63. Caspian
Caspian
E ven with Bellamy hovering like a watchdog, I was going stir crazy at the house. Vince had been kidnapped, Orion was on a suicide mission, and if Jake hadn’t learned that our fathers didn’t care if we lived or died, he was about to learn a very hard and permanent lesson.
“Thank you for lunch,” I said, pushing away from the table.
“You’re welcome,” Fletcher said, arm stretched out beneath the table to rest on Gideon’s leg.
“Thank you for letting me stay here,” I said next.
“That’s Daren.”
I glanced at the man in question, who looked so much like Jake and nothing like him at the same time.
“Can we talk?” I asked him. “Alone?”
“I don’t keep secrets from any of them,” Daren said .
I huffed. “I’d be shocked if you did. You can tell them after, I just…”
“I get it,” Bellamy said gently from beside me. “It’s a lot sometimes.”
“We can talk on the porch,” Daren said.
I nodded gratefully, standing up and following him through the house to the porch.
Their house was an old Victorian monstrosity with a wraparound porch and half a dozen rocking chairs scattered on either side of the door.
I sank down into one, startling at how fast it began to rock, and Daren sat down beside me, reaching over to stop the motion as if it was something he’d done a hundred times before.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Tell me about what he was like as a kid.”
Down the hill, the Rose Hill University campus sprawled out like it was trying to get its claws into every inch of the town.
I found myself suddenly faced with the urge to burn the whole thing down, though I’d never really do it.
I didn’t have it in me. I wasn’t born ready to pull the trigger as readily as the men I’d surrounded myself with.
In hindsight, I had no idea what I’d been thinking when I thought I could take this job with Vanessa, kill Vince Angelini, and save a legacy that was never meant to be mine.
I’d been too foolish, too sheltered. But not anymore.
My eyes were open, and I was more alert and understanding than I’d ever been before.
“He was a force of nature,” Daren answered, slowly uncurling his fingers from the arm of my chair. “He wasn’t scared of anything.”
“What changed?”
Daren arched a brow. “What do you think he’s scared of now?”
“He was hiding in a church when I met him,” I said.
“My uncle’s play,” Daren said. “There’d been so much upheaval from what Gideon and Fletcher did. He and my father…they knew I was…knew I was not on their side. It was a precaution, but it wasn’t a kindness.”
“What do you mean?”
“They were hiding him until they needed him.”
My brows knit together over the bridge of my nose. “But it’s not a secret you had a cousin. Everyone knew he existed.”
“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but the easiest way to survive this life is to keep your head down and your eyes on your own lane,” Daren said, his shoulders sagging low.
“You didn’t seem to excel with keeping your head down.”
He laughed, a sad sound under his breath. “I kept it lower than most. I tried as hard as I could to stay out of everyone’s line of sight so I could buy more time with Luca.”
Luca Mandeville, the infamous second to Gideon North and who’d never met a person he didn’t want to take to bed. If his promiscuity had been a ruse to keep his relationship with Daren secret, it worked. Even though I hadn’t known much of either of them coming into this life, I’d heard plenty after.
I’d realized there were two circles of families in town and the overlap between them was growing smaller every day.
Those at the top thought there was no one above them.
That was the mistake Francis North and Miller Sinclair, Gideon’s and Fletcher’s fathers, had made.
They were beholden to the Angelinis in ways they didn’t truly understand until the alliance between the three ruling sons was complete.
“But no,” Daren went on, stretching out his legs. “Jacob wasn’t afraid of anything, not even our parents.”
“What changed, then?”
“I couldn’t say. I’ve managed to stay out of their politics up until this last year.”
“And I see how well that worked out for all of you.”
“It worked fine,” he shot back, “until it didn’t.”
“You know I can’t stay here,” I whispered, tilting my head up so I could get a read on his face, which was chiseled and unreadable as stone.
“You have to.”
“This is my fault,” I reminded him. “I thought I knew what was best and I made a bad decision. I thought…thought I owed my father something when, in reality, he didn’t deserve anything from me.”
“You’re doing us all a disservice if you pretend your intent wasn’t at least somewhat selfish,” Daren mused, rubbing absently at the side of his chin. “ All of us act in our own best interests. The key to life is surrounding yourself with people who have those same interests.”
“It was a high school obsession,” I snapped. “And it was a delusional trick I used to convince myself I was doing the right thing. The best way. Or something. I don’t even know anymore.”
“Don’t know if it was best?” he asked.
“I thought I had feelings for a man I never knew, but now that I actually have feelings for him…” I trailed off, unsure of how to finish.
Daren sighed heavily, resigned. “Do you love him?”
“I love them ,” I answered, still unsure of how deep my feelings for Orion ran, but understanding they were irrevocably wrapped up with those for Vince and Jake. “I can’t lose that now.”
“Fletcher is going to fucking kill me,” he muttered, standing up and throwing a quick look over his shoulder toward the house.
“What?”
“Come around back with me, but be fucking quiet,” he warned. “I’m saying goodbye to Luca and getting a gun, then we’re going to find my cousin for you.”