Chapter 36
KENDALL
Iwake up before Patterson, which almost never happens.
The bedroom is barely lit, and he’s sprawled across the mattress with one arm flung over where I should be. I move my feet to the edge of the bed and watch him sleep for a minute, noticing how handsome he looks. I admire the dip in his lip, the way his eyelashes curl up.
I grab my phone and go to the bathroom.
The headlines are worse today.
CROSS brOTHERS’ LOVE TRIANGLE: INSIDE THE SCANDAL ROCKING THE LEAGUE
COACH’S DAUGHTER CAUGHT WITH PLAYER HE BENCHED
PATTERSON CROSS SPOTTED WITH EX-FIANCéE OF TWIN brOTHER
ANGELS LOSE FOURTH STRAIGHT GAME AS COACH HART CONTINUES POWER PLAY
SOURCES SAY LOCKER ROOM MORALE AT ALL-TIME LOW
IS PRIDE WORTH A PLAYOFF RUN? INSIDE COACH HART’S CONTROVERSIAL DECISION
I love how they’ve made me out to be the villain. As I continue to scroll, I come across a photo of my dad leaving the facility. He looks upset, and seeing him like that makes me want to scream, cry, or do both.
I’ve spent the last week hiding, watching my father’s career crumble on television, telling myself it wasn’t my fault. But it partly is because I purposely pursued Patterson. Even Patterson told me to leave him alone, but I didn’t listen. This is what I wanted and wished for.
Patterson stirs. “Ken Doll?”
I finish my business in the bathroom, then walk out in a T-shirt and panties. He reaches for me, his hand warm on my hip when I sit on the mattress.
“Come back to bed. Let’s snuggle.”
“I can’t sleep anymore.” I turn to look at him, and he must see it on my face because he shifts. “We need to go to Westchester today.”
“Right now?”
“The sooner, the better. I’m done sitting around and doing nothing about this.”
“Mmm. I love it when you’re feisty.” He throws off the covers and swings his legs over the side of the bed. “Welcome back, babe. Where the fuck ya been?”
The fact that he gets up and starts his day like this was going to happen makes me love him even more.
“I know I haven’t been myself lately,” I tell him as he moves to the bathroom.
“It’s okay to go through some shit. We’ll work through it, always, okay?”
He pulls me into the shower with him, and we wash each other in record time. I put on jeans and a sweater and minimal makeup because I want my father to see that I mean business. Patterson wears slacks and a gray henley. Sexy as hell. When he catches me staring, he raises an eyebrow.
“Ready?”
“Ruined.” I grab my bag and head toward the door.
“Same,” he tells me, picking up his keys.
We head to the parking garage, and I see his Range Rover, the one he drove to my parents’ house. Beside it are several other cars, like a matte-black Porsche 911, a navy Jaguar, a white Mercedes G-Wagon, and a cherry-red Ferrari.
“Are these yours?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he tells me, opening my door, and I climb inside.
“I’m learning there’s a lot I don’t know about you,” I say.
“You know the important things,” he tells me.
The drive takes almost an hour with traffic. Patterson’s hand rests on my thigh, and neither of us talks much, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable.
I run through what I want to say in my head, all the justifications and defenses, but the second I imagine my father’s disappointed face, everything flies out the window.
“Whatever happens in there,” Patterson says as we turn onto my parents’ street, “I’m with you.”
“Not sure I could do this without you.”
Today, I woke up with no fucks to give.
“You could. Remember, if he yells, if he throws us out, if he says shit that makes you want to rage, we leave. You’re extending an olive branch. If he doesn’t take it, that is not your fault.”
“You’re right.”
He smiles. “Look at you, being the bigger person. Never thought I’d see the day, Ken Doll.”
I playfully slap him. “Stop. I’m really nervous.”
“Just focus on the vein that pops out when he’s about to explode. Sometimes, it will dance for you,” he says, tapping his forehead. Then he moves in and kisses me softly. “For good luck.”
“I need it,” I whisper, turning toward the house.
It looks exactly the same as it always has.
In the back, I can see Mom’s flower garden is starting to bloom.
My eye catches the tire swing, and in the distance, there used to be a pond that I’d bravely skate on when it would freeze over.
It was filled in when they built the new housing addition though.
Patterson parks in the driveway, and we sit there for a minute, staring at the front door.
“We don’t have to do this,” he says. “We can go back to the city.”
“I have to.” I take a deep breath and open my door.
“You can still do a triple axel, Kendall. And land it perfectly. That’s a lot fucking harder than dealing with your stubborn, hardheaded dad,” he offers. “Tell him you love him, no matter what. He won’t push you away. Trust me, it’s how Addison got out of every shitty situation.”
I chuckle. “Good to know. But she probably learned that from her older brothers.”
“Absolutely,” he says. “Now go and show your dad why they call you The Destroyer.”
A minute later, we’re standing on the porch, hands intertwined. Patterson’s relaxed, like he doesn’t have a care in the world, and maybe he doesn’t. I give him a smile and open my mouth to speak when my mom opens the door. She notices our hands are interlocked and grins wide.
“I knew it.”
“Heading somewhere?” I ask, noticing she’s wearing one of her famous pantsuits.
“I was going to drink mimosas with my bestie,” she says.
I chuckle. “Mom, it’s eight in the morning.”
“I know, but I didn’t know you were coming. Your dad is upstairs in his office.” She glances between us. “He’s in a mood.”
“Ahh,” Patterson says. “Hate it when he comes to practice like that. Almost feel sorry for my teammates.”
She opens the door. “Coach, I’m heading out. Going to meet Shannon.”
“Okay. I love you,” my dad calls from upstairs.
Mom shoos us both past her, then leaves to meet her friends.
“He’s in a bad mood this morning,” Patterson warns sarcastically.
“What else is new?” I ask.
He laughs. “I know where you get your temper from.”
“Shut up,” I say, playfully smacking him. “We have to be serious.”
“Oh, right.” Patterson snaps and turns his smile off. At least he tries. It immediately comes back.
Seconds later, I’m standing in the doorway of his office, watching him watch game films. Patterson moves behind me, and my father looks up from his desk. For a second, he stares at us.
“Is this where you both murder me?”
“Oh, please,” I say. “I’d never get away with it.”
He doesn’t smile, but I know, deep down, he wants to.
I move inside, sit in the chair in front of his desk, and pull Patterson with me.
He takes the other chair, but he barely fits in it.
Dad’s wearing an old Angels sweatshirt with a hole in the collar.
There are papers scattered everywhere and a half-eaten Greek yogurt on his desk.
My mom forces him to eat it, and he hates it.
“Dad, we need to talk about this. Right now. You told me to face my fears straight on.” I swallow hard. “And that if I get hit, hit back harder. You made me this stubborn, okay?”
The silence stretches. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to be calm and logical and make my case like a lawyer presenting evidence. But now that I’m sitting here, looking at my father’s disappointed face, all of that goes out the window.
“I’m not here to apologize,” I say. “I won’t.”
His eyebrows lift. “I didn’t ask you to. And I don’t want a fake apology. You can save that bullshit. Both of you.”
“Great. I—” I stop myself because I’m ready to get off track and lay it all out on the table, but I have to be strategic. “Dad, you’ve spent the last week destroying your season to prove a point, and I need you to stop.”
“Excuse the hell out of me?”
“Four losses. You should be pissed at yourself. This is unacceptable behavior. Four games where your team played without their best player because you were too busy trying to control my life? That’s absurd!”
“Watch your tone with me, young lady.” He takes off his reading glasses and sets them on the desk.
“Why are you still doing this? You’re in your head. Get out of it.” I repeat the same words he used to tell me on the ice when I was Olympic-bound. “This is your Olympic chance, Dad. You’re wasting it.” My voice cracks, which I hate because I wanted to be strong, and I’m already falling apart.
“I want the very best for you and—”
“He is. That’s what you don’t understand.
If you want the best for me, then please stop.
You’re making this worse for everyone, and it won’t change anything for anyone but you.
” I’m not yelling, but I’m close to it. “You’re punishing me like I committed a mortal crime for falling in love.
Have you seen what they’ve said about me?
The devil that destroyed the Angels? Is that what you think? ”
My father shakes his head. “No.”
Patterson says nothing.
“Over the course of my career, I’ve had hundreds of players come through my program.
Most are extremely talented and ambitious.
They would do anything to play on this team in this league, but they were never brave enough to defy me.
Because to be an Angel is to be an honor.
And then there’s you,” he says to Patterson. “The anomaly of them all.”
“I take that as a compliment, Coach,” he says, giving my dad a cocky grin.
“It wasn’t one.” My dad leans back in his chair and studies Patterson for a long moment.
“When you came back to my office that day, after Kendall left, I was ready to end your career. I had the phone in my hand. I was going to call every GM in the league and make sure you never played professional hockey again.”
I look at Patterson, and his expression doesn’t change.
“What stopped you?” Patterson asks.
“Your character,” he says. “I know you’re no bullshit.”
That smirk grows even wider. “You’re right.”
My father watches him for another beat, then sighs before looking at me. “I’m still really fucking angry. I want you both to know that. But I’m tired.”
“I’m sorry for lying to you,” I say.
“Me too,” Patterson adds. “I mean it. That was fucked up. It got out of hand.”
“You don’t have to forgive me right now, just eventually,” I tell him.
“I can do that,” my dad says and turns to Patterson. “Be at the game tomorrow. If we can win it, we’ll still make the playoffs.”
I wait for Patterson to say yes.
Instead, he says, “I’ll think about it.”
My father blinks at him like he’s lost his fucking mind. “What did you say, Cross?”
“You benched me and called me a problem to the media. For a week, you let reporters question my character and say some pretty shitty things about me.” Patterson shrugs. “I need to decide if I want to play for someone who acts that way.”
The silence is unbearable, and my heart starts racing again. My father’s face transforms into something that resembles pissed-off respect.
“You’re serious,” my dad says.
“Oh, yeah. I don’t think I want to,” Patterson tells him. “But I’ll think about it.”
Before my father can respond, Patterson stands. “Actually, Coach, before you start yelling, do you mind if we talk? The two of us.”
I look at him. “What?”
“Go wait downstairs, Kendall,” my dad tells me.
Patterson gives me a sweet but cocky-as-fuck smile.
I try to understand what he’s doing, but he gives nothing away.
“Okay. Well, good talk, Dad. I love you.”
“I’m sorry, Kendall. For being so harsh,” he says as I stand.
“I’m sorry for upsetting you.” I give him a smile and head for the door, turning back once. Patterson nods, and I step into the hallway and pull the door closed behind me.
I should go downstairs and give them privacy.
Instead, I hover near the door, like a kid.
Their voices are muffled through the wood, so it’s hard to hear what they’re saying. I catch fragments of Patterson’s voice. My father’s is gruff but even quieter than before.
Then I hear it.
“… marry …”
My eyes go wide, and I sneak down the hallway and down the stairs.
This man told my father he’d have to think about playing tomorrow, and now I think he’s asking permission to marry me.
The audacity. But then again, of course, I’m with a man with balls of steel.
I don’t think it would work with anyone else.
I sit on the bottom step and wait with a stupid grin on my face that I can’t seem to control.
A few minutes later, I hear the office door open and footsteps behind me. Patterson appears at the top of the stairs, looking pleased, like he knows he pissed my dad off even more.
“Ready?” he asks, like he didn’t do whatever the hell that was.
“What did you say to him?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He takes my hand and pulls me toward the door. “I already told him bye for us. Let’s go home.”
I chuckle. “Okay.”
We walk to the Range Rover and climb in. “Seriously, what did you two talk about?”
“You’ll find out eventually.” He grins and rests his hand on my thigh. “Patience, Ken Doll. I mean, unless you were eavesdropping when I told your dad I was going to marry you.”
I tuck my lips inside my mouth as I imagine spending a lifetime with him. “Are you trying to make him stroke out?”
He shrugs. “Thought I’d put it out there now so he can start working through it all at once.”
I tilt my head at him. “So, you’re planning on proposing to me?”
“One day,” he says, leaning in and stealing a kiss. “If you’re a good girl.”
Before he pulls away, I nibble on his lips.
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you in your parents’ driveway.”
“Oh, I think we’ve pushed our luck enough today,” I say.
He shrugs, backing out of the driveway. “That’s happening one day.”
“Deal. So, are you playing tomorrow?” I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.
“What do you think?”
“I think you love hockey too much to miss a playoff game.”
He glances at me. “Yeah, but I think I love making your dad sweat more.”
I gasp. “You are the evil twin.”
“And you’re the devil who took down the Angels,” he throws back.
“A match made in hell,” I tell him, and he kisses my knuckles.
“Love you, Ken Doll.”
“Love you too, Pattycakes.”
We exchange a look, and I can see the satisfaction of making my father work for it. I also see the certainty that he’s going to show up tomorrow anyway and win that game. And eventually marry me.
He squeezes my thigh and focuses back on the road, and I smile the whole way home.
None of this is perfect, and I know my dad will still make this hard, but at least the bridge isn’t burned to ash. Patterson and I will make it through this, like it’s meant to be. Because it is.