Chapter 37. Jenny
JENNY
He’d never gripped her so hard, his fingers digging into her skin, and it was a relief when he let her go. She dropped onto the bed, and he flicked on the lamp. She held her hand up to shade her eyes from the sudden brightness. On the other bed, Alice had her eyes squeezed shut.
Simon stood in front of Jenny. “Were you going to turn me in?” His voice was a mixture of anger and hurt. “Were you calling the cops?”
“No!”
“Then why did you sneak away?” His hands were on his hips, the gun sticking out of his pocket, and for a horrible moment she wondered if he could ever shoot her.
She didn’t know what it felt like to have that cold metal up against her head.
She’d believed, even when he was threatening Alice, that he would never really do it. But maybe he would.
She didn’t know how to answer Simon. She looked up at him. Truth. Why should she be afraid? He had stopped listening to her, stopped hearing her. She frowned.
“I wanted to call the police so that they could find the others.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He looked so genuinely shocked that she felt a flash of rage. Did he think she was too stupid? Did he think she never had her own thoughts? She pushed down the anger, studied her hands. She didn’t want to yell or cry. She didn’t want those ugly feelings.
“Please stop shouting at me.”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. What’s the real problem here, Jenny? Is it because I messed with your pretend family?”
Her head snapped up to look at him, but she couldn’t find any words.
“You think I didn’t know?” He was still talking with that hurt, angry sound in his voice. “You think I don’t know that you wish Alice was your mom?”
Jenny’s face heated. She didn’t look over at the other woman.
“Tom’s just like your dad, right? You wanted your mom to marry someone like him. I get it, Jenny. I wish my dad was someone like that too.”
Her face was so, so hot now. She wanted to press the pillow over her ears.
“Stop,” she hissed, and for a moment he faltered, but then the angry look was back.
“You think Ruth is going to bake cookies for you and teach you how to collect eggs? You think she’ll thank you if you make that call?”
“They could die,” she said.
“We’re the ones who are going to die! The second they talk to Tom, every cop in the country is going to be looking for us. I shot a cop, Jenny!”
She was openly crying now, unable to stop the sobs that erupted one after another.
“I don’t want anyone to die!”
“Then trust me, okay? Trust me.” He dropped to his knees in front of her, kissing her stomach, her hands. “I can take care of us, but we have to trust each other.”
She nodded. His eyes were so desperate, his voice raw like he was trying not to cry too. She should have listened to him. She let Alice get inside her head and it had confused her.
“The call didn’t work. The operator couldn’t find the number for the Fernie police. I hung up right away.” She wanted to reassure him. It was only a small white lie.
Simon let out a big breath and sat back on his heels. “Okay, that’s good. The others are going to be fine. It’s only for a couple of days.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Alice spit out. “They don’t have water, food. Tom has a broken collarbone. They’re suffering.”
Jenny looked back and forth between Simon and Alice. Simon moved, getting something from the floor. His T-shirt. He strode over to Alice, and while she fought to push him away with her free hand, he covered her mouth with it, wrapping the shirt around her head and knotting it.
She glared up at him and made sounds through the fabric.
He came over to Jenny, his hair messy and his eyes red-rimmed. He gave Jenny a searching look, then cupped the side of her face. His thumb wiped the last of her tears away.
“I’m sorry, babe. I flipped out. I didn’t mean what I said. It just scared the shit out of me when I woke up and you weren’t beside me.”
“I’m sorry too.” She felt exhausted now. He was taking back his harsh words, but there had been truth to them. She’d felt it. She rested back on the pillows.
He stroked her hair, slow calming movements. “We’ll get a few hours’ sleep, then we’ll walk into town before the sun’s up. I’ll find a car.”
Alice was right again. Jenny couldn’t stop Simon. She’d had a chance, and she’d panicked. Maybe she should tell him that she wanted to take a bus or the train. No more stealing, but her eyelids were so heavy now. They could talk in the morning.
She woke to Simon’s lips brushing against her cheek, and when she opened her eyes, she didn’t see his handsome face, she saw him yelling those hateful things at her.
She saw the sneer in his lips when he had taunted her about wishing Alice was her mom.
She saw the heat in his eyes when he had talked about Tom, like he was jealous.
She rubbed at her eyes now, trying to clear the sleep, as though she could also wipe away the sting, but it was still there.
“Hey,” he whispered. “We slept in. It’s nine thirty.”
Jenny looked at the window. Sun was leaking in around the edges of the curtain, the fabric glowing a more vibrant orange.
“We’re not going to be able to make a move until it’s dark again,” Simon said. “You’ll have to pay for another night—and tell them we don’t want to be disturbed.”
Jenny sat up, yawned, and looked around. The room seemed larger in the daylight, but also shabbier, with faded patches on the carpet, scuffed furniture, and water rings on the night tables. Alice was awake in the other bed, watching them. She still had the shirt tied around her mouth.
Jenny got up and took it off.
Alice licked her lips, which looked dry and sore. Jenny got a glass of water from the bathroom and brought it over. She looked at Simon. “Can you untie her?”
He was watching her now, his eyes forming a question, and maybe he was beginning to understand that he wasn’t fully forgiven, because he got out of bed and untied Alice right away. Jenny handed her the water. Alice sat up and drank it all.
“I need to use the bathroom.”
Simon nodded, and Alice slid off the bed.
“When you book the room,” Simon said to Jenny, “ask if there’s a coffee shop or somewhere you can get us breakfast.”
“Okay.”
After Alice was finished in the bathroom, Jenny took a turn and changed out of her sleep clothes. She got money from Simon, who gave her a soft kiss, and pulled her in for a hug, but she had to force herself to return the embrace. Her arms felt heavy, grudging. She let go first.
She hung the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door, and made her way to the office, her steps slowing as she got closer.
What if the woman had more questions? She needn’t have worried.
It was a man behind the counter this time, with a comb-over, and a white button-down tucked into his beige slacks—pulled up so high it didn’t seem as though he had a waist at all.
She paid for another night and was relieved that he didn’t ask her a single question. Not where she was from, or where they were traveling. Not even if they were enjoying their stay.
He gave her directions to a coffee shop in a flat, bored-sounding voice that made Jenny think maybe he’d been asked the same thing a million times.
The morning had grown hotter, and she was sweating by the time she returned to the motel room, carrying a brown bag of pastries and a tray with steaming Styrofoam coffee cups.
Simon opened the door for her and helped with the coffee tray.
Alice was sitting with her back resting against her pillows. They’d been watching the TV.
“Nothing on the news yet, babe,” Simon said with a smile.
She tried to smile back, but she had seen the pain in Alice’s eyes and knew that she feared no news meant Tom hadn’t been found.
What if both cops were injured? They might still be waiting for help.
Then she thought about Ruth’s friend who’d stopped at the house.
Donna. One of the cops was her husband. She’d look for him when he was late.
They were probably at the hospital. It wasn’t on the news yet because they were in Alberta.
She felt a little better but was only able to eat her breakfast when the news program ended.
Mr. Dressup was on the TV now. She remembered watching the show with her dad and how he’d promised that one day they’d have a backyard.
He was going to build her a tree house like the one Casey and Finnegan lived in.
She wondered if she and Simon would ever have a house with a backyard.
The dream felt so far away. Impossible. Like living on the moon.
When they were finished eating, Simon gave her more money so she could buy them hair dye.
She’d seen a drugstore near the coffee shop.
She’d just left their teepee and was partway down the center road when a big maroon-colored car pulled into the parking lot and stopped at one of the teepees, same side as theirs.
A heavyset man wearing a brown-and-yellow Hawaiian shirt, a straw fedora, and sunglasses got out and moved around the back of his car.
When he lifted his suitcase out of the trunk, his gold watch flashed in the sun.
He slammed his trunk shut and turned around.
Now she could see a thick gold chain around his neck, and another on his wrist. She’d never seen a man wearing so much gold.
She wondered if it was fake. He saw Jenny and paused with a big smile.
“Where are you going, beautiful?”
She was going to keep walking and ignore him, but he took a few steps to the side, blocking her path. Even a few feet away, he smelled like gross musky cologne.
“You’re not going to talk to me? That’s not very friendly.”
She looked back at their teepee. There was a window on the side. Could Simon see her? She didn’t want to talk to this man, but she didn’t want to make him mad either.
“I’m going to the store.”
“Want a ride?”
“I can walk.”
“You sure? It’s hot as hell out here today.”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, you need anything, sweetheart, you let me know, I’ll be here for a couple of days. I’m a jewelry salesman, but you’re the prettiest thing I’ve seen all day.” He gave her a wink, reached into his wallet, and pulled out a business card.
“No, thank you.” She moved around him and carried on.
When she reached the road, she glanced over her shoulder. He was still standing by his car. He tipped his hat at her. Like he was some kind of gentleman? Not likely.
She snapped her head back around and picked up her pace.
At the drugstore, she found a baseball cap for Simon, scissors, fresh razors, bandages, and a headband for herself. She would look different with her bangs pulled back. She browsed the hair dyes and decided to go auburn this time. She picked the darkest brown, nearly black, for Simon.
For Alice she bought antiperspirant, a toothbrush, a T-shirt with a Canadian flag on it, and a package of cotton underwear. When she entered the motel driveway a while later carrying a brown paper bag, she was relieved that the man had disappeared into his teepee.
The little red Toyota truck with the homemade trailer was parked beside the office and two kids were playing nearby. The girl was in a sundress with a smocked halter top and wore her black hair in a ponytail with bangs. She was dragging a stuffed dog with a collar and leash.
“Come on, Rusty. Do you want to go for a walk?”
The boy, who looked a couple of years older, had a blond bowl-cut. He kicked at pebbles with the toe of his shoe. The girl spotted Jenny and froze, her cheeks turning pink.
“I like your dog,” Jenny said. “Rusty is a perfect name.”
The girl’s face broke into a wide grin. “It’s because he’s red and brown.” The boy threw his arm over her shoulder, giving her a squeeze, like he was reassuring his sister.
Jenny smiled back and continued her walk. She’d wanted a brother. She touched her belly. Maybe she and Simon would have another child together one day. It could be a boy.
Then she remembered the things he’d said, about her “pretend family,” and it hurt all over again.