Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
The clean up after the hurricane involved a lot of sweeping, scraping, and tramping about in knee-high gum boots. Thankfully the brunt of the storm had burned itself out over the ocean and the tip of Florida, and Jackson Lake had mostly had rain with some gusts of wind. The damage was minimal, although there were a few tree branches and a lot of twigs and leaves scattered around the lake.
Matilda had spent the morning cleaning up Rita’s backyard with Ryan’s help. Rita wanted to join in, but they both insisted she stay indoors and provide drinks and snacks instead. Which she did with enthusiasm, bringing out freshly squeezed lemonade and blackberry muffins when Ryan and Matilda were taking a break.
After the clean-up, Matilda had taken a shower and then carried the envelopes containing her own DNA results, along with hair samples from Julie and a saliva sample from Rita, into town to mail. She was nervous but excited at the prospect of finally discovering whether or not she was connected to Rita and Julie. Although she was fairly certain the results would prove she was, given that she’d already found a connection to Tyler, Rita’s son.
But Julie and Rita was both still skeptical. Rita believed her, she was certain of that. But she didn’t see how the connection was possible, and they all hoped that these tests would be the ultimate explanation they were all searching for. Matilda still hadn’t met Julie. The girl seemed to be adept at avoiding her, whether intentionally or not, she couldn’t say yet. But Rita assured her it was simply a matter of being busy and nothing more than that.
When she made it home, it was lunchtime, and she was ravenous. She ate a buffalo chicken salad—leftovers from dinner the previous evening—and then another blackberry muffin along with two large glasses of unsweetened tea. She had consumed far more sugar than usual and had gained several kilograms since she arrived. She’d have to slow down if she was going to stay much longer. So she’d taken to drinking her tea unsweetened. It wasn’t the same.
There was a knock at the door just as she was rinsing off her plate to put in the dishwasher. She went to answer it, and found Ryan waiting, leaned against the door frame. He grinned at her, his smile intoxicating, his athletic frame casting a shadow into the house.
“Hey, I’m going to pick out a puppy. You wanna come?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah, right now.”
She grinned back at him. “Yes, please!”
They drove about an hour to the pound. The depressing single-story grey building, surrounded by tall wire fences, was down a long road in the countryside.
“What kind of dog do you want?” she asked.
He parked the truck in one of the empty spaces in the large, rectangular parking lot. “Something I can take to work with me. Keep me company driving. That kind of thing.”
“Big or small?”
“I prefer bigger dogs. Not huge, but something medium-sized maybe.”
“Active or lazy?”
“I’ll take it running with me every day, so pretty active, I guess.”
“Well, let’s see what they have.”
“I called earlier. They had a litter of mixed breed Australian shepherds come in. I thought you might like the idea of another Aussie in the neighbourhood.”
“You’re hilarious,” she said, snidely, although secretly, she couldn’t help thinking that it was actually pretty sweet of him. And he’d obviously been thinking of her, which made her warm inside.
The litter of puppies was adorable. There were around a dozen of them, although it was hard to count since they never stopped moving. They were so fluffy it was impossible to tell how big they were, as most of them appeared to be fur. She guessed they were at least eight weeks old, but not much more than that.
They certainly fit all his requirements: medium-sized, intelligent, active and a great companion. There was no information about what they were mixed with, but she guessed perhaps Labrador since a few of the puppies had short, black hair and a sweet Labrador-shaped face.
The two of them sat in the cage with the puppies. The dogs crawled and jumped all over them, yipping with delight and chewing on various parts of them. Ryan’s face had a softness and light to it that wasn’t usually there. He was enthralled with the little creatures and spoke in a soft, high-pitched voice that would’ve made Matilda stifle a laugh if she wasn’t doing exactly the same thing.
In the end, he selected one of the big, fluffy puppies. He held it up to stare it in the eyes. Its eyes were small and black, and it tried to lick his nose.
He laughed and said, “This is the one.”
He’d brought a box with him for the male Labrador puppy to travel home in. It whined the entire way, so Matilda did her best to comfort and distract him. Ryan decided to call him Ozzie because he said he wanted to remind her of home.
Back at the lake, Matilda carried the puppy inside the house. He was perfect. So cute and cuddly and very happy to be held. As soon as she put him down on the floor in the kitchen, he pranced towards her, lifting his paws playfully high. She and Ryan sat on the floor across from one another, and Ozzie kept dancing back and forth between them, his little tail wagging his whole body with joy.
It didn’t take long for him to tire out. He was soon sleeping on a small blanket Ryan had fetched from the linen closet.
Ryan walked Matilda out as the sun was setting over the lake which lay black in the shadows of the surrounding hills.
“Thanks for helping me with that,” he said. “I think he’s going to be a good dog.”
“The best,” she replied. “And you’re welcome.”
He reached for her hand and pulled her back to him, so that she was pressed against his body, their hands now entwined. He looked down at her, his expression unreadable in the failing light. Her breathing grew ragged.
“Ryan…”
“I know you’re not ready, but I want you to understand, I am. I never told you about my past because I didn’t want to open up. I was married before. It didn’t last long, only four years. But I was devastated when it ended. We were both too young, she didn’t want to stay and make it work. We fought all the time. One day, she just left. I’ve never really let someone back into my heart since.”
“I’m sorry…” was all she could think to say even as her soul ached for his pain.
“It’s complicated, I get it. But for me, this isn’t just another connection—one of many. It’s not something I’ve ever felt before. I was obsessed with my wife because we were teenagers when we fell in love. But this is different. This is a mature respect, desire … heck, I just like you. I like being with you, spending time with you, talking to you. I can’t wait to see you when you’re not around. I look forward to you pulling that dang truck into the driveway.” He laughed softly. “Am I completely off track here?”
She took a step backwards, released his hands. “You’re not off track. I just need time.”
His face clouded over, and he crossed his arms, scowling. “Time, huh? Okay, sure. You take your time. But for my part, I believe when you know, you know. So, you can have time, but I think you’ve already given me your answer.” Then he spun around and stalked back into the house.
Matilda watched him go with a pain in her gut that grew and traveled up to her chest. Why did she say that? Why didn’t she give him a chance? Something was holding her back. Something she didn’t understand. But she hadn’t been able to say what he wanted to hear, to be who he needed her to be. There were still so many things up in the air. She felt like the ground was shifting beneath her, and she could fall at any time. She couldn’t give her heart away now. Not yet. Not until everything in her life made sense again.