Chapter 11
brAXTON
PRESENT
I shoot up in bed and run trembling hands over my hair and face.
My fingertips touch the drool on my chin and swipe it away.
The late-afternoon sun shines through the open window as a warm breeze makes the sheer curtains dance.
A car horn blares somewhere in the distance, and I grab onto the noise, using it to ground me.
It was a memory. It wasn’t real. I’m twenty-six, not sixteen. My blankets are white, not black. I’m alone. He’s not here.
The reminder isn’t comforting. No, instead, it makes me feel . . . empty? I sigh, pressing my palms into my eyes and rubbing the sleep away.
It’s been over a week since I was at Maddox’s penthouse, and in that time, all I’ve managed to think about is how far in over my head I really am.
We’ve texted a couple of times, mostly after his conversation with Dougie, where they discussed what our next move should be and how we were to act at our first public appearance, but other than that, it’s been silence.
It would be too easy to simply move on from the past and start fresh, so awkward tension is what we’re left with.
Today the Vancouver Warriors play Colorado on home ice, and I get to make my official debut as Maddox Hutton’s girlfriend. To add even more pressure to the situation, my seat tonight is right beside his family.
Talk about jumping in with both feet.
Nerves flutter beneath my skin as I push out of bed and head to my closet to get dressed.
I left work early today after spending hours unable to concentrate on anything but the ulcer I was growing in my stomach.
I came right home to shower the smell of animal off me and then take a nap.
From the time on my alarm clock, I woke up earlier than I planned to.
My walk-in closet is incredibly underwhelming. With one half filled with nothing but matching scrub pants and tops and a mostly empty other half with dressier outfits and jeans, it’s obvious how often I actually leave my house for anything other than work.
I grab one of my nicer pairs of jeans from their hanger, along with a thin sweater, and turn to leave, but a flash of green from inside a half-open box makes me pause.
That specific box should have been in the basement.
It’s labelled basement for a reason. One the moving company clearly didn’t care about.
My feet carry me toward it despite my annoyance, and I crouch, staring at the box like it might grow arms and take a swing at me. Carefully, I peel back the flaps and suck in a sharp breath. The white stitched name across the back of the old Warriors home jersey has my stomach doing backflips.
I still remember the day I bought this jersey, a month after Maddox was signed by the VW.
The shop owner had hardly set the new Hutton jerseys out when I came in and bought one.
It was almost nostalgic buying it. I was just so proud of him that the reality of our broken friendship wasn’t enough to keep me from grabbing this last piece of him.
Not once have I so much as tried it on, but if there were ever a time to give it a whirl . . . it would be tonight. Suddenly, my head is full of pain-in-the-butt questions and insecurities.
What if he doesn’t like it? What if it doesn’t fit after all these years? Will it make me look desperate?
The sound of my phone ringing in my room is an unexpected but grateful distraction. I leave the jersey where it’s been tucked away and rush to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Hey. Am I interrupting something? You sound out of breath.” Cooper, one of Maddox’s and my closest friends since childhood, laughs into the speaker.
“Nope, not interrupting. I just ran to catch your call. You know how I am with running.” I walk over to my vanity and frown at the new pimple on my chin. Perfect timing for a breakout.
“I think you would like it if you really gave it a shot. It’s good for the mind.”
“My mind is just fine, thank you, Dr. Cooper.”
He chuckles. “You’re the only doctor here.”
“Technically, we’re both doctors. Your doctorate is just way cooler than mine.”
“You think a doctorate in art is cooler than you being a veterinarian? Nah, Braxton. Maybe your mind isn’t as solid as you think it is.”
A smile cracks through the stiff muscles in my face. “Did you call for a reason other than to make fun of me?”
“You see, I did, but you just make it too easy to rile you up.”
“You’re an ass.”
“That would actually be you. Considering you didn’t seem to be planning on telling me about your new boyfriend before it went public,” he scolds me.
“Who told you about that?” I groan.
“Who do you think?”
“Oh,” I mutter.
Maddox, Cooper, and I used to be thick as thieves growing up. Sure, Maddox and I were closer, but I think that had more to do with our two-year age gap with Cooper. At least, it did in the beginning.
After everything that went down with the two of us, I kept in contact with Cooper but never had the guts to ask about Maddox, and he knew better than to bring him up. I’m sure he and Maddox had the same agreement regarding me. Coop was the perfect Switzerland, and for that, I’m beyond grateful.
“Yeah, oh.”
“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wrap my head around this first before dragging you into it.”
“I understand that. I just expected you to be the one to tell me, that’s all. We’ve always been more open about that stuff than Dox and I are.”
“Are you saying that I’m your favourite?”
“Don’t try and change the subject. What’s up with this fake dating stuff?”
“It just sort of happened, Coop.”
“Just sort of happened?” he echoes. “You signed an NDA.”
“Geez, did he just crack right open and spill everything?” I grumble.
“You could say that.”
“Great,” I huff.
“This is a terrible idea, love. Are you sure you’re making the right move?”
“No.”
A pause, and then a long exhale. “Promise me that you’re going to protect yourself. I can’t see you like that again.”
“A zombie, you mean.”
“Sad,” he corrects me.
“It was my fault, Coop. I’ve accepted that, and my life is better for it. This could be my chance to right my wrongs. To earn his forgiveness and finally close that chapter of my life.”
He’s not the only one afraid of what could happen and how it could drag me back down into the hole it took me far too long to crawl out of, but I refuse to miss out on this opportunity. It’s now or never. Whatever comes . . . I have to be ready for it.
“He’s nervous too, you know? The guy could barely get a breath in through his rant.”
That does little to settle me, but I keep that to myself. “I found his jersey in my closet.”
“Are you going to wear it today?”
“He told you about today?” I ask while walking into the closet and staring at the box again.
“Yes.”
“Do you think I should wear it?” Say no.
“I think if you’re trying to get over what happened, that yes, you should. It’s a step forward.”
I frown. “You suck.”
The laugh that follows my insult is pure Cooper—sunshine and rainbows. “Addie is picking you up, right?”
“That’s what Maddox said.”
I haven’t seen Adalyn since she was ten. Besides Noah, she’s the one I’m most nervous to see again. Does she hate me as much as her oldest brother does?
“It’s a good move. Addie is the more open one of the entire Hutton family. I don’t think she holds a grudge against you, just your father,” Cooper says.
I nod even though he can’t see me and close the gap between me and the damn box. “Okay, yeah. I can work with that.”
“Yeah, you can. You’ve got this.”
“Thank you, Coop. I love you.”
“I love you too. Talk later, B. Have fun.”
“I’ll try. Bye.”
We say goodbye, and I set my phone on a shelf.
With a new sense of determination, I crouch back down in front of the box and peel back the top, brushing my fingers over the jersey before pinching it and holding it up in front of me.
Nodding, I suck back a deep breath and stand before pulling the jersey on and tugging it as far down my torso as it will go. I hold my arms out in front of me and start to relax when the sleeves are a good length. When my eyes fall to my stomach, I smile.
It’s a perfect fit.
And half an hour later, I’m done up properly. Foundation, mascara, a peachy lipstick, and a quick touch-up to my hair is all it takes for me to feel like a new woman. After a couple of spritzes of perfume, I’m grabbing my purse and starting to put my phone inside when it chimes with a text.
Unknown: I think I’m here.
Just like that, I’m ready to throw up. The grilled cheese I made for dinner churns in my stomach as my nerves come racing back.
Me: On my way out!
I’ve already switched all the lights off and locked the back door, but after spending eight years in Toronto for school, I double-check the lock before slipping on a pair of white sneakers and stepping out onto the front porch.
My new home is a two-bedroom, two-bathroom new-construction townhouse with high peaks and a big front window that makes the living space appear bigger than it is.
Being the third unit in the long row of homes, I share two walls with neighbours.
It isn’t always ideal to be sandwiched between two households, but I’ve been lucky enough to have respectful ones on both sides.
It helps that I’m usually gone early in the morning and home in the later part of the evening, so I doubt I would see or hear much of anything regardless.
When I spin around on the porch, I spot a deep red Jeep waiting on the curb a few feet ahead of where I live.
The windows are heavily tinted, and there looks to be a social media handle on the back one.
I straighten my shoulders and stride toward the beefy vehicle, my curls bouncing with each overenthusiastic step.
My courage starts to falter the closer I get, and the moment I come up on the passenger side and catch a glance at the driver, I stumble. I slam a hand to the front door to catch myself as my cheeks flare with embarrassment.
The window rolls down as a drop-dead gorgeous blonde leans out and stares at me with wide eyes and lips parted.
“Braxton?”
“Adalyn?”