Chapter 9 #4
“Don’t make me slap you. First of all—“ She went back to ticking off fingers. “All the Hawthornes are secretly in love with you. Everyone knows it and so does Greyson, which is why he’s always told them you’re off limits.
I’ll die on that mountain, and if you deny it, you’re as much of a liar as he is.
Second—“ Another finger went up. “Greyson goes nuts whenever anyone shows any interest in you. He’s the worst of all of them. And C, he’s prime male lead material—strong, independent, silent, pensive. .. Gah! They’re the best ones.”
Wren laughed despite herself. “You think?”
“Absolutely! If I were to write him into one of my Viking novels, I’d name him something like Gunner the Broody. He exudes moody recluse vibes. Very hot. Women eat that shit up.”
They shared a moment of silence to sit back and sip their peanut butter cocktails, picturing Greyson’s handsome body under all that emotional intensity.
Wren smiled, recalling how entranced she had been by the sight of him without his shirt, all muscle and scars and masculine beauty.
She was so much calmer than she’d been minutes ago and realized why.
“Good call on the whisky.”
“Right?” Jocelyn turned the bottle to admire the label. “Speaking of protein, are you gonna blow him?”
Wren choked as a sip went down the wrong pipe. Gasping and sputtering, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “There’s something wrong with you.”
Jocelyn laughed. “One hundred percent. But can you imagine him staring down at you with that predatory smolder? Girl, you need to get him inside of you one way or another.”
“It’s not like I live a celibate life by choice.”
“There’s always a choice, Wren. You could have had a road-banger take your cherry years ago. I think part of you always wanted to save it for…a special Hawthorne.”
She shot her an unimpressed look. They both knew there was only one Hawthorne she ever fantasized about that way. “What the hell’s a road-banger?”
“You know, a rando, someone who gets the job done but never learns where you live.”
“Gross. I still have standards, Joce.”
She didn’t need her first time to be with The One but she also didn’t want it to be with a meaningless stranger.
Truthfully, Greyson was always supposed to be her first. He’s the only one she ever pictured.
When that didn’t happen, she figured he just needed more time.
So she pushed herself a little longer, then a little longer, then. .. a little longer.
“What if it never happens?”
“It’s happening!”
Wren sighed, not sharing her friend’s optimism or confidence. “What can I do?”
“What can you do? Wren, honey, you’re beautiful. You’ve got tits and a great ass. Use them.”
“To do what?”
Jocelyn pinched the bridge of her nose. “For the love of orgasms, read some romance. Help yourself to anything in my library.”
“This isn’t fiction. It’s real life, Joce.”
“Real life can be hot and romantic too, Wren.”
“How? How do I make it hot when he still sees me as off limits?”
“This sort of reminds me of chapter twenty-three of Ravished by the Fjord King.”
“That doesn’t help me.”
“You’re dealing with a slow-burn romance. The excruciating sort, since I’m pretty sure he’s carried a torch for you since kindergarten.”
“No, he hasn’t.”
Jocelyn rolled her eyes. “He absolutely has, Wren. I’ve watched him watching you. The man is completely enamored by you. Why do you think he’s always hanging around The Haven?”
“He’s our contractor.”
“When’s the last time he accepted money for any of the work he’s done?”
“What do you mean? I pay him.”
Jocelyn gave a disbelieving look. “Really? Has he cashed the checks?”
“Of course, he has.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t like she reviewed every statement with a fine-tooth comb, but she wrote the checks, and he took them. “I mean, wouldn’t the bank notify me if he didn’t?”
“The bank wouldn’t know the checks even existed if he didn’t deposit them.”
She frowned. “That’s ridiculous. Why wouldn’t he cash the checks I pay him?”
“Because he’s in love with you.”
“He is not, Joce!”
“See if he cashed them. Where’s your phone?”
“I’m not going to check—“
“Because you know there’s a chance I’m right!”
“Fine.” Wren pulled out her phone and logged into her bank app while grumbling, “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”
Jocelyn sat back and swirled the rocks in her glass. “I keep your life spicy. I’m like a vitamin that gives you a little edge. You need me for moments like this when your sweet, little granola vibe isn’t savage enough to get the job done.”
Wren rolled her eyes.
Once logged into her business account, she scrolled down. “I just paid him last week for plowing the parking lots, but he probably hasn’t deposited that check yet.”
“I’m sure that’s it,” Jocelyn said dryly. “Go back a few months. When did you pay him for the studio fit-out?”
That was September. She scrolled back, reviewing each statement for images of checks cashed. She saw deposits from the food supplier’s checks, the plumber’s, the vet bills, the payroll checks for the massage therapists and estheticians, but nothing cashed for Greyson Hawthorne.
Her stomach twisted. She went back further. In June, he’d done some work on the Zen garden for her. That was a few thousand dollars. “What the hell?”
“Find anything yet?”
Not a single check had been cashed. Her fist tightened around her phone as she lowered her hand. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Because I’m right?”
“You’re not right... I mean, yes, he hasn’t cashed any of the checks, but you’re wrong about him being in love with me. It’s because he doesn’t need the money.”
“Really? That’s what you’re taking from this? Chalking it up to him being a Hawthorne?” Jocelyn tsked. “How the hell are we ever going to get him inside of you if you keep making excuses?”
“I’m not making excuses!”
“Wren—” She sat up and set her whiskey aside so she could grip her shoulders and look her in the eye. “I love you, honey, but sometimes a girl has to take the Viking by the horns.”
“I can’t with Greyson. He’ll see it as manipulation. The moment anyone tries to control him, he purposely goes in the opposite direction.”
“Then that leaves you one other option.”
“Which is?”
“You’re gonna have to fuck the yogi.”
She scrunched her nose. “How is that the solution?”
“You said you can’t go there with Logan.”
“True, but Noah does nothing for me. He’s sweet and handsome enough, but he’s just not my type.”
“Then Soren.”
“No.” She, once again, thought of the kiss, the way he’d looked at her like she was something precious and carnal. Something about Soren felt…dangerous.
Jocelyn snickered. “I see Soren’s not an instant no.”
But he was. She couldn’t go there with him. Not unless she was really considering his offer. Maybe she was so afraid of Soren, because part of her was considering it. “No, I can’t.”
“I think you don’t want to involve Soren because there’s a chance you might actually like him.”
She pressed her lips tight, and Jocelyn gasped.
“I knew it! Ooh, it’s that billionaire energy. He’s so cocky in all the right ways.”
“I don’t care about his money.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about his essence. Soren goes after what he wants, and he doesn’t stop until he gets it. He’s the total opposite of Greyson.”
“That’s very true.” And, according to what he’d said last night, he wanted Wren, not just as a girlfriend or possibly a future wife, but he was actually attracted to her. And it felt really nice to feel wanted. “We did have some chemistry.”
“Yassssss! Tell me more.”
Wren couldn’t shake the strange guilt that lingered whenever she tried to surmise her feelings for Soren. She couldn’t stop seeing him as ‘Greyson’s brother,’ which was crap.
“It’s just nice to be pursued,” she admitted. “He doesn’t play games. He’s into me.”
“Are you into him? Not just to piss off Greyson, but is this an actual competition?”
“I... I don’t know.”
“Oh, shit. Okay. I didn’t realize you were feeling things where he was concerned. I thought it was just about the kiss.” Jocelyn picked up her whiskey and tucked her legs under her knees. “Let’s talk Soren. Besides being a good kisser, what made you feel attracted to him on your date?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t at first, but by the end there was a spark. We definitely have a special connection. He knows me. I know him. He’s handsome. Thoughtful. And, of course, there was the kiss.”
“Yup. Yup. Does Greyson know there was a kiss?”
“No.”
“You should tell him.”
“I can’t do that!”
“I can.”
“Joce, don’t.”
She waved away her warning. “You need to go out with Soren again and see if there’s actually something there.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. We have a second date scheduled, but I still feel like I’m doing something wrong whenever we cross that line.”
“That’s because it’s a line you’ve been told not to cross your entire life. That’ll fade once you get to know his dick.”
Wren snorted. “There you go again.”
“I mean it, Wren. This might just come down to who has the nicest penis.”
She ignored her. “Soren wants a traditional marriage. I like my independence too much to even consider such a thing. He also wants a lot of children. My plate’s already full with The Haven.”
“You can do both. Plenty of moms own their own businesses. Plus, it really pisses off the patriarchy, so it’s a win-win.”
“Moms are important. I’d want to be there for my kids.”
“You don’t have to be at home twenty-four-seven to be a good mother, Wren.”
“True, but... I don’t know. Long-term is a scary thing to predict. What if it doesn’t work out and everything gets wrecked? I can’t lose the Hawthornes. They’re my boys. My family.”
Jocelyn nodded, recognizing the risk. “But you’re not ruling it out?”
Wren slowly winced. “No?”
“Atta girl!”
Embarrassed, she covered her face and groaned. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering this!”
“I can. And, I think you should give Logan another shot.”
“What? My life is already complicated enough.”
“I’m just going to say it, Wren. You’re not going to let them lose the company.”
Wren did a double take. That was not at all what she’d expected her to say. “Jocelyn, I can’t take responsibility for what Magnus does with his legacy.”
“No, but we both know, in the end, you’ll help them any way you can. You always do. They’re your boys. You even have that stupid Goonies name you call yourselves—the wilderness gang or whatever it is.”
She smiled. “The Wildlings.”
“Whatever. My point is, if they’re desperate and you can save them, you will.
Even if it comes down to Logan being the one who wants it most. Maybe you have a lavender marriage, and the spice isn’t off the charts, but you’d still be married to one of your best friends. That’s more than most people get.”
She shook her head, unable to picture such a thing.
“My advice is to get cozy with the idea of becoming a Hawthorne. One of them is getting to Level Two. Why not take them all for a test drive—”
“No.”
She held up her hands. “I’m not suggesting reverse harem. But there’s nothing wrong with a little heavy petting and kissing before making a commitment.”
“I’m not like you, Joce. This is all brand new territory for me. And it’s delicate because they’re my boys. I don’t want to hurt them.”
“They hold some accountability in this, too, you know.”
“I know. It’s just…” The truth finally occurred to her. She met her friend’s stare and shrugged. “I want love.”
Jocelyn leaned over and squeezed her hand. “We all do, sweetie. Your problem isn’t finding love. Your problem is that you already love them. And they each love you in their own weird little Wildling Hawthorne way.”