Chapter 1 #2
Both of my uncles—my dad’s eldest brother Lachlan and younger brother Brodan—had made names for themselves in Hollywood.
Uncle Brodan had been an acclaimed actor until he’d returned home to Ardnoch to marry his childhood sweetheart, my aunt Monroe.
Uncle Lachlan had returned long before that to turn our family’s ancestral castle and estate into a members-only club for film and TV professionals.
Now he and Uncle Brodan also ran a whisky distillery. With their fame and money and coastal smoky whisky that was actually bloody good, the brand was a success. It had taken a few years, but Ardnoch Whisky was becoming a household name. It was even more popular in Japan than it was here.
“Do you think so?”
“I do.”
“I suppose the allure of Ardnoch is strong,” I said without thinking.
“I can only hope so,” my dad answered. At my silence, he leaned forward. “Lewis.”
His tone forced me to look at him.
“For the longest time after your mother passed away, I was afraid to live for anything but you and Eilidh. When Regan came into our lives, she terrified me. And I pushed her away.”
I frowned because I was seven when Regan first started working as our nanny. To me, it seemed like my parents quickly fell in love, got married, and she became my mum. “I didn’t know that.”
He nodded. “You’ve probably forgotten. But I was unkind to Regan. You even gave me a telling off for pushing her away.”
I didn’t remember that. There were some things about that time I’d never forget, but I didn’t remember that.
“I’m ashamed of how I treated your mum.”
That didn’t seem right at all. My dad treated Mum like she walked on water.
“But fear can do strange things to us. It was only when I realized that I couldn’t live without her that I decided to fight my fears and win her back.”
“What fears?”
“Of being hurt again. Of losing her. She was younger, and I was afraid that one day she’d wake up and want something different.”
“But you loved her enough to fight your fears?”
“I did.” Dad gave me a sympathetic smile. “I think I knew when you were fifteen that what you felt for Callie was deeper than puppy love.”
An emotional sting burned across my chest. “Dad—”
“And it fucking kills me that after all this time, you’re still in pain.” His voice was gruff now. “But, Lewis, you cannot live your life making choices because you’re afraid of that pain.”
His words ricocheted through me, freezing me to the spot.
“You will regret it, son, and I don’t want any of my children to live with regrets.” He cupped my nape, giving it a firm squeeze, and suddenly I was a boy all over again. “If you want to come home, you come home … don’t let anything or anyone stop you. You get me?”
I nodded, too overcome with emotion to speak.
Dad pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Proud of you, Lew.”
“Proud of you,” I forced out.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
I nodded again as he released me and strode away to say good night to Eilidh. For a moment, I watched my sister and father embrace.
Maybe Dad was right. Maybe I was letting fear stop me from being back with my family.
Turning to stare out at the city again, I contemplated what life in Ardnoch would look like now, if I was remembering it through rose-tinted glasses and I’d miss the hustle and bustle of the city.
Or if that longing for a quieter pace of life, for golden beaches and rugged mountains and wild weather, was more than nostalgia.
For years, I’d longed for something beyond Ardnoch, and it seemed impossible and almost cruel that I could miss it as much as I did. Considering it was my desire for something more that had lost me Callie.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and swiped the screen. Tapping the social media icon, I opened the app and searched her name.
Her feed was a collection of photos of her, the baked goods she’d created, France, and the people she’d met there.
One of her latest photos glared up at me. Like the masochist I was, I tapped on it for the hundredth time.
Callie’s beautiful face was wreathed in smiles as she beamed into the camera while he pressed a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth. The caption said: “Another day in Paris with him.” The lips and heart emojis followed.
She’d tagged the Frenchman in a clutter of photos throughout her feed for the past year. His name was Gabriel Dumont. The year before him, there had been Remy. She’d dated that Frenchman for a few months. Both were good-looking bastards, and I hated them with the fire of a thousand suns.
A part of me hated Callie too.
Because she said she’d never leave Ardnoch.
But there she was in Paris at a baking and pastry school. Dating French men. I clicked on another photo of them. Callie had clearly taken the selfie of them kissing beneath the Eiffel Tower. My gut twisted.
“What are you doing?”
I jumped, almost dropping my phone. Glaring at my sister, I ignored her knowing look. “Where is your harem of men?”
Eilidh nudged me. “They’re boring. All they do is talk about how much money they want to earn, what car they want to buy, what TV shows they’ve booked.”
“You invited them.”
“No, I invited my castmates, who invited everyone else in London.” She leaned her elbows against the balcony, facing me. “You still look at her social media?”
Glowering, I stared straight ahead. “You’re too nosy for your own good.”
“Maybe. But I’m worried my big brother is pining his life away.”
I’d already had this discussion with our dad and I wasn’t in the mood to have it again. “Eils—”
“It’s been seven years, Lew.”
“So everyone keeps telling me.”
“Well, I’m not telling you to move on.”
That drew my gaze to hers.
Eilidh stared back, expression fierce. “I’m telling you to go find her.”
My heart rate increased at the thought. “What?”
“Go find Callie. See if what you had is still there. Because if what you feel for her isn’t true love, big brother, I’m not sure I know what is.”
A sudden deluge of grief crashed down on me. “It’s not. I was just … tonight made me nostalgic. Anyway, even if I did feel that way, and I’m not saying I do, she’s moved on. With a Frenchman.”
“Gabriel.”
I raised an eyebrow.
Eilidh licked her lips nervously. “Callie and I still talk. We’re still friends.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I … I never know if I should mention her or not.”
I smiled wryly. “Hasn’t stopped you before.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You being friends with Callie doesn’t hurt me.
” Though it filled me with a million questions.
How was she? How had the last seven years of her life been?
Did she even want to live in Ardnoch anymore?
Why did she leave when she said she never wanted to?
Why … why did she leave when she couldn’t leave for me?
“Well … her boyfriend’s name is Gabriel. He’s a police officer. They’ve been dating for nine months and—”
“Eilidh, I don’t want to know about him.” I cut her off. “It’s none of my business.”
My sister fell silent, and I refused to look at her. Sometimes all she had to do was stare into my eyes and she’d know exactly how I was feeling.
“Come to my wrap party next week.”
I was unsurprised by her abrupt subject change.
The show Eilidh was on had finished filming its third season.
She played a pessimistic, world-weary young Londoner who couldn’t be further from the real Eilidh if she tried.
To be honest, I was blown away by her performance.
She’d been given some tough scenes to depict, and I was in awe of her talent.
Eilidh started showing an interest in acting at the end of primary school.
She’d been accepted into Glasgow’s Royal Conservatoire junior summer school throughout her high career.
She’d wanted to attend full time, but our parents weren’t happy with her living alone in Glasgow.
Eilidh had gotten accepted into the conservatoire as a full-time student at seventeen.
Between that and our uncles’ connections, she’d booked several jobs throughout as a teenager and during her time as a university student.
Then she landed this part three years ago, and her life changed dramatically.
While it had never been strange for me that people recognized Lachlan and Brodan when we were out and about, it was weird when people recognized Eilidh and acted like they knew her.
She had nearly five million followers on social media.
“What?” she asked, frowning.
“Nothing.”
“So, is that a no to my wrap party?”
I didn’t particularly feel like going. I’d been to the last one and felt like a fish out of water. “I’ll be there. Just let me know where and when.”
“Thanks, big brother.” She pushed away from the balcony to hug me.
I wrapped my arms around her, and the years seemed to melt away and she was my wee sister who needed a hug every day from everyone she loved.
Eilidh had always craved affection. Sometimes I longed for that simpler time.
Tenderness filled me, and I kissed the top of her head.
“Your audience awaits,” I teased.
Eilidh pulled back. Her eyes were the exact shade as mine, and I could still see the concern in them. “Love you, Lew.”
“Love you.” I shoved her gently toward the crowd. “Now, go enjoy.”
“You too.” She grabbed my arm, pulling me with her. “This is your graduation party, and I won’t let you mope the night away.”
I grumbled under my breath, but I didn’t really mean it. In fact, I grabbed a beer as soon as we hit the bar. Because I was a broody bastard tonight. It was probably graduation stirring up all those old ghosts. However, I was done with them.
I wanted to drown the memories that had risen up to plague me.