Chapter 20 Azahara
Azahara
Illyan didn’t stop them from leaving as both Kaed and Azahara walked up the stairs.
She felt nervous, though there was no reason to be.
Kaed had made it clear that he would wait for her to finish getting cleaned up, indicating that he wouldn’t be joining her in the shower.
Not that she would have minded, but it was probably for the best. After the traumatic events of the last day, they were both on the edge of desire, a line she knew she didn’t have the strength to resist.
“Are you going to be okay?” Kaed asked, leaning against the doorframe as Azahara stood in the bathroom with her new clothes in hand.
“Yeah, of course,” she replied.
“Okay, good. If you need me, I’ll be right here.” He kissed her forehead and helped close the door behind her.
Azahara took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Glancing around, she noticed that the candles weren’t lit. It wasn’t surprising, though. The Magic of the wards kept them burning indefinitely in this space. Without the Magic’s comforting presence, this place felt unnaturally dark.
The overcast sky outside let in only a faint light, just enough for her to locate the handle to turn on the water. As she reached for it, she realized she was trembling.
She grabbed her own hand to steady herself, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. In a hushed whisper to herself, she murmured, “Shh… Shh...” Slowly, she turned the handle and switched on the shower. The rush of water sounded like heavy rain, instantly taking her mind back to the meadow.
She remembered the hard rain pounding against her face as she looked up at Ku’luk, the blade in his hand. A soft gasp escaped her lips, and she stumbled back from the water. Every inch of her was trembling, causing her bones to ache and making it difficult to stand.
She leaned against the wall and placed her forehead on her arm. Eyes open, focusing on nothing but the cracks between the tiles. This was her home; she should feel safe here. You are safe. It’s okay. She thought, in an attempt to convince herself that she was overreacting.
Removing her tattered clothes and tossing them off to the side, she took another unsteady breath. The room went in and out of darkness as thicker storm clouds shrouded the sky.
After a moment of anticipation, she stepped under the water and let it drench her.
Almost immediately, she felt like she was drowning. Feeling her throat closing and the darkness weighing down on her, she tried to move but found no strength in her legs.
Then as if her sorrow had summoned him, Goddrick was there, his hand over her mouth. The water now turned blood as he drowned himself in her. All of the horrors of the day flooded back, and her knees hit the ground with a thud.
The arrow shattering her chest. The Vaeragi between her legs ready to strip her sanity. The sword penetrating through her heart. The sound of her neck snapping played over and over in her ears.
Azahara hadn’t realized she was screaming and curled in a ball, crouched with her head between her legs. Wanting to be free but not having the strength to do it.
Hands gripped at her arms, and she thrashed away, screaming, “Don’t take me! No!”
“Aza, it’s me.” His voice ruptured her mind, and she stopped fighting immediately.
“Kaed…” His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her to her feet. The water drenched her, and she fought to move from its grip.
“I’m here with you.” The other arm wrapped around the upper part of her chest, his hand cupping the side of her head. He stepped them forward so the water wasn’t hitting her directly in the face, but between them.
She grabbed his arm and let out a soft sob. Her shoulders trembled as she felt her sun on her back. “I-I don’t know… what happened…” She tugged at his shirt, realizing just then that he had run in there fully clothed.
“Shh…” His thumb brushed against her cheek, the water dripping from over her shoulders and down her body.
Kaed never let her go as his hand brushed gentle circles around her cheek, chin, and neck. He was washing the caked-on blood away, making sure not to be rough, and took heed to take his time.
She leaned her head back against his chest, her eyes staying closed while he inched across her jawline and neck, cleaning her up. The arm under her breasts was strong, and even if she again lost the strength in her legs, she would not fall.
His hand moved to her collarbone, continuing the gentle circular motion to rid her of the blood and grime.
He leaned his head down and rested his chin and lips against the curve of her shoulder.
Their heartbeat raced one another to a finish line that didn’t exist. “I shouldn’t have left you.
” Her breathing was becoming heavier, and she gripped at his arm.
His fingers brushed the underside of her breasts. “Never again.”
“I… I should have known better…” Memories of her journal entries about the post-trauma of death were enough of a reminder that anything, and everything, could be a trigger.
He didn’t say anything, only held her close. Then, after a beat of searching for the right words, he whispered, “You aren’t invincible, and while you are strong, you don’t need to do it alone. I’m here.”
Her eyes burned, and she squeezed them tight.
Kaed brushed across the upper part of her chest, taking care not to touch her lower. The grime was disappearing, and slowly but surely, she was beginning to feel clean again.
Once it had all drained away, Kaed turned her to face him and embraced her, allowing the water to pour over them. “Your clothes…” Azahara said, her voice breathless. The steam around them had built so high that visibility was becoming scarce.
“Can be dried,” he retorted with a chuckle. “Are you okay?”
Azahara smiled and rubbed her head against him. “Not really, but I will be.”
Kaed began to release her, but she stopped him. “Don’t go.” Her voice was panicked. She heard him let out a breathy sigh. Her heart pounded when he stepped back to her, his arms wrapping back around her tightly.
“Red, I’m strong, but my willpower won’t last.” Feeling the heat in her cheeks was the least of her problems. Everything below her throat turned to fire. The butterflies had been released in her lower stomach, and there was no stopping the tension between her legs.
His lips were mere inches from her ear. “You are my greatest strength.” One of his hands gently took hold of her neck, his thumb running a slow line across her jaw. “And my greatest weakness.” She felt his lips kiss the bridge between her ear and neck, and a soft gasp slipped.
He went still, her eyes focusing on his arm where she saw the hair on it stand. “Tell me to leave.” His voice was deep and laced with desire.
Her entire body buzzed with rapture. “No.”
Help me forget, please.
“Damn it.” Her chin was lifted, and his mouth took hers roughly. She felt the intoxicating blend of sensation and emotion that she moaned into his mouth. His once careful hand moved to fill it with her breast. His thumb flicked at its hard bud before kneading it between his fingers.
Their bodies sang a symphony of desire as their lips caressed and tongues intertwined. The sweet taste of him lingered on her tongue.
He walked her backward and pressed her back against the stone wall. His fingertips traced the curves of her cheeks and jaw, exploring the contour of her neck and entangling them into her wet hair. The fire his touch ignited in her spread through her veins and set her ablaze.
Her heartbeat quickened while his body pressed closer to hers, molding with a fervor that spoke of a passion and craving that had been subdued for too long. Everything before this was left behind, and she gave herself entirely to him.
One of her legs lifted, and his hand instinctively went to it. His fingertips traced along her thigh and to her hip, where his hand gripped. His clothes were a barrier to everything she wanted, and she let out a frustrated groan between their still-entangled lips.
Her hands gripped his shirt and began unbuttoning it. He grinned, gently biting at her bottom lip. Her fingers shaking at the rush of pleasure just that simple act had caused, and he quickly grabbed her hands. “I’ll get that for you,” he whispered against her swollen lips.
Watching as he leaned back from her, his gaze trailed down her naked body. She didn’t hide from him but instead embraced how he devoured her with his eyes. “You are beautiful.” He tore the fabric open, the buttons bouncing off the floor as they scattered across the room.
As he began peeling the shirt off his back, she bit her lip and tried to catch her breath.
His gaze narrowed, and she let out a huff of air.
He leaned back into her and helped guide his shirt down his arms. “If you weren’t right here, and I could touch you, I’d not believe you were real.
” He kissed her again but didn’t linger long.
He began trailing his lips down her jaw, planting kisses while every so often biting at her skin. Each created a rocketing spark through her entire body. While his lips explored her neck, his fingers found every inch of her body.
Kaed moved to her breasts, which filled his large hands with ease. Then they were at her pear-shaped waist and hips. He moved them back to her rear, once again filling his grip with its ample size. With each place found, the tightness between her legs became more and more unbearable.
The sensation of his lips finding her nipple sent a ripple of pleasure through her.
Her hand moved quickly to his head and gripped his hair between her fingers.
The soft delicate exhale, which would have been barely audible to anyone but him, slipped between her lips.
She felt him grin just as he took her nipple between his teeth and gently bit down.
The intensity of her moan grew, and the resonating mix of pleasure and pain vibrated through her body.