Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
STELLA
Two days wasn’t exactly a long time to keep a secret. Okay, it was nothing. Two days was nothing.
But I really, really hated keeping secrets.
After Heath had asked me if I could keep a secret, of course I’d lied and said yes. I mean... what was my other option? Kick him out? Deny him sex? Absolutely not.
This secret might be torturing me, but I’d endure it for the orgasms alone.
Last night, Heath had stayed over, exhausting me with his fingers and tongue and cock. But tonight, we were switching beds, and he was cooking me dinner at his house.
I hurried around my bedroom, rushing to pack a bag. It rested on the foot of my bed, overflowing. So far I’d grabbed a change of clothes for tomorrow. A plum, sheer negligee I’d splurged on this afternoon at the mall. My toiletries were stuffed in a travel case along with my hair dryer because my hair wasn’t the type that air-dried well. Then there was my makeup and brushes .
I stared at the bag and the curling wand in my hand, debating adding it to the mix.
Or I could get a suitcase. In my suitcase, it would all fit, no problem. I wanted to be comfortable. But Heath had been a saint so far, not getting spooked by my talk of the future. If I showed up with a suitcase, it might be the final straw.
This was the type of dilemma I’d normally run by Wendy. She’d called me four times in the past two days, trying to catch up. I’d avoided her at every call. Because the minute I spoke to her, I’d spill. So calling my best friend wasn’t an option.
The suitcase-versus-backpack quandary was one I’d have to solve myself.
I’d avoided Guy just as deliberately as I had Wendy. He’d showed up at lunch today. I’d hidden beneath a blanket on the couch and held my breath until he’d finally stopped ringing the doorbell and left.
I couldn’t avoid them forever. We couldn’t keep this a secret forever. Didn’t Heath want to tell people? Because I was ready to shout it from rooftops.
Heath Holiday was having sex with me.
That sentence would sound great from the top of my lungs.
Heath was the greatest kisser in the world. How did I know this? Because he was kissing me.
Heath was an excellent snuggler. A fact I’d verified after he’d slept in my bed.
Heath. Was. Mine.
Mine.
God, I wanted to tell someone. Anyone. Then maybe I’d actually believe this was happening.
“I’m spending the night at Heath’s house.”
Saying it to my empty bedroom wasn’t quite as therapeutic as I’d hoped. Oh, well. Keeping a secret for a few more days would give us a chance to feel this out. Heath and I could decide together when to bring friends and family into the mix.
A few more days, then we could tell Guy. When we were sure.
Except I hadn’t asked Heath how long this would be a secret. He wouldn’t want this to go on for too long, right? No way.
And if this didn’t work, well... it would be best if Guy didn’t know.
My stomach churned at the idea of a breakup.
I studied the curling wand again. While I had him, I was at least going to have good hair, so I tossed it into the pile, then worked to stuff everything into the backpack. I had to sit on it to get the zipper closed and it bulged at the seams.
It was dark beyond the windows as I shrugged on my coat, the winter days short. I loaded up, my bag straining my shoulders, and rushed to my car.
The drive across town to Heath’s house was slow, the clouds that had been hanging over town all day finally opening up to dump a fresh coat of snow, and my tires crunched on the quiet streets as I navigated Heath’s neighborhoods.
This was one of the best areas in Bozeman. Heath had built his house on a large corner lot, giving himself some distance from the house next door. Three blocks from here was an elementary school.
I imagined kids wearing backpacks nearly as heavy as mine walking down these safe sidewalks, meeting up with their friends along the way. That’s how it had been in my youth. Guy and I would leave our house first, stopping to collect Heath, Tobias and Maddox on the way to school. The boys would walk ahead, though sometimes, Heath would hang back and walk beside me instead .
All those years ago, from the time I’d been just a little girl, and I’d never stopped hoping he’d walk by my side.
I smiled as I parked, collected my bag and made my way to the door. Before I could knock, he was there, a sexy smile on that handsome face.
“Hi.” He reached for my backpack, taking it from my arm. “I figured you would have brought a little suitcase.”
My mouth parted. “How did you know?”
He chuckled and waved me inside. “Because you don’t carry a purse. You carry a tote. I’ve never once seen you pack light. Remember that weekend when your parents were going out of town for their anniversary and you guys stayed with us? You brought three bags for one night.”
“I don’t know how to pack light.”
“You don’t have to pack light.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “Not for me. Bring whatever you want. I’ll haul it inside.”
My heart skipped. I wasn’t sure what to say so I rose up on my toes to brush my mouth against his, then stepped inside.
The house smelled like Heath, spicy and male and clean.
“Give me your keys.” He held out his hand.
I placed them in his palm. “Why?”
“I’m going to park your car inside. Keep it out of the snow.”
Or keep it secret? I shook that thought away, irritated at myself that I’d assume his kind gesture was to hide us. “Here you go.”
“Be right back.” He set my backpack aside, then walked for the door. “Make yourself at home.”
“Okay.” I waited until he was outside, then wandered into the house.
When I’d been here on Christmas Eve, I’d been too busy kissing Heath to look around. And the morning after, when I’d snuck out, I’d lingered by the door, watching for my Uber .
As expected, Heath’s home was as classy as the man himself.
Rich wood pieces and buttery leather furniture filled the living room. Maple cabinets hugged the kitchen’s walls, circling a black, granite island. The charcoal walls and coal rugs added to the moody, manly vibe.
I could live here. Definitely.
“Getting ahead of yourself again.” I giggled, walking to the kitchen.
On the counter closest to the gas range rested a cutting board and knife along with a tomato and box of baby spinach.
The garage door hummed as it closed on the other end of the house, then Heath strode into the main room. He went straight for my backpack still by the front door, winking at me as he carted it down the hallway toward his bedroom.
When he returned, he walked right to me, taking my face in his hands to kiss me. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Thanks for coming over.”
I smiled. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m not the best cook.”
“Want some help?”
“No, you sit.” He nodded to the barstools at the island. “Wine?”
“Sure.”
Uncorking the bottle and pouring us each a glass was the only thing Heath didn’t fumble with in the kitchen.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing when he went to slice the tomato and half of it rolled to the floor. I stayed quiet when he read the instructions meticulously on the box of uncooked fettuccini noodles. But when he took out the chicken breasts from the fridge and realized they were still frozen, I couldn’t help it anymore and slid off my seat .
“Shit.” He shook his head. “I took these out this morning. Guess I should have done it last night. How do you feel about pizza delivery?”
“Orwe can improvise.” I joined him beside the cutting board, stealing the knife from his hand. “Do you have any mushrooms or broccoli?”
“Both, actually.” He retrieved them from the fridge.
“Perfect. Put a pot of water on the stove to boil and add a bit of salt.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Heath gave me a mock salute, and after I rescued dinner, we returned to the island with bowls of creamy pasta primavera.
He forked a bite and moaned. “This is awesome.”
I shrugged. “Mom’s a great cook. I always liked helping her.”
“You have her talent. This summer I’ll wow you with my grilling skills.”
“This summer?” Would we be together this summer?
He met my gaze, his locked with mine, and answered my unspoken question. “This summer.”
I smiled through the meal and while I watched Heath do the dishes. Then we retreated to the living room, cuddling on the couch.
“Want to watch something?” he asked.
“Sure. You pick.”
He reached for the remote, turning on the TV just as a flicker of headlights came through the front window.
We froze, listening for a long moment, but then he shot off the couch.
“Damn,” he said, glancing out the windows.
“What?” I stood but didn’t follow him toward the glass. “Is it Guy?”
“It’s Tobias.” He raked a hand through his hair .
“Oh.”
He turned and gave me a pained look. “I’ve been trying to talk to him.”
“You should. I can go.”
“Would you mind just... hiding in the bedroom?”
My mouth parted. I had to hide? Of course, I had to hide. I was a secret. “Um, yeah. Okay.”
I took a step to head that way, but Heath stopped me. “Don’t forget your glass.”
“Right.” I picked it up from the end table because we couldn’t have any evidence I was here. Good thing he’d already stowed my overnight bag.
“Sorry, Stell.”
“It’s fine,” I lied with too much cheer. Then before he could see my face fall, I hurried down the hallway and eased the bedroom door shut.
“Hey.” Heath’s voice carried from the front door as he opened it for Tobias. “What’s going on? I’ve been calling you.”
“Yeah.” Tobias stomped his feet, then from the sound of their steps, walked to the kitchen. “Got any more of that wine?”
That was my wine he was drinking.
I frowned and slunk to the bed, sitting on the edge. The plush comforter was the same shade of gray as the walls in the living space. The pillows were fluffed against the headboard made from narrow slats of wood, each stained in different colors like a small-scale version of barnwood.
Another beautiful, masculine room. Though it needed color. The whole house could use more color.
God, I felt like a fool. Sitting in here alone, thinking some ruby-red toss pillows would add some charm to Heath’s room.
This secret thing was supposed to be for Guy. Why did we need to hide from Tobias? Why not just tell him we were together? Unless Heath was worried that Tobias would slip. Guy and Tobias weren’t as close as Heath and my brother, but they were all friends. Or maybe it was a work thing. Maybe it was frowned upon for intra-office relationships.
Probably something I should have asked Heath before sleeping with him. Sorry, not sorry.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Heath asked Tobias.
It was impossible not to eavesdrop. But if Heath didn’t want me to listen, he should have sent me to the garage for an escape. There was nothing to do but sip my wine as their voices carried my way.
“You remember Eva?” Tobias asked Heath.
“Yeah.”
There was a long pause. “She’s pregnant.”
I sat up straight.
Heath choked, coughing to clear his throat. “What?”
“She’s pregnant. We hooked up a few months ago. I guess the condom broke because she showed up on Christmas Eve to tell me she was pregnant.”
“That’s why you weren’t at the party.”
“Yeah,” Tobias muttered.
So focused on Heath and my champagne, I hadn’t realized Tobias had been missing from the party.
“So what now?” Heath asked. “Is she keeping the baby? Are you guys getting back together?”
“She’s moving to London.” Tobias’s voice was thick like he struggled to speak the words. “She leaves on New Year’s.”
“Fuck,” Heath hissed.
My hand came to my heart, rubbing at the ache. I knew Eva. We’d met in college when she and Tobias had been together. The few parties when Guy had invited me along—I’d always gone in the hopes of seeing Heath—she’d been there too.
Eva was gorgeous and smart. She was one of the most driven women I’d ever met. The two of us had lost touch after she and Tobias had broken up—I wasn’t sure why they’d called it quits because they’d always been great together. But shortly after their graduation, I’d heard from Guy that she’d moved away from Montana.
I guess at some point she’d come back.
And now she was having Tobias’s baby. Whoa .
“I don’t know what to do,” Tobias confessed. “I just... I can’t even wrap my head around this.”
“You will,” Heath promised. “Give it time. Talk to her. You guys will figure this out.”
“I’ll miss it. I’ll miss it all because she’ll be halfway around the world.”
“Go with her,” Heath said.
Tobias scoffed. “My life is here. Mom. Dad. You. Hell, even Maddox is moving home.”
“We’re your family no matter where you live, brother.”
The affection in Heath’s voice melted my heart. I wasn’t crazy about sitting here, feeling like I was intruding on a personal conversation. But to hear Heath, it reminded me of all the reasons why no one had ever measured up.
He loved his family. He loved his friends.
“What about work?” Tobias asked. “Dad’s going to retire before too long. Then it will be ours.”
“There’s no reason you have to live here to help run the company. You’re in your office most days as it is. We’ll get Maddox to buy you your own plane as a baby shower gift. God knows he can afford it.”
I smiled, hoping that Tobias had one on his face too.
“I don’t want to leave Montana,” Tobias said. “When I think about having a family, raising a kid. This is where that needs to happen. Eva... she travels everywhere. She doesn’t even have a permanent address. ”
Another long pause and I knew where this conversation was going.
My heart twisted again.
If Tobias wanted to stay here, either he’d have to convince Eva to give up her life or...
He’d have to fight for their child. He’d have to fight to keep the baby here.
“She’ll hate me.” Tobias’s voice was so quiet I strained to hear. “If I push to keep the baby here, she’ll hate me. But I don’t want my child living out of temporary homes. Being passed from nanny to nanny. I don’t want to see my kid every other weekend and holiday.”
“You need to talk to Eva.” There was a clap, like Heath had put his hand on Tobias’s shoulder. “I know you both will want the best for your kid. You’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah.” Tobias blew out a long breath. “How about a refill?”
The cork plunked out of the bottle and I heard the unmistakable glug of a glass being poured.
“Want to watch a game or something?” Tobias asked. “I’m not quite ready to head home. I need to think of what to say to Eva first.”
“Oh, uh . . .” Heath hesitated. “Sure.”
I groaned and brought my own glass to my lips, gulping the rest of my wine. As the TV volume turned on, I set the empty glass aside and flopped back on the bed, staring at the white ceiling.
This was dumb. I felt like an idiot hiding in Heath’s room. But it was too late to come out now. What would I say?
Oh, hi, Tobias. Sorry to hear about Eva. Congrats on the baby.
Maybe we could have made an excuse for me being here when Tobias had arrived. A work question or something to do with Guy. But it was too late now, so my only choice was to hide here.
And wait.
Thirty minutes passed. Tobias stayed. Then an hour. Then two.
“Stella.” A hand on my shoulder shook me awake.
I jolted up, forgetting for a moment where I was. I’d fallen asleep waiting for Tobias to leave. “Is he gone?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
I pushed up on an elbow, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. It was after midnight.
“He wanted to stay for a game. I don’t know if you heard or not?—”
“I did. Sorry. It was sort of hard not to listen.”
“It’s fine. Saves me from rehashing it all. Anyway... I didn’t want to kick him out.”
“I get it.”
“So much for dinner and a movie, huh? I’m sorry. We should have just told him you were here.”
“He probably needed to talk and wouldn’t have if I was there.” I gave him a sad smile. “Should I go?”
“No. Stay. Please.”
“All right.”
The guilt on his face eased my stinging pride. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Except it didn’t feel okay. Because he might be sorry, but I had this awful feeling that it wouldn’t matter.
And that come tomorrow morning, I’d still be his secret.