Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NATALIE
“That was...” I panted, trying to regain my breath. Two orgasms and I was wrecked.
Maddox had collapsed beside me, his chest rising and falling as my heart thundered. “Fuck, I’m never leaving this bed.”
“Good plan.” I smiled as he yanked me into his side, holding me tight. I draped an arm over his abs, drawing circles in the dusting of hair on his chest as we both regained our breath. “So what happened with your ex?”
He shifted, propping his head up with an arm as the other kept me pinned to his side. “Probably something that should have happened years ago. I wasn’t nice.”
“Eeek.”
“She needed to hear it. Cece can step up or step out. But I’m done pandering to her.”
“Good. And how is Violet?”
“I love that you ask about my daughter.” He kissed my hair. “She’s good. She loves Cece, despite it all.”
“And she will. Until she’s older. ”
“I’m sorry that you had to go through that with your mother.”
I leaned up and put my chin on his chest so I could see his face. “It used to bother me. I’d get so mad, especially when I was a teenager, but every year I think about her less and less. The anger fades. The resentment. And I have Judy. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.”
Judy was ten times the mother that my real mother had been. And even though not having a mom for most of my life had been difficult at times, Dad had been enough.
The two of us had simply been waiting for Judy.
Maddox leaned forward, brushing a kiss to my lips. “We need to talk.”
“Uh-oh.”
“A good talk.” He twisted fast, forcing me to my back. Then he hovered over me, his hands tangling in my hair. “What do you say we lean into this? Lean hard.”
“What do you mean?”
“It seems crazy that we’ve only known each other for days. It feels like longer.”
“I was thinking that tonight too when we were playing games.” Like I’d always been there. Maybe the Holiday crew was simply welcoming, but we’d all clicked so effortlessly that there hadn’t been a single awkward moment.
“Good. Because I have an idea and I need you to hear me out.”
“Okay,” I drawled.
“I don’t want to hire another nanny. Violet needs me around, and I’m willing to admit that when I have a nanny, I rely too much on someone else’s help. That said, I have to work. It’s her legacy I’m building. She’ll have every opportunity in the world because of my company, and selfishly, I don’t want to give up Madcast. It’s my dream. We’ve got a long way to grow and I want to be there.”
“You shouldn’t give it up.” He’d built it and he should have the chance to see it flourish.
“My job isn’t a nine-to-five,” he said. “I need some help with Violet and as much as I love my parents, they’ve already raised their kids. I’m not putting this on them either. I hope you won’t be mad, but earlier tonight before Cathy left, I asked her what you have coming.”
“You did?”
He nodded. “She said you’re going to work for another family starting in January.”
“That was the plan. Until today.”
“What do you mean? What happened today?”
I blew out a long breath. “I’ve been thinking of making some changes too. It’s time to stop stalling. I don’t want to be a nanny my entire life. I want to get my degree and become a therapist. It might take me twenty years because I’ll probably need to work part-time too. But it’s time.”
“Then this could work.” The excitement on his face was contagious and I smiled before he even pitched this idea. “Be ours. Or friend. Or girlfriend. Whatever you want to call us. Just be ours. Mine. Violet’s. We’ll work everything around your school schedule. But I want to see you every day. And I want Violet to see you every day.”
Maybe it was crazy to jump this far into a commitment with a man I didn’t know very well. Or maybe it would be crazy to push him away.
Dad had met Judy, and in only two weeks, he’d married her. When I’d asked him why he hadn’t dated her longer, he’d told me it was because he already knew. They’d both known instantly. And neither had wanted to delay the start of their life together .
Things were different with Maddox and me. Violet wasn’t a twenty-year-old woman with a job. She was much younger, and for her, we’d have to take it slower.
But this idea . . .
“Girlfriend,” I said. “I don’t want to be the nanny. I don’t want to be paid. I don’t want anything but to see you every day. Violet too.”
Maddox moved so fast I’d barely finished my sentence when his mouth crushed mine.
I ran my hands down his spine until my palms squeezed into the curve of his ass. The honed muscle might as well have been carved from stone.
He pressed into my side, his cock hardening between us as his spicy, heady, dizzying scent surrounded me. “I want you. Not just for tonight.”
“I want you too.” This was happening so fast but I didn’t want to slow down. I was diving into Maddox, stroke after stroke, swimming toward the deep end of the ocean.
“Natalie,” he whispered into my ear as he shifted, dragging his erection through my center before rocking inside.
I wrapped my arms around his strong back, feeling the muscles bunch beneath my hands. I spread my legs wider, circling his hips as my body stretched around him. My God, he was addicting. It shouldn’t be this good so soon. It felt as if we’d been lovers for years, decades, not an hour.
“You feel so good, Nat.” He pulled out only to slide inside again. Maddox’s hands drifted down my ribs, his touch dragging sparks across my skin. He skimmed my hips and my thighs. He gripped the backs of my knees, pressing me apart as he came up onto his knees, staring down at me.
Our gazes locked as he thrust forward, hitting that place inside that made my toes curl. Move after move, he worked us together, his hips like pistons, until my legs were shaking and I writhed beneath him, a slave to his stamina.
“Maddox, I’m—” The words died on my tongue as the orgasm raced through my body, consuming every inch. Stars broke in my eyes and I cried out, surrendering to the man who was turning my life inside out.
“Fuck,” Maddox hissed as I pulsed around his length.
My orgasm loosened its hold enough that I managed to crack my eyes open in time to see Maddox squeeze his shut and surrender to his own release on a groan.
I could watch this every freaking day and twice on Sunday. His muscles glistened with sweat as he poured himself inside of me. His handsome face barely illuminated from the window’s muted light.
But he was mine.
Tonight, Maddox Holiday was mine.
Maybe this was fast. Maybe it was reckless and a little crazy. But there was something here. Something powerful and something worth holding on to.
Something to chase.
Maddox collapsed onto the bed, wrapping me in his arms. His heartbeat hammered against my own, his breaths a short staccato against the skin of my neck.
And I clung to him, not wanting him to let go. Not yet.
“Maddox.” My voice shook as I breathed his name. From the orgasm. From the wave of emotion crashing over us both.
He leaned back, our bodies still connected, and met my gaze. His fingertips brushed the hair from my face. “What?”
“Do you feel this?”
“Yeah, Nat. I feel it.”
I smiled, swallowing the lump in my throat. Shoving aside tears of joy as I leaned up and kissed him.
Maddox Holiday .
The boy who’d been my crush.
The man who’d win my love.
“I’ll see you later.” Maddox dropped a kiss to my lips. “Give me until nine.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Dealing with Cece was inevitable but I was hoping to avoid it for a while longer.
“She’ll be gone.” He kissed me again.
“Okay. Bye.” I stood in the doorway, the cold seeping through my pajamas, but I wanted to watch him drive away. So I clutched my coffee mug, shivering, and waiting until he waved from the driver’s seat of his SUV and pulled away from the curb.
It was still dark outside at four in the morning, but Maddox had wanted to leave early so that Violet wouldn’t catch him coming home and wonder where he’d slept last night.
The moment his taillights disappeared around the block, I retreated to the warmth of my house. I settled on my couch and turned on the TV. I went straight for the Madcast app to re-watch the most recent season of State of Ruin .
Five minutes into my episode, I went in search of my phone. I doubted he was home yet, but I texted Maddox anyway.
What are the chances I can get early access to State of Ruin’s last season?
He didn’t type a reply but, a second later, my phone vibrated in my hand.
“Is this why you’re sleeping with me?” he asked.
“Who slept?” He’d woken me twice for sex and we’d done it again this morning before he’d climbed out of bed and dressed in yesterday’s clothes .
“Good point.” He chuckled. “I’ll send you the login info if you keep it a secret.”
“Yes.” I fist-pumped. “Are you home?”
“Just about.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
“Bye, babe.”
I smiled, hung up and snuggled under a blanket as I waited for the sun to rise so I could make my next phone call.
Actually, two phone calls.
My stomach was in a knot, the dread making me sick, but at promptly eight o’clock, I dialed Cathy’s number.
“Tell me that you’ve changed your mind and you’ll be going to watch Violet Holiday today.”
“I’m going to go watch Violet Holiday today.”
“Phew.” She blew out a long breath. “She’s a sweet girl but it’s been a long time since I’ve had to entertain a seven-year-old. It was exhausting.”
I smiled, loving that Violet had taken it easy on Cathy yesterday.
“What made you change your mind?” she asked.
“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”
“No. Oh, Natalie. No.”
“I’ll finish out my week with Violet, but please consider this my resignation. I’m going to go to school.”
The other end of the line was quiet for a long moment. Then she sighed. “I knew this call was coming. You’re too smart and too driven to do this job forever. But I just hate to lose you.”
My eyes flooded. I always cried at endings. “I’m sorry for the short notice.”
“No, it’s fine. You’re in between families and this gives me time to juggle before you were supposed to start with the new family in January.”
“Thank you, Cathy. For everything. ”
“Same to you, Natalie. Let’s meet for coffee soon.”
“I’d like that.”
I hung up the phone, wishing I felt lighter. But quitting a job I’d had for years to start school was a fear of its own. What if I hated it? What if I failed?
What if I didn’t?
The physical therapist I worked with in town had always encouraged me to consider school. He knew I loved being in the pool. Swimming had become a hobby as a kid, my dad taking me whenever he’d had a free minute in the summers. Then I’d become a lifeguard in high school and captained the swim team.
It would take me years to get my undergraduate degree, and that was only the beginning.
But today felt like the right first step.
It was time to say goodbye to nannying. Time to pursue a dream.
Time to let go of the past.
Which brought me to my next phone call.
“Hi, this is Natalie Buchanan,” I said to the receptionist at the garage where Magdalena was being fixed. “This is going to seem strange since I was so anxious to get her fixed, but... I need to sell my bus.”