Guilt, My Old Friend #2
“You’re not a girl,” Sloan said softly, his feet moving out of view as I hung my head and tried to get my bearings. “You’re a Hunter.”
Rolling away just in time, I avoided another downward swing of the other Hunter’s stick and twisted around to kick out his knee.
I heard the harsh crack before Sloan collapsed to the floor.
It was the first time I’d hit him in nearly thirty minutes, but it was enough to get Sloan onto his back.
Without a second’s pause, I was already knelt over him, my black dagger laid across his throat, just under his jaw, with his blazing ice-blue eyes beaming up at me.
“Good,” he whispered, the pain noticeable in his voice.
I hesitated and touched the leg I struck. “You’re hurt.”
“Not anymore,” he retorted, moving his leg a little to prove it. “You need to get rid of that.”
“Rid of what?”
“Your empathy in a fight,” he clarified, eyes narrowing. “Anyone could be your enemy, V. Anyone.” Sloan reached out and gently took hold of my hip, causing me to gasp sharply. “The only person you can ever trust is yourself. No one is worth dying for.”
I glared at him, not eager for another lecture. “You sound like Phil.”
“He knows better than anyone what betrayal looks like, so that makes sense.” Sloan’s jaw clenched, and he moved his neck slightly before my blade could cut into his skin.
I pulled it away, and the other Hunter chuckled lightly.
His chest tautened underneath me, the definition visible after he’d removed his tactical vest. Closing his eyes for a second, the Brit sucked in a short breath.
When his expressive blue eyes opened again, they glittered like precious gems caught in sunlight.
Reaching up, the Hunter laid his palm warmly against my cheek and his other tightened around my hip, yanking me forward.
Pleasure washed through my thighs, alarming me the most. I wasn’t prepared for things to take a sexual turn, and I didn’t know how to deal.
Was I really a true-to-life nymphomaniac?
It felt wrong to feel anything remotely erotic with someone who wasn’t Phillip, and betrayal hit my stomach like a thousand pounds of rock.
It took a second to figure out what was happening and why.
Sloan’s suggestive grip on my hip and tensing muscles between my thighs were as sensual as it got. He could’ve forced me off of him or said something, anything, to encourage distance, but he didn’t. The incubus only stared up at me, perfectly aware of his effect on me.
What is happening right now?!
I wasn’t na?ve to male attention, but older dudes were a new thing to me. More than that, Sloan didn’t strike me as the hypersexual sort, and it didn’t occur to me we might run into this problem while training.
Fighting was a physical sport, and it was easy to sexualize it if done with the right person.
But I didn’t believe in a hundred years I’d find myself here, with Sloan, battling an urge I’d only suffered with two other men.
And definitely not after having a fight where the man in question was thrown out in a ditch effort to get a rise out of my partner.
What I’d said to Phillip that morning was a moment of weakness meant to punish him.
It wasn’t said because I actually believed Sloan and I could be a thing.
If anything, Sloan struck me as someone who never mixed business with pleasure.
He was the safe choice. Someone who didn’t cross boundaries or make things messy.
The type of guy who made good decisions and didn’t use his other parts as an excuse to act like a sex-starved douche-bag. Then again, I’d only just met the dude.
What if I made a bad judgment call? I’d been wrong before.
I thought Nigel was sweet and well-meaning, then he’d upended everything by lashing out and saying things that still hurt to think about.
I’d trusted the Organization, and it turned out to be the entire reason I didn’t have parents.
The Organization was also the reason I was some freak of nature and a joining of god-knows how many things.
I’d trusted my Grams. I was convinced she’d told me everything, and that I’d been prepared for anyone who came after me.
But now, it was clear she hadn’t said enough.
She’d chosen to keep things from me, and then she left.
So maybe Sloan was right; I could only trust myself these days.
I opened my mouth, but Sloan’s thumb swept across my cheek and pressed against my lips. “I see what Phillip meant when he said you were talented for how little you’ve trained. You’re already formidable, and we haven’t even gotten started.”
Phillip’s name in this situation was pure torture.
“But you—you said I wasn’t fast enough.”
Smirking, Sloan chuckled to himself. “Forgive me. I said those things so you would shed your misgivings and really come at me.”
“Wait…”
“I admire your compassionate heart, but it’ll get you killed if you’re not careful,” he whispered huskily, thumb absently tracing my lower lip. “It’s better to fight me like I’m your enemy.”
“So everything you said was meant to get a rise out of me? Are you fucking crazy?” Angry, I yanked my face out of his touch.
Sloan watched me quietly from his place on the floor. “It worked, and you got a hit on me. Once you stop looking at me like a friend and treat me as a foe, you’ll be unstoppable.”
“What if I’d actually killed you?”
His teeth gleamed as Sloan offered me his prettiest smile yet. “I doubt that seriously, love. You’re nowhere near my level.”
Damn sexy bastard.
“And I thought Phillip was cocky,” I grumbled, barely hiding a smile.
“He and I have reason to be, V. We’ve spent a long time fighting things you can’t even imagine and survived. If you bested me at your weakest, it’d be a miracle.”
“Hey. I’m not at my weakest,” I whined unattractively, throwing my head back in petulance. “Not my fault I didn’t know all the other stuff. Grams is ruthless. I mean, you’re pretty damn close, but Grams would never let me get a hit on her.”
“I didn’t let you,” Sloan rebutted, laughing. “I only ever fight with my all, so you got your hit fair and square.”
Beaming a smile, I looked down at him. “Guess it’s my win this round?”
His sultry look answered my excitement, and the earlier sexual tension was back. My eyes dropped to his mouth, absently wondering what they would feel like if I were to kiss him. But guilt was a raving bitch and seeped like poison into my thoughts.
It was ridiculous to feel like a cheating girlfriend when Phillip and I were supposed to be casual.
He’d made it perfectly clear that was all we’d ever be.
Still, that didn’t stop me from feeling terrible for entertaining fantasies of having the gentle Hunter underneath me, naked and swathed with sweat the way he was.
The Brit’s lips lifted mischievously before I was on my back, his hips intimately laid over mine with my dagger arm pinned to the floor. His long dagger was at my throat the way mine had been on his only seconds ago. “Win? Not even close.”
I sucked in a breath before Sloan’s blue eyes flicked up to the door and his dagger retreated. Abruptly, I was on my feet with Sloan’s help, still a bit out of it.
Phillip regarded the two of us with an expression I couldn’t read. “Looks like you two are having fun in here. Is it my turn yet?”
Sloan touched my lower back, smiling. “I think it’s probably a good idea to give her some time to rest. I was a bit hard on her.” His eyes locked with Phillip’s before Sloan led me out of the training room.
Phillip followed me with his eyes but didn’t trail us, and the shame and guilt wreaked havoc on my stomach the entire walk upstairs to the kitchen.