Chapter 41
Forty-One
Ella
I stared, my jaw dropping slightly, words fleeing me. That was not at all the answer or attitude I was prepared to hear.
“Of course I don’t want to hear it,” he said, his face softening.
He reached out, taking my hand in his. The size difference between us was evident everywhere as I was all but swallowed up in his grip.
“You’re going to tell me about something horrible from your past. If I have to hear it, Ella, my mate, it means it happened to you.
I want there to be no story. I don’t want to hear it, because I don’t want you to have to tell it.
” He lifted my hand, kissing the back of it.
“But I believe I need to. And I think you need it, too, which overrules whatever I want. Anytime. Every time. You always come first.”
I stared at him, waiting for the innuendo to his final comment to pop up.
It never did. He just stared openly at me, his eyes bright and blue as always and his expression serious. Waiting. Just like a mate.
My mate.
The call from my dragon in my head only emphasized that point.
“I do,” I said, not as nervous after his assurances. “It was before I met the girls. Decades ago. I was running with another group of Grounded, out in the Wilds. We were seeking freedom where we could, fleeing from the Hunters who wanted to lock us up and sell us. That part wasn’t any different.”
Dirk’s face was solid stone, an ugly azure glint in the depths of his eyes. I tried to interpret the look but couldn’t.
“It wasn’t much, what we had, but it was ours. As much freedom as a ‘Clippy’ could have in the Ice Kingdom.” I bit my lip. That was the easy part of the story. “Eventually Hunters found us. Some escaped.”
A rumble echoed in Dirk’s throat. “You didn’t.”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t.”
“The markets.”
“Not this time,” I said, earning a slight widening of his eyes.
“Where did they take you?”
“To the surface,” I whispered, shaking as I spoke about it at last. “Clippys are stronger than many humans, but several large, physically fit males can overpower me still.”
Dirk was on his feet, his eyes flashing from blue to silver and back. “They sold you to humans?” he howled in pure rage, the temperature in the room plunging.
“One of them did. Not the rest. I don’t know why it was just me.”
Dirk’s shoulders were heaving as he forced himself to breathe, his fists clenched until his forearms looked ready to burst. “Not many hunters have contacts on the surface. Most despise humans too.”
I nodded, my fingernails digging into my palms. I did not want to relive the next part. But I had to. I had to tell Dirk.
He deserved to know before things went further.
“That’s not all,” he ground out. “Is it?”
Slowly, I turned my head from side to side.
“Before they took me there, they … they …” I couldn’t do it. The words wouldn’t come out, but tears did.
Dirk’s anger disappeared, and he was at my side, holding me close and kissing the top of my head. “I know what they do,” he rumbled with the dark promise of thunderclouds on the horizon. “You don’t have to say it.”
“Y-yes, I do,” I countered, surprising myself. “I have to say it out loud, Dirk. You have to know.”
“Know what? That they sterilized you? That they took from you what wasn’t theirs, so you wouldn’t bear any half-breed children? That your healing meant the scars would be gone before they sold you? I am aware that …”
“That I’m broken,” I whispered. “That I can’t give you babies.”
“Oh, Ella.” He picked me up and deposited me in his lap, holding me tightly. “You are not broken. Not in my eyes. Not to me. I’m just sorry I pushed you at all, that I didn’t give you time.”
“No, Dirk.” I hushed him repeatedly until he was quiet. “Don’t apologize. You’ve been everything. You’ve helped me heal and been patient. You’ve been exactly what I needed.”
“I would do whatever is necessary for you, my mate. I love you.”
The way his face exploded and then immediately closed off told me he hadn’t planned to say the words.
He loved me?
I stared back, unsure how to respond to that. Did I love him? I was falling for him, yes. Harder all the time. But love? I wasn’t sure I knew what love was. But I had to say something.
So like the big brave girl I am, I ignored it for now.
“I know you would,” I said instead, acknowledging the first half of his comment since he too seemed deeply uncomfortable about what he’d just said.
Perhaps he thought he was putting more on me than I could handle, given everything I’d just gone through. Deep inside me, though, a tiny thrill flickered and burned. It was buried under all the other emotions in the moment, but it existed, and I couldn’t put it out, even if I’d wanted to.
“May I ask something?” he rumbled after a few minutes of silence, his hand the only thing moving as it rubbed my back up and down in slow circles.
“Yes.”
“What happened to the humans? How did you get out?”
“They thought I was human. They didn’t take adequate precautions. I broke my hand, slipped free of the cuffs, and healed. Then I ripped the bedframe apart, until I had a sharp piece I could use to cut the restraints on my legs. Then, when they came for me, I did the same to their throats.”
Dirk’s eyes lit up once more. “Strong mate,” he rumbled with dark approval.
Despite the topic, I shivered pleasantly at the light in his eyes and the pride in his tone. I liked knowing he was proud of me.
We sat there staring at one another, his fingers stroking my leg and back.
“Once you’re mine, I will always know the moment anything is wrong. I will never let anyone take you away from me,” he promised, the possessiveness coming to the fore now as his fingers tightened ever so slightly around my upper leg.
His touch was awakening things, igniting a need inside me. The desire had been building for some time, and I now knew what I wanted more than anything else.
“Dirk?” I whispered, leaning into his chest and rubbing my breasts against him as I spoke into his ear, making a decision I’d been avoiding for too long.
“Yes?”
“I want to be yours. For good.”
A throaty growl vibrated into my skin. “You are mine.”
“Then claim me.” I bared my neck to my mate.