Chapter 26
COVEY
“Okay, we’ve got exactly twenty-three minutes for you to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you today,” Maddox says as he drops onto the floor gracefully, stretching out over his legs. Leo gives him a stern look before taking a seat next to me at the counter.
“And hello to you, too,” I reply. I’m not in the mood for any of this. I want to get on stage so I can pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist for a while.
“Nope, we aren’t doing that. Talk.” Leo swipes the makeup brush in my hand away from me. “I assume this is about Aidan. Did you tell him how you feel?”
“No.” I sigh. “Not really.”
“Words, Covey,” Leo admonishes.
“I went over to his house yesterday, prepared to tell him that I wanted him to be more than my friend. That I wanted us to date. For real.”
“And?” Maddox asks.
“He gave me a whole speech about how happy everyone else is to have me back in Burlington. Everyone except him.”
“Did he say he wasn’t happy to have you back?” Leo asks, giving Maddox a stern look. “You know that floor is filthy, right?”
Maddox doesn’t reply, just sticks his tongue out and goes back to his warm-up.
“No, but it was very clear he didn’t include himself in that grouping.” He even repeated it earlier today, making it clear that he’s separate. And why shouldn’t he be? Our arrangement was for the holidays. Another week and he’s off the hook. No longer obligated to spend any time with me.
“You’re both idiots.”
“And you’re the expert?” I cross my arms and glare at him. Leo gives out shockingly few details about his personal life. If anyone asks him questions, he quickly changes the subject. It’s been clear to me for a long time, but I’m not sure anyone else notices.
“No, Covey. I’m not an expert, but I’m far enough away from this to see the whole picture. You two are so similar. I bet he’s having this same conversation right now.”
“I don’t—”
“Nope, I’m still talking. You might be different in a lot of ways, but where it counts, you’re the same. You’re both in love and trying your damndest to keep from getting hurt and, in the process, hurting each other.”
“You think he feels the same way?”
“Yeah, I think he does. Probably been feeling that way for a long time.”
I try to think about it, looking for clues I might have missed during our time together. Nothing ever felt strange or out of the ordinary, at least until today, when he mentioned seeing me in the battle scene.
We rotate some of the roles and fill in where necessary.
I only did that role twice, and it wasn’t the day Covey was here with the school.
That means he was here on a different day.
Early in the run of the production. Why wouldn’t he have said something about it?
It’s not like it’d be weird for him to watch.
How many other secrets is he keeping from me? What else did I miss?
“Any chance you’re working things out right now?” Maddox asks, looking up from the floor.
“Shut up, Maddox.”
Is it possible? Did I spend so much time attempting to keep my feelings a secret that I completely missed his?
“Well”—he slaps the edges of his legs—“my work here is done. Get ready. We’ve got a show to do.”
I check the clock and flinch. I’m way behind on getting ready.
I rush through the process, frequently referring to my checklist to ensure I don’t forget anything.
My brain switches into performance mode, pushing everything else to the periphery.
They’re not gone so much as on hold. Even so, I can see Aidan’s face in my mind, the way he looked at me in the hallway earlier today.
It’s not the one I want to see tonight, with the red rims of his eyes and the way he refused to meet my gaze.
I dig through my memories to try to replace it.
The one that immediately pops to mind is the look on his face after our first kiss—the one where we practiced for my family.
For a brief second, I saw something there that I’d mostly forgotten.
Now, that image features in my mind. The look he’s giving me then is nothing like how I look at my friends. It’s a look of want and affection.
God, what I would do to see it again.