Chapter 6
Six
CALLIE
SEVEN YEARS AGO
My stomach was in knots as I watched Lewis chat with Tyra West. Carianne’s cousin had come up for the weekend from Glasgow, and Lewis had been paying her more attention than I felt comfortable with.
I wasn’t a jealous girl. Our friendship group included other girls, and Lewis talked to them all the time.
Of course that didn’t bother me. But between Lewis avoiding me and now monopolizing Tyra’s attention at the impromptu party at Fyfe’s … I was getting seriously pissed off.
And seriously worried.
For the last few weeks, Lewis had been so distant. At first, I thought he was stressed about school and final exams so that’s why he always had an excuse not to spend so much time with me. But then he’d taken to being evasive when I attempted to talk about our future.
“You all right?” Carianne suddenly appeared in front of me with a fresh bottle of beer.
“Fine. Thanks.” I took the beer and gulped a huge swig.
Carianne looked over at Lewis standing by the fireplace with Tyra. She was a pretty brunette only a year younger than us. I scowled as she laughed at something Lewis said and playfully shoved him. “Need me to bitch-slap my cousin?”
“She’s flirting with him, right?”
My friend grimaced. “Looks it. Also looks like Lewis isn’t doing much to stop it. What’s going on there, then?”
Fear thickened my throat, and I took another swallow of beer to stem the emotion bubbling within me. “I think he wants to break up.”
Carianne’s eyes widened. “No way.”
I nodded, trying to feel numb about it. I couldn’t. I was terrified of losing my best friend, and I was raging at him for making me feel like this when I never thought he’d ever make me feel uncertain of him. “I am invisible at the moment.”
“How do you mean?”
“He avoids me. When we do spend time together, he’s quiet and distant, like he’s somewhere else or wants to be somewhere else.
” I looked back at him, grinning down at something Tyra was saying.
As I turned away, hurt, Fyfe caught my expression.
He was chatting up Emma Andrews, who was in our year.
Whatever he saw on my face made him glare over at Lewis.
I yanked my attention away and stared into the crowd of friends packed into the kitchen. “Maybe I should find someone to flirt with.”
“That’s the hurt talking. Tell Lewis he’s being a prick. Or I will.”
“He shouldn’t need to be told.” I threw back the rest of the beer and slammed the empty down on the kitchen table.
Carianne followed me out into the narrow hallway. “Where are you going?”
“Home. I’m not sticking around to watch my so-called boyfriend flirt with someone else.” I stormed out the front door before she could say a word.
Fury and hurt lengthened my strides, so I was halfway down the street before I heard him shout my name.
I ignored him.
Fuck him!
Then his footsteps grew faster and louder until he was at my side, grabbing my arm to draw me around. “Callie, what the hell?”
I yanked free of Lewis’s hold. “Piss off. I’m going home.”
“I was only talking to her.” He reached for me again, but I shoved him away. Lewis’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard. “Callie, I was just talking.”
“Aye? So … who told you I left then?”
He blanched. “Carianne. Fyfe said something and when I went to look for you, Carianne said you’d left. I wasn’t flirting.”
I searched his face, not recognizing the boy in front of me.
The last few weeks had been the worst in ages as he grew more and more distant.
I felt like I was waiting for the ax to fall.
“You know, I wish you’d just get it over with.
You’re hurting me over and over again this way.
” My lips trembled, but I was determined not to cry. “It’s sadistic.”
Lewis took hold of my arms and this time held tight as he pulled me to him. “What are you talking about?”
“Breaking up with me.”
He had the audacity to look confused and shocked by the suggestion. “Because I was talking to another girl?”
“Don’t.” I shoved him away, and he stumbled back.
“Callie—”
“You have been cold and distant to me for weeks. And then Carianne’s cousin shows up from Glasgow, and you’re all over her like a bad rash. Who the hell are you?” I yelled tearfully.
“I wasn’t all over her. I didn’t mean to be cold and distant. I’ve been stressed.” He reached for me again.
“Lewis, I swear to God, if you touch me right now, I will deck you.”
Something like panic flickered in his eyes. “Callie, I swear I wasn’t flirting with her. I was asking about Glasgow and what it was like living there.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I was interested. I’ve lived in a tiny village my whole life.”
“She was flirting with you.”
“I wasn’t flirting back.”
Anger was still hot in my blood. “I’m going home.”
“Callie, don’t go home like this. Please.”
I cut him a dirty look. “I don’t know. I think I’ll give you the cold shoulder for a few weeks and then let Ollie drool all over me in front of you.” I referred to a guy in our year who’d asked me out three times, even though he knew I was dating Lewis. He drove Lewis nuts. “See how you like it.”
“If you let Ollie come anywhere near you, I’ll kill him,” Lewis said calmly, but I saw the fury flash in his eyes.
“Why would you care?”
He scoffed. “Really, Callie?”
“It doesn’t feel like you care very much lately, Lewis. Do you …” I looked away, frantically blinking back tears. “Do you not love me anymore?”
Suddenly, I was yanked against Lewis’s body, his mouth on mine, his kisses bruising and desperate. I didn’t kiss him back. I was too confused.
He pulled away, eyes bright. “Of course I love you. I love you so much.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “Shit, Callie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
Hearing the sincerity in his voice, I nodded. “Okay.”
“Aye?”
I nodded again but stepped out of his hold. “I’m going home. We’ll talk later.”
“Don’t.” He tugged on my hand. “Please, let’s go back to the annex. Don’t go home like this.”
“No, I want to go home.” It had been an awful few weeks and he couldn’t erase it with an I love you.
Worry furrowed Lewis’s brow. “Then let me walk you home.”
That I could do. I nodded and turned to walk in the direction of the bungalow.
Lewis fell into step beside me and took my hand in his. I let him. But I didn’t speak.
When we reached the bungalow, he stopped and kissed me again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I can’t stand it.” He kissed me again, and it was needy, yearning. “I love you so much.”
A little of my hurt and anger dissipated. “I love you too.”
Lewis groaned and wrapped his arms around me so my cheek rested against his chest. “I’m going to make it up to you, all right? I’ll never make you feel that way again. I’m an arsehole. I don’t deserve you. I’m so sorry.”
I locked my arms around his waist and shoved the fear I’d been feeling down deep. Lewis was here, he loved me, he’d merely been stressed. We were okay. “I forgive you.”
His relief was obvious. “Please come back to the annex with me.”
A flicker of movement at the front window told me it was too late. “Dad just saw us. I better go in.”
“Come to mine tomorrow?” Lewis pleaded.
“Okay.”
He kissed me again, hard, deep, apparently uncaring if my dad was watching. “I love you,” he repeated.
“Love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’m going home.” He added, “Not going back to the party.”
Where Tyra was.
Relieved, I smiled and gave him a wee wave.
As I walked into the house, I shoved my hurt and doubts way down deep, so I wouldn’t have to deal with them. So they wouldn’t get in the way of what I had with Lewis. He was stressed. That was it. Nothing else.
We were fine.
We were going to be fine.