Chapter 20 #2
“Why—” Allegra slammed her mouth shut and sat down on the chair.
“Why what?”
“Why are you the person she called?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes as I stared down at her. I wondered if she was put out about this. “We’re friends.”
“Oh.”
“Just friends,” I offered. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay.” She wouldn’t look at me. Instead, she picked up her sketch pad and proceeded to ignore me.
Unease churned in my gut.
Fuck.
This was all I needed.
Sorcha’s place was wrecked. Whoever had broken in had locked Brechin in the bathroom (thankfully hadn’t harmed the wee man), and not only stolen anything of any value but the arseholes had trashed the place.
The police had already been and gone by the time I arrived, and I found Sorcha crying on her sofa surrounded by the mess.
“I’m sorry, Sorch.” I sat down beside her, clapping an upset Brechin with one hand and putting my other arm around Sorcha. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Is it?” Sorcha wiped at her nose as she looked at me. Her pupils were huge with shock. “Jared, I live alone. On a teacher’s salary. I can’t afford this emotionally or financially.”
“You have insurance, though, right?”
Her jaw slackened. “Insurance?”
“Insurance.” I rubbed soothing circles on her back.
Some of her tension eased. “Jared, insurance. Of course, I have insurance. I completely forgot about that. Oh, that’s something.” She leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “I’m going to be too scared to go to sleep tonight.”
“Is someone coming to fix the door?” The doorjamb had been busted open.
“Later this afternoon.” She lifted her head, expression pleading. “But maybe you could stay tonight.”
I stiffened. “You know that can’t happen. Why don’t you stay with Donna?” I referred to one of her closest friends.
Hurt flashed across her face. “I keep forgetting you’re married. I just … I miss you.”
Discomfort shifted through me as I removed my hand from her back and stood.
Sorcha grimaced at the sudden physical distance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird and awkward. It’s just this …” She gestured to the flat. “Most of the time I’m pretty happy on my own. Truly. But then something like this happens, and it makes me feel lonely.”
Shit. Compassion filled me, but I forced myself not to embrace her. I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. “I get it. I’m sorry.”
She studied me thoughtfully. “Do you really love her, then?”
I lowered my gaze, staring at Brechin who was giving me the same big puppy dog eyes as his owner. “Sorcha …”
“I’m happy for you. She must be really understanding, letting you come out here to help. Letting you talk to me.”
“Letting me?” I frowned. “You and I are just friends now. Allegra knows that.”
Sorcha scoffed. “Jared, we’re friends who used to fuck. If your wife says she’s okay with our friendship, she’s absolutely lying.”
“No. Allegra’s not like that.” Especially because our marriage wasn’t real.
“Oh. So if you found out she was still talking every week to a guy she used to fuck on the regular, you’d be fine with that?”
The thought of Allegra with any man filled me with a fury I didn’t want to examine too closely.
“I’ll take that murderous expression as a no.” Sorcha chuckled humorlessly and stood. “I’m sorry for dragging you down here, Jar. I’m sorry for holding out hope that your marriage would fall apart, and you and I could go back to what we had.”
My eyebrows rose in surprise at that confession.
“It’s clear that you and she are solid, and I shouldn’t be calling a married man to come and bloody rescue me.” Sorcha scrubbed a hand down her face. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorch, it’s fine.”
“It’s not.” Her expression was apologetic. “Go home to your wife, Jared. I’ll call Donna.”
I shifted uneasily. “I can wait for her to arrive.”
“No.” She gave me a sad smile. “You’re not mine to rely on. You never really were, were you?”
Guilt shafted through me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We can’t help who we love.”
I felt heavy with the exchange after I said goodbye to her and Brechin and got back in my car.
Instead of leaving immediately, I decided I’d wait until I saw Donna pull up in her Toyota.
When I searched for my phone to text Allegra I’d be back soon, I discovered I’d left the bloody thing on the kitchen table when I’d snatched up my car keys.
While I was sure Sorcha was wrong about Allegra, considering our marriage was fake, I couldn’t help but think how my wife wouldn’t meet my eyes before I left.
Just seconds before that, she’d been touching me, offering me solace and fierce loyalty.
The combination was a massive turn-on. But she’d switched it off, turned from me at the mention of Sorcha.
Fuck.
Maybe Sorch was right.
I was relieved on multiple levels when Donna showed up. Relieved for Sorcha that she had company and relieved that I could get back to Allegra before any of this looked suspicious. Not that I technically owed her anything. But I did. I’d promised her fidelity for two months.
I needed her to trust that I’d keep my word.
I just needed her to trust me.