Chapter 2 #2
“Good. I like it when you just submit to my whims,” Leland says as he gets back in the driver’s seat and pulls the car around behind the Chuck E.
Cheese before finding a parking spot. “You can’t take the blindfolds off or I’m taking you home and making you sit in front of The Fence while holding Blow-Up Rhonda. ”
That seems to pique Cam’s interest. “Waylon, I have to know. What is Blow-Up Rhonda?”
“Can I be adopted by someone else? Preferably the other people in the car? Please?” Waylon whines. “Leland, we can’t go into Chuck E. Cheese. It’s for little kids. What are we supposed to do? It’ll be so embarrassing… and I know that’s why you want it. You feast off the embarrassment of others.”
“You’re going to go in there and like it,” Leland threatens as he gets out of the van. He comes around and grabs Waylon’s arm and pulls him out of the vehicle before guiding Cam out as well.
“When you said we were playing video games, I assumed we’d be playing video games,” Cam says, laughing because it’s not his parents embarrassing the shit out of him.
“Dammit, I forgot your balloons,” Leland says. “We should go back. Waylon needs his unicorn balloon.”
“They’ll be fine without the balloons. I’m assuming we have a time slot that we don’t want to miss,” I tell him as he guides them inside. While I don’t exactly know what’s going on, I have a pretty good idea from the sign out front.
The man inside smiles at us and gestures for us to follow him like people bring in blindfolded teenagers every day.
“Stein family?” he asks.
“That’s us,” Leland says.
“I’m Ronny. I’m going to be your guide for today. Is everyone ready?”
“No?” Waylon asks.
The guy just laughs and waves us after him. “I promise it’s not too scary.”
“Everything Leland has us do is scary,” Waylon mumbles.
“Right this way,” he says, obviously having been told what Leland is up to or I’m sure he’d be questioning the abduction of blindfolded children.
Leland directs the teenagers into a room and whips the blindfolds off.
Waylon, expecting a big reveal of a Chuck E.
Cheese hell instead of a nondescript room surrounded by Leland’s strange friends and a random guy, looks even more nervous.
“Oh no,” he whispers. “I want to go back to Chuck E. Cheese. At least I know that’s safe and normal.”
“After you’ve filled out these forms, put these on,” Ronny says as he pulls out some tight black one-piece suits and starts handing them out to all of us. “Once you’re suited up, meet me through this door.”
“All of us?” I ask, noticing that there are six suits.
“Well, of course. I love the kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him have all the fun,” Leland replies, filling out the form before passing it off to Cassel.
“What are the forms for? I feel like if we have to sign our life away, this is going to be really dangerous,” Waylon says.
Cam is already suited up while Waylon stares at his suit like it might bite.
“Did you forget how to dress?” Leland asks.
“Ooh, Waylon, did Leland tell you about the time that he put Jackson in a full-body bulletproof suit?” Cassel asks.
“We don’t need to tell him about that,” Leland says.
“I mean… that’s why I’m hesitating too,” I comment as I hold my suit out before me and judge my ability to swim in it.
Leland gives me a reassuring pat. “Oh shush. There’s no water here.”
“Water? What happened?” Waylon asks Cassel.
“Once Jackson was all suited up, he could barely walk, and that’s when he got pushed into a pool and sank like a rock. Henry told me all about it and I was crying, I was laughing so hard.”
“I was not laughing,” I say as a suited Leland walks over to Waylon and picks him up off the ground in quite the hold. There’s like an arm under his armpit going around to his neck and another arm holding Waylon’s legs that he’s currently jabbing at Cassel.
“Get his feet in it,” he orders Cassel.
Waylon is flailing while Cassel pins his legs together so he can slip the feet in.
“Stop! I can dress myself!” Waylon demands.
“At this rate, I’ll be an old man if I leave you to dress yourself,” Leland says as Cassel grabs the suit and starts shoving it on.
“Hon, you’re putting it on him backwards,” Jeremy observes.
“Well, I’ve never dressed a child before!” Cassel says.
“I’m… I’m pretty sure it’s the same as dressing yourself,” Jeremy tells him.
“Let me dress myself!” Waylon cries as his friend laughs. With Jeremy’s help, they get the legs part of the suit on, so Leland finally puts him down. Waylon hastily pulls the rest of the suit on and zips it to the very top before Leland can even think about helping with the rest.
“Cam… do you think if we started running… we could hitch a ride to somewhere far, far away? I’d rather go to your parents’ party and babysit that annoying kid. I’ll even let her put makeup on me.”
“If you want someone to do your hair and makeup, Cassel is really good at it,” Leland says. “He made me look snazzy… at that… party… where we dressed up… as, uhh… guys… help me. Make it seem normal.”
“As women of the night,” Cassel tosses out.
“I wasn’t included,” Jeremy says. “Thankfully, I might add.”
“I don’t even want to know,” Waylon mutters as Leland ushers him through the door and into the next room where his eyes go wide when he sees the big tubelike thing in the center of the room. “Is this an indoor skydiving place? I saw one of these on YouTube!”
Leland beams. “Sure is. And Cam, don’t worry, I made sure your parents were good with it.”
“This is amazing,” Cam says as he hurries over to look at the tube with Waylon. Then the instructor comes over and talks us through everything before he gets them suited up with helmets.
Leland leans in to whisper into my ear. “We should send Cam in first, not because I’d want to sacrifice him first out of everyone in this group, but since we should let the guest go first.”
“I’m glad you clarified,” I say with much sarcasm.
Waylon eagerly watches and waits for his turn. Once Cam comes out looking windblown but thrilled, the instructor takes Waylon into the tube and helps him turn and rise and fall. He’s all smiles the entire time and when he comes out, we send Leland next.
“This is amazing,” Waylon tells me.
“It is, isn’t it?” I ask as Leland heads in.
“Did you pick this?”
“Definitely not. I had no idea about any of this and didn’t find out until he parked in the parking lot.
But Leland was so excited about it that he could barely sleep.
I think it took all of his attention to make plans,” I say while I watch him fly with the instructor.
I can already tell he’s wishing he could shoot someone like this.
It would be a dream for him to get to fly around and shoot shit.
When Leland comes out, Cassel goes in and takes to it with ease.
“Look at that annoying shit being all perfect at it,” Leland grumbles as he scrutinizes him.
“He’s always been good at aerial stuff, so I’m not surprised,” Jeremy says.
I glance over at Waylon who’s acting like he wants to say something to Leland, but he can’t seem to get it out.
Even though he’s definitely more stubborn when it comes to Leland, I can tell he cares about what Leland has to say and really looks up to him.
I think it’s easier for him to latch on to someone who also went through hell and back during his childhood.
Cam is closer to the tube, watching them gear up Jeremy, so he doesn’t hear Leland as he goes, “You know what would be fun?”
“To shoot a man in one of those?” I guess.
Leland looks shocked that I knew what he was going to say. Like… really? How is he even remotely surprised that I could guess what he’s daydreaming about doing? “YES! That!”
“I thought you once shot a man from a tornado,” Cassel says as he watches Jeremy go in.
“I did.”
“You were like in the eye of it, riding it like your little bitch, right?” Cassel asks.
“I weirdly feel like you are making fun of me,” Leland says.
Cassel does this gasp and heart grab. “NO! I would never.”
“If you’re making fun of anyone, make fun of that,” Leland says while Jeremy spins a bit out of control. The instructor is trying to steady him as he proceeds to show off his inability to fly like his boyfriend.
“He’s sexy. That’s all that matters,” Cassel declares.
Leland turns to me. “Jackson, what if you did this… naked?”
“I’m out,” Waylon says before he rushes off to stand close to Cam where they can’t hear us.
“I wonder if people have tried having sex while in this thing. I would,” Cassel muses.
“It’d probably blow your balls back into your body,” Leland says. “Do you think I could pay them enough to let us try?”
“To blow your balls or to have sex?” Cassel inquires.
“No, I don’t think you should,” I say. “Please don’t ask. You’ll get us thrown out of here.”
Leland isn’t discouraged at all. “Everyone is willing to do just about anything… for the right price. They might even watch. Add a little spice.”
Jeremy comes out and gives us an odd look as he steps into the conversation. “I regret joining any part of this.”
And now it’s my turn. Leland waves me forward.
“Go on, honey… just… be happy it’s not a fence. You can do this!”
“This might be the only way he’ll be able to scale a fence,” Cassel says.
“Why are you being mean to me too?” I ask as I head over to the opening.
“I don’t know!” Cassel admits. “It’s like… the more I’m around Leland, the more horrible of a person I become. Save me from this!”
“I don’t think there’s any hope for you,” Leland says.
“No! There’s hope,” Cassel cries as the instructor shows me what to do and checks that my gear is on properly.
“You ready?” he asks.
“I guess!”
“Just remember that I’m in there with you. If you have any questions or feel uncomfortable at any point, just let me know,” Ronny says.
“Thanks.”
He guides me into the tube and I realize that I had nothing to worry about at all.
Floating in the air is wildly fun. It’s so strange having this feeling of being able to move so freely…
well, eventually. Right now he’s showing me the basics, teaching me how to turn this way and that, and then he pulls me up higher while holding on to me.
I have to admit… Leland really knocked this one out of the park.
After we all get to go a couple more times, we head out to the van.
“Did you see how high he took me up?” Cam asks.
Waylon nods. “I want to learn how to do those flips and stuff the instructor was doing. Did you see the way he did that?”
“You can ask Leland, he once rode a tornado,” Cassel sarcastically says.
“I will mess you up,” Leland threatens. “I don’t care how tiny and cute you are… I will—”
“There are children here,” I remind him.
“Oh right… I will… hug you, Cassel,” Leland says.
Cassel’s face scrunches up. “I’d rather you mess me up.”
“I will portray my love for you through the ultimate hug of affection,” Leland says, snatching up Cassel just as we reach the van. He says something in Cassel’s ear that makes him squirm even harder.
“Jeremy, save me!” Cassel cries.
“Jerebear, you don’t want to save him. I promise you,” Leland warns.
“You guys hungry?” Jeremy asks, giving zero fucks about whatever is going on over there.
“I am,” I say. “We could get pizza or something. I think we drove by a place.”
Leland looks disgusted by that idea. “Hey! Stop! I have plans, dammit… I mean… uh… what’s another word that is proper for fragile ears?”
“There is nothing you can say that we haven’t heard in public school,” Waylon says.
“Is that a bet?” Leland asks.
“Get in the van,” I say as I push him inside.
“Fine, fine. So feisty! Waylon, where’s your birthday hat?”
Waylon does some strange show of patting his head. “I… uh… must have left it inside. Oh, no.”
“That’s okay, I got you another one,” Leland says before he pulls out a “Bride to be” crown and pops it on Waylon’s head. “Perfect.”
“I should have kept the other hat on,” Waylon realizes as Cam laughs and takes a picture of him.
“I’m sending it to Sally,” Cam declares, and boy does that make Waylon react more than anything Leland’s done to him.
“Don’t you dare!”
“It’s too late.”
“You will pay for that! I’m going to say something to Jenna.”
“I don’t even like her like that. Jenna’s just a friend. She’s like… we’ve known each other since we were five. She’s like a sister to me.”
“Good,” Waylon says as he smacks the crown on Cam and snaps a picture before he can stop him.
“DON’T!”
“Too late.”
There’s something about seeing Waylon act like a goofy teenager that makes me feel happy.
I don’t think he got to do that very often while growing up.
I think he was always forced to act like an adult…
reserved and questioning what life might throw at him.
But fighting over a picture while wearing a crown? Talking about girls?
It’s obvious Waylon is starting to adjust to a life that isn’t as stressful, and I’m so happy we’ve played a part in that.
I turn to Leland, who looks far too pleased while he drives. “Are you proud of yourself for forcing them to bully each other?”
“I am. It’s odd… but I am. I actually regret not getting the sash too.
I was just like ‘Is it too much?’ but it wasn’t too much,” he says as he drives for a bit before pulling into a restaurant.
The place looks a bit fancy to take some teens to, but I see why Leland brought them in when the menu depicts making pretty much everything into some kind of fondue masterpiece.
And I realize that Leland will spare no expense to make sure Waylon has the best sleepover he could ever have.
Leland has more money than he knows what to do with, so I think he’s quite happy getting to spend it on someone he cares about.