Chapter 20
TWENTY
LELAND
“Look at all of these suckers,” I say as I stare at the group all waiting to get on the plane.
“I… am honestly very confused why three-quarters of them are even here,” Cassel states. “Do they even like you?”
“I don’t,” Tavish responds.
Ellis gives Tavish a look. “That’s not very nice to say to one of your closest friends.”
“He’s not my friend, you pretty lad,” Tavish says as he smiles at his boyfriend.
The look Ellis is giving him tells me that Tavish is not winning this fight, no matter what happens. For a shockingly defenseless man, Ellis sure seems to know how to whip him into shape.
Tavish pretty much crumbles before that look and turns to me.
“I like ya, I guess. I’m afraid Ellis will bend me over and spank my arse if I claim I don’t.
And while I might enjoy it anywhere else, if he did it here, I might be a tad bit embarrassed, especially because that lady over there won’t stop staring at us. ”
“Knowing Leland, she’s either an assassin or just really horny,” Micah says as he winks at her.
Everly looks mildly put off by this display, or maybe he’s just wondering why he’s involved.
“I was promised that I would get to punch Leland if I showed up. He told me to bring my license and a clean pair of clothes in case I got his blood on me. And then, when I showed up, he shoved me into the back of a vehicle and here I am.”
I beam at him. “And I’m thrilled to have you. I made sure you didn’t have to work for the next couple of days. Cassel went into the prison’s scheduling system and made it so that guy we drove around in the trunk of our car has to work your shift.”
“Oh, I remember that guy,” Henry says, nodding for some reason… like he approves of the torture we put him through. “Still can’t believe you forgot all about him.”
“Excuse me? There were three of us in that car,” I remind him. I have a feeling he’s not listening.
Jackson chuckles at the thought. “Waylon can’t forget it happened, either. Every time Leland says he’ll remember something, Waylon asks him if he’ll remember the way he remembered the guy he left tied up in the trunk.”
“It was a joint effort! All three of us forgot about him, not just me. You guys are unjustly jealous of me,” I declare. “Anyway, I got everyone first-class seats besides Tavish. He goes down with the dogs below. I was told that as long as we kenneled him, he’d be just fine.”
“Do you think there’s room for you down there too?” Everly asks me. “I’d pick that over punching you.”
Why are all of my friends suspiciously evil? “Everly, I thought we were friends now.”
His eyebrow lifts. “Weird.”
“What exactly is our plan?” Jackson asks.
“I’m going to nap,” Henry says.
Jackson seems momentarily confused. “No, not during the fli—” He is immediately cut off by the plans of people who seem to only care about what is going to entertain them on the flight and not what we’re doing with a group of assholes when we land.
“They have movies? I don’t even know what’s out,” Jeremy says.
“I have movies on my laptop if they don’t. We can watch something scary… like Fred cooking squirrels,” Cassel suggests.
Ellis shudders. “He was trying to feed me raccoon jerky… what if I hadn’t known what it was? What if I’d eaten it? I was so hungry that if he hadn’t told me and he’d handed it to me, I would have eaten it. I might have even liked it. And then I would have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
“Why do you act like that was the most terrifying part of your journey?” Jeremy asks. “I feel like everything else I heard about your first adventure with Tavish was ten times worse than the raccoon jerky.”
Ellis just offers him a smile, and it seems suspiciously sweet.
“I overwrote every other part of my journey with happy memories. It goes like this: ‘Tavish and I met at a resort. It was this cute little island in the middle of nowhere. The locals were a bit cranky, but all around not too shabby. We took a plane back home where we had one of those immersive 3D experiences like at Disney as we plummeted to the ground! When we arrived, we met up with Tavish’s friends who were wearing masks for a masquerade.’”
“Tavish, I think he’s short-circuiting,” I say.
Tavish doesn’t appear concerned. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
“You better start working on overwriting this trip too,” Everly tells Ellis. “I haven’t seen one thing go smoothly with them yet.”
“That’s not true. You saw Jackson smoothly smile just a minute ago. Everything Jackson does is damn smooth,” I announce. “Go on now, smile. Show them.”
Jackson offers all of us a very strained smile.
“Ew,” Cassel says, and I glower at my best friend. Does he really think I will allow him to get away with that?
When they start loading people onto the plane, I finally give the rest of them their seat assignments.
Tavish looks far too pleased that he’s up front in first class with the rest of us, not at all caring that it caused me undue stress when I asked Cassel to book the tickets and he put Tavish next to me.
At least there’s an aisle between us, but he’s still uncomfortably close.
Once we’re all loaded up, the safety video starts, and I look over at Jackson while the lady on the screen talks about the flotation devices.
“Honey, if something happens and the plane goes down, I’ll give you Tavish’s flotation device as well,” I whisper. “Ooh, and Micah’s.”
“Why would I need three?”
“We can’t sink,” Cassel says from behind me. “You and I have proven that, Leland. We are unsinkable.”
“We should sing about it,” I realize. “That’s what kept us safe last time.”
“I think we might get thrown off this plane if we do,” Tavish mutters.
My eyes snap to the man who is over there crocheting away.
“What are you making?” I nosily ask.
“Something manly,” he says, voice a bit gruffer than it usually is, which is just confusing.
“Did I say it wasn’t manly? You do realize you’re the only one who has this weird idea that crocheting isn’t manly enough, right? Will you make my husband an elephant trunk thong?”
“How long is this flight?” Everly asks from his seat next to Micah.
Micah was originally seated next to Henry until he flashed his window seat at Henry who took it without hesitation, leaving Micah to be as close to Everly as possible.
Everly had stared at him like a hissing cockroach had slid right into the seat next to him, instead of an attractive man who is doing his best to give him a winning smile.
“Too long. Anything with Leland involved is too long,” Micah assures him.
“Not Jackson’s di—I mean… weenie,” I correct. “See, babe, I’m learning.”
“What exactly are you even saying? Like are you claiming my… penis isn’t long enough?”
“No! That it’s perfectly long. Jackson… you’re just… when this world was made, there was only one perfect human in it and the rest were just prototypes. You were the only perfect one.”
And yet he gives me such a strange look with his perfect eyeballs. “Uh… huh…”
“Thanks, Leland,” Henry says with much sarcasm.
“You’re the perfect Daddy,” I assure him as I reach out and try to hold his hand. The look he gives me tells me that there will be absolutely no handholding from him on this fine morning.
“Everly, we could watch a movie at the same time and discuss it,” Micah offers.
“I’m going to read,” Everly says.
Micah is not deterred. He’s set his sights on this man and appears determined to get him. “What are you reading? I’ll get the same book on my phone before we take off, and we can have our own mini book club.”
“Ellis and I are already reading it together,” Everly says, which makes Micah give Ellis a look that seems to concern the poor guy. He’s just over here existing and slightly terrified of pretty much everything.
“Oh… yeah… I don’t care if he joins. I’ll, uh… text you the link to the book,” Ellis says, which I’m not sure was Everly’s intention. But Micah seems pleased enough as he fiddles on his phone before hesitating.
“Damn, did you send me the extended version or something? Why’s this book so long?” he cries.
“Go watch a movie,” Everly says.
“How long does it usually take you guys to read a book this size?” Micah asks, eyeing the thick paperback in Everly’s hands.
Ellis leans forward. “I’m usually a little faster than Everly, so… I don’t know, maybe four days for me?”
“Does Tavish even see you if you can read a book this thick in four days?” Micah asks.
Tavish huffs. “He made me read the last one. I tried finding those… what do you call it? SparkNotes? Couldn’t find anything. Read some theory about it off Reddit. When I proudly revealed the theory to these two, they stared at me like I had three heads. Here it was for a different book.”
“Ooh, you two could start a book club and maybe read things more aligned with what you like?” Ellis suggests, sounding very excited about the idea of Tavish making friends in a book club.
“Nah. I’m good,” Tavish says as he jerks some yarn around for a moment then plops a rainbow dragon he’s just finished crocheting down on Ellis’s lap.
Ellis looks ecstatic when he picks it up. “He’s so cute! I love him so much.”
“Good,” Tavish says bluntly, like he’s not over there looking embarrassed and pleased by Ellis’s reaction.
“I’m going to be honest, I’ve been super nervous ever since you said we’re getting on a plane after the last plane we got on, but this makes me feel better,” Ellis says as he squishes the dragon a little.
I eye their disgusting display of affection before looking over at my husband. “Jackson, I want you to make me something.”
“I made you a son,” he says while he flips through the movie choices.
“Actually, I made you the son,” Cassel corrects. “And I did it so damn well that even the highly scrutinizing and confused Patel can’t refute it.”
“You did a fantastic job,” Jeremy says.
Jackson hesitates. “Oh right… I, uhh… made you your favorite memory in all of your life.”
I gasp. “The Fence—”