13. Trevor
13
TREVOR
“ M aybe we can see each other again soon? Just give me a call whenever you’re free.” Gracelyn holds out a scrap of paper with her name and number on it, but I don’t take it.
We’ve been standing outside Kayla’s apartment for nearly ten minutes now. I’ve been ready to go home since long before now, but I haven’t been able to find a way to extricate myself from Gracelyn’s attention without being rude.
I’m beginning to think there’s no way around it.
“Gracelyn, you’re really nice, but…” Her face falls but I push forward, fighting against the urge to reassure her. Honesty is the best thing I can offer her. “I don’t think we’re a good fit.”
“Why not? I thought we were having a great time together.” Her voice trembles and I think I see her eyes shining with unshed tears under the parking lot lights.
“I did have a nice time, it’s just…there’s someone else. And I don’t want to lead you on.”
“I see.” Gracelyn pulls in a deep breath and clears her throat. “I’m sorry I misunderstood. ”
“I’m sorry, too,” I say. “I really do think you’re nice. I enjoyed talking to you.”
“Thanks. And thanks for being honest with me.” She sniffs. “Well, I guess this is where I let you go.”
I extend my hand and we shake. “Have a safe trip home, Gracelyn. Merry Christmas.”
She nods and gets into her car.
As I get into my own vehicle and drive away, I can’t stop thinking about Kayla. She looked gorgeous tonight in her red sweater and slim, dark jeans. Her green tasseled earrings, layered to look like Christmas trees, stood out against her blonde hair and gave her a festive look. All evening I kept wishing there was mistletoe somewhere that I could catch her under.
I wonder if she feels the same way. Until tonight, I thought we had a connection. Now, I’m not so sure.
I thought I caught her watching me a few times throughout the night, but she seemed content to set me up with Gracelyn. To be fair, I meant what I said to Gracelyn about enjoying our conversation. The tips Kayla gave me definitely worked. I asked her plenty of questions and tried to find common subjects to connect over. I guess you might say it worked a little too well, given how quickly Gracelyn’s feelings seemed to escalate tonight.
My biggest regret is that I didn’t seek Kayla out tonight. I should have made the effort to go find her instead of waiting for her to come to me. I wanted to spend the evening with her, ask her if she’d read Timeline yet, find out more about her outside of our holiday project. This afternoon, I spent quite a bit of mental energy psyching myself up to be ready to ask her out.
But once I settled into a conversation with Gracelyn, I got too comfortable and just stayed where I was. Like, I physically didn’t move from the corner I claimed when I first got there.
I rub my hand over the back of my neck. I can’t go back and do it over, but I can do better next time. And next time will be this Friday. Now that the set is done, there’s nothing to hold me back.
I make a promise to myself.
Before Friday night ends, I will tell Kayla how I feel. And I will ask her out on a real date. I don’t know how she’ll respond. I’ll probably spend most of the week making brain dump lists to try to calm my anxiety and stop the overthinking cycle, but I can’t let that stop me. All I can do is take the leap and hope I don’t land on my face.