4. Tuesday, May 8, 2012
TUESDAY, MAY 8, 2012
S ure enough, The Albatross still docked in the same slip where Julia had last seen it. It was the same forty-five-foot sport-fishing catamaran she and William considered buying six years ago, with its two rows of forward-facing seats, a T-Top, and one row of aft-facing seats. After they broke up, William bought it with the money he had saved from his crab fishing years in Alaska.
From the pier, and with Paige and Robert in tow, Julia spied movement at the helm and called out. But her smile faded when a woman disembarked, waving a friendly hello.
“Oh,” Julia stammered, glancing again at the boat’s hull. Yep, it still said The Albatross. “I’m sorry, did I make a mistake? I was looking for William Quinn.”
“No, yeah, you have the right boat.” The young woman’s smile was wide and earnest. She approached, threading three life vests onto her left arm and extending her right hand in greeting. “I’m Izumi. The naturalist on board.”
“Oh!” A wave of relief swept over Julia as she shook Izumi’s hand.
“You must be Julia.” Youthful vocal fry dripped from her voice.
“Oh yes – sorry. Julia Beale.”
Izumi was petite, Asian. Delicate features. Lustrous black hair piled atop her head in a stylish messy bun. Young – no more than twenty-five. Doubtless, legions of dick pics stormed the inboxes of Izumi’s online dating profiles.
Suddenly aware of her own gaping, Julia straightened and pulled herself together. “I’m sorry; William just didn’t mention the naturalist was joining us.”
“No worries; I agreed to come at the last minute.”
“I called her last night.” William’s voice made Julia jump. She had been so fixated on Izumi that she hadn't even seen him approach. “It occurred to me you’d all have a better experience with her providing interpretation, since I’m mostly at the helm.”
“Makes sense,” was all Julia could think to mumble. She was so disoriented by this turn of events – finding a very beautiful, very young woman with William – that the speech center of her brain seized up.
Not only that, but at the sight of William, her mouth went dry. She sucked in a huge gulp of air and held it a moment.
They were entering a heat wave, and it was an almost freakishly warm, sunny morning. William wore only a short-sleeved black tee-shirt, gray cargo pants, and black deck boots. The shirt wasn’t tight, but it was more fitted than his usual styles, and it clung lightly to his rather well-defined chest. It struck Julia like a thunderbolt that, with his aviator sunglasses, William could absolutely pass for a Hollywood star, or even a model.
When his cheeks flushed under her scrutiny, she finally tore her eyes away. Unfortunately, they then landed on Izumi, whose eyes, face, and whole being lit up as she watched William. And not only that, but to Julia’s dismay, even Paige was gaping.
A guffaw threatened to erupt from somewhere deep in Julia’s belly.
After a moment, Izumi reluctantly turned back to Julia. After a moment to study Julia’s face, Izumi's smile faded somewhat. “I have a degree in marine biology from the University of Hawaii,” she offered, as if explaining herself.
Julia snapped her jaw shut and forced what she hoped was an easy-breezy smile. Izumi must have thought she was doubting her qualifications. “Of course! I didn’t mean...I wasn’t doubting... Did Will tell you I have a degree in marine biology from Santa Barbara?” As soon as it was out of her mouth, Julia cringed inwardly. In a desperate attempt to seem relatable and find common ground, not only did she sound like she was one-upping Izumi – but she had used William’s pet name. The one he only permitted the people he loved to use.
Izumi quirked an eyebrow at Julia. “Will?”
Thankfully, William intervened. “I hadn’t really had a chance yet to tell Izumi about our passengers.”
Izumi’s mouth drooped at the corners, and the color drained from her cheeks. Julia inwardly kicked herself. Now Izumi was putting two and two together.
William tilted his sunglasses to the crown of his head. He lobbed a pointed look first at Julia, then at the kids.
“Right.” Julia cleared her throat. “Izumi, this is Paige and Robert. My kids.”
Izumi, still flustered, tried her best to smile as she greeted Paige. And then, she squatted to meet Robert.
For three or four beats, Izumi simply froze, as if looking upon the face of Medusa. The only sign of life was her rapidly-fading smile. With enormous eyes, she turned her head back to gape first at William, then at Julia.
She knew.
Of course she knew. Who wouldn’t, seeing William and Robert together? Izumi would have to be blind not to know.
Julia’s pulse slammed in her throat, and she scrambled to think of something to say. Anything whatsoever to defuse the tension.
“Wow!” blurted Robert, still shaking Izumi’s hand and refusing to let go. “You’re really pretty!”
Paige snorted, and without meaning to, Julia barked out a nervous laugh. Robert’s compliment snapped Izumi out of her stupor, and she plastered on an even more overwrought smile. “Oh my gosh, you’re so sweet!”
Meanwhile, William scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. Only then did it occur to Julia – maybe William and Izumi had once shared something more than a professional relationship.
William interrupted Julia’s brooding when he took one of the life vests from Izumi. “These things are kind of fussy,” he explained to Julia and the kids. “The straps are obnoxious, but we’ll help.”
After gesturing for Izumi to assist Paige and Robert, William hovered over Julia, fastening and tightening the vest’s fiddly straps. Julia couldn’t tell whether he was oblivious to Izumi’s distress, or just ignoring it.
They boarded The Albatross, where William drilled them in safety protocols, oriented them to the boat, and ran down the itinerary. Julia barely heard a word, and Izumi seemed hardly less preoccupied, since her eyes constantly pinballed between Robert, Julia, and William. On one of Izumi’s passes, Julia smiled as amicably as possible, but Izumi darted her eyes away without returning it.
Julia didn’t have much time to dwell on that before yet another stranger rounded the corner from the stern. He was not much older than Izumi. Loose, dark curls swept forward from the crown of his head and jutted stylishly over his forehead.
“This is my deckhand, Stephen,” explained William. “He also happens to be my Aunt Rita’s grandson. Stephen, this is Julia, Paige, and Robert.”
Julia chuckled as she stepped forward to shake Stephen’s hand. “How many aunts and uncles do you have, Will?”
“Nine.” Smiling faintly, he added, “And thirty-two cousins, at last count.”
“Nice to finally meet you,” said Stephen, treating Julia to a dazzling smile. He was at least six feet tall, slim, and good-looking. He reminded Julia of an outgoing, more Italian-looking William, at least from the time when William was younger and beardless. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Julia’s eyebrows lifted, and she glanced reflexively at a sullen Izumi. “You have?”
Before Stephen could reply, Robert made a beeline for the helm’s controls, crying out in excitement.
“Hold up, buddy.” William’s authoritative tone reined Robert in, even while his laugh kept things easy. “That's coming soon, don’t worry. But first – pop quiz.”
While Paige groaned outwardly, Julia groaned inwardly, since she hadn’t listened to a single word of William’s safety lesson. Luckily, though, Paige was his first victim.
Of course, the kids nailed every question. Dread welled in the pit of Julia’s stomach as William’s eyes landed on her. “Julia – what do you do if you feel seasick?”
Julia blew out a puff of air – that, at least, was an easy one. “Glue your eyes to the horizon, or a fixed object, like a land mass or a structure.”
“Okay,” William conceded, “you guys are obviously really smart. No more softballs.”
Robert’s face scrunched up in confusion. “We weren’t playing softball.”
Paige thunked him lightly on the back of his head. “Idiot; it’s just an expression.”
“ Paige ,” Julia bit out. “He’s only five.”
“A softball can mean an easy question, buddy,” explained William, rumpling Robert’s blond waves. After William’s treatment, they stuck up even more than usual. An unmistakable fondness softened William’s eyes as he stared at the spitting image of his own boyhood. “So, Robert – first non-softball. Are you ready?”
“I was born ready!” Robert had picked up that cheesy gem from a tee-ball teammate, but at least it defused the tension.
Well, most of the tension. Still gaping at Robert, her feet glued to the deck, Izumi remained a study in shock.
To her own surprise, Julia felt compassion for her. Even after six years, she remembered what it felt like when she believed William was dating a coworker. And then again, a few months later, when she learned how many other women William had slept with in the eleven years since their first break up.Including the one who confronted her in the ladies’ room at MacGowan’s, warning her not to let William get her pregnant.
Oops!
Julia had let her insecurities factor into her decision to break up again with William and go back to Kevin. It was far from the main reason, of course; and under any other circumstances, it would have been no reason at all. But at the time, she honestly believed reconciling with Kevin was the best thing for her hospitalized seven-year-old who had slashed her own wrists – if not for herself or William.
Learning the less-than-savory details of William’s past had sowed those initial seeds of doubt. And then, after making her agonizing choice, she had cited those doubts to herself, again and again, trying to shore up her resolve.
Yet despite everything she had learned and experienced in the years since, those same doubts now creeped back in. After all, Izumi looked nothing short of devastated. Maybe this wasn’t just some unrequited crush. Maybe Julia and William were flaunting their renewed relationship in the face of one of his exes. And now they were about to spend a whole day trapped on a boat together, with Julia and William’s son thrown in for extra kicks.
“Julia.”
The sound of her own name, spoken in William’s baritone, snatched her from her anxiety death-spiral. “Huh?”
There was a sparkle in William’s eye, as if he knew she hadn’t been paying attention. “What should you do?”
“What should… sorry, about what?”
William’s lips twitched, but he managed to suppress a smirk. “If you fall overboard.”
“Um…”
This was not a hardball question, and it wasn’t like Julia was a noob at seafaring. She had worked on plenty of ocean-going vessels during her college years, not to mention all the whale watching excursions she had taken with Uncle Rob. And of course, there was William’s uncle’s boat, where she and William had shared their first kiss; and Kevin’s parents’ yachts, plural , where she had spent many an unpleasant summer.
She knew seamanship like the back of her hand, but to watch her brain seize up at William’s basic question, nobody would have known it.
Grinning, Paige made a tsk sound and shook her head. “And Mom says I never listen.”
Lifting an eyebrow, William turned to Paige. “All right then, you tell us – what should you do if you fall overboard?”
Of course, Paige nailed the answer, and against Julia’s will, her eyes locked on Izumi’s for a loaded moment. Julia’s lungs stubbornly refused to draw breath, and Izumi turned away with a sour expression.
In her best imitation of Bette Davis, Julia muttered to herself, “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
They had driven under the Golden Gate Bridge, much to Robert’s awe, and were steadily cruising toward the Farallon Islands.
William allowed Robert to help with every aspect of running the boat that he safely could. He let Paige help, too, when she condescended to do so. Six years earlier, when Paige and Julia had gone whale watching with William, Paige had combed over every instrument and compartment, demanding to know its name and function. But now she was thirteen, and she had an image to uphold.
Luckily, William turned out to be a cunning teen-whisperer, while deftly convincing Paige it was her idea to help out.
“I can’t take the suspense anymore, Will – how come you’re better at manipulating my teenager than I am?” Julia sat beside him at the helm, while at the stern, Izumi pointed out dolphins and porpoises to the kids. Meanwhile, Stephen availed himself of every excuse to hover near Izumi.
“Don’t forget, I have two nephews,” replied William.
“Your nephews are teenagers?”
“Well, Xavier is about to turn thirteen. And does it count that I was a teenager once?”
“So was I, remember?”
“Yeah, but you were one of those goody-two-shoes teenagers.”
“You weren’t exactly a parent’s worst nightmare. Unless you’re counting a little weed.”
William cleared his throat and gestured vaguely in the direction of his own back.
“Right… and I guess an albatross tattoo. Is it still there?”
“Um – it’s a tattoo ?” He gave a little wince-shrug, inviting her to think it through.
“Well, you could have had it laser-zapped, or covered it with something else.”
“I don’t believe in erasing or covering tattoos. They’re a map of a person’s life – where they’ve been and where they’re going.”
“That’s very deep, but I’m still not letting you dodge the question.”
“What question?” But he smirked knowingly.
“The little question of how you conned my angsty teen into communicating in words, instead of grunts.”
He pondered a moment. “Maybe, like a lot of angsty teens, she’s more open to input from someone who’s not an authority figure. At least, more open than she would be otherwise. And I don’t have any authority over her.”
“For now,” blurted Julia, and her face instantly caught fire as she realized what she had alluded to.
His eyes held hers with a knowing gleam. “The point is, don’t take it personally.”
She couldn’t wipe the affectionate smile from her face, and he mirrored it with his most genuine, unguarded one – that seismic, celestial grin, with the power to rupture fault lines and ignite new suns. The grin that carried away her heart nineteen years ago.
He reached out to caress a lock of hair that escaped from her cap. The fond gesture caught her by surprise, trapping her laughter in her throat with a weird little gasp-hiccup hybrid.
How could he make her heart explode just by touching her hair , for Christ’s sake?
“Mommy, check it out! A whale!”
Robert’s summons, shouted from the stern, zapped Julia back to the moment. With a parting wink at William, she got up to join everyone at the stern – just in time to catch Izumi schooling her frown into something more neutral.
“Izumi says it’s a humpback,” Robert added.
Julia accepted Robert’s binoculars. “Yep, that’s a humpback, all right.”
“Mom,” Paige blurted, “back when you and William started this business, were you going to be the naturalist?”
Julia gripped the railing tighter as hot mortification seared her insides. “I’d like to answer that for you, Paige; but can we talk about it at home?”
Luckily, Paige shrugged her assent. Izumi offered no response apart from her intractable frown, and Robert was preoccupied with the whale.
It was an hour into their trip, and Julia was still ruminating over Izumi. By this point in life, Julia felt comfortable in her own skin, even if her brand of attractiveness wasn’t necessarily the conventional kind. But after all, here was this objectively gorgeous young woman, with whom William spent several hours a day in a confined space.
And yet, each time William looked around, his eyes zeroed in on Julia and promptly softened. Not only that, but over the course of their trip, a clear and entertaining dynamic took shape. While William stared at Julia every chance he got, Julia and Izumi both stared at William. Meanwhile, Stephen stared at Izumi, and Paige stared at Stephen.
Well , Julia thought. At least Paige isn’t leering at William anymore .
Julia upbraided herself for succumbing to old insecurities, and after she resolved to knock it off, the rest of the trip was a success. William had a knack for knowing where to find whales, and they also saw sea lions and seabirds on the Farallon Islands. They even spotted a shark, which William said was unusual at this time of year.
Izumi also proved more than competent as a naturalist. Sure, she sounded like a stoned surfer girl, but she was far brighter and more knowledgeable than her vocal quirks would suggest. Not only that, she had a great sense of humor, and by the end, Julia was genuinely starting to like her.
She had to give Izumi credit for how gamely she rallied her spirits, for the kids’ sake. She kept them engaged, and by four o’clock, when William drove the boat back into its slip, she and the kids had become fast friends. From Paige, Izumi even earned the rare epithet of “cool.”
As they prepared to disembark, Julia caught Izumi’s eye and offered a smile. “Thank you so much for everything. We had a great time.”
With a stoic expression, Izumi nodded. “You’re welcome.”
But Julia couldn’t help noticing how Izumi followed William with her eyes as he disembarked with Julia and the kids. The momentary distraction kept Julia from spotting who greeted them at the end of the pier, but when she finally did, she pulled up short.
“Alison!”
With an exuberant wave, Alison called out, “Hey, guys! I was just sitting in my apartment with nothing to do, and I suddenly had this powerful urge to spend quality time with my niece and nephew. You wouldn’t mind if I took them to dinner, would you, Julie? I’ll even hang out and put Tadders to bed,” she added, squatting to accept a hug from Robert.
God bless her . Even Paige jumped for joy at the prospect of spending an evening with Aunt Alison. Julia shot her sister a grateful look, then wrapped her in a quick hug. “You’re the best sister ever,” she whispered.
“Duh,” Alison whispered back. “I’ve been telling you that since you were born.”
After Alison left with the kids, William returned Julia’s shy smile with a knowing one of his own. “Give me and Stephen a minute to finish wrapping things up. Then, I know a great burrito place, if that sounds good.”
Julia beamed, her heart swelling as its pace quickened. “That sounds great.”
His cheeks flushed, and as he turned toward the boat, she caught him fighting a smile.
William directed Julia to the Mission, where she found the closest possible parking spot to the hole-in-the-wall taquería he pointed out. As they walked, William said, “We can bring our food back to my place, if you want. It’s just a couple of blocks away. We can eat outside, on my patio.”
Julia’s pulse tripped over itself at the idea of being alone with him – at his apartment, no less – but she nodded. William ordered their food in Spanish, and as they carried it back to his place, a weighty silence hovered between them. He led her around a corner to a block of attached Edwardian houses with bay windows, then turned down a walkway toward a cheerful turquoise house with vermilion trim. A set of steps led to the main entrance, but at the ground level, off to one side, he unlocked a black metal gate with bars. In the shadows beyond lay another door, which in turn led into a converted high basement.
“The patio is out back,” he explained sheepishly, “but we’ll have to go through my apartment to get there.”
The front door dumped them immediately into his living room, separated from the small galley kitchen by a countertop. The tops of Julia’s ears burned, but before dropping her eyes to the blond laminate wood, she registered a sofa, tufted gray and tastefully masculine, in a mid-century-modern way. A rug in similarly-muted shades of black, gray, and cream. A small flat-screen TV on a simple, glass-topped entertainment stand. Two chairs flanking an espresso-colored table, with a small potted plant at its center. Large, framed color photos on white walls – landscapes, cityscapes, and the ocean.
William drew aside the vertical blinds on the opposite wall. A sliding glass door led to his postage stamp of concrete beneath the wooden deck of the main house. A set of moveable screens offered a modicum of privacy, and he had strung cafe lights beneath the rafters.
He gestured to his cafe table, then assumed the seat opposite hers. After unwrapping her burrito, Julia cracked open the beer she had brought from the taquería, while William went back inside to retrieve a bottle of San Pellegrino and mix it with agua de jamaica .
They ate in what felt like oppressive silence. Julia blurted the first thing that came to mind.
“Where’s Diego?”
“Oh... he’s probably upstairs, with the Ochoas. I can go get him, if you want.”
Julia shrugged, peeling more foil from her burrito. “Maybe after we eat, we can take him for a walk.”
William nodded, and they lapsed into another awkward silence. She racked her brain for something to say. Anything to delay the inevitable, terrifying subject on the tip of her tongue.
For Christ’s sake, Julia; just get it over with already. She took a deep breath for courage.
Suddenly, they both started talking at once. Laughing nervously, Julia said, “You first.”
“No, that’s okay. What were you going to say?”
“I... I was just going to say I’m sorry if you felt like you had to invite me back here to eat. I would have been fine eating at the taquería, if you were more comfortable with that.”
William blinked, twice. “I was going to say something similar – I’m sorry if you felt like you had to come back here with me. I guess I thought it might be easier to talk here, without a lot of other people around.”
Julia laughed at the irony and pushed her burrito aside. She had only been picking at it, anyway. “You were right. There is something I’ve been meaning to say.”
He gaped like a deer in the headlights. With one more centering breath, she steeled herself.
“Will… I still mean every word I said, with all my heart, when I told you I’ll love you and make you happy for the rest of your life,” she began, her voice quavering, her eyes trained down at her hands folded on the table. “But I’ll understand if you feel like you rushed into things, and you’re having second thoughts. No matter what happens between you and me, I’ll always want you to be a part of Robert’s life, if that’s what you want. But I don’t want you to feel beholden to me in any way, just because of him.”
When he didn’t answer right away, she peered up at him through her lashes. His eyes were still wide as saucers, but as soon as they met hers, they softened. He reached across the table and put his hand on hers.
“I’ve been stand-offish, haven’t I?”
Wincing, Julia stammered in vain for a tactful reply.
“I’m sorry.” With his free hand, William raked his fingers through the close-cropped hair on his scalp. “I think I’m a bit overwhelmed.”
Her heart sank. She had often been too much for other people, including, sometimes, Kevin. But she had never been too much for William. “I’m–”
“No,” he blurted, squeezing her hand. “Not like that. I just...” Finally, he blew out a ragged breath and lifted his eyes to hers. They broadcast so much raw vulnerability as he quietly admitted, “I’m overwhelmed being in your presence again. Dazzled, I guess. Trust me, I’m trying, but you have me tongue-tied.”
In that moment, Julia remembered what it meant to swoon. She bit her lips, but she could no more stop the irrepressible smile than she could stop herself from loving him. Seeing it, he succumbed to his own smile of relief.
“I’ve been pretty tongue-tied, myself – which, as you know, is rare,” she admitted with a laugh. “I’ve been nervous, and I sensed your nervousness; but also... you’ve been keeping your hands to yourself a bit, and I wasn’t sure what that meant.”
He clasped her hand between both of his. “I know in the past, I’ve probably pressured you to move faster than you felt comfortable with. I didn’t want to make the same mistake, so I thought it would be better to take things slower this time. But I guess I went too far in the opposite direction and gave you the wrong impression.”
Julia went almost limp with relief, and her heart overflowed with longing. “Maybe you’re right – maybe we should take our time getting reacquainted. But I’d like to at least be able to do this ,” she added, glancing down at their clasped hands. “And to kiss you. Like, a lot. Like, maybe even make out a little.”
He laughed and tugged her hand. She came around the table to stand beside him. He pulled her down into his lap, searching her eyes to make sure that was okay.
It was more than okay. Her pulse raced out of control at just how okay it was. She stroked his hair; touched the side of his face. He pulled her to him for a kiss and pressed her hand to his heart so she could feel its breakneck speed.
Julia’s stomach swooped. After a minute, she gently broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. “I’m kind of desperately in love with you, you know.”
“I’ve always been desperately in love with you, Julie,” he whispered back.
She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. Rested her forehead against his, and stroked his face again, over his beard. For a couple of minutes, he simply gazed at her, except for the handful of times when he briefly closed his eyes and touched his lips to hers.
Then he lifted her hand, and they both watched as he gently slid his palm across hers, entwining their fingers. In return, she caressed his thumb with hers, and her pulse accelerated as she met his heavy-lidded gaze.
He cupped the nape of her neck in his warm palm and drew her in. And even though he initiated it, they both gave little sounds of surprise and pleasure at the open-mouthed kiss.
Her heart stormed her ribcage as his tongue found hers, and she drew a sharp breath through her nose. He disentangled their hands – but only to bring both palms to her cheeks. His fingers splayed, connecting with as much of her face as possible.
Her loins were in very real danger of spontaneous combustion.
After a few minutes of languid kisses, his lips traveled along her jawline. When they reached her ear, he murmured, “Are we making out now?”
It was hard to draw breath. “I’m not making out; you’re making out.”
He gave a soft little chuckle, nuzzling kisses into her neck, where a field of goosebumps bloomed. “See, this is the problem.”
“There’s a problem?”
His whisper was warm on her ear. “Trying to find some middle ground.”
There was a long-dormant fire-breathing dragon in the very pit of her. William’s suggestive tone ignited its first rumblings in six years.
Sensing danger, Julia reluctantly said, “I think… maybe… we should finish our burritos?”
He pulled back, his mouth twisting into a wry smile. “I don’t think I was doing much eating, in the first place.”
“Me neither,“ laughed Julia.
“But how do you feel about meeting the Ochoas?“
“What, now?” In spite of herself, she was half-sorry he had followed her lead in slamming on the brakes.
“I was thinking we could borrow Diego while we’re there and walk down to Dolores Park. But if you’re not ready to meet them, I can go up there myself to get Diego. ”
“Oh, I’m perfectly happy to meet them; it’s just that I don’t speak Spanish.”
“That’s okay; everyone speaks English except the grandparents. I only speak Spanish with them for the practice.”
“Practice? You don’t need practice. You sound like a native speaker to me.“
“Well, I may fool some people, but I assure you, I’m not fooling any native speakers.“
“Did you just call me a fool?“
“Absolutely.”
Julia laughed, and he signaled her to stand up by patting her backside, just as he had always done in the past. She followed him through his apartment, out the front door, and upstairs to the main porch. Inside the house, Diego had already detected their approach and was barking exuberantly.
“Who will I be meeting? Kelly’s fiancée?” wondered Julia.
“No; Pilar lives with Kelly and our mom. But you’ll meet her parents and grandparents, and Pilar’s youngest two siblings still live at home.”
He rang the doorbell, and a moment later, Diego barreled through the open door, wagging himself into a U-shape and snuffling all around Julia and William’s legs. A pretty, petite woman in her late forties or early fifties with dark skin and Afro-textured hair followed Diego onto the porch. She and William exchanged greetings in Spanish.
Then William said, “Julia, this is Delfina, Kelly’s soon-to-be mother-in-law. Delfina, this is Julia. My girlfriend.”
Julia’s heart stuttered and William’s cheeks turned pink as his last two words landed. Delfina’s brows lifted in surprise, but she smiled warmly and extended her hand. She beckoned them into the house, so they followed her past a parlor and staircase into the living room. Two men sat on the sofa, watching a soccer match on a Spanish-language channel. One was middle-aged, like Delfina, while the other was elderly.
When Julia and William entered, the men muted the TV and rose to greet them. A volley of rapid-fire Spanish zigzagged across the room as William politely addressed the wizened older gentleman, followed by the stout, mustachioed younger one. Then William gestured to Julia, and her pulse quickened again as she recognized the word novia from her college Spanish classes.
William introduced the younger man as Sergio – Delfina’s husband, and Pilar’s father. The older gentleman was Gustavo – Sergio’s father. An elderly lady emerging from the kitchen in her apron was Sergio’s mother, Socorro. And the teenage girl and boy who peeked around the corner at the unfamiliar voices were Lucía and Rafael. No thanks to her unusual amount of nerves, Julia feared she wouldn’t be able to retain all of their names.
The grandmother Socorro cast her a warm, toothless smile and repeatedly said welcome in English. Meanwhile, Delfina implored Julia and William to stay for dinner. William politely thanked her and explained they had already eaten.
“We didn’t mean to intrude; I just wanted to introduce Julia and see if we could borrow Diego for an hour or so. We’d love to take him to the park.”
“Of course!” exclaimed Delfina and Sergio in unison; and very soon, Julia and William were walking Diego down 19th Street. The sounds of the Mission drifted out to them as they strolled past the neighborhood’s open windows and doors – laughter, snippets of Spanish television, children playing, and refrains of reggaeton, cumbia, and rap. Mouth-watering fragrances wafted from Mexican taquerías and Salvadoran pupuserías along the way. They stopped to admire the vibrant murals adorning many of the buildings’ fa?ades.
Once 19th Street dead-ended into Dolores Park, they headed straight to the dog park and unleashed Diego to romp.
“The Ochoas seem sweet,” Julia remarked after a while.
“They are. Like I said, over the past six years, they’ve kind of adopted me as an honorary son. Oh, and by the way – as of about twenty minutes ago, I have strict orders from Delfina to bring you to Kelly and Pilar's wedding.”
“Oh!” Julia exclaimed, startled. “But, um...”
“And yes,” he chuckled, “Mom and Kelly already know all about you and me. They were blown away when I told them about everything you’ve been through. Long story short, they’re not holding any grudges, if that’s what you’re worried about. Far from it. They can’t wait to see you and meet Robert.”
Julia’s heart soared. “I can’t wait for that, either. But... you know we can’t tell Robert who they are to him just yet. Not until I’ve had the chance to talk to Kevin, and our therapist, and the lawyers. We have to come up with a plan for how to break the news to him.”
“I know that, and they do, too. But I’ll keep reminding them.”
“I still can’t believe your mom is the one who made all of this happen for us. When I first came to her with the idea of filing a lawsuit against your dad's health insurance, she was still furious with me. Maybe even more than you were.”
William cringed. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it was understandable, especially given the limited information she had. I’m just amazed that she changed her mind about me, even before she knew everything.”
“You know she always loved you.”
“Yeah, but that was before... everything.” She shook her head, remembering. “I’ll never forget what she said: ‘He has a good and loyal heart, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you anywhere near it again.’ I pretty well memorized those words, they stung so much.” He winced again, and she quickly added, “But you see? If it weren’t for her making you come along to the attorney’s office, you never would have found out it was me who got the ball rolling on the lawsuit.”
“And I think you’ve probably already guessed – it was no accident that I came along. Or that the info about you just accidentally slipped out during the appointment.”
Her heart leaped into her throat “Do you know that for sure?”
He smiled and nodded. “She admitted it.”
“But... why?” she breathed, in awe. “Why would she do that for me?”
“I just told you – she’s always loved you. Sure, maybe not after we broke up the second time; but she told me what you said to her.” When Julia stared blankly, he explained, “She said you told her that you loved me, but you knew you had lost me. That you weren’t trying to get anything from me; you were just trying to help my family and save my business. And everything you did after that proved it was all out of selfless love. That’s what changed her heart.”
To Julia’s dismay, her vision blurred, and tears spilled onto her cheeks before she could stop them. He took her hand and kissed it. Clasped it in both of his, and smiled down at her.
“Plus, she really, really wants to meet her grandson.”
Julia laughed self-consciously and swiped at her tears. “I never used to blubber this much. I don’t know when I became so tender-hearted. Can I blame it on having kids?”
He pulled her into him for a lingering kiss, until Diego came sniffing around their ankles, apparently bored with his canine companions. So William reluctantly released Julia, loaded a tennis ball into the dog ball launcher he had brought, and hurled volley after volley into the distance. After a while, Julia took a turn with the contraption.
William shifted his weight and gazed back out at the field, where Diego romped with his playmates again. “Mom wants to know if you and Robert and your whole family would like to come over on Mother’s Day.”
Julia gaped at him. “Really?”
“That invitation includes your sister, by the way. The Ochoas will be there, too. It starts at six, so I can be there after my Sunday trip.”
Julia considered. “My dad will be working all day, as usual; and the rest of us usually have brunch at Dunphy’s on Mother’s Day. But I don’t see why we can’t come over in the evening. I’ll check with my mom.”
He nodded, and they fell silent for a couple of minutes. Then, quietly, she asked, “Will Mike be there?”
William’s face darkened. “Kelly texted him an invitation, and after a few days he finally texted back. ‘Sorry, I have to work.’ That’s all it said.”
“I’m so sorry,” Julia offered.
He shrugged, struggling in vain to look nonchalant. “Par for the course, these days.”
“Maybe; but I can tell it still hurts you.”
He sighed heavily. “It’s probably for the best, anyway. I don’t think he’d be very good at keeping the secret about Robert. ”
“Oh… speaking of which, will you be preparing the Ochoas for that little bombshell?”
“Pilar already knows. As for the rest of them… normally I’d say let’s hold off for a while; but considering Robert is my clone, I’m not sure we can hide it.”
Julia laughed. “Considering even Izumi figured it out at first glance, I suspect you’re right.”
William cast her a bemused look. “Izumi?”
She teased him with some playful side-eye. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”
“Notice what?”
“She spent the whole day shooting dirty looks at me.” When William still stared blankly, Julia cackled. “You don’t have to play coy. Anyone with eyes can tell Izumi’s got it bad for you.”
William gaped in consternation. “Izumi doesn’t…” William’s voice trailed off. “She’s just my employee.”
“Dude, I guarantee you could have scored so hard with her.” Julia threaded her arm through his and winked up at him. “But too late now.”
“Okay – whoa.” He held up his hands for emphasis. “Let’s get something clear here. I have not, nor will I ever score with Izumi. Or any other employee, for that matter. Plus,” he added with his own wink, “Stephen already claimed dibs.”
“She’s a woman, not an auction item.”
He laughed and planted a kiss on the top of her head, then on the lips. “You’re a menace.”
“You love it.”
“I neither confirm nor deny.”
It was her turn to chuckle; but she soon turned reflective. A heavy silence fell between them, broken only when William said, “I’ll talk to the Ochoas after you go home tonight. To prepare them for Sunday.”
Quietly, Julia said, “I guess we should talk about what to expect in the months ahead. And maybe get on the same page about some things.”
William nodded knowingly.
“I’m not sure what you’re hoping for,” she added .
“What do you mean?”
“Well… for example, what kind of relationship do you want to have with Robert? What kind of support were you thinking of providing, if any?”
“I want to be his dad, with all that entails. Including support of every kind.”
Julia and William still walked arm-in-arm, and she gave his arm a squeeze. “I figured, but I didn’t just want to assume. And I want that for both of you, too. But I don’t know yet how Kevin is going to react, or what he’s going to want. He’s been less involved in Robert’s life over the past couple of years, but I know he still sees himself as Robert’s dad, and he wouldn’t want to just give that up.”
“And I’m one hundred percent cool with that. Really,” he added, at the wary look on Julia’s face. “I know that’s what’s best for Robert, and ultimately that’s all that matters. But… in the long run, I would like to be his dad, too. In every way I can. I hope we can figure out a way for him to have two dads, and for everyone to be okay with that, especially Robert.”
Julia chewed her thumbnail and gazed out at the dog park without really seeing it. “We have to go about this as sensitively as possible. Which is why I think it would be helpful if you came along with me and Kevin to the appointments with our family therapist. Because I can’t even begin to imagine how we’re going to introduce this to Robert.”
“Of course.”
Diego came back with the ball, so Julia reloaded it into the launcher and hurtled it across the field. “And what about us?”
William turned to look at her now, his face sphinx-like. “I think I should let you lead the way on that. I feel like there’s more at stake for you and the kids. For me, it’s just my heart.”
Her pulse hammering in her ears, Julia stepped toward him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he reciprocated.
“Your heart is my heart,” she said softly, scanning his eyes with her own.
His forehead creased with some intense emotion. She pulled his face down to hers for a kiss, opening her mouth just before his lips and tongue met hers. She thought she heard him make a tiny sound low in his chest – barely more than a sigh. Like maybe the tentative way their tongues explored each other turned him on a little. Just as much as it turned her on.
The sleeping dragon was definitely making her wake-up noises.
When she finally broke the kiss, she murmured, “There’s what my brain knows, and then there’s what the rest of me wants.”
“Well, as much as I’d like to start with the latter,” he said knowingly, “let’s start with your brain first.”
She laughed. “Okay; so my brain tells me we should go through the whole process first. You know – meeting with the therapist and the lawyer, and looping Kevin and Robert into the news. Letting the kids spend plenty of time around you, and seeing how that works out. My brain knows there’s so many things that can go awry in that process.”
“All right. So far, my brain agrees with your brain.”
She smiled up at him, shifting her arms tighter around his waist. “But the rest of me hears that it’s going to take months to settle all those questions. And the rest of me is impatient.”
His eyes gleamed. “Let me get this straight. By ‘the rest of me,’ what exactly are you referring to?”
She laughed again. “Well... my heart of course. And like I said, my heart is champing at the bit. My heart sees you as non-optional and non-negotiable, and to hell with any other consideration.”
“Okay, my heart lines up with your heart on that, too. So are there any other parts that make up the rest of you?”
“I neither confirm nor deny.”
His grin flashed before fading too quickly. Their arms were still looped around each other’s waists. “Julie… please don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing I’d like better in this whole entire world than to take you back to my place and make love to you like there’s no tomorrow. And I do mean absolutely nothing – except to make sure our relationship sticks this time.”
Her heart galloped, and with his explicit admission, the sleeping dragon within her opened both eyes and stirred. And yet, at the same time, her stomach sank to hear him express the hesitation she also felt.
“You’re right, of course,” she admitted, “but that’s not what I was hoping you would say. ”
He threw his head back in laughter, and as always, she watched the transformation it brought to his face with pleasure. Diego came bounding back with the tennis ball, perhaps thinking William’s laughter meant playtime. Julia squatted to accept Diego’s offering, and to pet him. William joined her shortly afterward.
After a while, he said softly, “I just really don’t want to screw this up, Julie.”
“Me neither. But also, I had a bit of an epiphany the other day. I realized my need to feel in control often had the opposite effect. Instead of increasing my happiness, it often interfered with it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… like with you, for example. Not too long after you and I met, I told my Uncle Rob about you.”
“You did?” His eyebrows lifted, and she thought he looked pleased.
“I told him I was afraid that falling in love with you would interfere with my plans to become a marine biologist. But he said, ‘Don’t be afraid of love. And don’t compromise. If it’s meant to be, the details will work themselves out.’ And when I told him I didn’t believe in ‘meant to be,’ he gave me something.”
She stood up again, and beckoned William to do the same. After launching Diego’s tennis ball, she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the polished, circular cross-section of watermelon tourmaline. After unwrapping it from its protective handkerchief, she handed it to William, who turned it over, examining it. It had a pink inner section, surrounded by a circle of white, surrounded in turn by an outer ring of green – just like a slice of watermelon.
“Uncle Rob said, ‘You make your own magic. This will help.’ I didn’t get it at the time, but after Robert was born, I looked it up. Turns out, watermelon tourmaline is supposed to unblock the barriers to your heart. It’s supposed to help bring balance. That's when I finally understood: Rob didn’t want me to hand over my own power. He just wanted me to open my mind and heart to the unexpected, and make peace with the forces that were beyond my control.
William examined the stone some more, tracing his fingertip over its polished surface. Julia bent to accept the ball Diego had returned, and she hurled it back onto the field.
“It’s beautiful,” William said, holding the stone out to her.
But Julia shook her head. “I want you to have it now.”
William’s eyes flew open wide. “I can’t take this from you. This is priceless.”
She grabbed his hand and closed his fingers around the stone. “That’s exactly why I want you to have it. That, and I don’t think I’m going to need it. I think it’s done its magic for me – at least for now.”