Chapter 17 #2
“No.” I shake my head. “I, uh…something happened to me around then that made me sympathetic to her story.” I smile softly at her. “My brother’s not as much of a romantic. I’m secretly the softie.”
Natalie rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide the blush creeping to her cheeks. She’s starting to understand how gone for her I am.
We get to one corner of the garage and Natalie shakes out a blanket and puts it out on the ledge of the roof.
I swallow. “You want to sit on there?” I point as she slowly climbs onto the ledge. The woman has the grace of a freakin’ deer taking its first steps, but she’s just climbing onto the ledge of a parking garage? Yeah okay. Try to give me a heart attack, sure.
“Yeah! It’s the best view in town!” She pats her hand on the blanket.
I stare at her. “You’re freaking afraid of elevators? But this, this is fine?”
She shrugs. “Won’t get stuck here.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll just fall to your death, so much better.”
“Wait, are you scared of heights?”
“No,” I say flatly. “I’m scared of you falling to your death.”
“He cares so much about me.” Natalie holds her hand over her heart. “I think I’ll swoon.”
“Better not,” I grumble. “You’ll swoon right off the edge of the damn building.”
“Come here, big boy. I’ll let you hold me. Or I can hold you, whatever you prefer.”
“Using my need to touch you to your advantage, that’s low even for you.”
“I just wanted to give you a nice view for your first parade,” Natalie laughs. “We can go somewhere else.”
“Like hell we will.” I put the hot chocolates down near the ledge and slowly climb next to her. It’s a fairly wide ledge. Wide enough that Natalie is sitting criss-crossed and there’s still a foot or so of concrete before the building ends, but still. “We’re alone, and you said I get to touch you.”
This time, Natalie doesn’t just laugh. She throws her head back, the laugh and smile lighting up her face so brilliantly I finally get why she brought me here. This is the best view in the town, no question.
“Do you like me or something?” she says, looking over her shoulder with a cheeky grin.
I shrug back waiting for the invitation to put my arm around her. “Or something.”
Her head falls to my shoulder.
I wrap my hand around her waist giving her a better surface to rest on.
Her breathing slows and shoulders relax.
It calms me, too. Below, people are tightly packed along Main Street.
Lighted floats wait in a parking lot by the harbor.
In the waters by the Christmas-lights-lined lighthouse, a smaller light flickers.
Natalie said that was where Santa would start his voyage.
The harbor is full of anchored boats, bobbing gently on the water.
Some of the bows have Christmas trees on them.
Some of them have wreaths. All of them have Christmas lights outlining their shapes in the darkness.
Wellsport loves itself some Christmas, that’s for sure.
“Caden texted me,” Natalie finally says.
“Oh.” It comes out small. A tiny puff of breath that crystallizes and disappears so quick in the cold. Right now, Caden’s a wildcard. He’s depressed, his future is hanging by a thread, and I can’t tell if that’s going to make him learn and grow or become more of a selfish asshole.
Our relationship has been shit for years.
The only reason I room with him is because my parents pay for our housing—we get to pocket our scholarship for room and board that way and save money for our future (if we’re smart) or spend it on…
whatever Caden’s been spending it on these days.
It’d be cool to have him back on my team for once.
Natalie sighs. “He said I should forgive you and give you a chance. He confessed he was playing a prank on you, but it went wrong, and then he begged you not to tell me.”
“Caden told you that? Really?”
“I just don’t understand why you agreed to keep silent.”
I sigh. This is one of those questions I don’t really have an answer to.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think initially it was an ego thing.
I thought the connection was so strong it’d be clear to you soon enough, anyway.
But after a while, all that became clear was that you hated me, and then it didn’t seem worth it.
I watched you enough to know you didn’t have many friends other than Caden, and I know how shitty that can be.
I didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship with Caden when you seemed so happy around him.
Besides, I still got to see you every morning, and for a while that was enough for me. ”
“Why isn’t it now? Why tell me all of this now?”
“Caden’s not coming back to school,” I say.
“So, I was going to be alone anyway,” she says.
“Yeah, and he sort of got it in his head that his leg injury is karma for everything, and he wanted to make it right.”
“Is that why you agreed to come here instead of spending Christmas with your family? For him?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t gone home over winter break since the divorce.” I keep my voice smooth and low, channeling the cocky version of myself I’ve kept as a shield around her. “I’m here for you, D’Amore. No other reason. I want you and I’m going to win.”
Natalie lifts off my shoulder and scowls. “Drop the act.”
My mask falters. “What act?”
“I’m starting to get the sense you’re hiding from me, and I don’t like it.”
“I’m not—”
“No. No more lying or I’ll put you on my shit list right next to your brother.”
I nod and clench my jaw. “You’d have to take me off it first.”
“You could be on there twice for all I care. I’m giving you a clean slate. Don’t blow it by being fake.”
In the distance, an orchestra begins to play holiday songs in the gazebo.
The first few notes of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” float to us.
The boat near the lighthouse gets closer, traveling the path to shore lined with the boats.
Meanwhile, my stomach churns like the swell of waves.
I swallow thickly. “What if you don’t like the real thing?”
“I’d like the opportunity to figure that out for myself for a change. You two have been making decisions about my life without me for a while, and it stops now. If you say you’re here for me, be here for me. Not some fake version of yourself. Okay?” She offers her hand out for a shake.
I hesitate. Tension tugs between us, like the connection is winding itself tighter. I don’t think I have a choice or the time to argue. “Okay,” I exhale and reach out for her hand.
Skin meets skin. As always, electricity runs up my arm, sending a shock through my system. Same old. Same old.
Except, Natalie jumps as if she felt something too.
Hello, hope.
I cock my head as she tries to discreetly shake her hand out at her side. “Did I shock you?” I ask.
She looks at her hand in disbelief. “Uhm. Yeah. Must be a wool-on-wool crime.”
My cheeks stretch wide as a smile rakes across my face. That’s no static shock, baby.
“You’ll get used to it,” I say, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her tight against me.
Across the way in the harbor, Santa stands and waves as the boat draws near. Something pops its head out of the water. The boat stops its engine and Santa, perched on the bow of the ship, crashes into the harbor.
I jump this time, and Natalie doesn’t react at all.
With her head rested on my shoulder, I can feel her smile spread wide. “They really should change the parade so it’s not on a Pats game day, he’s always so tipsy,” she murmurs. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used it.”
Inside I glow, the Christmas lights untangling and shining.
Natalie’s wrong. A future here, with her, would never feel ordinary to me.