Chapter 27
NYLAH
“Portia, calm down,” I instruct, my voice soft but firm.
“But I want Daddy!” She stomps her little foot, and it’s taking everything in me not to completely lose it with her.
Does she not get that this is her fault!
She was the one who said all those horrible things to Harley, and now her sister has taken off.
Okay, so it’s not entirely Portia’s fault, but she definitely had a part to play.
Trying to get a handle on this swell of anger and worry is an effort.
As if sensing my distress, the baby gives a firm kick to my abdomen, stretching out one of his little limbs.
I rub the spot and gently push him back while keeping a hold on my petulant daughter who can only seem to think about herself and what she wants.
She’s four. Of course she can only think about herself!
Carson strides back down the stairs, his face tight with tension as he zips up his winter coat. Harley’s blue jacket and beanie are bunched in his fist, and when I catch his eye, all I can see is a sheen of outright fear.
What if we don’t get to her in time?
What if she’s hurt?
Freezing?
I grip his arm as a wave of panic washes through me.
I want him to tell me that everything’s going to be okay, but he can’t seem to say anything.
Instead, he plants a kiss on my forehead, then spins and heads for the door.
“Daddy!” Portia rushes after him.
“No, Portia. Wait,” I call to her, but she ignores me, grabbing Carson’s leg and trying to stop him.
“Not now,” he clips. “I have to go and find your sister.”
“No, stay with me!” She starts to cry.
“Portia, let go,” I tell her, struggling to remove her grip from Carson’s leg.
He shakes her free, gives me one more pained frown, then heads for the door.
“Daddy!”
He keeps walking, not looking back as he disappears down the hallway.
“Daddy!” Portia screams, the sound piercing.
“Stop it,” I softly tell her. “Daddy has to go find Harley. He’s in a rush. He’ll be back soon.”
“Why does Daddy hate me?”
“He doesn’t.” I crouch down with a sigh, taking her little arms and encouraging her to face me. “He’s just scared.”
“Why?” Portia demands, her blue gaze fierce, her perfect little face scrunched in confused annoyance… and distress. She’s freaking out that Daddy’s mad at her or something.
I stare into those eyes, so like Carson’s. Yet she’s got my fight, my spirit.
Brushing my thumb across her cheek, I then stand and take her hand in mine. Leading her into the corner of the living room, I sit in the armchair near the fireplace and lift her onto my lap.
It’s awkward, partly because of my big belly and partly because she’s all stiff and tense, obviously wanting to fight me and bolt out the back door after her father.
“Just listen to me for a second, okay?”
She huffs, her bottom lip sticking out.
I brush my hand over her thick black hair and softly explain, “Daddy’s worried because Harley ran away.”
“Again?” Portia rolls her eyes.
“Baby,” I softly reprimand. “She ran away because you said those mean things to her. You hurt her feelings, and now she’s hiding.”
Portia’s nose wrinkles, but then she sighs. “Well, have you looked in the closet? Behind the coats? That’s where we found her last time. Or maybe under the bed. She loves under the bed.”
“Yes, we’ve checked those places, and the boys are looking again, just to be sure. But…” I glance to my right, quickly spotting Blake. She’s hovering near enough to hear this conversation, looking sick and distressed.
Her daughter’s out there too, so I shouldn’t be mad at her, but part of me wants to unleash a little hellfire her way.
You said you’d look for my kid!
You got distracted by a phone call? What the hell is your problem!
It’d be so easy to blame her for this, but it’s not actually her fault. My daughter is the one who likes to run, and she probably took Kendall with her… or Kendall followed her, and Harley was too upset to think straight and bring her little friend back inside.
Oh shit.
I hope they haven’t gone too far.
It’s freezing out there!
And she doesn’t have her coat. Or her beanie or gloves.
She’ll be so cold and—
“Mommy?” Portia touches my cheek. “Why are you crying?”
I blink, sucking in a quick breath and swiping a thumb under my eye. “I guess I’m scared too.”
“But why?” Portia’s face bunches in confusion again.
“Because Harley isn’t in the closet or under the bed.” A shuddering breath escapes me. “We think she went outside. Where it’s cold. And she might be lost, and we need to find her before she gets sick or too cold or—”
“What?” Portia’s eyes round… and she’s finally getting it. “Is Harley okay?”
“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “Daddy’s gone to find her.” I give her a watery smile. “And we just have to hope and pray that he reaches her in time.”
Portia gasps. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to Harley!” she wails. “I love Harley!”
“I know, baby.”
“She’s my sister.”
“Yeah.” I nod, cupping the back of her head when she leans her face into my chest and starts bawling.
“I want my sister! I want my sister!”
The room goes quiet as all the kids stop what they’re doing to stare at me and my distraught daughter.
The little ones are starting to realize that something is very wrong, and it’s going to take some major distraction tactics from us adults to get through this without the entire place falling apart.
“Hey, guys.” Wily claps his hands, drawing their attention back to him. “Who wants to play a game?”
Seb and Olly shout, “Me!” while the others give me one more dubious frown before slowly turning back to face the blond giant who will do everything in his power to make them laugh and ease their fears.
I’m so grateful he’s here right now.
I close my eyes, swaying Portia back and forth while she cries in my arms.
Blake moves a little closer to me, then stops, her own eyes glassing with tears before she mouths, “I’m so sorry,” then runs out of the room with a whimper.