Chapter 35
Sydney
There. I wiggle in my seat, excited. And more than a bit nervous. Just ignore that part, you wimp. Continue to embrace your inner warrior princess. Because my trip to Italy is booked.
I start the ignition, my mind in overdrive. It’s still so far off, but knowing I have a date to circle on my calendar makes it feel real. I can’t wait to start pouring through tour guides, making lists of all the popular tourist destinations as well as a few that might be off the beaten path. Visions of walking along cobblestone alleyways in quaint villages come to mind. Taking in the sights. Shops, eateries, museums, and churches. Gah, I can’t wait.
As I put my car in park and grab my bag, I head inside to grab some takeout. Thoughts
of everything Italy has to offer had apparently blinded me to where I was going. As reality strikes, I realize I’ve mindlessly walked into Luigi’s without thinking. As if I was on autopilot.
Geez, you idiot. You couldn’t have gone anywhere else? There’s got to be half a dozen other Italian places within a few miles of here. But I’m here now. There’s no turning back. It’s just dinner. I’ll place my order and wait in the damn car.
Glancing up, my eyes connect with Luigi’s. The tenderness in his deep brown eyes is unmistakable. I steel myself to make small talk with him. This man has been nothing but kind to me. And long before I met Matteo.
“Sydney,” he greets, quickly coming from behind the counter with his arms outstretched. How I thought I could treat him like any random restaurant owner is a joke. This man presided over my wedding, for God’s sake. “How are you holding up, dear? I hate that we never see you anymore.”
I turn away, blinking rapidly, trying desperately to hold back the tears. Why does this man have to be so sweet?
“I’m fine.” Lies. All lies. I want to cry out, where is he? Tell me everything. Please. All the earlier excitement over future plans has disappeared. I picture a beautiful iridescent bubble popping in the air before me. Poof!
Scanning the space, I notice the restaurant barely has any patrons. That’s odd. Looking closer, I discover those aren’t restaurant diners, but employees. “Oh. Are you not open today? The door was unlocked, so I just walked right in without looking.”
“For you, my door is always open.” He gives me a loving smile. One I’d expect an Italian father-in-law might give. “It’s hard to explain, but my sweet friend, Luna, and her son, Mimmo, are coming here for dinner. So, I decided to take the rare opportunity to turn off the open sign. Wednesday isn’t a busy one for us, anyway.”
Wow, this Luna must be special indeed. I clutch my purse tighter as my stomach begins to churn with unease. “I’m so sorry to intrude.” Spinning on my heel for the door, I feel his gentle hand on my forearm, stopping me.
Just then, a striking woman walks in with a little boy I recognize. She’s thin and has long, straight, dark hair. It’s almost black. While the little guy by her side sports lighter brown curls atop his head and a lopsided grin. Where do I know him from?
“Luigi!” he squeals before rushing into the older man’s embrace.
“Ah, Mimmo. I’ve missed you.”
“You’re silly. I saw you this morning.” He cackles, his deep dimples making this cherub even more captivating.
Wait. Mimmo? I’ve met him before. On our wedding day. Is he Luca’s son? But why would he be here and not with his father?
“Mimmo, do you remember Sydney?” Luigi asks.
“Yes. Hi.”
I’m shocked a child so small would remember me after all these years. “Hi. It’s been a while.”
“You must be Sydney,” the stunning woman says. “I’m Antonia.”
Hmm . That’s odd. I assumed this would be Luna after what Luigi had mentioned. I glance over toward Luigi in time to catch a slight grimace.
“Did you invite Sydney to dinner, Luigi?” an older woman asks from behind Antonia. I hadn’t even noticed her come in. How does she know who I am?
“No. But it seems the universe had different plans.” He smiles. The kind man gives the older woman a knowing look. As if they’ve got some sort of telepathy going, she nods. “Please, join us.”
“Oh, no. I feel terrible for intruding on your meal.” This has to be someone incredibly special if he’d close the restaurant for her. Geez, is she some sort of celebrity? She certainly looks like a Hollywood starlet.
“No, I insist,” Antonia says, winding her arm through mine as if we’re old friends. “Please, come sit.” She motions toward a large table where plates, cutlery and glasses are already laid out.
Well, this is awkward. But you wanted Italian. And from the sounds of the kind people surrounding me, Italian is definitely what you’re getting.
“Can I have a Shirley Temple, Luigi? With extra cherries?”
“Yes, Mimmo. Go on over to the bar and order it like a big boy.”
Pulling out a chair, I nervously take a seat. This was so not part of my plans tonight. Okay, this wasn’t ever on my radar.
“I’ve been hoping for this moment to come.”
My eyebrows squish together. “Dinner here with Luigi?” That has to be what she’s saying. She couldn’t possibly be referring to me.
“No, silly. I see enough of that old man.” She giggles demurely. “I meant you.”
I give a slight headshake, baffled. “Why me?”
“I was the only one who missed your wedding day. Well, me and Nico. But that’s a story for another day.”
I tilt my head, perplexed, trying to put the pieces together.
“You’re the love of my brother’s life. The only true joy I recall seeing on his face since we lost our mother is when he speaks of you.”
My eyes well with tears. “You’re… Hi.” I pull her in for a hug before I can stop myself. She tenses under my embrace, and I instantly regret not having more control over myself. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m just so happy to meet you.” A tear escapes, and I swat at it. My emotions are starting to bubble to the surface. I need to get myself in check.
“It’s okay. I… well, I used to be a very affectionate person. But life has stolen much of that from me.”
Mimmo runs over with his drink. It’s full to the brim with a bubbly red liquid and what looks like ten cherries floating on top.
“Dominico. You couldn’t fit any more in there?” the older woman asks.
“Maria, let the boy enjoy.” Luigi grins proudly. “Mimmo, why don’t you take my phone and go play that silly game we downloaded with Daniel.” Luigi points to one of the younger servers who’s sitting at a table, folding napkins.
“Okay.” He hops up from his chair, some of the fizzy drink sloshing over the rim of his glass.
“Careful, Dominico,” Maria scolds.
“Can I get you a drink, Sydney? A glass of Pinot Grigio, perhaps?”
This man knows me well. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Here you go, Luna.” A server places a small plate of sliced lemon next to Antonia before depositing a basket of bread in front of me.
Luna?
This is who Luigi was referring. But why the name game? Is it a nickname? Then the conversation with Carol Ann comes to mind. Luke Barrett. Was Luna the name she went by now that she’d come to the states?
It feels rude to help myself to food when no one else is, but my stomach is growling, and I’m so nervous I need something to distract me. Reaching into the basket, I pull out a warm roll. The scent of fresh bread and rosemary wafts toward me, making the noises in my tummy grow louder. Thank heavens Mimmo isn’t still here. He’d probably crack up laughing. I offer the basket to Maria before reaching for the butter knife.
Antonia lifts her water glass to her bright red lips. “I wasn’t sure if you drank.”
I give her a blank look. So much of this conversation seems like I need a cue card to keep up. “Why is that?”
“Since my brother is an alcoholic.”
The butter knife clangs against the plate in my shock. My mouth becomes dry. “What?” I knew he didn’t drink because of his father. But how had I not known this? “He told me he didn’t drink because his father had issues with alcohol.”
“In the beginning, that’s true. But sadly, he’s discovered he has little to no control over his addiction. Especially when under stress.”
My eyes hold Luigi’s, and the pain there causes my heart to clench.
“Where is he, Luigi?”
He sits silently. His face awash with sorrow.
“He’s in rehab,” Antonia whispers quietly beside me.
My face falls into my hands. Why couldn’t he tell me this? Something so important. Is this what he was asking me to wait for? “I don’t understand.” I sniffle.
“Oh, dear. He was trying so hard to protect you.” I glance up to see Maria’s kind eyes on mine.
“As upset as I am that he walked away from me, again, I understood his concern for my safety when it came to the crime family drama. But why keep this from me too?”
Luigi’s eyebrows nearly jump to his hairline. “You know about the Messinas?”
“Well, I didn’t until recently. A friend helped me piece it all together.”
I notice Antonia’s head tilt next to me as the server deposits my drink. The sight of it no longer having the appeal it once did.
“How would they put the pieces together?”
I can practically hear my wacky friend’s southern drawl in my ears as I recall the play-by-play from the other night. “Turns out Hanover is a much smaller place than I originally thought. Her cousin used to work for Luca.”
Her mouth falls open in shock.
“Yes. Apparently, the police recruited him to get more information on the drug smuggling accusation. He helped to clear him.”
Maria’s hand flies to her chest. “Please send our gratitude to your friend.”
“Yes,” Luigi interjects. “Please let them know they’re welcome here anytime. On the house.”
Carol Ann’s description of George’s eating habits come to mind.
“Most of the time, I see George when our family gets together for a meal or something. He always eats like he’s so hungry he could gnaw the bark off a pine tree.” She wrinkles her face. “It’s gross.”
I giggle. “Yeah, I don’t think I’d do that to you. This guy isn’t someone you want to give a free pass to eat here.”
Luigi gives me a curious glance.
“Just trust me on this one.”
He chuckles.
Unable to hold back, I turn to Antonia. “I’m sure there’s so much more I have yet to learn. But I don’t understand why he couldn’t tell me. I was his wife.”
I am his wife. Aren’t I? I haven’t started divorce proceedings yet, anyway.
“He couldn’t tell you. He had to do this for him,” Antonia says unapologetically. “There are some wounds that take time, and personal conviction.”
Luigi and Maria look lovingly at Antonia as she speaks. They both seem to carry a heart-aching pride for this woman. I’m sure that’s another story I have yet to learn.
“It couldn’t be about you, or Luna, or his vengeance.” Luigi takes a sip of his water, his words sounding broken as they fall from his lips. “He knew he’d never stay sober if he didn’t do it for himself. And he couldn’t live with the thought of disappointing you again.”
My eyes again become wet with unshed tears. I thought I was done crying for this man.
“He wasn’t drinking when he left you,” Antonia says. “Not the first time, at least. He’d gotten wind that someone had threatened to harm me.” Her eyes hold mine. “And you.”
I swallow hard. Holy crap. The reality of this situation still doesn’t seem real.
“He was overwhelmed with guilt for what he’d done, bringing you into his life. Matteo thought walking away would decrease the chances of anyone connecting the two of you. But he also wanted you to have a better future than one tied to him.” Her deep brown eyes hold mine. “He was struggling with that part.”
The tears are falling freely now. I try to dab at them with my napkin. “But why couldn’t we have gone into hiding as Luca had? That’s what my friend’s cousin had said. That Luca was able to get away. To make a life for himself.”
Luigi looks painfully to Antonia. My heart thuds in my chest. Was I not worth it? Was vengeance more important to him?
“He knew how important your career was. How many people you help every day. He told me often how smart and talented you were.” Antonia beams. “He couldn’t believe he’d married someone as incredible as you.”
“Your home, your friends, your parents. It’s a lot for anyone to give up for love,” Luigi adds. “But he said you’d spent your whole life studying to be the accomplished surgeon you are. He’d never have asked you to walk away from everything for him.”
Antonia grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “And he knew, if he’d told you the truth, you would’ve done just that.”
“So, now you understand why he’s in rehab.”
I glance over to Luigi, unsure I completely understand what he’s trying to say.
“Knowing the woman you love would walk away from everything for you is a heavy burden for any man to carry.” He rubs his stubbled jaw. “It’d be enough to cause even a sober man to turn to the bottle.”