoughts swirled as she contemplated her next move.
Should she ask to join Elspeth in hopes that it was an entirely different couple altogether, a couple who had nothing to do with her parents?
Should she remain hidden and hope they would eventually leave, whoever they are?
She desperately needed advice, and she cracked her fingers silently, wondering what to do.
“Aye, Milady.” The butler turned around and left, and Elspeth immediately noticed Keira’s unease.
“Is everythin’ all right, Keira?” Elspeth asked, her gentle voice cutting through the soft chirping of the birds from a nearby tree.
“Yes, quite so.” Keira smiled, albeit a little nervously, something that Elspeth’s keen eyes did not fail to notice.
“Are ye worried about somethin’?”
“No, no,” Keira assured her. “Why would I be?”
She felt horrible for lying to this lovely woman, but she had no other choice. How on earth was she to admit that she had been lying to her own family, keeping them in the belief that she had been staying with her friend Joan all this time?
How was she to reveal that she had agreed to come with Raphael, a complete stranger, and spend a fortnight with him, promising unmentionable things on both ends?
Her thoughts were a whirlwind of worry and anxiety, trying to decipher the puzzle that seemed to be growing increasingly complex.
“Why dinnae ye come back inside with me so we can see what this couple wants from Raphael,” Elspeth suggested. “And then we can find that lad, who I swear sometimes gets lost and refuses to allow himself to be found.”
Keira knew what that felt like, for she wanted to do exactly that—get lost and never be found.
“All right,” Keira could only agree. She had no plausible reason to deny her host’s request, so she followed Elspeth back inside the castle and to the drawing room.
Keira and Elspeth approached the drawing room, a sense of trepidation lingering in the air. Keira’s pulse quickened with every step, her mind racing with thoughts of what awaited her. She had been so careful in orchestrating this plan…
Don’t worry. This is an English couple that has nothing to do with you, and this is just a silly coincidence. You’ll laugh about it within minutes.
She tried to reassure herself, but that wasn’t as easy as she had thought it would be. She couldn’t shake that gnawing fear that her carefully constructed lie might crumble, and she would be left to pick up the broken pieces of her life, which would, after this, never be the same again.
As they reached the drawing room, the door opened, revealing that the couple had everything to do with her, after all.
“Keira!” her mother exclaimed, an entire world of shock, surprise, and anguish in just that one word.