Chapter 1. Alice #2
Tom lowered his bottle and stared at them aghast. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. We have each other,” Blue said with his chin lifted. Ocean gazed up at him, her eyes soft. He kissed her forehead. “There’ll be three of us soon.”
At first, Alice didn’t understand. Then Ocean’s hand dropped to her belly, revealing a round bump that had been hidden under her loose shirt.
“You’re pregnant?” Alice said, surprised. The girl looked so young.
Ocean flushed, and Blue frowned at Alice.
Tom grabbed Alice’s hand under the table and squeezed. “Congratulations—babies are a blessing. We haven’t been so lucky ourselves.”
The couple turned their gazes to Alice, who now wanted to cry, but she clung to Tom’s hand and lifted the corners of her mouth into what she hoped resembled a smile.
“How far along are you?”
“Maybe five months.” Ocean shrugged. Alice wanted to ask if Ocean had seen a doctor. How could she be so casual? Why was she hitchhiking when she was carrying a precious life inside her body? But none of it was her business. Alice sat frozen, anchored to her seat.
“We’ll get married this year,” Blue said, and Ocean smiled at him.
“That’s wonderful. We’ve been married sixteen years now,” Tom said. “I’m the football coach at our local high school, where Alice was a secretary. That’s how we met.”
“Football?” Blue looked confused. “Where you from?”
“Seattle. We’ve wanted to visit this beautiful country of yours for years.”
“Cool.” Blue took a drink of his soda.
“Where’s your site?” Tom said.
“We don’t have a tent, so we slept on the beach.”
“You weren’t cold?”
Blue shook his head. “We built a fire.”
Tom was about to say something else when the air filled with a loud rumbling as a group of bikers rode past. Their bikes were low to the ground with high handlebars.
The last rider gave them a hard look as he went by.
He had long greasy red hair, a scraggly beard that blew in the wind, and a bare chest under his leather vest. His gaze lingered on Alice and Ocean.
The bikers took the access road that led to the campsites near the river and the rumble of their engines faded.
Tom turned to the young couple. “Going to be loud at the river tonight.”
Ocean shot her boyfriend a worried look. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Alice couldn’t help noticing how his shoulders and arms had stiffened.
“Why don’t you eat dinner with us?” Tom said. This time it was Alice who tensed. She didn’t want to sit across from a pregnant woman. A pregnant teenager, who’d probably conceived in the back seat of a car. Alice despised her bitter thoughts, the sour taste of them.
Blue sat straighter. “We’ve got food.”
“Save yourself the trouble.” Tom was already moving toward the barbecue grill. “You can’t beat the taste of steak over charcoal briquettes.”
Blue and Ocean shared another look, then he said, “Sure. Thanks.”
“Wonderful!” Alice forced a smile and stood up. “I’ll make a salad.” She walked quickly to the RV, where she splashed water on her face, fixed her hair, and took a couple of breaths. Then she vigorously chopped vegetables and shucked corn until her emotions were in order.
They ate in the last of the sunlight, chatting about the Olympics. Alice shared how she’d stood in line for hours to pick up a schedule of events and an order form for their tickets, then they’d waited weeks to find out what events they’d secured before planning their trip.
“Queen Elizabeth will be at the opening ceremony,” Tom said. “It’s going to be quite a show.”
“Are you driving straight to Montreal?” Blue said.
“No, we want to spend some time in Banff National Park, then we’ll stop in Calgary, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba. When we get to Ontario, we’re going to rent a canoe and explore the lakes. Alice wants to hear the loons calling.” He smiled over at her.
“Don’t forget birch trees and touring a real maple syrup farm.”
Tom turned back to Blue and Ocean. “Do you have any suggestions?”
“We’ve never been past Vancouver,” Blue said with a shrug.
“Thank you for dinner.” Ocean wiped butter off her fingers with a napkin and patted her lips dry. “It was so good.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Alice stood and began to gather plates. “Anyone up for dessert? We have watermelon.”
“Thanks, but we should probably go,” Blue said. “We need to find a spot to sleep.”
“You could stay here. We have a spare tent, and with those bikers camping near the river, it might not be a safe place for…” Tom’s gaze shifted to Ocean.
Alice focused on the dirty plates she was collecting. She didn’t look at Tom.
“Maybe they’re right, babe,” Ocean said. She sounded nervous.
When Blue didn’t answer, Alice glanced up at his face. He was looking back and forth between Tom and Alice. She wondered why he was hesitating. Did he sense that she was upset?
“You’ll be more comfortable,” Tom said.
“Okay. If you don’t mind…”
“That’s settled then.” Alice carried the plates into the RV.
Tom and Alice lay together in bed. They’d played several games of Uno by lantern light with the couple.
Ocean had never played before, but she’d picked it up quickly, even if she couldn’t seem to bring herself to shout “Uno!” like the others and said it more like an apology.
Blue had no problem slapping down his cards.
During the night, Ocean had revealed she was nineteen and Blue was twenty-two, but Alice felt like Ocean seemed younger.
More innocent. Alice had made Jiffy Pop on the fire, and Ocean had nearly jumped out of her seat when the kernels began popping.
Then she’d watched with big eyes as the aluminum foil expanded into a silver dome.
“Did you believe their story?” Alice said. “That they’re just traveling?”
“Sure.” He adjusted his pillow. “Didn’t you?”
“They don’t seem prepared. They could be runaways.”
A soft shrug in the dark, the rustling of sheets. “They don’t look underage.”
“Their names are definitely made up.”
“No crime in that. They’re having fun.” She couldn’t miss the admiration in his voice and felt a stab of guilt. Maybe that was why he wanted to spend time with them. They made him feel young again. It had been the opposite for her. Thirty-six had suddenly felt like forty-six.
“They barely spoke about themselves.”
“Sounds like they had things rough at home. I don’t think there’s anything to be concerned about.” He stroked her arm. “Try to get some rest.”
His breath deepened as he relaxed. She willed herself to turn in his direction, to press her cheek against his bicep, but her bones were too weary. Her heart too heavy.
She used to find comfort in his solidness.
Tom wasn’t a tall man, but he was built stout, with wide shoulders and strong legs.
His black hair was thick and feathered back, his sideburns trimmed tight against his jaw.
He enjoyed food, beer, and laughter with friends.
He loved entertaining and they hosted Super Bowl parties every year.
More than once, she’d heard someone refer to him as a gentle giant.
She agreed, but she was jealous of how easily he could shrug off problems. How quickly he could make decisions without agonizing over every detail.
Sixteen years. It was a long time, and yet, the physical side of their marriage had never been a problem.
Until last year. There was the fracture, then the ever-widening crack until it was now this big gaping, silent thing between them.
He used to make small attempts, his hand linking with hers, his body rolling against her, his hand on her hip, his lips to her neck, but she couldn’t stop her muscles from stiffening, couldn’t make her body feel anything, and so he’d stopped.
Muffled music leaked through the RV walls, loud laughter, yelling.
The group by the river. She’d fretted when Tom said he wanted to bring his dad’s old handgun, but now she was glad for the protection.
Tom was making a soft snoring sound. She thought of the couple in the tent.
Were they asleep yet? Tomorrow she would be cheerful.
She would make them breakfast. Absently she ran her hands over her now-flat stomach, then yanked them away as though burned.
That night she dreamed of a small lifeless body being placed in her arms, swaddled in his blue knit blanket so snugly that she couldn’t see his face. Then the cedar coffin lowering into the ground. Dirt falling. She clawed and clawed at the earth, but she couldn’t bring him back.