Chapter 25
Jake
Collin and I were up before everyone in the house, getting our plans in motion.
“How many fireplaces did you count?” I asked.
Collin had been working on a different part of our plan while I confirmed reservations for a place in the village square to rent and play out a live Nativity scene.
It was something I’d seen in a Christmas comedy movie, and although they didn’t have a designated place for live Nativity acting stuff, they did have locations that you could reserve in the outdoor market.
After a brief conversation with the people who ran the place, I was able to reserve it for a night for a couple of hours so the guys could act out the Nativity scene, farm animals and all.
“There’s one in every fucking room, so there’s probably at least twelve,” Collin said with a chuckle.
“Okay. We’re confirmed for tonight for the Nativity, which is the perfect way to kick off all this shit.”
“Excellent timing. It’s as if the Universe was working on our behalf without us even having to try,” Collin said.
“That’s because we did so well during meditation hell week,” I answered. “All right. The sun is about to rise, and I’m not about to let those dipfuckers sleep another second.”
“Rise and shine, baby,” Collin said, and then we were on our way up to wake up Spencer, Alex, and Jim.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jim grumbled, shielding his eyes from the lights I flipped on after entering his and Avery’s room.
“Sorry, Avery,” I acknowledged my sister-in-law after she almost threw something from her nightstand at me.
“Seriously, Jake?” Avery said. “Why the hell are you tormenting me while you torture your brother?”
“That’s Jim’s fault,” I stated proudly. “If he would’ve taken me seriously last night when I told him I’d see him at sunrise, he would’ve known I would be in here to wake him up if he wasn’t downstairs at 0500 hours.”
Jim slid out of bed while Avery snuggled into the bed further, enjoying that she could now stretch out and utilize the entire bed for her comfort.
“When did you start using military time?” Jim said, pulling on a pair of sweats from the dresser drawer he’d packed his clothes into.
“Since I became a doctor and had to start calling times of death?” I returned.
“Don’t be so morbid. It’s Christmas,” he said, trying to be funny.
I watched with humor as my brother, who prided himself on always being perfectly groomed, looked like a disheveled mess.
“You look like you lost a wrestling match to a silverback gorilla,” I said. “We have no time for you to fix that bedhead situation you’ve got going on.”
“Jim, just go with him,” Avery said, unable to return to sleep so long as I was in here using my outside voice, ensuring that Jim got his ass kicked out of the room wearing his sweatpants and T-shirt.
The only thing he’d be changing into today would be some shepherd’s clothing circa 2500 b.c.
for tonight’s Nativity. There was certainly a method to all this madness, and if Collin’s game were rolling as tight as mine, Spencer would be in the same position as my brother.
Whomever of us was first to get their CEO’s cocky ass out of bed would claim the victorious prize of waking up Alex, which we didn’t have much time to do since we only had a few hours before he was out of here and off to Austria with his wife.
“I’m trying to find—”
“No need for that,” I said, grabbing Jim’s arm and leading his half-awake self from the room.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jim growled.
“Jesus, your breath,” I waved my hand in front of my face, then grinned. “That’s so going to suck for you if we’re too busy to stop, and you don’t have time to brush your perfectly polished teeth!”
Jim smacked my hands away from where I pinched each side of his cheeks, provoking him.
“I will fucking knock you out,” Jim warned.
I feigned horror as we walked down the dimly lit hallway, “And ruin Christmas? I highly doubt you’ll do such a thing, you miserable old bear.”
“Trust me, it won’t ruin Christmas for anyone but you,” Jim answered, annoyed.
I grinned, “When the kids hear that Uncle Jim knocked out their dad like we’re a couple of teenagers, I think it will ruin Christmas for my family.”
“How long is this going to go on?” Jim asked, turning to me and trying to stand tall and firm like the big bad CEO he naturally was.
I stared into his darkened emerald irises, “You’re not nearly as uncomfortable as I was whilst shitting in a hole in the forest on the first night of that stupid little psycho meditation clinic you tricked my ass into attending.
So, I’m not sure how long it will take to bring you to your knees while spreading holiday cheer. ”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re spreading something, but it isn’t fucking holiday cheer,” he said, rubbing his tired face.
“True. Now,” I grabbed his arm again, making him jerk away like I knew he would.
“First things first,” I said, seeing that Collin already had Alex in his pajama bottoms and Spencer in a pair of jeans.
“We need to get all these fireplaces lit, and get the house warmed up for that cozy cabin feel that the ladies boasted about so much last night.”
“Are you fucking with me right now?” Alex asked as Jim and I reached where the men all stood, fucked-up hair and all, at the bottom of the steps.
“I was about to ask you the same thing, Grayson,” I laughed, looking at the cartoon Santa Clauses printed all over his white and red fleece pants. “I see Mrs. Claus had her way with your ass last night?”
“And from what I deduced since this cutie pie fell out of bed wearing them, that’s all the dipfucker got for Christmas last night,” Collin added.
I grinned while the men chuckled, “I’m telling you, ego death translates to the best sex ever. You don’t see my ass sleeping in Santa jammies, do you?”
“I only see your ass looking and sounding like fucking Buddy the Elf. You’re annoying the shit out of me,” Alex retorted.
“Nah, man,” Collin said with a laugh. “He’s not annoying at all. Look at Jim and Spence. They’re not even annoyed by him, most likely because we all got laid last night instead of gifted Christmas jammies.”
“If you must know, my wife enjoyed amazing shower sex—”
“Meh, no one wants to know about that, Alex, just about how you lost your balls and covered what was left of your dick with these cartoon pants of yours,” I said, laughing.
“What are we doing?” Jim grumbled.
“You never were one for mornings,” I said.
“Oh, did your inner boy just now recall that?” he answered.
“Let’s get some coffee,” Spencer interrupted. “Where’s the goddamn espresso machine? This is the Asters’ place, so I know they’ve got nothing but the finest—”
“Yeah, about that,” Collin said. “We’re not using any fancy shit.”
Jim stopped and turned back from his mission toward the kitchen for coffee. “Then what exactly do you propose we use to make our coffee?”
I pointed toward the firepit outside that Collin and I had lit after we first woke up. “It’s called a percolator,” I said, looking at the three businessmen. “It works very similar to the fancy French Press your spoiled ass loves to make your coffee from.”
“You’re just going to have to clean it and rinse it. Jake and I already used it to make our morning brew,” Collin added.
Unexpectedly, Jim grinned at me, “How the fuck do you plan on not ruining Christmas when my lovely wife wakes up and discovers she’s going to have to sit outside and percolate coffee while she freezes her ass off every morning?”
“That’s the thing, Jimbo,” I said, smacking my brother purposefully too hard on his back.
“She’s not going to do any of that shit.
You are!” I smiled at him and the other CEOs who’d officially begun the first round of punishment we had for them.
“Again, first things first. Fires need to be lit. There are thirteen of them, and wood needs to be brought to each one.” I pointed toward the woodshed, “The wood for the fireplaces is out there.”
“Of course, if you three use your genius CEO brains, you’ll pick one of you to make the ladies their coffee while the other two go and get the wood and start lighting fireplaces,” Collin said, trying to be serious.
“And what the hell are you and Collin going to do, supervise? Because that’s not part of the plan, my friend,” Spencer said.
“Of course not,” I answered. “We’re going to start cooking breakfast so everyone can have breakfast in bed, including our cute little bugs, sleeping in their cozy little beds.”
What could I say? This was already working out to be quite efficient and lovely. I loved being in control over these bastards, and I was happy they were too tired to figure out how to weasel out of this. The key to staying in control was keeping one step ahead of my brother.