Chapter 24 Behind the Smile
Behind the Smile
Theo
Darkness falls around me, and I feel his presence behind me in the bathroom. It’s dark outside, but I can still hear the distant chatter of the students out there.
“What do you want?” I ask, zipping up my pants and washing my hands. I look up to see his shadowy form in the mirror.
“She’s planning to travel tomorrow, and you have things you need to do for me before that. You do remember, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but you already know I’ll do what you ask, as long as you uphold your side of the deal.”
He chuckles darkly. “Do you dare to threaten me? Do you forget I am the one who brought your brother back from death’s door, which he would have been crossing that very moment if I hadn’t stepped in?”
Obviously, I fucking know.
“I’m not threatening you; I’m reminding you. I know you saved him, but I have given you many lives in return, too,” I reply coldly. Ares was dead that night when I reached him. I could see the last wisps of his soul leaving his body when I had asked for Hades to help him.
One could say I sold my soul… but my soul was already his from the moment he chose me as his favoured.
“Of course, that is your job. Don’t forget the power I have given you. You have eleven souls to harvest tonight, since who knows how long you won’t be around.”
“And who wants them?” I ask. Sometimes, I tell myself it’s better if I don’t know who I’m killing for. I’m just the messenger. I shouldn’t ask, but you know me, sometimes it’s hard not to say anything.
“Well, there’s a woman who’s been dead for 300 years, and she wants her bloodline finished since they treated her terribly before claiming her wealth.” He chuckles, a hint of dark amusement in his voice. “I hear the youngest just got married.”
“So, I kill the newlywed?”
“You kill him, his wife too – just in case she’s pregnant. And you kill the man’s mother. They are all that remain of the family.”
“Right,” I say.
This is one of the things Hades does: bartering with the dead in exchange for something.
Mainly for those who seek revenge beyond the grave.
I don’t know what she’s offering in return, and I don’t care either.
Maybe the woman has magic, or is she human?
Who knows, but there’s always something he’ll take in return. Nothing is free with him.
And I’m the one who carries out his will, because a god can’t walk the earth – not yet anyway.
That’s another thing. I get that people like my family don’t want that, but does it really matter if they fucking did? I mean, I’d rather just enjoy my life than have to prepare for a war where I’ll probably die young and not get to chill.
I lean against the sink as he tells me the other names of my victims for the night.
“Right, before dawn, they’ll all be at your door,” I say, bored, standing tall. I’m ready to leave the room when he calls me.
“And Theo.”
“What?” I don’t bother turning towards his shadow.
“There are favours I owe the gods that stand against your family, which will be called upon. Be warned that the day is approaching when you will have to make it clear that we favour no side.”
“I already know that,” I reply scornfully.
I do.
“Good, you know your path; let nothing become a distraction.”
I raise an eyebrow. Now what dumb shit is he fucking spouting? “What could fucking distract me? I know my goal, our goal. I know what I need to do.”
I look in his direction, feeling the weight of his power, but I hold my own, allowing my aura to swirl around me, my eyes turning milky white.
“We exist to cause discord.”
I look away, frowning. You fucking do.
“No kidding,” I reply sarcastically. “I want to get some sleep before I go on the hunt.” I shove my hands into my pockets.
“Of course… I am getting a little bored. I look forward to the day I get to see you use your full power and your weapon properly. You’re rather boring in most of your fights.”
That would mean answering a billion fucking questions.
“Well, I have a feeling that day isn’t far. I know what I will have to do once they know the full truth,” I answer.
His lips stretch into what would be a smile, but there’s nothing pleasant about it. “Of course.”
I reach for the handle when I look back at him. “What was the second deal you made with the witch?” He knows who I mean.
He cocks a brow. “Well… why not ask her?”
His words echo in the air before he disappears.
Yeah, why the fuck did I think he’d answer?
I step out of the bathroom and glance towards the room where most of my division are chatting, lounging around.
“Hey, Theo, want to watch a movie?” one of them asks.
“No thanks, you carry on, bro,” I answer lightly before entering the room I share with one of them.
I drop onto my bed and close my eyes. It’s going to be a long night…
I walk through the quiet house. I left this one for last because I knew what awaited me. The floorboard creaks under my weight, but no one would be able to hear. My fog surrounds us, seeping beneath every door, spreading silence to every corner of this house.
The smell of blood and death from the previous targets clings to me.
A reminder that can’t really be washed away.
You think with time, you’ll get used to it, and in a way, you do.
I remember my first few jobs; I vomited after, refused to do it again until Hades intervened, reminding me of the price to pay if I refused him.
So, I did what I had to, killing the innocent, the defenceless, those who had barely lived. Men, women, children…
But even if I say I get used to it, every single life I take breaks something in me that can’t be fixed, fracturing the armour that wraps around the real monster inside of me.
Every death is slowly bringing me closer to becoming that monster.
Once these emotions become numb, once there is nothing left to fight for, then I’ll become the harbinger of death that Hades truly wants me to be.
Two years of this, yet it feels like an eternity already.
But I’m selfish, too. I’m ok to do what I need to so I can protect those who I care for. Like I said, I’m not a selfless hero. I will choose the ones I love over the masses. Fuck the world, fuck being selfless.
I push open the door to the master bedroom, the smell of whiskey hitting my senses.
On the bed, I can see the outline of a woman’s body. There’s a man asleep in the armchair. Several bottles of alcohol litter the floor around the drunk man.
His story is simple enough. He cheated, she threatened to take everything that she had inherited from her family, but he was too greedy. He wanted to keep her wealth, and he wanted her gone. So, he murdered her in this very room.
Now his wife wanted vengeance. From beyond the grave, she spat her demand: his blood, the mistress’s blood… and the children, too. The last part reeks of Hades, twisting the knife, ensuring no one walks away with clean hands.
Even humans can be monsters. I might have been on her side if she hadn’t asked for the children as well. Or perhaps that was Hades’ touch, a cruel condition to seal the deal. He does love pushing people into corners until they break.
I step closer to the man, dragging my nail down his forehead. His body jolts, and he begins to choke, the sound sharp in the silence. Pathetic. Still, I can’t stop the bitterness and disgust curling in my chest. He’s the reason the rest of them will suffer.
The woman shifts on the bed as I move closer. Her eyes flutter open, confusion giving way to fear. I press my hand over her mouth before she can scream, my nail cutting down her forehead. My power seeps in, her body slackens, and her eyes roll shut.
I turn away before I can think too long on it and head down the hallway, where I can hear the two small heartbeats.
I open the door to the kids’ room. They’re curled together, a boy and a girl, too young to understand any of this. The girl sucks her thumb in sleep, her brother’s arm around her like a shield that won’t save them. My stomach knots, just for a second.
Once, this part used to fuck me up. The first time I was sent to take a child’s life, I was shaken up and was unable to stop my entire body from trembling, and I’d sit awake for nights afterwards.
Their faces replaying behind my eyes, the guilt lodged in my throat.
It was almost impossible to force my hand down on something so small, so trusting and damn innocent.
Now? Now I stand here, and I can still feel that old hesitation scratching at the edges, but it doesn’t own me anymore.
Time wears it down. You build walls without meaning to.
The first crack of innocence you destroy screams, the second whispers, the tenth barely stirs at all.
Repetition numbs what should never be numbed. That’s the price.
I’ve learned a trick, sadistic, I guess, and it’s a lie I have repeated countless times, morphing it to suit the child before me. It doesn’t make it right, it doesn’t take away that I kill children, but it makes their final moments peaceful.
I walk over to the bed and place my hands on their heads. White mist swirls around them, and I see their expressions soften, a small smile tugging at the end of the boy’s mouth.
In their dreams, they’re picturing that they’re flying, that a boy has visited them who will take them far away to a land where they’ll never grow up…
In its own sick way, it’s true, but I’m not a boy, just a killer, and they won’t grow up, but they will enter heaven. Unlike adults, children are not judged.
I slowly drag my nail down their foreheads, the girl’s eyes flutter open, and she looks at me with large doe eyes.
Bright blue, just like our own Phoenix, and it fucking throws me. Still, I mask those feelings and give her my trademark smile and wink at her, despite the crushing feeling inside.
“Sleep…” I say softly. Her eyes flutter shut, and she giggles softly before I see her soul leave her body.
I lower my head for a moment, taking a slow breath before I stand tall, turn and leave the room. I close the door behind me with a click that feels louder than thunder. My duty is done. The woman’s vengeance is fulfilled.
Smoke curls in the corridor, rising thick and familiar, pulling me back to the Academy. My room swallows me whole. I strip and step into the shower, the water running down my body, boiling hot and unforgiving.
The fact is, I will always smell of death, because I am fucking death.
I’m never the same man upon return that I was before I crossed the threshold – because every death changes me.
I lose a bit more of my sanity, lose grasp on how it feels to care, to feel.
I scrub and scrub, but the scent still clings. The silence clings. The memory clings.
Knowing I can’t remove it.
And still, I try.