Chapter 8
Ash
Everyone gave a standing ovation, cheering on the students who performed in tonight’s band recital. The kids did a fantastic job, and even though a few students missed a few beats, their hearts were in it, and that’s all that mattered.
“Mommy, let’s go,” Kaley urged, pulling my hand while Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne greeted me and complimented John’s trumpet solo.
John’s performance was flawless, and this momma couldn’t be prouder of his hard work. He’d practiced diligently for weeks, and it paid off, which made me especially happy since my ears had been ringing for two hours a day while he practiced.
“Hey,” I rubbed John’s back, reaching down to hold his case after he carefully put away his trumpet. “You were awesome,” I said, refraining from embarrassing him by kissing him on the cheek in front of all his peers.
“Thanks, Mom,” he said gleefully. This boy was thrilled with himself and his bandmates.
“You were great, John,” Ruby Mackey said with a bashful smile.
I grinned at the adorable, dark-haired, green-eyed girl who seemed to have the same crush on John as he had on her.
“Thanks, Ruby,” John said.
“Ash, Mija,” I heard Carmen’s voice over the crowd. My sassy and sexy stepmom was one of my favorite people in the world. She was hired as a live-in nurse to care for my dad after his heart attack, and we all fell in love with her, my dad especially.
“Hey, Carmen,” I said, smiling at her and Dad as they approached where all the families in attendance stood greeting their kids. “Hi, Dad,” I said, welcoming his hug after Carmen had beat him to me and our kids.
“Hey, baby girl. And look at you, Johnny boy,” my dad said, the only one who got away with nicknames for our son. John wasn’t a fan of being called any cutesy names. He liked being referred to by his proper name and nothing else, but for some reason, he didn’t bother arguing with Grandpa about it.
“You were amazing, Mijo,” Carmen said, leaning down and planting a big fat kiss on John’s cheeks, leaving behind her ruby red lip marks on his face as he giggled. “Look at you, and you,” she widened her eyes at Ruby Mackey. “This looks like young love, eh?”
I watched John’s face turn ten shades of beet red while my dad laughed. Dad looked back at me, naturally amused by his gregarious wife, and then leaned down to pick up Kaley to make up for the two days he hadn’t seen his granddaughter.
“It’s not love,” John immediately corrected Carmen, staring darkly at me as if I were the one who’d mortified him in front of the girl.
“Bye, John,” Ruby said, taking her embarrassment over to the other side of the theater stage.
“Oh, Mijo. She is quite taken with your handsome looks,” Carmen pressed on. “And I must say I don’t blame her,” she chuckled and winked back at me.
“Thanks, Grandma Carmen,” John said, forcing himself to smile at her.
There was something about Carmen that allowed us all to be extremely forgiving and amused by her when she did this type of shit to embarrass us in public.
John was a perfect example of that now. Instead of getting pissed at her, his fiery gaze was on my ass as if I’d planned the whole thing.
This was all very typical, though. It’s how things were when my dad and Carmen were around the kids.
Carmen danced around like a Mexican Fairy Godmother, entertaining all of us with her charm and boisterous personality, and we just rolled with it.
“So, are we ready to get dinner?” my dad asked. “My treat.”
“Sure,” I smiled. “John, grab your things, and we’ll go.”
“Where’s Dad?” John asked, finally taking notice that Jake had missed another event.
“He got stuck in traffic,” I said, feeling irritated by my husband’s absence but ultimately used to it.
“Yeah, okay,” John said, deflated. “Grandma Carm,” John turned his attention to his favorite lady, “do you want to share a cinnamon roll with me?”
“Aw,” Carmen smiled and ran her long red fingernails through John’s hair, “you know I want to. Go grab your things, and you can ride with me and Papa to the diner.”
“I’ll be right back,” John said with excitement.
“Where is Jacob?” my dad questioned after setting Kaley down so she could go get the doll she left in her chair. “He’s missing out on all the good stuff. He’s never going to get these moments back.”
“I know, Dad,” I answered with irritation. “Last I checked, I married a surgical chief and signed up for this way of life while raising kids. Don’t start.”
I hated defending Jake when he wasn’t around for events like this because it was bullshit, especially since he planned on being here tonight.
It was a complete letdown, but I was just thankful I had Carmen’s jubilant energy, and my kids loved her like she was Mickey Mouse.
I did, too. There were many times when being disappointed or let down by Jake made me sad, but fortunately, I had a great dad and a lively stepmom who kept all the sadness away when I felt it—kind of like right now.
“Well, they’re only this age once, kid,” Dad told me.
“Don’t we all know it,” I answered as if I were the one in trouble for Jake missing this whole thing because he was stuck in traffic.
I wanted to kick Jake’s ass after I read his text, but after he sent a video of a life flight chopper landing on the freeway, I knew there was nothing he could do but sit there and wait for ambulances, tow trucks, and California Highway Patrol to arrive and clear the thing.
He was screwed, and I knew he was as upset about missing tonight as I was.
“All right, let’s go,” Dad said. He scooped up Kaley, grabbed John’s hand, and ran to the exit like he was kidnapping them, making them laugh the whole way.
I was so thankful for these two people because they stepped in at every opportunity, not just helping Jake and me when we needed some alone time but also putting huge smiles on the kids’ faces. And on nights like these, we needed that.
I walked into the house, surprised to see the motion-activated lights turn on as if we were the first ones home.
“Where’s Dad?” John questioned.
“I was about to ask the same thing,” I answered him. “Go put your stuff upstairs in your room, and I’ll call him.”
“Cool,” John said as Kaley started whining after waking up from dozing off in the car on the ride home.
“Let’s get you to bed first,” I said, picking her up and heading up the stairs to get her tucked in.
I walked past John’s room and grinned while he put everything away in perfect order. “Did you want to call Dad and give him a hard time, or should I?” I teased.
“You can,” John said, not too concerned with Jake’s whereabouts. “I have to finish homework.”
“You did so well tonight,” I told him. “I sent your dad all the videos I took, so even though he wasn’t there tonight, he sort of was.”
“I know,” John said. “It’s cool, Mom.”
This was just our everyday family life. There were plenty of times I eyed other parents, husbands and wives sitting in the crowd, and wished I had the cute little nine-to-five family, too, but I didn’t.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t trade my husband or his love for the three of us for anything in the world.
This was the life of being married to the big cardiovascular chief.
We got him when he was off work, and nothing stood in the way of us then.
I could feel sorry for myself, but I wouldn’t.
I also wouldn’t put any guilt on Jake because his job was his passion, and he was a brilliantly gifted surgeon who saved lives under impossible circumstances after other physicians had given up.
Regardless, more and more these days, it felt like his job was who he was married to and more his family than we were.
Nights like tonight sucked, and that was why I was willing to join forces with the other wives to get our workaholic husbands to plan for the holidays.
Having them more involved, like we did on Halloween, worked out nicely, and the kids were thrilled to have their dads be a part of the holiday. It was lovely.
Seeing the disappointment in John’s eyes tonight just reinforced my resolve to get Jake more involved.
I knew that roping him into planning and attending a couple of holidays was not a permanent solution to our problem, but I needed to take action to bring back the spark that was starting to fizzle out in our marriage.