Chapter 14
[Lumi]
On Sunday, I’m a coward and slink off to breakfast with my sisters. Isolde will be working the gingerbread competition later in the afternoon at the community center, and Neve and I promised to attend, but I need an emergency meeting of the Snowe sisters.
“What happened?” Neve asks without greeting as she takes a chair opposite me in the hole-in-the-wall diner near the docks.
The bright red door with a porthole is the only hint this place exists.
The inside contains mirrored portholes with drawn curtains as fake windows.
A long bench lines one wall with several rectangular wood tables and chairs opposite the bench.
The bench and chairs are red to match the front door.
The locals like to keep this spot a hidden treasure.
I especially love this place for its quick and greasy breakfast. This diner was our father’s favorite.
“We should wait for Isolde,” I state from my seat on the bench. I don’t want to have to repeat myself.
“Wait for me for what?” Isolde asks, sliding in next to me on the wooden seat.
Being five years younger than me and one half of a set of twins, Isolde has the classic Snowe features. Bright blue eyes and dark hair, only she keeps hers in an elaborate braid that dangles over one shoulder while long bangs frame her face. Today, she’s wearing a pink knit cap on her head.
As soon as Isolde sits, the waitress, Gladys, approaches.
She’s almost an institution as much as this diner.
She brings over two cups of coffee without needing to ask if Neve or Isolde want a mug.
Gladys dumps the sugars and creamers clumped in her hand on the table and announces, “Be back in a second, girls.”
“I kissed Saint,” I announce without preamble once Gladys walks off.
“Who’s Saint?” Isolde asks.
“What?” Neve drags out the word like a teenager, her eyes wide, her face bright. Then she glances at Isolde. “Saint is Lumi’s sexy Santa roommate.”
“You have a roommate?” my younger sister turns toward me.
“Not a roommate. An extended-stay houseguest.”
She still gives me an expression like what’s that while Neve interjects, “How was it?”
“Why am I always the last to know things?” Isolde mutters, clearly not caring about my kiss.
“You haven’t heard the rumors?” Neve continues.
“Rumors?” Isolde glances back at Neve. “I work in a middle school. The only rumors I hear is who likes whom, and who is dating whom, and who broke up with whom. Who was mean to whom, and who had the latest non-important drama. It’s enough to make my head spin. I don’t have time for town gossip.”
I chuckle. My head would spin as well, and I remember when Danny was in middle school. He wasn’t exactly into girls at that point, and I was grateful. Then he hit high school, and his hormones hit the accelerator.
“We all know town gossip is only gossip,” I remind my sisters.
“Still, Lady Lovewatch would enjoy this morsel of romance.” Neve leans closer so the table next to us won’t hear her next words. She rolls her wrist, twirling her finger. “Now, tell us about this kiss.”
I sigh, falling back against the hard bench seat. “It was just a kiss.”
“Just a kiss.” Neve is loud enough the customers at the table next to ours can hear her.
“If it was just a kiss, I don’t think you’d be asking us to meet like this,” Isolde adds, as the voice of reason.
“Okay. You’re right. It was more than a kiss.” My cheeks instantly heat, and I lean forward, glancing down at my steaming cup of coffee.
“Holy cinnamon. Your cheeks are bright red,” Neve points out as if I don’t already feel the warmth.
“You like him,” Isolde states the obvious a little more gently.
Peering at her, I smile, shy and timid. “Yeah. I do.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she asks, grinning, pleased with this new development in my life.
On that question, Neve and I meet eyes before I say, “He isn’t staying in town.”
“Ah,” Isolde says. “Houseguest.” Like the information has finally clicked into place. “How did that happen?”
I give a short rundown of Saint’s accident, Eileen’s suggestion, and my invitation for Saint to stay at my home. I toss in how Neve convinced me to let him stay long-term until his car is repaired.
“Once his car is fixed, he’s out of here.” With my hand over my coffee cup, fingers on the rim, I slowly twirl the cup side to side.
My sisters remain quiet a second, certain to be sharing a look with one another, before Isolde places her thin hand on my arm.
“Lumi. They aren’t all him.”
Him. The reduction of Danny’s father. We never speak his name. It doesn’t matter who he was anymore.
“I know.” I blow out a heavy breath. I know. “It’s just . . . I haven’t really felt this way since then and I’m scared.”
“Aren’t we all a little afraid of love?” Isolde continues, like I’m a hormonal teenager and she’s a sympathetic teacher. “But fear only keeps us from what might be life-changing experiences.”
“Tell that to your students about sex, do yah?” Neve interjects with a laugh.
“We aren’t talking about sex. Or students,” Isolde defends. “We’re talking about matters of the heart. Being open with your emotions.”
Neve rolls her eyes, which pretty much sums up her opinion on emotions. “I say bang him. Make it your Christmas wish.”
“Bang him?” I snort. “Who even says that anymore?”
“Have sexual intercourse with him.” Neve uses sarcasm to season her comment. “Does that sound better?”
I glance over my shoulder at the table next to us which is close enough to be getting an earful. The couple are staring at their plates proving they are listening to our conversation.
“Girls,” I lean over the table, lowering my voice in hopes that at least Neve will lower hers. “I’m not talking about having sex with him.”
But aren’t I? I mean, that is what I want. I want to bang him. Rail him. Take the Polar Express straight into Saint’s pants so both of us can let off some steam.
“Then it’s only a kiss?” Isolde questions, her eyes wide as she focuses on my face, as if trying to read me.
My shoulders slump. “Okay. No, it was more than a kiss.” It was an unpredicted, unprecedented, unbelievable orgasm that came on a rush. Pun intended. Then it led to two more self-induced ones. I was like a runaway sleigh last night, and I wanted to hand over the reins to Saint.
Only, he walked away. His shower excuse was a gentle rejection.
“He’s leaving,” I remind my sisters one more time.
“At least you know he’s going,” Neve adds.
“Neve!” Isolde scolds at the insensitive quip.
I’d always known Danny’s father would leave as well, I just thought I’d go with him. But when he left without me and never turned back when I told him I was pregnant, everything crumbled inside me. At least Saint has been upfront. He isn’t staying.
“I’m just saying you don’t need him to stay,” Neve defends. “Have some fun with him, then let him go.”
What if I want to go with him? The question halts on the tip of my tongue, knowing I have my own setbacks. I can’t just leave with him. Mainly because he hasn’t asked me to go anywhere with him.
North. The elusively vague location not found on a map. There are only two cities in the entire world named North, and neither of them is truly north of the East Coast. I know; I looked it up.
Neve softens her tone. “You deserve to let loose. It’s okay to have fun with him.”
Her comment isn’t an insult, like I’m too uptight, but a gentle reminder I’m more than a mom and a postmistress.
“Have a one-night stand.” Neve waves toward me. “Or a holiday fling. Summer ones are overrated.” She chuckles.
“Not all of us are like you,” Isolde argues a bit too defensively about our sister’s proclivity to like flatlanders because they come and go. She doesn’t want them to stick around.
“And not all of us pine for someone instead of telling him how we feel. Speaking of feelings.” Neve arches a brow, and I gaze at Isolde.
“What is she talking about? Do you have a crush on someone?”
“It’s nothing.” She brushes at a loose strand of hair. “It’s not like that.”
Neve snorts.
“Sounds like I’m missing additional town gossip,” I tease, but gentle my tone, hoping Isolde will talk to me. She used to come to me all the time when she was younger because our mother was gone and her twin was as wild as Neve. Isolde was more reserved. The bookworm. The good girl.
“You aren’t.” She sits up straighter and steels her spine as she stares at me, like imparting a secret. The secret being . . . there is no secret.
“As for Saint . . . I say, if you like him, what’s it hurt to try and make it work? Or at least, work for now,” Isolde adds.
Work for now? I don’t know if I’m built like that. For short-term flings, but I also don’t want to miss my chance with Saint. A little holiday miracle to spice up the season.
He’s certainly done that so far, between cookie baking and making out on my couch.
My sisters are both right. I do deserve to let loose. If I can’t explore the world, maybe I can explore the man who has crashed into mine.
At least for a little while.
Gladys returns to our table. “Ready to order, girls.”
Yep. I’ll take an order of one hot Santa lookalike with a side of sexy time.