Chapter 17
Harlow
“Mom, can we have pizza for dinner?”
“Yeah, buddy. If that’s what you want.”
“Yes!” Alec pumps his fists in the air. “I want extra cheese. If Justin wants pepperoni, can you ask them to put them way far away from my side?”
“Alec, it’s only 3:00. We have a few hours until dinner. Why don’t you eat an apple or something, so you’re not so fixated on the pizza?” These boys are going to eat me out of house and home. I’ve already been considering picking up a few extra shifts to pay for new clothes and baseball expenses for these two.
Folding another set of too-small pajamas from Alec’s dresser, I place them on the pile that will need to go to Goodwill. I’ve had a rare weekend off with no Guard duty, so I’ve tried to keep myself busy so my mind doesn’t keep wandering back to Harrison.
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen him. Not since our night together. While I’d hoped finding the panties I left dangling from his tub might prompt him to call, it’s been quiet. I’m trying to take heart. He’s a busy man with a lot on his plate. And try as I might, I can’t help falling hard and fast, so I’m simply overeager to hear from him.
We exchanged numbers and have sent a couple of innocent texts to one another. But it seems as if he’s been as busy as I have. Until today.
While the temptation to text and ask if I can see him again is pulling at me, I have to watch myself with this guy. He’s already threatened to take up residence in my heart after the few moments we’ve shared together. He seems so genuine. But life has proven my barometer is off when it comes to men. So, I’m trying to slow my roll and not let myself fall in any deeper with him until I’m certain he’s the real deal.
On to the socks. I pull out several pairs from the back of Alec’s top drawer that I’m sure are left-over from his toddler days. Holding up the dark blue socks with rubber duckies on them, I smile as I recollect how cute my babies were when they were little. As I turn to drop them on the donation pile with the footie pajamas, I consider Harrison’s mother. How she’s virtually locked out of her memories. How awful that is. What does she recall, if anything?
Dementia can take many forms. Sometimes people only recall things stored in their long-term memory banks. While others can barely remember how to dress or feed themselves. Many, like the patients I often care for in the ER, are pleasantly confused, but can still carry on a conversation. They often don’t handle change well. Thus, their confusion worsens when night falls or if they are staying somewhere outside of their norm. But something tells me that Carolyn’s situation is pretty advanced if Harrison has a full-time nurse.
Not to mention knocking on his door in the middle of the night.
But the big giveaway was how defeated he looked. The love he has for her was evident in the way he talked to her. That alone should be the mark of a reliable, trustworthy man. As I continue stacking outgrown items onto the bed, my mind wanders.
What’s this? I’d asked as we spent a few unrushed moments together before Harrison dropped me back at my car.
It’s my Magic 8 ball.
I know that, silly. Guess I was curious if it was decoration or had some sentimental value. I had peered around his room and found there was little decoration present. But when the ocean is your focal point, you don’t need much else.
My dad gave it to me.
Oh. I’d picked the iconic piece up, flipping it upside down while I asked aloud, Will Harrison get lucky again? The small white triangle bobbed in the dark liquid for only a moment before it hovered to reveal: Better Not Tell You Now. We’d both laughed.
I have no idea why I keep it. He didn’t keep me.
The statement cut through me like a knife. Both from the poorly disguised pain in his voice, and the ache that re-emerged from where I’d buried it in the depths of my soul relating to my own father. A discomfort I thought I’d dealt with years before, but it was apparently still floating far too close to the surface.
He didn’t go into detail, and our situation seemed too new for any more deep conversations. From the beginning, things had been fun and flirty between us. But discussions about his mother, father, my father, and my kids… they felt like they needed a little more time.
I’m not ready for you to go. We’d enjoyed coffee on the beach together, both of us avoiding saying anything that could trigger heavy conversation. It was as if we were both protecting our happy space. Not willing to risk bringing anything else painful into the equation that could tarnish the last twenty-four hours.
Once he’d dropped me back at my car, we held each other and kissed and promised to meet again when the timing was right. I knew I was trying to guard my heart, but was he? Or was his life simply too full to want more than an occasional roll in the hay?
I skim my hand over the back of Alec’s top drawer to make sure I haven’t missed any other socks or undies that need to join the donation pile when I feel something hard. What is that?
Retrieving the item and pulling it up to eye level, I wrinkle my nose. It’s a small glass salt and pepper shaker. Why on earth would this be back there? Jerking the drawer out a little further, I ensure nothing else is hiding out of sight.
“Where do you want me to put this?” Justin asks, holding an overstuffed plastic trash bag full of what I suspect are old art projects, books, and toys he’s no longer interested in. I don’t donate his clothes. Well, to his brother maybe.
“Just leave them at the top of the steps. There’s nothing in there Alec would want, right?”
“Mom. When’s the last time you saw him read a book on purpose?”
He’s not wrong. “Your brother is a little too high energy for reading. Not like you and me, buddy. Unless it’s an excuse to stay up a few minutes more, he can’t sit still long enough for books. That’s most of what’s in there?” I ask, lifting my chin toward the heavy bag he’s been dragging down the hall with two hands. “Books?”
“That and my old solar system project. And my rock collection.”
Ah. That’s why it sounds like he’s dragging dead bodies down the hall.
“Hey, do you have any idea what Alec is doing with these?”
His face notably changes to a paler color than his usual rosy complexion, but he quickly changes tack. “No. What are those?”
I can’t help but narrow my eyes at him. He’s hiding something. I just know it. But I don’t want to do anything to put a strain on his relationship with his brother. So, I’ll drop it for now. The items look innocent enough. “They look like salt and pepper shakers. Like you’d find on a restaurant table or something.” I jiggle them around in my hand, the glass and metal making a tinging noise as they rub together. Placing them back where I found them, I attempt to watch Justin’s expression out of the corner of my eye but realize he’s already started dragging that bag of bones… I mean, rocks, down the hall to the top of the steps.
Bzzz. Bzzz.
Just as I close the top drawer of Alec’s dresser, the phone dances across it, and I worry I’ve pushed the drawer too hard on this yard sale furniture item. Until I realize it’s moving because of an incoming call, not from force.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Harlow?”
“Yes?” A smile instantly warms my face as I recognize the sexy deep drawl on the other end of the line.
“It’s Harrison. Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No. What’s up?” Stay cool and casual, Harlow. Don’t let on that you want to squeal with joy that he’s called you. It’s the first I’ve spoken with him since the day he dropped me off at The Conch House.
“I, uh. I wanted to see if there was any chance you were free this weekend. Or, tonight, actually.”
Hmmm. This gives me pause. This is exactly how all the men in my life have always treated me. Like a last-minute fill-in when they have nothing better to do. Am I not worthy of a real date? One where you ask someone out and plan a big night? Ugh.
I really hoped he’d be different. But maybe that kind of thing is just in romance novels. “I don’t know, Harrison. I don’t have anything monumental. But not sure I want to change my plans.” It’s only pizza with the boys. But he doesn’t need to know that. And if I teach someone it’s all right to treat me this way, what’s to stop them from making it a habit?
“No, you’re right. I’d never want you to change your plans for me. I’ve just been trying to get up the nerve to ask you on a non-date and couldn’t quite figure out the best approach. So, I let my work distract me until time got away from me.” There’s a rustling sound over the phone as if he’s changing hands, but given one is still in a cast, that’s not likely. Hearing him is pulling at my heartstrings. Gah, I’d give anything to see him tonight. Well, almost. I’m not giving away my dignity.
“I miss you.” His voice is low. Is he somewhere someone could hear him?
Deciding to needle him, I say, “I’m sorry, what was that?”
He clears his voice. “I miss you.” It’s louder this time, but the tone still reserved.
This isn’t smart, Harlow. You’re thinking like the girl from years ago who threw caution to the wind. Only to have it blow back in her face. I can picture his green eyes twinkling in the summer sun as he holds the phone to his ear. “No, I meant the non-date part of the conversation.”
“Oh.” He chuckles. “I wanted to hang out and get to know you better. No dressing up, fancy meals, or thoughts of naked Twister to distract us. We’re both adults. We know the chemistry is there. But I want to really know you. I have a lot of baggage, so I don’t let many people in. I’d completely understand if you weren’t interested. I know it’s a lot. But—”
“My baggage isn’t much lighter, Harrison.” I pause. “Is it okay to say I’m scared? I really like you.
“I like you too,” he blurts almost before I can finish my statement. Hearing it makes me swoon like a kiss from your high school crush on prom night.
“I’m worried our bags might not pair well. Like it might be too much. For both of us.”
The line again grows quiet. “Do you have a date tonight?”
What? Oh, my plans. I wasn’t expecting that. “No. There isn’t anyone else I’d want to non-date but you,” I tease.
“Good.” I can practically hear him grinning through the receiver. “Well, if your plans fall through, give me a call. Bring your baggage with you and we’ll sort it all out together. Somehow, I get the feeling we’ll be a matched set.” His chuckle is a little less hearty, but it’s still making me consider things I shouldn’t.
“Can I think about it and call you back?”
There’s a pause. “Of course. I’ll be here hoping you make my night. But I completely understand. I’d never want you to think you’re an afterthought. Trust me, you’re always on my mind. But I don’t want to keep getting lost in how beautiful you are. I want to know the parts that no one else sees. The things that are most important to you. Then find out if we fit.”
He’s sweet. And he’s right. The chemistry is there. We need to dig a little deeper. “Maybe I’ll call you later.”
As I hang up the call, tapping the pads of my fingers on my lower lip, I consider my options. I can call Mom and see if she’ll watch the boys for the evening and join Harrison for our non-date. Or… the corner of my mouth curls upward at the outlandish thought. He did say he wanted to know the real me. And it doesn’t get much more real than this. It’s a complete 180 from what I was planning to do with my children when it comes to this man. But I don’t want to waste any more time with someone who knows how to use the right words. Actions speak louder.
“Justin, Alec, come here a sec!”
As anticipated, they come charging from both directions like a herd of buffalo. “What?”
“Alec really wants pizza tonight. If my friend is okay with bringing pizza to his place, would you want to come with me?”
“Maybe,” Justin answers cautiously as Alec simultaneously yells, “yes!”
Squatting down in front of my oldest, I try to reassure him. “We don’t have to stay too long. If you’re not happy being there and want to come home, we’ll come home. He’s become a special friend and it’s important to me that you like him, and he like you.” I pull him into my side. “You and Alec will always be the most important thing in my life. Always. No friend will ever change that.” I turn to Alec, who I know is far too young to understand, but don’t want him to feel left out. “I’d love if my friends could be yours too.”
Alec wraps his arms around my neck. He appears to be waiting for the right moment to ask something important.
“What is it, baby?”
“Does your friend like pizza? Cause if he doesn’t, I think it’s a no for me.”
I giggle and turn in time to catch Justin smiling too. “I guess we’ll find out soon.”
Waiting about an hour so I don’t look over eager, I hit Harrison’s number on my caller ID.
“Hello?” Does his voice have a buoyant lift to it, or is it wishful thinking?
“Okay. If you’re sure about this. Where do you want to meet?”
“My place? I promise, no funny business.”
Biting my lip, I can’t help but wish funny business was on the table. Yet, he’s right. If there’s a chance at making a relationship work, we need to put all of our cards on the table. And while this might be risky, I’ve never wanted to go all in so much in my life. “I had my heart set on pizza tonight. You okay if I bring it along?”
“That sounds perfect. When do you want to come by?”
“Is 6:00 okay?”
“Yes. I’ll see you then. Oh, and Harlow?”
“Yeah?”
“I miss you!” His voice carries as if he’s shouting it from the rooftop. I can’t stop the smile on my face.
I only hope it’s still there once his baggage meets mine.