25. Hyacinth
TWENTY-FIVE
HYACINTH
I can’t believe I ruined it.
Dinner was better, even if I have apparently forgotten how to make nice in public. The food was good, nobody was lurking in the shadows, and I’d asked Zane questions about his books and his hobbies and whatever it is people do in their lives when they aren’t working.
Mostly, I’d wanted to kneel at his feet and let him feed me, but it would have been too much trouble to deal with horrified restaurant staff.
Worse: I was afraid he’d reject me.
I don’t get scared.
I’m not fragile.
Or maybe I am, since I couldn’t handle something as silly as a make-believe escape room.
“I want to go to the riverfront,” I say before Zane can suggest something stupid like ending the date.
Zane looks at me.
I can’t read his expression, which makes my anxiety ratchet up.
“Is Lois going to make another attempt?” he asks after a moment. “I’d really rather not die tonight.”
She hasn’t messaged me at all since then.
I haven’t heard from anyone, and normally that would be a good sign. I should be glad the family isn’t bothering me.
I could have a hobby in all this free time.
“We’ll make sure to stick to open areas,” I say.
“Boss…” Stefan begins.
“I know, Stefan,” Zane says. “You don’t like it.” His eyes search mine. “Are you so sure your client isn’t going to be impatient enough to send someone else after me? I’m… extending a great deal of trust toward you, Hyacinth.”
“Every time I let you tie me up, I trusted you,” I point out. “If she’s around, I’ll know.”
Somehow.
Not really. But I need to believe that she won’t shoot if there’s a chance of hitting me.
She wouldn’t kill her own son, right?
Zane exhales slowly, but he nods. “Half an hour,” he concedes. “That shouldn’t give anyone enough time to trace us and get set up with anything. No one knows where we’re going.”
I don’t tell him about the tracker I still have attached to his car.
Nobody else has access to it, and I need to know where he is at all times.
That should have been my first sign that I wasn’t ever going to kill him. How many people did I stalk so extensively? Most of my targets die in the first week of me getting the assignment.
Forest hadn’t given me a real deadline, but that shouldn’t have mattered.
I press myself against Zane during the ride. He keeps his hand on the back of my neck, and it feels like a collar.
It’s easier to relax like this, when I don’t need to worry about escaping.
Fuck.
I should have played along. He’d wanted me to play along. But it was trivially easy, and I didn’t want to appear incompetent in front of Zane, either.
The thoughts swirl around in my mind until Stefan pulls the car to a halt. I don’t recognize the location, which is some small boardwalk well away from the tourist locations. The only building nearby is a boathouse on the water.
“This okay, Boss?” Stefan asks, getting out of the car to scan the area.
Zane glances around. “Yes,” he confirms. “Just for a little while.” He gets out of the car first, then offers his hand to me to help me out.
I should have gotten out first.
I’m really forgetting my job now—except my job isn’t to keep anyone safe. It’s to kill them.
I take his hand and let him guide me out. The boathouse has a single light to illuminate the boardwalk, with the moon illuminating the water.
“It’s cute,” I say, clutching Zane’s hand. “Very romantic.”
“It is,” he agrees. He leads me closer to the water, but he seems to be at a loss as to what to say once we reach the wooden pier.
I sit down, not caring that my skirt might get dirty, and rest my head against Zane’s thigh. He places his hand on the top of my head and pulls lightly on the hair.
“I’m sorry I’m a bad date,” I say. “I don’t do this a lot either. Or ever.”
He hums, not refuting my words. “I don’t either.” He sighs. “I’m sorry I got it so wrong, Sin.”
I laugh and turn my head to press a kiss against his thigh. “I suppose there’s no way you could have known that I’m an escape room expert.”
“I could’ve guessed,” Zane mutters, but he strokes my hair. “You get to pick next time.”
What would I even pick? Dinner was good.
I like this, simply being near him.
But I was the one insisting I wanted to go out and do things, yet now I realize I don’t know much outside of murder and sex.
“We could try a nightclub next time,” I suggest. “Avery’s club has an exclusive VIP section.”
Zane snorts. “I think I’ll pass on going straight into Cuore territory, surrounded by hundreds of strangers.”
“I don’t think anyone would kill you in the club!” I smile up at him. “Because that would be messy, and we wouldn’t do that to Avery. He has a reputation to maintain.”
“Jayce would also have my head,” he remarks. “Maybe we should go there instead.”
I press a nail into his calf.
I remember how close he and Jayce had been. Even on the riverboat, Zane had beelined directly to Jayce.
“Only if you want me to murder Jayce,” I mutter.
Zane arches a brow, twisting his fingers in my hair to urge me to look properly at him. “Why would you want to murder Jayce?”
“Because he keeps getting in your personal space?” I tug on the fabric of his trousers. “Do you know how much control it took not to kill him that first time at the club? If you hadn’t disappeared into the room with that biker…”
Ugh.
I’d almost forgotten about the biker.
“I hope your last fuck with him was terrible,” I say, somewhat mulishly.
“For one, you aren’t killing Jayce,” Zane replies in a tone that invites no arguments. “Secondly, I didn’t fuck Cole that night. Or even touch him.”
I go still. “What? What do you mean, you didn’t fuck him? I saw you enter the room together.”
I’d left almost immediately afterward to prepare my ambush on the biker.
I also hadn’t wanted to hear them fucking.
“No. You killed him for nothing.” Zane’s voice is as harsh as the fingers in my hair. “How could I fuck someone else when all I could think about was you?”
I swallow hard. For several long seconds, I don’t even remember how to breathe.
Then my lips widen into a smile that hurts my cheeks. “I ruined you for other people. You can’t ever go to anyone else anymore.”
Zane exhales slowly. “No. I can’t.”
I rub my cheek against his thigh. “Why were you fighting this, then? I couldn’t kill you. You couldn’t kill me. You can’t forget me. We’re…”
I want to say something trite like ‘we’re meant for each other,’ but I’d thought that about Keith, once.
It’s the kind of cutesy, romantic drivel I’d find in those movies Chrys watches.
It’s the kind of cutesy, romantic drivel I yearn for, apparently.
Except I wouldn’t let him go.
“I’ll kill anyone you touch,” I say earnestly. “Don’t dance with anyone else again. She’s lucky she still has all her fingers.”
“Jayce would kill me.” Zane releases his grasp on my hair, but only so he can start to run his fingers through the now-tangled strands. “Even if I was interested, I’m not stupid enough to date my friend’s sister.”
I shiver and lean into his touch.
I can’t remember Keith ever touching me like this.
It’s weak, and boring, and pointless. Subs exist to accept what Doms deliver. Only weak subs need this.
Small tingles of pleasure run across my scalp.
I don’t care if Stefan is lurking, watching us. Let him watch.
Let him know that Zane is mine.
Zane pulls his hand back, then sits down next to me. He wraps an arm around me. “Do you want to tell me what happened with Keith?”
I tense up. “No. I don’t want to talk about other people right now.” I clutch his shirt. “I want to be with you.” I lean in to mouth at his neck. “Want to fuck my face?”
“I want to sit here and watch the water with you.” Zane turns to face me, a small smirk on his lips. “I can fuck your face any time I want to. I don’t get time to do something like this very often.”
My mouth goes dry.
“We already learned I’m bad at…” I gesture vaguely. “I don’t make a good conversation partner.”
Funny that I was so confident while I was flirting with him, but now that I got the date I wanted, I feel like I’m locked in a dark room again.
Zane hums, and it’s his turn to fall silent. When he finally speaks again, his voice is carefully measured. “If I’m going to do this, I want a partner, Hyacinth. I don’t want a fuck buddy. That means having conversations. If we can’t talk, if we have nothing in common, this… isn’t going to work.”
A partner.
What does that mean?
I understand the concept in general. I know people find lovers and get married and enjoy each other’s company.
But I’ve never seen Mom with anyone, and Chrys never dates either.
Lionel apparently has somebody he likes right now, and Dante was keeping that young man chained up, but I don’t think they have partners either.
Keith has a partner now.
One he takes out to parties and shows off.
I look Zane in the eye. “We have a lot in common. We both like watching people bleed.” I grin when he rolls his eyes. “Should I read that book you liked? The historical one? I can give it a try.”
“I want to help you find your own interests and hobbies,” Zane replies. “You can start with that book if you want, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t find it interesting.” His smile fades. “But then, I can’t predict you at all.”
I rest my head against his shoulder. “I watch those competition shows because my sister likes them. When I’m winding down from a job, I watch porn. And if I’m bored of that, sometimes I watch, um…” I trail off, because it feels so stupid.
“What?” Zane prompts.
“Gardening videos?” I huff in embarrassment. “I’ve never done any of it. I’ve never owned a yard. But the videos are nice.”
“You could practice in my yard.” Zane shrugs. “I have some plants, and somehow they aren’t dead. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to plant something new out there.”
My mind reels at the offer.
That feels significant.
Like he’s inviting me to stay at his home.
“I could try,” I hedge. “I’d need to research the soil. And what plants grow best here. Do you have a favorite color? Any plants you like?”