Chapter 29
Guinevere
When day limps over the treetops, I pull my stiff body from évandre’s stone embrace and stand. Then I climb down the walls and make my way into the courtyard.
Alaric sits, bound to the stake once more, his chin to his chest, eyes shut. I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling. I know he doesn’t sleep any more than I do.
I cross the courtyard and kick him, and he lifts his head.
“And good morning to you, princess.”
“What will you do if I let you go?”
This also seems to take him by surprise. He tips his head and looks at me. “What would you have me do?”
“Kill Melantha.”
“Impossible, sadly. What else?”
I consider. If he can’t harm Melantha, he’s not much good as an ally when that’s my main goal. “Get me into Blackthorn unnoticed.”
“That I could do if you will listen to me.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course I would if you are actually helping.”
He says nothing, but his level expression speaks of his cynicism.
I could keep him around longer. I could torment him more.
I thought that’s what I wanted, but I spent all night trying to shake the feeling that he’s getting under my skin.
I’ve already let him goad me into far too much.
If I keep him around much longer, who knows what else I’ll allow?
And I don’t want to show him any kind of weakness he could exploit.
Not because I truly think he means to kill me. After last night I’m dangerously close to believing he might actually want to help me. Or that we want the same thing at least.
But the last thing I want to do is forgive him. To like him.
“Look, I just need you to stay out of the way and let me kill her. Perhaps I would be better to leave you here while I do that alone.”
I expect him to protest, but instead there’s a pause. “While she has my phylactery, I am a liability, it is true. But I am not the only risk. She is a sorceress in her own right. It will not be as simple as sneaking into her room and smothering her with her feather pillow.”
“So what do you propose?”
“Help me get my heart back, and then I will be able to help you kill her.”
“How do I know you will help at all if you get it back?”
He looks at me. “If you hold it, I will not have a choice.”
“And you are going to help me gain that sort of power over you?”
“Who is to say you do not already?” he says levelly.
“Do not be ridiculous!” Flustered, I turn away for a moment to gather my wits.
Corvin begged me to consider simply burying him somewhere, immobilizing him so permanently he may as well be dead.
But this risk is the best chance I have to destroy him and Melantha completely, and I can’t turn that down.
I pace the courtyard but that does nothing to calm my thoughts, so I sit. I sit for such a long time that the sky grows dark and all I can think about are the words évandre spoke to me last night. That keeping Alaric here like this is doing me no good.
Finally I sigh. “Very well.”
His brows lift.
I draw my knife from my belt and move behind Alaric, slipping the blade between his wrists and the rope évandre tied him with.
Once he’s released, he stands, pulling his hands up quickly, and I step back, putting the knife between us, ready to fight him if I need to. Alaric only massages his wrists and shakes out his hands, which must be stiff after days of being forced into the same position.
We watch each other for a long moment. I know the gargoyles are close by. I told them what I was considering, but I must admit the decision to free him again tonight was spur of the moment. As I think this, Raban and Corvin alight next to me.
“Be careful, princess.”
Alaric still hasn’t moved beyond shaking out his arms.
I sheathe my knife. “He is not going to do anything.” I’m not certain if I truly believe that, but saying it out loud feels better than wondering.
The hounds come tearing into the courtyard, barking and nipping at Alaric’s heels. I quiet them with a hushing sound, and they trot over to sit at my feet. “So what now?”
“I must return to Blackthorn eventually. If I am gone too long, she will question where I have been and I will be forced to tell her.”
I nod. This makes sense. “Then I will go with you. And we will search for your heart.”
“It will be hidden somewhere close to her. She would never leave it out of reach for long. She does not trust me enough.”
“You have never seen where she keeps it?”
He shakes his head. “It would be a mistake for her to let me.”
Corvin leans close. “Are you sure you can trust him, traveling alone together?” He ruffles his wing feathers, clearly unhappy about the idea.
Lifting a hand, I place it on his cheek and he calms. “No. But I think the risk is worth it.”
Behind Corvin, évandre gives me a little smile and a nod.
Corvin says nothing, but I feel the tension in his jaw.
“I wish we could come with you,” says Raban.
“I wish you could too,” I tell him.
évandre steps closer to Alaric, hand on the hilt of his sword. “If you harm our princess there is no magic in this or all the twelve kingdoms that will stop us from finding you.”
Alaric’s brows lift. I expect him to sneer at évandre, but instead he inclines his head. “You have my word, so far as it is in my power. If the queen orders me to harm her, I will not have a choice, but hopefully it will not come to that.”
“Some ally,” Corvin scoffs.
Alaric turns to me. “Right now Melantha thinks you are dead. It would be best to keep it that way, which means you cannot be seen anywhere near Thornvale where you may be recognized. You must stay hidden.”
“Fine.”
He gives me a skeptical look. “You will have some learning to do on the way.”
I plant my hands on my hips. “Perhaps you have already forgotten who ambushed you in the woods and kept you here as my prisoner for days.”
“Perhaps you would like to be chewed up and spat back out by dire wolves again, my lady.”
I let out an angry huff. “Not going to happen. And how do you know about that anyway?”
“You left quite a trail. How do you suppose I found you?”
That takes me aback. Maybe I do have a thing or two to learn from him after all. Not that I’ll admit as much to him. “When do we start?”
“The sooner the better.”
I’m struck suddenly with the realization that I’m truly leaving my sweet gargoyles, and there’s a good chance I won’t return. Throat tight, I stiffen my spine. “Give me a moment, then. I will get my things.”
Alaric stretches his shoulders and twists his neck from side to side. “Fine. Do not take too long. Bring a weapon.”
I’m about to retort that he does not need to explain everything to me like I’m four summers old again, but he’s already stalked away toward the gates.
I turn back to my gargoyles, unexpectedly teary. Bending, I caress the hounds, stroking behind their ears in the way they like while I struggle to regain control of my emotions. When I stand I have almost managed it.
“Be careful, princess.” évandre hands me my sword. “We will look for your return.”
I close my hands over his for a long moment, unwilling to let go.
I hope I am able to return. “Thank you for all your help. There is no way I could have gotten to this point without you all. And you especially.” I think of the hours of training and long nights of lifting weighted bags and swinging my sword at straw men.
Then I have to look away, only to encounter Corvin’s serious expression.
“Do not turn your back on him,” he says.
“You are too precious to lose.” He straps a scabbard to my back—the sword is too long for me to wear on my hip.
I lift up on my toes to throw my arms around his neck for a fierce embrace.
“Thank you.” I kiss his cheek as I pull away and catch his grin.
Then I turn to Raban who has waited patiently; the last of all, and hardest of all the goodbyes I have to make. My throat is too tight and achy for a moment, and I simply press my lips together. How I’ll miss him and his tender touches and eager smiles.
“I have something for you.” He holds out his hand, unfolding it to reveal a small package wrapped in cloth.
I take it and unwrap a small smooth stone, worked into the shape of a heart. It has a hole at the top where a piece of leather is threaded through like a necklace. “What is this?”
“I made it for you,” he says shyly. “From my stone. So you can know that you carry my heart with you always.”
My eyes widen, and I slip the leather over my head, pressing the stone heart to my chest. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
“It should be a precious jewel for our princess, but that would not have meant as much. So I hope you’ll accept this humble gift.”
I cup his face with my hands and look into his eyes. “It is more precious than any jewel. You all are. I wish I had something to give you in return.”
“Believe me, princess, you’ve given us more than you know. You woke us up and gave us life again.”
I throw my arms around his neck and hold him for a long time, thinking of their frozen companion. I hate to think of my sweet gargoyles ending up like that.
When he finally sets me on my feet again, my cheeks are wet with tears. “I might not have a heart to give to you any longer, but you are my soul. And I will miss you bitterly.”
We all embrace one more time. When I finally drag myself away, the tiny weight of the stone rests beneath my chemise and against my chest, and I cling to the reminder of my beautiful gargoyles.
Alaric is sour faced and sullen. “Are you sure you would not like to leave them a nursemaid while you’re gone? Someone to tuck them into bed.”
“If you are volunteering for the role, I am certain we could find you a pretty dress,” I snap.
Honestly, there is no need for him to make me feel worse. What would he know about tender feelings? All he knows is lust. What kind of man would give up his soul to possess a beautiful woman without any understanding of how rotten her heart is?
I conveniently forget that Melantha seduced my own sweet father in the same way she clearly did to Alaric.
We walk in stiff silence through the woods until the dark of the forest closes us in and blocks out the view of the castle walls when I turn back.
Eventually Alaric sighs. “It has been a long time since anyone cried so sweetly over me.”
I stare at him, stunned. As an apology it stinks, but I think perhaps it was more than that. He says no more, and I’m too unsettled by his admission to press him further.
Instead I try to match the way he moves effortlessly through the woods, hardly making any sound at all. Is there something human left inside him after all?
It is hard to believe, but if so, then perhaps there is hope for me yet. Perhaps I will not be transformed completely into a monster.