Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
SARAH
There were monitors and tubes attached to Theo, all of it scary, except for the one that beeped in time with his heartbeat.
I focused on that and that his hand felt warm in mine as I hunched over his bedside in a private room in the intensive care ward. When I’d used the restroom earlier, I’d seen inside the room opposite his and the woman was hooked up to so many machines, including a ventilator.
Theo didn’t need a ventilator.
He was incredibly lucky after throwing himself at a knife-wielding murderer. And by lucky, I mean he hadn’t died of the stab wound, even though Quinn Gray had hit a major artery.
“No vital organs,” the surgeon assured me. “And we’ve repaired the damaged artery. We’ll need to monitor your husband. Only time will tell whether the hemorrhaging caused damage to the muscles and nerves.”
After the police left us at the hospital, I’d lied and told the nurse I was Theo’s wife so they would keep me updated. They wanted ID. But then a man I didn’t recognize was there and said he was Theo’s brother.
Sebastian.
For some reason, he corroborated my lie.
Those long hours waiting while Theo was in surgery were interrupted by a phone call to Jared I barely remembered making.
I’d tried to calm him, but I was pretty certain he was on his way to London.
Then DCI English and DI Hatlock returned.
They needed a statement about what happened at the Lute.
Sebastian, this stranger related to Theo, stayed with me while I relayed the story like a robot.
I felt like I was outside of my body, watching down as I told the harrowing story of fighting off a serial killer and having the man I love stabbed by the bastard.
“You fought bravely,” Hatlock said, squeezing my arm. “You gave us time to get there. Be proud, Sarah.”
Proud? I didn’t feel pride. I felt like I was sitting on the lid of a box inside me, wrestling to keep it sealed. To keep a panicked rage monster inside from bursting out and taking me over.
“I never told him I loved him,” I’d confessed dazedly to his brother as we sat on the hard chairs in the waiting room. “He said it so many times and I was afraid to say it back and then I wasn’t. And now it’s too late.”
“It’s not too late,” this stranger who looked a little like Theo but more like Stephen had insisted.
“Why are you here?”
“I have a friend in the police department who alerted me to what happened. And because he’s my brother.”
The relief was almost excruciating when the surgeon appeared to update us. Theo was alive. Only recovery would reveal if there was any long-term damage.
I didn’t care.
I knew Theo would care.
But I was with him. I wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what.
Sebastian forced me to drink water and eat a snack, and then he was with me when they let us in to see Theo. He’d rubbed a soothing hand on my back as I cried with relief over Theo’s sleeping body.
He would take a while to wake up from anesthesia.
Finally, Sebastian spoke again. “I need to go home and update my wife. And change. Would you like me to bring anything with me when I return?”
I looked up from staring at Theo’s handsome face and blinked, trying to process his words. “I’m okay.”
Sebastian nodded and moved toward the door. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Wait.” I turned to meet his questioning gaze. “Thank you for being here.”
He appeared uncomfortable. “Of course.”
“But you were wrong. When you came to see Theo before Christmas. You were wrong. I’m not some innocent waif he was using.
I’m a grown woman with a successful career …
and he loves me. I think he loves me more than he’s ever loved anyone.
At least that’s how he makes me feel.” A tear slipped down my cheek.
“It was the last thing he said after he saved my life last night.”
Remorse tightened Sebastian’s features. “I know I was wrong, Sarah. It isn’t easy for me to apologize. I’m afraid it’s rather a flaw in the Cavendish genes. However, I shall apologize to my brother as soon as he’s awake.”
“He wants nothing to do with your father.”
“I heard.”
“You won’t badger him to change his mind.” I lifted my chin stubbornly. “I won’t allow it.”
A slight smile curled the corner of his mouth. “I’ve made peace with the fact that the relationship between my father and Theo is beyond repair. But it gave me hope to hear that he’d forgiven Father. Perhaps he … perhaps he can forgive me for not being a better brother.”
“I know he can.”
His jaw tightened as if fighting off emotion. Then with an abrupt nod, he slipped from the room.
I didn’t know how much time passed as I sat there, waiting for Theo to wake up. His nurse, a warm, middle-aged man named Fred, came in to check on us.
My eyelids grew heavy, and I rested my head on the bed.
It was uncomfortable and I knew my neck would pay for it in the morning, but I’d just add it to the aches and pains I was beginning to feel after the fight in the alley.
My cheek was scratched and bruised from being smashed against the wall.
Muscles burned and felt heavy from overuse. But I was alive, and so was Theo.
And I just had to wait for him to wake up so I could tell him I loved him.
I was running but going nowhere. Screaming but no sound came out. I didn’t know what I was running from or screaming about, but I knew it was evil. I knew I was terrified.
Running and silently screaming through a pitch-black hallway that seemed to stretch on for—
“Sarah,” a voice called through the darkness.
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me.
“Sarah.”
My eyes flew open and I blinked against the brightness of the room.
I groaned as pain burned up my neck. Lifting my head, I startled at the sight of Aria, North, and Jared. Everything rushed back and I cried out, my head whipping toward Theo as fire flared up my neck with whiplash. I winced, disappointment settling over me at finding Theo’s eyes still closed.
I looked back at my cousin and North and Aria.
Jared pushed past them to pull me gently from the chair. He hugged me gingerly. “Oh God, Sarah, I’m so glad you’re all right. Fuck.”
I squeezed him hard, inhaling the familiar scent of grass and earth and spice. “I’m okay,” I promised. “Theo got to me in time.”
Jared pulled back to cup my face in his hands. “I suppose this means I have to like the bastard now?”
I laughed, but it quickly turned into a sob. Jared cursed under his breath and embraced me as I cried quietly against his shoulder. Aria and North were anxious to take their turns hugging me.
“How’s he doing?” North asked, concern creasing his brow as he studied Theo.
“The knife hit an artery. They repaired it. The surgeon said they’d have to run some tests when he wakes up to make sure there’s no nerve damage.”
North scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck.”
I watched as Aria wrapped a comforting arm around him. “He’ll be fine. Cavendish is made of stern stuff.”
“I’m never going to let him live this down,” North joked, a sheen of emotion in his eyes. “I always knew the prick was a hero underneath all his stiff upper lip shite.”
I chuckled as I leaned into Jared. “Hopefully, he’ll wake up soon so he can contest that himself. We know he will. All evidence to the contrary.”
“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Aria asked.
Shaking my head, I winced as pain scored up my neck again. “Just a few aches and bruises.”
Her gaze flicked down my body and she blanched. Looking down, I saw the dark stains across my blue shirt. On close inspection, it was obviously blood. “Theo’s,” I explained hoarsely. “He lost a lot … he needed a transfusion.”
“Would you like me to get you a change of clothing and bring them back?” Aria offered.
“You don’t have to …”
“Please. Give me something to do. You know I need to have something to do.”
“Um …” I glanced around, looking for the purse Liz had brought out to me as they were loading Theo into the ambulance. I snatched it up and pulled out the keys to Theo’s apartment. “Theo’s flat is in Mayfair.” I held out the keys to Aria. “I have clothes in the wardrobe. I’ll text you the address.”
“I’ve been there,” North assured me as he guided Aria toward the door. “We’ll be back soon.”
“Thank you.”
Once they left, Jared rubbed my shoulder. “How are you really?”
I sighed heavily. “I don’t know how to feel. It was like some awful nightmare and it’s like I’m here, but I’m not.”
He nodded in understanding. “It’s the shock and the exhaustion. Why don’t I grab you a coffee?”
A coffee sounded pretty good. “I think there’s a machine on this ward somewhere.”
Jared squeezed my shoulder before he left the room to hunt down some caffeine.
“I need all the caffeine,” I told Theo quietly as I sat back down beside him and took his hand. “But mostly I just need you to wake up.”
As if on cue, Theo’s eyelashes fluttered, and his fingers twitched in mine.
Excitement thrummed through me. “Theo? Theo, it’s me.”
Like weights were holding them down, it took a few more seconds for Theo to force his eyes open.
He flinched against the light, blinking a few times as his gaze moved down his body before coming to me.
Recognition filled his eyes. “Sarah? Sarah … what …?” His voice was raspy and dry. “Fuck, I hurt.”
I laughed, tears streaming down my face.
He groaned. “Are you laughing at my pain, sadistic woman?”
“No, I’m just relieved you’re awake.”
Suddenly, Theo’s eyes widened. “Sarah … Gray …oh, fuck.”
“It’s okay.” I pressed a kiss to his hand, stroking a soothing palm over his chest. “You’re okay. I’m going to let the nurse know you’re awake. But first, I can’t let another second pass without telling you that I love you. I am so in love with you, Theo Cavendish.”
He cracked a weary smile, still handsome, even with dark circles under his eyes and a pale complexion. “Well then … I think that was worth getting stabbed for.”
It was such a Theo retort, my laughter spilled from my lips even as tears slipped down my cheeks.
His expression turned strained. “Come here, my love. I’m all right. Come here.”
Gently, I kissed him and then rested my head on his chest. “You’re s-stuck w-with m-me now, you y-you realize,” I stuttered through my tears.
“Good.” Theo caressed my hair. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. Probably because I love you rather a lot.”
I smiled against his chest, holding him a little tighter. “I love you rather a lot too.”