Chapter Forty-One - James
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
James
God, her hormones were going to be the death of him, but what a way to go.
Kate’s hands pressed against his chest with purpose, and James sank into the mattress, his heart hammering in his chest. She threw one leg over him, her movements a promise that made his breath catch.
“Kate...” His voice was low, tentative, as though speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile moment.
As Kate moved above him, James was struck by the gut-wrenching realization that this was the same position he'd been in with the other woman—but here, with Kate, it wasn’t just sex for him; it was love, connection.
Kate positioned herself over him, her body aligning with his in a way that made James’s breath catch. He could feel the heat of her, the wetness teasing against the tip of his erection, and his hips gave a sharp, instinctive jerk. He stopped himself immediately, gritting his teeth and forcing every muscle in his body to remain still. He wasn’t going to push, wasn’t going to take.
This was her choice—her pace. She needed him, and he would let her take whatever she wanted.
The restraint was agonizing, his body screamed for movement, for connection. He had spent months without her, desperate for her to let him back in—not just into her bed, but into her life, her trust, her heart.
And if all she wanted right now, was his body, it was hers. And it would be for the rest of his life. His body would always belong to her.
Kate’s eyes locked onto his, steady and unwavering, and the intensity of her gaze burned through him. Slowly, deliberately, she shifted her hips, aligning herself with him. The head of his erection pressed into her wet heat, and James felt his entire body tense, his lungs straining for air. He was on the edge of everything—of her, of them, of the life they might rebuild—and the anticipation was unbearable.
He didn’t move. He didn’t dare.
Kate held his gaze, her expression layered with something he couldn’t quite name—determination, vulnerability, maybe even trust. She moved again, and the sensation was so exquisite, so perfect, that James thought he might shatter from it.
When she finally sank down onto him, taking him fully into her, James cried out, his voice raw and unrestrained. The pleasure was overwhelming, but it was more than physical. It was everything—her warmth, her acceptance, her presence. The moment filled a space inside him that had been hollow and aching for far too long.
James’s hands gripped her hips, not to guide her but to anchor himself to the moment. She moved above him, her body fitting against his as perfectly as it always had, and he felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. He wanted to be inside her in every possible way—not just her body, but her life, her heart, her future.
Her breathing quickened, her chest rising and falling against his. She tilted her head back slightly, exposing the graceful curve of her neck. James’s hands tightened reflexively on her hips, his own body responding with a near-painful intensity. He shifted slightly beneath her, trying to adjust, trying to ease the overwhelming pressure building low in his abdomen.
“James,” she whispered, her voice a breathy tremor that sent another wave of heat surging through him.
“I’m here,” he managed, his voice thick and unsteady.
Kate’s hands slid over his shoulders, her nails lightly scraping his skin as she adjusted her position. He felt the shift of her body, the movements that signaled she was finding her rhythm. His chest tightened as her breaths grew quicker, her soft gasps filling the space between them.
The way her body moved against his was exquisite—her hips rolling, her thighs tightening, her fingers curling into his shoulders. James swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest as he fought to keep himself from surrendering to the overwhelming sensations coursing through him.
She felt incredible—tight and hot and wet. The way she gripped him was better than he remembered, better than he deserved. The sheer pleasure of her movements, the way her body had taken him inside her, was almost unbearable. His body was screaming for release, every muscle taut, his skin burning with need. But he wouldn’t—he couldn’t—let go yet.
His jaw clenched, and he let go of her hips to dig his fingers into the mattress, his nails biting into the fabric as he focused every ounce of his willpower on holding back. He wasn’t going to let his own pleasure steal this moment from her.
She was moving faster now, taking him deep over and over. James groaned and stared up at her. She was a goddess.
Kate’s head tipped back, a soft cry escaping her lips as her body arched against his. The sound was like a spark to his already smoldering nerves. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, the sharp sting of pain barely registered.
Her breathing grew erratic, her hips rocking against him. Her hands moved to his forearms, clutching them—not to stop him, but to anchor herself. Her touch burned against his skin, sending another wave of heat through him, but it only fueled his determination to see her through.
“Let go,” he murmured, his voice barely audible over the pounding of his heart. “I’ve got you, Kate. Let go.”
Her body tensed, every muscle tightening as her breaths came in quick, shallow gasps. He felt the moment she surrendered, her movements stilling as the tension broke and waves of pleasure shuddered through her.
James exhaled shakily, his own body locked tight as he held her through it, his hands firm but gentle on her hips. He surged up to take her in his arms. He pressed his forehead to her shoulder, his breathing ragged, his entire being focused on the woman in his lap.
She wilted against him, her body limp and pliant, her breaths gradually slowing. James closed his eyes, his lips brushing the curve of her neck in a tender, reverent kiss.
James was still hard, the ache pulsing insistently between them, a physical reminder of the desire that hadn’t waned for a single second since she had climbed into his lap. The pressure was maddening, but he forced himself to stay perfectly still, his hands resting gently on her back.
His body screamed at him to move, to thrust up into her warmth, but he gritted his teeth and kept his focus on the woman in his arms. She had given him this moment, trusted him with her body, her vulnerability, and he wouldn’t ruin it by letting his own need take precedence. His breathing was labored, each inhale shaky as he tried to quiet the fire coursing through him.
“I love you,” he whispered into her hair, his voice thick with emotion and raw with the intensity of his restraint.
Kate stirred slightly, her movements sending ripples of sensation through him, making his control falter for the briefest second. His hips shifted involuntarily, just enough to press himself deeper against her, and he froze immediately, biting down hard on his bottom lip to stop the groan rising in his throat. This was her moment, not his.
Her hand slid over his chest, her fingers soft but steady as they traced the lines of his collarbone. The tenderness of her touch was almost too much, and he closed his eyes, willing his body to settle even as her warmth surrounded him, as her breaths evened out and her body softened against his.
“I know,” she murmured, her voice heavy with exhaustion but carrying an undeniable note of peace.
James tightened his hold on her, letting her weight settle fully against him. The hardness pressed between them was a constant, aching reminder of his need for her, but he ignored it, focusing instead on the way she felt in his arms. His heart pounded against her palm as she rested her hand against his chest, and he savored every second of this connection.
Her head rested against his shoulder, and he pressed a kiss to her hair, breathing in her familiar, grounding scent. His body remained coiled with tension, his muscles taut, but his focus stayed on her. On the way she relaxed in his embrace. On the way her breathing slowed and her fingers moved absently against his skin, like she couldn’t stop touching him even in her half-drowsy state.
Kate shifted slightly in his lap, and he tensed, every nerve on edge as her movements sent a new wave of sensation surging through him. He clung to his restraint, his hands flexing briefly before settling on her hips, anchoring her in place.
“I forgive you,” she whispered suddenly, her voice so soft he almost didn’t believe he’d heard it.
His eyes snapped open, his breath catching in his throat. For a moment, he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. Then he pulled back just enough to see her face, searching her eyes for confirmation. What he saw there—exhaustion, quiet resolve, and a flicker of something warm—undid him completely.
“I don’t deserve that,” he said hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper.
Her lips curved into a faint smile, and her fingers brushed his cheek, sending shivers through him. “Maybe not,” she said, her voice gentle but sure. “But I forgive you anyway.”
James’s chest ached with the force of his emotions, his tears spilling over as he pressed a shaky kiss to her forehead. His body still burned with unfulfilled need, but it didn’t matter. She had just given him the only thing that truly mattered—her forgiveness.
His breath came in sharp, uneven gasps, and his vision blurred with tears. “Kate,” he whispered, his voice breaking. His hands flexed on her hips, the feeling of her body cradling his own making him ache with both love and need.
Her fingers brushed against his face, soft and reverent. “I love you,” she murmured, her voice trembling.
It was too much.
The combination of her touch, her words, the overwhelming relief of her forgiveness—it unraveled him. His control, carefully held together for so long, broke apart in an instant. A low, guttural sound escaped him, and before he could stop himself, he surged upward, his body giving in to the overwhelming wave of pleasure and emotion.
He groaned her name, his forehead dropping to her shoulder as his body tightened against hers. The release came in an overwhelming rush, raw and unrestrained, his entire being pouring into her as if trying to prove—without words—that she was everything to him.
For a moment, the world went silent, nothing existing but the feeling of her against him, around him. It was different from anything he’d ever experienced before—deeper, richer, and full of something he couldn’t name but felt in every cell of his body.
As the aftershocks rippled through him, he pulled her close, his arms wrapping tightly around her as if he were afraid she might disappear. “Kate,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Shh,” she murmured, her hand smoothing over his hair. Her voice was soft, calm, and steady. “It’s okay.”
Her reassurance eased the knot of panic in his chest, though he still felt tears sting his eyes. “I love you,” he said again, needing her to feel the truth of it, needing her to know it wasn’t just words—it was his entire soul laid bare.
Kate cupped his face, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. Her eyes were warm, her lips curving into a soft smile that made his heart ache. “I know,” she said simply.
She rested her forehead against his, her fingers tracing gentle patterns along his jaw. And for the first time in what felt like forever, James allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other.