Chapter 20
Twenty
SARAH
Before I left for the meeting with my agent, Theo announced we would be going to a club that evening. We were both more the pub type, but when I told Theo I’d only ever been to a nightclub once, in Inverness, he’d decided I needed to experience a proper club.
“I’m not taking you to some celeb spot like Cirque Le Soir either,” Theo said with obvious distaste. “We’ll go somewhere I think you might actually like.”
My meeting with Liz went well—in person, she was hyperintelligent and forthright, but warm too. She’d informed me we had three more foreign language deals on the table, which took the series to thirty-three countries. I still couldn’t wrap my head around that.
My excitement about the evening ahead escalated into nervousness when I walked into Theo’s flat.
He was already dressed, looking incredibly sexy in an expensive, fitted three-piece suit.
While he always dressed well, I’d never seen him in a suit.
I crossed the room to smooth my hands over his chest.
“You look handsome.” I smiled up at him.
However, he stared blankly down at me and replied, “Thanks. Why don’t you get ready? I’m sure one of the dresses you bought yesterday will suffice.”
He didn’t ask me about the meeting, which was unusual in itself, but he also hadn’t reacted to me touching him, and Theo was surprisingly tactile and affectionate.
“Is everything all right?”
“Fine. I thought we’d eat first and then start at a bar before I take you to a club.”
Feeling a decided chill and distance from him, my stomach knotted. “Are you sure everything’s all right?”
“Fine. I just don’t want to miss our reservations.”
Letting his strange behavior go, I disappeared into the bedroom to change, hoping his mood would lift once I was ready.
I’d bought two cocktail dresses on our shopping spree.
One was black and the other a green that closely matched my eyes.
Deciding I wanted to blend a wee bit for my first London club experience, I chose the black.
It was a simple silk chiffon dress with thin straps and a deep V neckline.
It clung to my curves without being too tight and ended just above the knee.
Theo had sworn it straddled that fine line between sexy and classy.
I paired the dress with the Jimmy Choo sandals I’d treated myself to.
They were just as simple as the dress with a thin black suede strap over the toe and around the ankle.
At first, I’d thought it ridiculous to spend that kind of money on such a basic design, but then I’d walked in them and couldn’t believe how comfortable they were.
Quickly creating a beachy wave with my hair straighteners, I left my hair down and applied eye makeup and lip gloss. Looking at myself in the mirror, I smiled, feeling sexy and grown-up outside of the bedroom for the first time in a long time.
That pleasure was dimmed, however, by Theo’s response when he saw me. “You look beautiful,” he opined in a robotic tone that killed the compliment.
Confused, I dazedly let him help me into my coat and guide me out of the flat. He didn’t take my hand or touch my lower back like usual.
He didn’t touch me at all.
Tension thickened between us once we grabbed a cab. By the time we reached the restaurant, I wanted to yell or shake him or get him to do anything but sit with that bored expression.
I wouldn’t ask him if I’d done anything wrong because I couldn’t imagine that I had. Truthfully, I’d spent every day until the age of thirteen walking on eggshells with my mum and her boyfriends, asking her constantly if I’d done something wrong.
I would never go back there.
Instead, I fell into a sullen mood.
He brought me to a fancy restaurant in an area called Bishopsgate. The restaurant was in a tower with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. We could see the Gherkin from it.
The food was delicious, but I wasn’t that hungry. However, my mood seemed to draw Theo from the metaphorical arse he’d shoved his head up and he attempted conversation over dinner, asking about my meeting. Slowly, the tension relaxed between us, but I could still tell something was bothering him.
A few hours later, we walked about a minute from the restaurant to a hotel next door.
Confused, I asked Theo where he was taking me, and he said there was a bar in the hotel that did great cocktails.
That he’d been a few times with cast and crew, and it wasn’t an overly trendy or A-list celeb spot.
He thought we should stop there first before we hit the club.
The bar looked like it should be for VIPs.
It was spacious with polished concrete flooring and a large bar in the center with plenty of bar stool seating.
Along the room’s edges were curved, plush booths around oval wooden tables.
In symmetrical lines across the middle of the room was a mixture of seating.
Some low benches and modern comfy chairs between gold oval tables, while others were trendy bistro tables with funky, weirdly shaped chairs.
The lighting was low and atmospheric and the music playing was popular chart hits.
Theo explained there was a smaller whisky bar at the back as we strolled through the space toward the bar. I didn’t know if it was because it was still fairly early, but it wasn’t crowded, though most of the seats were taken.
I ordered a mojito while Theo ordered a whisky sour.
Leaning against the bar top while we sipped at our cocktails, I people-watched while I tried not to fixate on Theo.
Though he was trying a little harder, it was the fact that he needed to try that bothered me.
Interactions between us were usually effortless.
I wanted to ask him again if he was all right, but my stubborn pride forced me not to chase him for an answer.
Theo seemed happy to let me observe the room rather than engage in conversation with him.
On my second mojito, a couple started dancing to a Lana Del Rey song. I felt a pang of something in my chest. Maybe something a bit like longing as I watched them sway together, smiling into each other’s eyes, uncaring that no one else was dancing.
I wondered if the song had some meaning for them.
But when the song changed to Fleurie’s “Love U Already,” they didn’t sit down, and another couple filled the empty space beside them to slow dance.
“Well, I’ve never seen that happen in here before,” Theo drawled, throwing back the last of his drink.
At his dry tone, I asked, “Do you like to dance?”
“Not particularly.”
Disappointment flashed through me, but I turned away to watch the couples again so he wouldn’t see.
“Do you?”
I shrugged, still not looking at him. “I suppose. Though …” My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I’ve never danced with a man before.”
When he didn’t say anything, I wished I hadn’t admitted it.
But then Theo reached over to take my glass and placed it on the bar. I frowned at him until he held out his palm.
My stomach fluttered in realization.
Warmth filled the wee ache in my chest, and I took his hand. Without speaking, he curled my fingers tightly in his and led me to where the couples were dancing. With grace and ease, like he’d done it a million times, he pulled me into his arms and slowly began to sway to the music.
Nervous and unsure at first, it took me a few seconds to find rhythm with him. Relaxing, temporarily happy, and appreciative he’d do this for me, I rested my cheek on his chest and melted as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Maybe I could get used to it,” he whispered in my ear, and I smiled, those butterflies in my belly flapping their wings.
It was such a perfect moment, and I knew I’d remember it for the rest of my life.
When the song ended, replaced by a more upbeat Tom Grennan track, I lifted my head and smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
Something finally softened in his expression. “Thank you.”
“Cavendish?”
Theo jerked at the voice, and I turned with him to find a familiar good-looking guy approaching us. “Scott.” Theo nodded.
“It’s been a while.” The dark-haired man slapped Theo’s biceps before glancing at me and then taking a second glance. “Uh …” He shot me a smile, then turned back to Theo. “Haven’t seen you at the Roebuck.”
“It was becoming infiltrated.”
Scott chuckled. “By A-listers, you mean? You do know you’re in that category?”
Theo raised an eyebrow. “I think not. How are you, old boy?”
“Good, good. I got a recurring part on The Beat. Film it here, get to stay home, all’s good. How are you?”
“Fine. Writing.”
“I hope you’ll look me up for whatever it is you’ve got cooking.” He grinned cheekily and then turned to me, gaze … interested. “Hi, I’m Scott Holland.” He held out his hand and I suddenly recognized him. Scott was an English actor who’d starred in King’s Valley and a British soap before that.
Surprised he’d noticed me after years of invisibility in Ardnoch, it took me a second to shake his hand. My cheeks pinkened. “Sarah. N-nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Scott held my hand a little longer than appropriate before turning to Theo. “Alice and Brent are here with some friends. Come have a drink with us.”
I thought Theo would say no since we were technically on a date, but he surprised me by nodding and following Scott across the bar to a larger booth at the back.
Theo seemed to know a few of the people already and Scott introduced me to the group, but my heart pounded and I could barely hear over my nerves.
I disliked how nervous I got meeting large groups of new people, but I decided if I was going to work on a film set with Theo, I needed to get over my old insecurities.
Theo slid into the booth next to a pretty redhead who seemed to know him.
I took the seat next to his and Scott quickly sat on my other side.
A waiter came over to take more drink orders and as Theo engaged in conversation with the redhead, smirking at something she whispered in his ear, I decided I needed another mojito.
“So, Sarah,” Scott leaned in a smidge too close to ask in my ear, “what do you do and how do you know Theo?”
“I’m a writer.” I wasn’t quite ready to out myself to the world yet, so that’s all I said. “You were in King’s Valley.”
He smiled, pleased. Scott was very good-looking but honestly, he did nothing for me. I was afraid no one else but Theo could now. “I was. So, a writer? Like a screenwriter?”
“Perhaps,” I hedged.
His grin widened. “A woman of mystery. I love it. Is that how you know Theo?”
“Aye.” It wasn’t a lie.
“And I detect a bit of an accent. Are you Scottish?”
I nodded.
“My mother is Scottish. We used to spend all our summers in Oban visiting my grandparents. I love Scotland. I hope to own a second home there one day.”
“Do you still visit often?”
For the next very long twenty minutes or so, I managed to keep Scott talking about himself, all the while aware that Theo was next to me chatting and laughing with the redhead. When I glanced over, she was shoving him playfully and he was rolling his eyes with that teasing smile of his.
My stomach dropped.
He was flirting with her.
By my fourth mojito, I was struggling to stay focused on Scott who, for some reason, did not leave my side.
I felt sick. I didn’t know what had happened today or why Theo was acting so strangely, but I’d thought our dance had broken that tension.
Now he was flirting with some other woman in front of me.
I wanted to leave.
What I wanted to do was cry, but I wouldn’t give the bugger the satisfaction.
“I need to use the restroom.” I cut Scott off midstream about the new role he was playing in a long-standing UK crime drama. “Will you excuse me?”
“Oh. Of course.” He shimmied out of the booth to let me pass and I hurried on shaking legs toward the restroom.
A few minutes later I stood at the sink, staring at my flushed cheeks in the mirror. Maybe I should just leave.
I … I didn’t deserve to be treated like this. I knew we hadn’t discussed what we were to each other, but it had been pretty clear after Jared showed up that this was more than just a fling.
So what the hell was Theo up to?
Deciding I wouldn’t continue to put myself through this, I pulled open the restroom door, determined to tell Theo I wanted to leave. But as I walked out, I almost slammed into his broad chest.
He stared down at me blandly, and I wanted to scream at him to wipe that protective mask off his face and just be real with me.
“Are you all right?”
“I—”
“Scott rather fancies you,” Theo cut me off. He said it like it meant nothing to him that his friend was attracted to me.
“Oh.” I didn’t know how else I was supposed to respond.
“He asked me if we were exclusive or if you’d be interested in him. I told him the latter.”
Pain lanced across my chest.
Theo shrugged, but I noticed the telltale flexing of his clenched jaw before he forced himself to relax. “You should experience other men, Sarah. Grab life by the balls, so to speak.”
“There you are!”
I flinched at the female voice seconds before the redhead sidled up to Theo, pressing her breasts into his arm. “I wondered where you’d gone to. Come.” She flicked me a dismissive look. “You owe me a drink.”
“Quite right, love, so I do.” Theo ignored me, turning to her and wrapping his arm around her, hand on her hip as they walked away.
Tears threatened, but I forced them back. It was painful.
Everything … everything hurt.
I was an idiot.
Jared … Jared had warned me. When someone is terrified of caring for you … you put your guard up. Not down.
And with all his issues and trauma, Theo Cavendish was utterly terrified of me.
That didn’t make this okay.
He didn’t get to treat me like this.
I’d warned him.
Fury cut through my pain. I’d warned him that if he told me to go again, I’d leave.
Notching my chin higher, like I didn’t have a damn care in the world, I strode toward the bar, past it, heading toward the exit. I’d almost made it when a hand wrapped around my biceps.
Stupid relief flared through me. Until I turned to find Scott.
He searched my face. “Are you all right? Are you leaving?”
My eyes flicked over his shoulder where Theo was in the booth, laughing with the redhead and the rest of the group.
I think I hated him then.
I looked back at Scott. “I’m just … not feeling this place.”
“Yeah, this place is kind of over. Would you like some company?”
And maybe because I was just petty enough to do it, I nodded and let him take my hand. Without looking back, I exited the bar with Scott, leaving Theo behind.