Chapter 16 #2
He laughs a little, letting out a gusty breath. “Jesus, I thought you were going for a Godfather II kiss of death reenactment or something.”
I sit back in my chair. “What, the ‘I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart’?”
“‘You broke my heart!’” James intones with feeling.
We laugh like loons, but inside my heart truly is breaking a little. Change is rushing up like a rising tide against me, and
I am unmoored.
Finn
Since I really don’t want to mope around the apartment waiting for Chess to come home from her night out with James, I decide
I’ll go out to dinner, too.
I call Jake, who informs me that Dex, Rolondo, and one of the tight ends, North, will be joining us. Oh, and we’ll be eating
at Rolondo’s house. I really don’t care what we do as long as I’m out.
Like me, Rolondo lives in a condo. His is in the Central Business District. Located on the fifteenth floor, the place looks like something straight out of Versailles with French-style woodwork painted pale gray, mirrored walls, and ornate crystal chandeliers.
“Jesus, Ro,” I say as he leads me into a white kitchen with black-and-white checker pattern floors. “I feel as though I should
have dressed for the occasion.”
Dex is leaning against a counter and drinking a beer. “Londo has always been particular about his place. By ‘particular,’
I mean fussy as all hell.”
“A man’s home is his castle,” Rolondo intones.
I accept the beer Rolondo hands me. “I don’t think you’re supposed to take that literally.”
Dex snickers just as the doorbell rings again.
“Jealous bitches,” Rolondo says before he goes to answer the door. But his voice echoes in the hall. “You keep it up and see
if I share my ribs.”
“Shit,” Dex mutters. “That’s his mom’s recipe. You don’t want to miss out on those ribs.”
I don’t doubt that. The kitchen is fragrant with the scent of slow-roasted meat and spices. My mouth waters a little.
It’s weird. I’m almost at a loss of how to act. Jake and I are tight, but I haven’t hung out socially with the others very
much. Dex is stiff too, clutching his beer like he wants to crush the bottle.
I don’t know him well enough to be certain, but he seems low. Given that there’s a bounty on his virginity, and the press
has been hounding him, I’d say he has a right to be. Funny thing is, I know without a doubt that the big guy is not a virgin.
Not after the way he talked about his woman’s panties.
It pisses me off the way the press has been treating him. To make matters worse with Dex, someone stole his phone and put
nude pictures of his girl up on social media. When I think about someone doing that to Chess, the level of rage I feel scares
me. I don’t know how he deals with it.
In the hall, I hear Jake blabbing about something and North’s voice joining in.
Rolondo leads Jake and North into the kitchen.
“Shit, it’s like a wake in here.” Jake glares around. “You two fighting or something?”
Dex straightens, his brows lifting. “No. The fuck, Ryder?”
“Don’t listen to him,” I tell Dex. “He lives for drama.”
“Nope. I just happen to have four—”
“Sisters,” we all say as one.
“We know,” I add with an eye roll. “We all know.”
Jake wrenches a beer out of the fridge and snicks the cap off, glowering. “I do not repeat myself that often.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Rolondo mutters as he checks on something in the oven.
“Fuck,” North leans in. “Is that macaroni and cheese?”
“And cornbread,” Rolondo adds.
“I’m hanging at your house more often.” North is new, having signed at the beginning of this season. The lucky bastard was
a free agent at the time and a superstar. Since our team was desperate for a good tight end, he basically got to write his
paycheck.
Then he promptly got hurt and has only just gotten back to being healthy.
Something we all need, since he’s capable of making great plays.
Rolondo goes about finishing dinner, ordering Dex to get the plates since he’s been here often, Jake to cut the cornbread,
and for me and North to get the hell out of the way.
“Why do they get special treatment?” Jake grouses.
“Manny cuts a finger,” Rolondo says, “and he throws shitty passes, and it looks bad on me when I try to catch them.”
“And North?”
“It’s his first time here. Stop asking questions and cut the damn bread.”
Laughing, I help Dex with the silverware, and we’re soon eating the best Southern-style home-cooked meal I’ve had since I can remember.
“Damn, Ro,” I say between bites of tender ribs, “if you’re in doubt about what to do after retirement, you could easily find
work as a chef.”
He grunts, sucking a bone clean. “Me, Dex, and a couple of our friends from college have been thinking about opening some
restaurants. Get in it early so we can learn what we’re doing.”
“No shit?” I glance at Dex, who shovels macaroni in his mouth without looking up.
“Could be fun.”
Rolondo’s gaze slides to Dex, and his expression turns thoughtful, but he doesn’t linger. “Yeah. Never too early to plan.”
“I hate thinking about the future,” Jake says, grabbing another piece of cornbread. “Change sucks.”
“Change will happen whether you like it or not, man.” North takes a pull on his beer. “Resist all you want, but it will get
you.”
“Like the boogeyman, eh?” Jake says with a snort.
“I think about it,” I say. “The future.”
“Scares the shit out of me,” Rolondo admits. “Not playing ball. But what can you do? Such is life.”
“Not everything good in life revolves around football,” Dex says in a low voice. He glares around the table when we all go
silent and stare at him. “Please tell me you chuckleheads know this.”
North sits back in his seat. “What, you mean women?” He rolls his eyes. “Try again.”
“Finding someone to spend your life with matters,” Dex insists in his quiet way.
North snorts. “Met a woman, fell hard. So hard, I insisted we get married. Wanted to lock that shit down, you know.” He flicks
a crumb off the table. “Had two good years before she got bored and fucked my teammate. Make that three of them.”
“At once?” Jake asks, almost as if he can’t help himself. But then blanches when North gives him a death glare. “Sorry, it just came out . . . That’s fucked up, man.”
North sighs. “Maybe she did. Who the fuck knows?”
Rolondo leans in. “So, you think that because your wife ended up being a cheater that it’s all bullshit?” He shakes his head.
“Man, do not give her that power.”
“I’m not.” North scowls. “I’m just saying . . .” He makes an agitated sound. “I don’t know. Just don’t put all your hopes
on a woman.”
“I’m not,” Rolondo says succinctly.
“Or a man,” North adds.
Ro shrugs but doesn’t look convinced.
I, on the other hand, am not liking this conversation. My chest is getting tight, and I find myself blurting out what’s on
my mind. “Chess and I got together over the bye week.”
“What? Just now?” Rolondo’s brows lift high. “I thought you’ve been hitting that since the beginning.”
“Hey.” I glare at him, and he holds his hands up in peace.
“Sorry, sorry. I thought you were having relations with Ms. Copper since you met her.”
I roll my eyes, and he laughs.
“Anyway,” I continue, “she has her insurance check, so she can get a new place, but—”
“Let her move out,” North cuts in. “For the love of all that’s holy, just let her go and take it slow.”
Yeah, no.
“I get that you’re coming off a bad relationship, but I don’t see the problem with Chess staying. I want her to stay.”
He utters a long-suffering sigh. “You ever live with a woman?”
“I’ve been living with her for a while now.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t been fucking—having relations—with her until now.”
Jake snickers, and I flip him off, as North keeps talking.
“Being roommates is one thing. You start sleeping with her and suddenly she’s going to expect more. Girlfriends have rights.” He holds up a hand and starts counting off on his fingers. “The right to know where you’re going. Where you’ve been.”
“I don’t mind telling her those things. I want her to know.”
North’s gaze is relentless. “The right to complain when your job keeps you away.”
“That’s true,” Jake says. “They do complain.”
“When have you had a relationship?” I scoff.
“I’ve dated. They always complain. Hell, hookups complain when you roll out of bed to gear up for practice.”
Rolondo nods. “Fellas talk about how their wives give them shit all season. And you don’t even want to know about training
camp woes they’ll lay on your shoulders. Especially if you have kids.”
Frustration claws up my throat, and I run a hand over my face. “You guys are supposed to be making me feel better, not telling
me this.”
“Oh, is that what we’re doing here?” Rolondo asks with a laugh.
I look at Dex, who is still brooding. “You’re living with Fiona. Help me out.”
He stares at me for a long moment. “I don’t regret living with Fiona for a second. I love it.”
“See,” I say to the doomsday crew, while gesturing toward Dex.
“But,” Dex continues in that maddeningly methodical way of his, “I think she wants to cut and run on me.”
“What?” Rolondo and I say at the same time.
Dex looks completely blank as he picks at his thumbnail. “She’s depressed about all this shit, and instead of turning to me,
she’s retreating.”
It’s almost ponderous the way he tries to lift his shoulders in a shrug. “So I guess there’s truth to what they’re saying.
This life isn’t easy on our loved ones. Not by a long shot.”
I slump back in my chair as the guys start peppering Dex about his girl. My mind drifts to Chess. We always talk things out. Our relationship is built on communication; we had that down pat before we even touched each other. Chess wouldn’t retreat.
Yeah, but she’s been hesitant about you this whole time. She’s one step from freaking, even now. How is she going to be for
the long haul? When you’re gone more than you’re around. Do you blame her? Who would want that?
Heartburn hits me in a rush, and I rub at my chest. Fuck, why did I go out with the guys? Ignorance truly is bliss. The future
is a dark, murky place I want no part of anymore.
North glances my way, his gaze knowing. “You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?”
“Fuck you,” I say without any heat. I know he’s only looking out for me. I still hate him a little at the moment.
“Don’t listen to all of this shit,” Dex says in a low voice. “I have friends who are in good relationships, happy relationships.”
“Are you happy?” I can’t help but ask.
He strokes his beard, clearly thinking about how to answer, which doesn’t bode well. We all fall silent, waiting.
“I’m in flux,” he finally says. “I’m in love with a woman, and she is my joy. And that scares the shit out of me.”
The table is silent as we all take in his words. North nods slightly, looking so mournful my heartburn rises again.
“Am I happy?” Dex repeats. “Yeah. I’m happy as much as a clueless guy can be. Am I at peace? No, not yet, but I’m working
on that.”
“I’m depressed,” Jake announces, shoving his plate back from his place. “This conversation is depressing.”
“We can’t always be talking about the newest Zelda expansion pass,” I say, pushing my plate back, too.
Jake rolls his eyes but then looks at me. “What are you going to do?”
“I asked her to stay with me. I can’t take that back.” I. Don’t. Want. To. “I guess I’ll proceed with caution and hope for the best.”
Sometimes I really fucking hate that I can read people so well, because my guys clearly think my new plan is crap. They’re
kind enough not to say it out loud, but the damage is done. By the time I head home in a cab, I’m popping antacids, in a foul
mood, and slightly drunk.