Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
FYFE
Jared and Allegra McCulloch were the farmers who owned the land my home was built on.
Since marrying, Allegra had encouraged Jared to be more entrepreneurial.
They started with rental properties—glamping pods—and then branched out to the small development of architect-designed homes, including the one I lived in.
Then they moved onto a few larger rental properties and now were renting out small cabins as office space. All while still running a working farm.
My home office was a no-go at the moment.
It wasn’t the sound of Millie that distracted me, it was my need to make sure she was all right any time she made a sound.
I required an office away from home, and the McCullochs’ small row of office pods were the perfect solution.
The house was a mere ten minutes away in case Eilidh needed me.
This morning’s handover had been awkward as fuck. Eilidh made it clear she still wasn’t ready to talk about last night’s discussion, so I gave her that. For now.
I had a shit ton of work on my plate to distract me.
Eilidh had provided the dodgy creeps file, as she called it, and I’d forwarded it to a few employees whom I knew were good at research.
It was a little outside their purview, but I was paying them overtime to get results quickly.
One of the people looking at the files was Evan Willis.
He was a security guard at Ardnoch Estate and we got to talking because he had serious computer skills.
First, I’d asked him if he’d like to take on some freelance stuff for my company, and then through that, I’d discovered Evan ran a tae kwon do class in Thurso and was looking for another instructor.
He had been taking over my classes for me the past couple of weeks until I could figure out childcare for Millie.
On top of that, I had my regular clients to deal with and the new client who wanted their retailer system gone over with a fine-toothed comb.
All the while I was researching nanny services (surprise, surprise, there weren’t many options this far north), concluding that Millie would have to go into daycare.
I called Regan, but it went to voicemail, so I left a message, asking if she had a space available to take Millie four days a week.
Vision blurred from looking at the screen for hours, I sat back and pushed my glasses up to rub my eyes. I alternated between the glasses and my contacts, especially on days I knew I’d be doing a lot of screen time. It had nothing to do with Eilidh telling me she liked my glasses.
Nothing whatsoever.
Standing to stretch, I picked up my phone and typed out a text to Eilidh, checking in to make sure Millie was good, and then saw Lewis had texted me five minutes ago to say he was on his way.
We were having lunch in my office pod because I needed to talk to him.
My phone buzzed in my hand. It was Eilidh.
All good. Taking her for a stroll in the village. OK?
I sighed at her abruptness and texted back that it was fine.
Two seconds later, I heard a familiar engine. A large window faced out toward the fields, but the pod didn’t have any windows elsewhere. Just a solid door entrance off the small driveway.
I opened the door just as Lewis swung a leg off his Harley-Davidson Fat Boy. He rode it any chance he could, considering he usually had to forsake the bike to drive his daughter in his SUV.
It was so bloody surreal to me that we both had baby daughters now.
That was not something I’d ever seen coming.
In a way, it was kind of all right, though, sharing that experience with my best mate.
Lewis pulled off his helmet and then reached into the saddle compartment and lifted out a cardboard box. “Lunch from Flora’s,” he announced. “Cakes from Callie.”
My stomach grumbled at the thought. I rarely had treats because I believed my body was like a car and it needed the correct fuel to work.
Even as exhausted as I was by broken sleep, I still worked out.
I had a home gym in my third bedroom, and I’d set Millie up in her bouncy chair as she watched on curiously while I exercised.
Sometimes she’d get agitated and bored so I’d have to stop and start, but I was determined not to lose that part of my routine.
And treats … they were something I only indulged in now and then.
“I shouldn’t,” I replied. “But I’m going to.” Callie’s desserts were to die for.
Lewis grinned, bounding up the steps and into the office pod. He looked around. The desk sat under the large picture window. There were a few shelves. Tons of plugs for electricals, USB ports, and a leather sofa on the back wall with a coffee table. “Hey, this is pretty decent.”
“Aye, it’s good, eh.” I reached for the food. “I’m fucking starving.”
We settled on the couch with the generous sandwiches and soup. Lewis had even brought coffee from Flora’s.
Swallowing a bite of his chicken club, Lewis asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
Even though I knew from our previous conversation that Lewis would be cool, I still felt a surge of nerves. I met his questioning gaze. “I want to be with Eilidh.”
Lewis raised an eyebrow and then sank back against the sofa, food forgotten. “Have you told Eilidh this?”
I nodded.
“And?”
“It didn’t go down very well.”
“Maybe because the timing is suspicious.” Lewis took another bite with a casual shrug.
Okay, I knew he’d be cool, but he was being very blasé about the whole thing.
Too blasé. I waited for him to continue.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Millie comes along, your life totally changes, and Eilidh has stepped up to support you the most. Now you want to be with her? I could see how she might not believe you wanted her but a live-in nanny.”
I scowled. “That’s exactly what she fucking said and it pissed me off then too.”
Her brother smirked. “Like I said, your timing is shit.”
“You don’t actually believe that’s what I think?”
“No. Look, I’ve known you forever and you don’t latch on to people for the wrong reasons.” His expression turned wry. “Plus apparently, I’ve been in denial about you and Eilidh for a long time. Just ask Callie.”
“How so?”
“Callie says she’s known how you felt about Eilidh since our wedding. She suspected before then, but she knew it for certain that night.”
“Did she see us kiss?”
He choked on a swig of coffee, his eyes flashing. “You kissed my sister at my wedding?”
Well, fuck.
“It … it just … aye.” I threw my hands up.
“I kissed Eilidh at your wedding. And I kissed her months before that in London. Apparently, you were not alone in your denial!” I stood up, agitated as I began to pace.
“Of course, it looks dodgy as fuck now that I can admit I want her. But I’ve wanted her for a long time …
Definitely since you came home to Ardnoch and she and I started talking again.
If I’m honest with myself, maybe even before then.
I just didn’t think I could have her. That I deserved someone like Eilidh.
That I could keep someone like Eilidh interested.
” There. I admitted it. Beneath the confidence I’d shrugged on like armor as a teen, I still felt like that geeky wee kid whose mother abandoned him.
“I can’t believe you kissed my wee sister at my wedding,” Lewis grumbled.
“Oh, would you get over it?” I ran a hand through my hair with an exasperated sigh. If I had my way, I’d be doing far worse than kissing her. Filthy, dirty, grown-up things that would make my best friend’s head explode.
Lewis aggressively bit off another piece of sandwich, eyeing me as if he wished he were taking a lump out of me.
Sitting back down, I turned to him. “You know you’re my family. That’s why I want to be straight with you about this. I intend to pursue Eilidh. Romantically.”
“And if I say I’m not actually comfortable anymore with the thought of you and Eilidh together?”
A sharp pain pierced between my sternum.
“Ah, Lew, I hope that isn’t true. I … you’re like a brother to me, but …
I’ve been so blind to how much I need Eilidh.
The happiest time in my life were the months she and I started talking again.
We talked every day. I looked forward to waking up because I knew there would be a text from her and that I’d get to talk to her on the phone or video chat with her in the evening.
When that stopped … I buried how much it hurt not having her in my life.
It’s not just that I want Eilidh. I need her. She’s become essential.”
“So you’re going to go after her with or without my blessing?”
I nodded grimly. “I’m sorry.”
Lewis smacked me on my back. Hard. “Don’t be. That is the exact right answer.”
I gaped at him. He had me in knots for nothing? Thinking I might lose my best mate over this. As a test? “You are an absolute fucker.”
He grinned, his eyes flaring comically. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”