15. Ruby
Ruby has always loved Europe in the springtime, and this year is no different. She and Dexter are wandering through the Jardin des Tuileries in Paris, strolling beneath the pink magnolia and Judas trees as they hold hands and talk about the book tour so far.
“I think it’s been amazing,” Ruby says. She’s full of awe for the way Dexter can sit with any interviewer, fielding questions and keeping a conversation on track no matter what the person asking questions throws his way.
For instance, in Rome, a woman named Jacqueline Fiero insisted on asking questions entirely about his relationship with Ruby, and with endless good humor, Dexter redirected the conversation over and over to the book about Jack, to the way Ruby was able to call on the things she knew about him to fully flesh out the narrative of the biography, and to the book itself, which combined Jack’s diaries, letters, and public appearances with the things that the people who knew him best were willing and able to share.
“It’s been amazing to do it all with you,” Dexter says. They’re walking lazily, admiring the flowers, watching as lovers sit on benches entwined, as children run through the grass, as people on bikes meander about the gardens. “But now that we’re actually in Paris, how do you feel about seeing Etienne?”
Ruby takes a moment to sit with this question. How does she feel about seeing Etienne? It’s been a while, and even though her life is on a path that suits her entirely, she isn’t sure that she’ll ever be able to fully let go of the fact that Etienne stole so much of her husband from her. At fifty, Ruby likes to think of herself as a realist, and she understands that no person ever fully owns another, but she’d at least believed that the bonds of marriage had ensured her some sort of security in Jack’s heart. It had been nearly crippling to both lose him so quickly and tragically, and to have to face the fact that he’d been carrying on with Etienne for so many years. His son, Julien, had been another fact that she’d had to face—another betrayal.
A flurry of pink blossoms falls from the trees overhead like snow as they walk beneath them, and Ruby leans on Dexter, pulling herself closer to him as she holds his arm.
“I think I’m fine to see Etienne,” she says after a long pause. “I’ve really come to terms with everything—at least as much as I think I ever will.” They walk on, Ruby’s brown leather boots clicking against the cement path. “I don’t even hate her. I never did.”
There is a chill in the air, and Ruby has her cropped trench coat buttoned against the spring wind. She wears a sheer scarf that’s hand-painted in pastel colors wound around her neck and tucked into the front of her coat.
“I think that’s one of the things I admire about you most,” Dexter says. “You have this really strong ability to decide what’s worth worrying about, and what isn’t. And you’re patient with everyone.”
“Those are two things,” Ruby says with a laugh. “But thank you.”
“You knew that when it came to us, stressing about our age difference wasn’t worth your time.”
“Shhh!” Ruby says, putting a finger to her lips theatrically as she pretends to look around for spies. “No one can look at us and tell that I’ve robbed the cradle, so don’t tell them!” It’s a joke that she and Dexter have played many times, but Ruby never tires of poking fun at herself, or of letting Dexter know that she thinks she’s getting the better end of the deal.
He believes precisely the opposite, but plays along for her sake. “Oh, I know,” he says. “I’m aging so quickly that pretty soon someone is going to ask if you’re my younger sister.”
“And not your mom?” she teases.
“Stop—no way.” Dexter turns his head and gives her a kiss on the lips as they stroll. “Not even one person has ever said that.”
“Oh, they’ve thought it,” Ruby says, looking straight ahead. As silly as it is, she does think about things like this. Was it ever a concern for Jack when he was with Etienne? she wonders. Did he ever wander the streets of Paris with a younger woman on his arm and feel like an old fool? But she doesn’t have much time to ponder this, as a young man approaches them hesitantly.
“Ruby Hudson?” he asks, smiling at her with the open, curious, excited look of someone who has recognized a famous person. “Oh my god, you’re really in Paris!”
Ruby and Dexter slow to a stop, and out of habit and instinct, she clutches Dexter more tightly. She and Banks have agreed that he’ll attend every official event on this trip as her Secret Service detail, vetting the people in the room and watching over her as they make their way through interviews and meet-and-greets, but there have been things along the way, like this walk through the Jardin des Tuileries, that Ruby has insisted she and Dexter do alone.
“Oh, don’t worry,” the American man says. “I’m not a weirdo. I’m just someone who really admires you.” He turns to Dexter. “And you too, Mr. North.” He lowers his voice like he’s about to share a deep secret. “I was also once in an age gap romance, and believe me, I understand the pressures.”
Ruby almost gives a surprised laugh. The man is probably in his late twenties, and he’s impeccably groomed and sincere. But instead of chuckling at his admission, she smiles at him. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”
The man hems and haws a little. ”You know...just typical age difference type of stuff: she thought we didn”t like the same things, she worried I was looking at other girls and wishing she was younger, and she thought I was laughing at her when she didn”t get one of my pop culture references. But honestly, I always just thought it was cute when I had to explain things to her. I liked our age difference.” He shrugs.
Ruby”s face burns and she intentionally shifts her feet and her gaze, trying to hide from Dexter. These are all things that she herself fears, though she is loath to give voice to most of them. A woman who has been First Lady, who has seen the world, who has raised children--a woman with her experience should not feel as insecure as she sometimes does, and she hates that something as simple as their ages brings these feelings out in her.
”There is something utterly charming about two people bringing different information and references to a relationship,” Dexter agrees. ”I love it when Ruby says things about the 80s, because I don”t even have solid memories that start until about 1993.”
”Same!” the man nearly shouts, nodding along as he points at Dexter genially. ”Totally. I think it”s cute when she forgets that I”ve never lived a totally analog life, and I hope she finds it charming that I”ve only ever done math on a calculator. I mean, what even is long division?”
Ruby isn”t so sure that a woman would find it charming to hear that her man can”t work out a basic math problem on paper, but what does she know about other people”s love affairs?
”Well, I wish you luck with that, man,” Dexter says jovially. ”I hope she realizes that there are bigger and more important things than one person having taken a few more trips around the sun than the other person.”
The man shrugs. ”I hope so, too. We”re taking a break now, but I”d like to get back together.”
”Good luck to you.” Dexter thrusts a hand out for him to shake.
”I”m Tegan, by the way,” the man says as he shakes Dexter”s hand. He turns to Ruby and offers a hand for her to shake. ”And I”m sorry I interrupted your walk to talk about my love life, but you two are an inspiration. I mean that.”
Ruby smiles at him kindly; she really does hope he gets what he wants--he seems like a genuine guy. ”It was lovely to meet you, Tegan,” she says.
”Well, that was nice.” Dexter looks at Ruby as they start walking again, giving her a half-smile. ”We”re an inspirational age gap couple, darling.”
”Yes, a regular President and First Lady Macron,” Ruby says with a smirk. ”Wait.” She stops walking as a fit of giggles overtakes her. ”I”ve actually been a First Lady--I”m not interested in doing that again. Forget that example!”
Dexter grows serious as a cloud passes over the sun and the world around them shivers with the slight drop in temperature. He puts both hands on Ruby”s waist and looks down into her eyes with meaning. ”How about if you”re my lady, and we just fly under the radar for the rest of our lives?”
”You promise you”re never going to tell me you want to live in the White House?”
”I promise you I will never even suggest that we live in a white house of any sort,” Dexter swears, holding up one hand like he”s pledging Scout”s Honor. ”You have my word.”
Ruby smiles up at Dexter with the kind of love and happiness borne of truly understanding another person and feeling known by them, and she stands up on her tiptoes to seal the deal with a kiss.
Another drift of pink petals swirls around them there on the garden path, and little bits of flower land in Ruby”s hair and stay there.
”I love you,” Dexter says. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles down at her.
”I love you more, Dexter North.”
Just for good measure, Ruby kisses him again.