Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Willow
The stack of newspapers on the dining room table all feature articles about the potential fall of Sebastian's company. I've read every single one of them multiple times. They’ve all been pretty in-depth about the future leadership of the company and that there might be a vote of confidence for the CEO role in the next few weeks. Sebastian may be dethroned, even though it’s his company.
I should feel happy that he may lose everything after what he’s done for me, but instead I feel sorry for him.
I've been stuck here in the apartment with Janice for the past week. Haven’t seen nor heard from Sebastian in nine days. Not that I want to speak to him anyway. That jerk face is dead to me.
Janice said he's been sleeping at his office, putting out fires and trying to save his company. Apparently, a huge merger with a European company is now at risk because word got out that Sergio sold a bunch of his shares and gave up his seat on the board. The stock market and speculators now assume it’s because he knew that something was wrong and the company was going down.
But based on what I could figure out, Sergio had other reasons for using the money.
I assumed this was one of the reasons Sebastian was mad at me, but I knew it had nothing to do with me. There is no way my unsubstantiated relationship with Clark Kent caused this. There has to be something else going on—another reason he sold his shares in the company.
He spent his money himself, but I have no idea how to find out.
The fact of the matter is I don’t even have enough money to hire a private investigator to find out for me.
I’m going nowhere fast with two hundred and nine dollars.
Anyone I would ask to take on the job would laugh in my face if I said I’d pay them in ten dollar installments every month.
Sebastian’s company appears to be a sinking ship, and I also feel as like I’m sinking as well. I don’t even know how to react. I feel like I’m in some middle place between heaven and hell, kinda like when my parents died. My emotions feel frozen and too painful to acknowledge.
I feel horrible for Sebastian. I’m disgusted that something like this could happen, but I also by what he’s done to me. He trapped me. He didn’t listen to me. He certainly doesn’t care to hear my truth.
I get up from the dining room table, head to the living room, and turn on the TV.
The nice thing about being here without him is that I can actually enjoy the entirety of the apartment without having to worry he’ll try to talk to me or annoy me.
I don’t have to worry about him looking at me nor trying to flirt, either.
I turn on Netflix and flip it to a show called The Circle.
I’m not really a huge fan of reality TV, but right now, I don’t want to watch anything romantic or anything sad.
My life is shitty enough without having to see other people be happier—or worse off—than me.
My heart stutters in my chest when I hear the front door opening.
I jump up and attempt to run to my room, but I’m not fast enough.
“Hi,” Sebastian says. He looks rough. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is messy, his shirt unkempt. I don’t want to say hello, but I can’t stop myself from responding.
“You look like something the cat dragged in,” I say, and he laughs bitterly.
“It’s been a rough week.”
“It’s been nine days…”
“You’ve been keeping track?” he asks with a slight curl of his lips. Shit, I don’t want him to know that I’ve most definitely been counting the days.
“No,” I stammer out.
“I’m trying to save my business from ruin and disaster.”
“And how’s that going?” I ask, because I do want to know.
“I think it’s going to be okay.” He takes a seat on the couch. “It’s been rough.” His thigh rubs against mine accidentally and I breathe in his expensive cologne. I hate how much I’m still drawn to him.
“I’m sorry for what’s happened,” I say. “It had nothing to do with me, but I’m still sorry.”
He nods slowly but doesn’t say anything, which surprises me. He’s not as accusatory as he normally is.
“Can I go home?” I decide to see if maybe he’s low enough to just let me go.
His eyes bore into me, guarded and intense. And maybe a bit hungrily, too. I try not to shiver at that thought. He doesn’t respond, so I go and sit next to him on the couch.
“Why am I here, Sebastian?”
He runs his fingers through his hair and undoes another shirt button. I watch as he pulls off his tie.
“What do you want from me?” I say again. I can hear the whine in my voice—loud and sad.
“I don’t know,” he says, taking a deep breath. He unbuttons his shirt fully and pulls it off. I stare at his golden chest and swallow hard. I’m still attracted to him.
“I can’t stay here. I have things to do. I have a business to run. I have to make money.”
“I’m taking care of you.”
I blink at him, astonished at his simple response. “Sebastian, this isn’t helping either of us.”
His gaze lazily drinks me in, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Sitting beside him was a bad idea.
“Willow, you do realize that we haven’t even been married for—”
“What’s the point of us getting married? I don’t understand the contract, and you haven’t discussed it with me. You haven’t told me the things I’m meant to do this year. What is going on? I need to figure it out.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. His eyes are wild as he devours me with them. I tremble when he grabs my face and runs his fingers through my hair. He’s beautiful. Handsome. Enigmatic.
His voice is ragged as he breathes. When he goes to kiss me, I recoil. A deep, frustrated sigh rushes past his lips. He sits back on the couch, his eyes searching mine.
“Let’s go to dinner tomorrow night. We can talk then.”
“I don’t want to go to dinner with you,” I say, scooting away from him. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
“We’re married,” he reminds me as if that answers everything. “And this is something you’re going to have to do to fulfill the contract. We’re going to dinner with my friends.”
“What if I don’t want to?” I rise to my feet, panic rising inside me. “What will you do?”
Like a predator stalking his prey, he also stands, and prowls toward me. “Do you really want to see what I’ll do if you don’t go?”
“Is that a threat, Sebastian?” I demand, taking another step back. “What are you going to do?”
His grin is wolfish and filled with wicked promise. “We can wait till tomorrow night and see.”
Why does that both terrify and excite me? It’s like he can read my mind. I pray to God he can’t. I’d hate him to know that I still dream about him touching me.
“You know, I thought when I met you that you sucked because you were rude and mean, and then you thought I was going through your pocket—which I wasn’t. I thought you were a jackass. But then I saw you again, and you were so sweet and nice, and you apologized. I figured everyone has a bad day.”
He arches an eyebrow. “I have plenty of bad days.”
No kidding.
“I thought to myself, ‘He’s not a bad guy. He is a good guy. Handsome and tall and rich. He’s sweet, and he cares about me, and he sees me, and maybe he’s even a little woo-woo—believing in the stars and fate—like, wow, this is a man I really want to get to know better.
This is a man I feel a connection to, even though I know I shouldn’t. ’ But it was all wrong. I was wrong.”
He crosses his arms over his muscular chest, biceps bulging. It’s extremely distracting. “Why do you say that?”
“Why do you think I say that? Sebastian, you’re horrible.”
He presses his lips together. “It’s been a long week, Willow.”
I grab his tie from his hands and hurl it toward the ground in frustration. “You think it’s been a long week? It’s been an even longer fucking week for me. You’re holding me prisoner here!”
“You can leave anytime.” He shrugs nonchalantly and offers me a big fake smile. His eyes look distant and I swallow as he waves toward the door. “Why don’t you make your way out?”
“Really? I’ve tried—and the door’s been locked. Whenever I ask Janice for the key, she shrugs and says she doesn’t know how to unlock it.”
I guess we’re both his captives here.
“Do you want to leave?” he demands, jabbing a finger toward the door. “It’s not locked right now.”
The promise to leave is tempting, but what will it cost me?
“What will you do if I leave? Will you still try and go after Katherine or Brielle or their parents?”
“Honestly, I don’t know right now.” His voice cracks as he scrubs a palm over his face. “I don’t know anything except that I want to kiss you. I want to touch you. I want you in my bed. I want to fuck you.”
I stare at him, not saying a word. I will not show him my feelings. I will not let him see how badly I want to feel his lips on mine.
“And I know you want it too, Willow,” he continues, rare vulnerability in his expression. “I can see it in your eyes. You want me just as badly as I want you. My body burns for you, Willow. Is this what it’s like to be hit in the heart by a woman? Have you done something to make me fall for you?”
“Stop fucking blaming me,” I shout. “Why is it always the woman who’s at fault?”
“Because you’re under my skin.”
I just shake my head.
“Did you miss me while I was gone?”
I burst out laughing. “What do you think?”
“I thought about you every single day.”
“Okay… and what am I meant to do with that information?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“Is your friend Jack going to come back over anytime soon?” I ask him, wanting to annoy him and make him jealous. I’d seen how he’d gotten the other night. He hated that Jack could find me attractive. And I knew that he’d hate me pretending to want him.
“Why?”
“Because he was handsome.” I grin. “Very handsome. I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better.”
He glares at me, his voice growing angry. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that if he wants to flirt with me, I’ll flirt back.” I enjoy seeing him get angry. I enjoy making him mad. I’m not really interested in Jack, but if he wants to think I am, then I don’t care.
He steps forward and grabs my hand. “You want him?”
I stare at him for a couple of seconds before linking my fingers with his. I take another step forward. I lean up and kiss the side of his face and then his neck. I grab his face, run my fingers through his hair, and then down his chest. He’s breathing heavily.
“Now, Jack’s a very handsome man,” I say as I gaze up at him. I slide my fingers all the way down his stomach and into his pants. He stills. I undo the button and tug his zipper down. My hand slides into his boxers and I squeeze. His cock is hardening as I run my fingers up and down.
“What are you doing, Willow?” He licks his lips.
“What I wish I could be doing to Jack right now,” I say, breathing heavily as I look up at him. “I want to feel his cock. I want to see if it’s as big as I think.”
He growls as he takes hold of my hand and pulls it out of his pants. He grabs me up, drags me to the side, and pushes my ass against the wall.
“You think that’s funny, Willow?” he demands, nose brushing against mine. “You think I’m here to play games?”
“No. But I don’t really care what you think, Sebastian. And I don’t really care what you want.” I want you to be jealous. I want you to hurt.
“So you’re telling me you want my friend? You want my best friend, Jack? You would fuck him?”
“No,” I say, pushing him away. “I don’t want him yet. And frankly, Sebastian, I don’t want you either.” I glare at him and then push past him.
How’s that for confusing? Two of us can play that game.
After stalking to my bedroom, I slam the door.
I run over to the bed and lie down, breathing heavily.
My panties are wet. I feel disgusted with myself because I am turned on.
So very turned on. What a twisted situation I’m in.
The door opens and I see Sebastian standing there.
He heads over and looks down at me on the bed.
“I think you’re lying, by the way,” he says. He shakes his head and licks his lips.
“You think I’m lying about what?” I ask.
“About how much you want me. Because I know that I want you. And the way you just touched me, the way your heart was racing, I know you want me too.”
I close my eyes and turn onto my stomach so that I don’t have to look at him. He stands there, watching me for what must be ten minutes. Then, I hear footsteps toward the door and he closes it shut. I roll back over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. I cover my eyes with my hands.
I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what to do. Because he was right: a part of me wanted to call him over to the bed. A part of me wanted to fuck him senseless. A part of me wanted to forget everything else, just so I could feel him inside of me.
That’s the weak part of me I hate. The weak part of me I want to kick into the trash and never see again.
Because even though I absolutely detest Sebastian Laurence, I still crave him. I’m still in love with him. Those feelings weren’t fake for me, and unfortunately, I’m unable to banish them quickly either.