Chapter 33
Noelle
Iburst out the door into the icy air, my breath coming in frantic gasps. The hail had stopped, but the sidewalks were crunchy, dark clouds still hanging low.
Fredrik didn’t follow me outside. He must have been too hurt to move. I didn’t know where to go, but my legs carried me to the Christmas store, the only place that still felt like mine. I could lock the door, hide, and think.
But someone was already there. A small figure crouched by the entrance, bundled in a white wool hat and beige coat with a small suitcase next to her. When she lifted her head, relief flooded me.
“Grace! What are you doing here?”
“Oh, thank God! I couldn’t find you!” She leaped up and hugged me tight. “I thought, if I waited here long enough, you’d show up. You live here, right?”
I took a deep breath, trying to push down the tears that welled behind my eyes. Too much was happening today with no time to process any of it. I could feel the telltale signs of an anxiety attack in my gut.
Maybe it was good that I wasn’t alone. Grace would understand.
I unlocked the door, and we piled inside.
“It’s so small!” Grace spun around, peering at the half-empty shelves.
I was supposed to keep the store open for another two days, but I had little left to sell, and now I couldn’t even stomach the idea of opening my doors for business.
“It’s been lovely,” I assured her. “Absolutely perfect. Thank you so much!”
Grace took one look at my face, and I knew she wasn’t buying a word I said. She marched into the back room and surveyed the tiny bed and table. “Okay. This is not an apartment, and you clearly haven’t been staying here. What’s the deal?”
I sat on the bed, making the springs shriek.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s not a big deal, and I didn’t want you to worry.
Mr. Young told me I couldn’t live here, so I’ve been staying in Fredrik’s bookstore.
He has a room upstairs. And a bathroom. To be honest, I’ve been staying in his house, too. He’s been so nice…”
“Wait… why are you crying? What happened?”
I couldn’t hold it together anymore. My body shook as I fought to draw in enough oxygen between the wails. Grace sat next to me, muttering about how awful the bed was.
“I… I was just there and…” Between sniffs and hiccups, I told the story of the Pulla Appreciation Day and how I’d been seeing Fredrik, first as friends with benefits and then as something more.
“And now I can’t even face him,” I finished. “I caused this awful scene, and Spencer is going to sue him. He’ll destroy him. But maybe, if I go far away again and break all contact, he’ll lose interest in Fredrik. He’s only going after him to punish me.”
Grace listened, rubbing her hand up and down the back of my fluffy coat like she was comforting a bunny rabbit. “You’re in love with this guy?”
“Did I say that?”
“Oh. I feel like you said that.”
At this point, it was probably written across my forehead, because it was true. I was desperately in love with him, even if I hadn’t been brave enough to say it out loud.
“If I really love him, I have to fix this,” I said. “I need to call Spencer… let him know I’m not with Fredrik. That he has nothing to do with this, and I’m going away. I need him to turn his anger at me, not him.”
Grace looked at me like I was losing it. “Why? That guy sounds crazy.”
“That’s what I mean! I can’t let him go after Fredrik. Maybe if I get far away from here—”
“Well, if that’s what you want, I have good news!” She smiled, pulling a brochure out of her pocket. Palm trees and white sand. “I got us a gig! That’s why I’m here. You weren’t answering your emails, and we need to get to Bar Harbor this weekend to board the ship on Monday.”
“This weekend, as in… Christmas?”
“Yeah. The cruise leaves the day after Christmas, and they have a huge New Year’s party planned. It’s really last minute. Two servers pulled out, and they need replacements.”
“We’d be serving cocktails?”
A huge smile spread across her face. “In a tropical climate.”
“I’m supposed to keep the store open for two more days. But I don’t have anywhere to live. I can’t go back to Fredrik.”
Grace cast a disapproving look at the storage room. “I’m not happy with Uncle In-soo! He let me think you had a place to stay, not a daybed! Don’t worry about him. Don’t worry about the store. Just close it and we can go.”
“How do we get out of here? Do you have a car?”
Grace’s mouth twisted. “No. A friend gave me a boat ride. But there are buses, right?”
My anxiety amped up a little more. “I don’t know! This place is so inaccessible.”
Grace took out her phone and, to my amazement, did an internet search.
“You’re getting a signal? Mine hasn’t worked once! I always have to climb the hill outside of town. That’s why I haven’t replied to your emails.” I offered her my useless phone as proof.
“It’s okay,” she said, browsing the local bus company’s website. “There’s a bus leaving today at twelve and then one on Friday.”
I glanced at the clock on my screen. “It’s already eleven! And I don’t have my things. Everything is in Fredrik’s store and in his house. I’d have to go back…” I blocked one nostril to stop myself from hyperventilating.
Grace squeezed me into a side hug. “It’s okay. Breathe. We can stay here until Friday. It’ll be like… camping.”
“Camping?”
“Yeah. I’ll get some camping gear, and we’ll stay here in this store. We’ll cover the windows and put up a sign that says we’re closed for the season, then enjoy some yummy food, wine, and puzzles. Just hang out here. Get you over this heartbreak.”
I sucked in a breath through my one nostril, trying to settle my cries. She was so good at this. Always looking at the upside and finding a solution. I wanted to be like her, not this wobbly mess.
“And how do we go to the bathroom?” I asked.
“Hmm… is there a gym? A gas station?”
“Not very close. I still have the key to Fredrik’s store, though. I don’t think he’ll sleep there, so maybe we can pop in at night when he’s away. And during the day, we’ll figure something out.”
Grace raised her eyebrows. “Let’s make a copy of the key and return it. That way, he’ll think you’re not coming back and won’t be sitting there waiting. Because it sounds like he… might do that.”
I nodded. It was a terrible yet necessary plan that made me feel sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to run away. Never seeing Fredrik again was the worst punishment I could imagine. And it was exactly what I deserved.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m in.”
If I really loved him, I’d save him from the fallout of my mistakes.