Chapter 2
KAT
It’s late when I finally make it back to the apartment. A few hours in the office going over mindless reports, the perfect way to shelve the shit show that became my life this afternoon.
Not that I blame Lottie. No, I blame her bitch of a mother, and my two-timing, back-stabbing ex, who appears to be her biological father.
I roll my neck, trying to ease the tension in my head and shoulders.
When that doesn’t work, I massage my temples.
Fuck!
It’s not like Zach and I are still together.
Only the two of us were together when he was sleeping with her.
I scrub a hand over my face, letting out a frustrated growl.
“We made love in your bed.”
Darra’s words echo through my mind.
I thump the back of the sofa, withdrawing my hand quickly as if stung.
Did they make love here, too?
Zach and I lived together for seven years. How many of those was he shagging her too? Here in our home?
My vision blurs, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I blink rapidly, fending off tears he does not deserve. A sharp pain lances through my palm. I look down to see crescent-shaped welts where my fingernails have broken the skin.
Fuck you, Zachary Greville!
I give myself a mental shake. This is not what I need right now. No distractions.
What I need is sleep.
Everything will be better in the morning.
I walk into our bedroom, my eyes instantly drawn to the bed.
My vision tunnels, an alien sound escapes me as I pick up the first pillow, throwing it across the room, then the second—
Destruction.
I grind my teeth, my muscles quivering, taking in what’s left of my bedroom. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, and a trickle of sweat runs down between my shoulder blades.
Blankets and pillows litter the floor, even the mattress is upturned, and the bedhead sits at an awkward angle. Nothing escaped my wrath. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to sleep on this bed again or even here in this room. Everything is tainted by them. My apartment, my sanctuary, is no more.
Bile burns the back of my throat, and the pounding in my head intensifies.
I drop to my knees as knots cramp in my stomach.
Why care? We’ve been over for three years.
But the whole twelve years we were together were based on a lie.
I crawl forward and grab my overnight bag, thankful I’d left it next to the wardrobe. Pulling myself up, I thrust my shoulders back before stuffing it with clothes and toiletries.
I pick up my phone. Twenty-four messages and six missed calls.
I scan them. They’re all from my siblings, wanting to know if I’m okay.
I listen to the voice messages, my heart aching. I’d disabled the ringer.
Elijah: “Kat, we just need to know you’re okay. Please, sis, I’m worried.”
Caleb: “Kat, we’re worried about you. Please call.”
Gabriel: “If you need anything, sis, we’re here for you.”
I freeze at the next one.
Zach: “Kat, we really need to talk. I’m sorry, I never wanted you to find out—”
I delete the message, letting out a deep, gratifying sigh, before blocking his number.
No, Zach, I’m sure you didn’t want me to find out, you two-timing bastard.
I inhale deeply before firing off a message on the family group chat.
ME:
Please don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I’m going to stay with Mum.
I groan at the three dots that appear and disappear rapidly. Finally, a single message comes through.
CALEB:
Drive safely. We’re here if you need us.
I send one more message before hoisting my bag onto my shoulder and turning my back on the chaos I’ve wrought.
ME:
I’m coming home.
MUM:
See you when you get here. Drive carefully.
It’s late by the time I arrive.
Mum doesn’t say a word, simply pulls me into her arms and gives me a fierce hug. I squeeze her back, absorbing her strength. I pull back, her eyes scan my face as she cups my cheeks in her hands.
My throat constricts, and I blink rapidly. She nods at the weak smile I offer her. Her message is loud and clear.
I’m here when you’re ready.
I shiver, and she pats my cheek before stepping to one side. I head straight to my childhood room and shut the door, sinking into the comfort of my bed. I run a hand down my face, surprised to find it damp.
I move to my ensuite bathroom, flipping on the shower. Steam fills the room. I strip off and step into the scalding water, scrubbing my skin until it’s pink and raw.
When I’m done, I wrap myself in a towel and make my way back into my room.
I stop. A whine followed by scratching. I get up and open the door. Mum’s puppy, Diana, darts in and jumps on the bed, curling herself into a ball.
I lie down next to her, my hand going to her short coat. I rub her silky ears, watching as she rolls onto her back, showing me her belly.
“You want to sleep with me?”
She nuzzles my hand, scratching at the duvet. I lift it slightly only to have her burrow under it before curling herself into a tight ball, her eyes closing.
Zach and I never slept together here. Mum always put us in one of the guest rooms when we came to stay. Unlike Caleb and April, or Gabriel and Leah. Even Elijah and Pen have shared Eli’s childhood bedroom.
Did she have an inkling? Knew I would need this space?
I climb in next to her, and Diana moves into my body, curling herself around me, the warmth of her tiny body the comfort I need.
I take several deep shuddering breaths before closing my eyes and forcing the memories of the day away.
The early morning sun lights my way. My feet pound against the ground as I weave my way through the trees.
I jump over fallen branches, careful to miss obscured roots.
The last thing I need is to trip and break something.
Running and running hard is my only escape from my thoughts, from the torment of the images plaguing last night’s dreams. For my brothers, it’s always been swimming, but for me, I need to run.
It was still dark outside when I woke up, with my tense body bathed in sweat, my heart pounding.
The need to get out, to feel the air on my face, and the ground beneath my feet was almost too much, so here I am.
In another month, this run will become treacherous as the fallen leaves will mask unseen dangers, but not today.
Today I’m granted the solitude of the woods, a release only the peace and tranquillity of being at one with nature can offer.
Sweat temporarily blinds me, and I stumble forward, my hand grazing one of the tree trunks as I work to catch myself. The bite of the wood, therapeutic against my negative thoughts. I rub my eyes to clear my vision and push off. On and on—just an intense burn in my chest and heavy, quivering limbs.
My muscles begin to spasm.
How long have I been out here?
I reach out and grip the trunk of an old oak tree. I drop my head forward through outstretched arms, my breath coming in loud, noisy pants. I suck in air and wait. Wait for the ringing in my ears to subside, for my racing heartbeat to slow.
When my breathing finally calms, I turn around and drop back against the strength of the trunk, sinking to the ground among the carpet of dry leaves. Tipping my head back, I close my eyes, the heaviness of my limbs immense.
Fuck!
I smack the ground next to me with the flat of my hand. The bite causes my fingers to sink into the dry vegetation. I run my hands through it, allowing its dry, brittle texture to ground me. I open my eyes and stare up into the canopy of branches and leaves.
Our old treehouse, little more than a shell now, rests in the branches. I’ve run to the far corner of the estate. This was my safe space growing up, somewhere my overactive imagination could run wild. A place I could escape and be whoever I dreamed of being. Not simply a Frazer.
I shrug off my backpack and pull out a bottle of water.
I take a long swig, allowing the liquid to quench my parched throat.
One shuddering breath follows another. I swallow hard, trying to get my breathing under control.
I twist to the side as a wave of nausea hits me.
I wretch, but there’s nothing left. I haven’t eaten since yesterday lunchtime.
I sit up, banging my head back against the tree, before closing my eyes and shutting out the world.
Fuck you, Zach, and fuck you, Darra!
I draw my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them before throwing back my head and screaming.
Like a madwoman, I let it all out in the sanctity of my safe place.
The birds in the trees take off, complaining at the noise, trying to escape the lunatic who’s invaded their space, the lunatic I’ve become.
When I’m finished, I suck in a breath, followed by another. I force myself to breathe in and out as I work to calm my racing thoughts. With each inhale, my strength returns.
I pull myself up, brushing off the leaves and dust. My now-cold muscles complain bitterly. As I stretch, I work on rebuilding my mental shields.
I growl at myself.
Kat Frazer, you appear to attract bastards like bees to a honey pot.
I can hear Mum now.
It’s not you, it’s them.
But I’m the common denominator.
And Zachery Greville was supposed to be my safe option!
Before I leave, I kick dry leaves over the evidence of my weakness before grabbing my backpack and heading home. It’s time to work on something I can control.
Jaxson
I stand silently in the trees, keeping my presence hidden. I know better than to approach, my being here would probably be seen as an act of war, but watching Kathryn Frazer’s icy cold exterior shatter has a bigger impact than even I could have anticipated.
To do nothing is hard, but I’ve done what was requested. I found her, and she is not physically harmed. Mentally, on the other hand…
I run a hand down my face. We may not see eye-to-eye on many things, haven’t for years, but I would never want any harm to befall her.
She’s my best friends’ sister. Has always been tenacious and tough, yet the woman in front of me is none of those things today.
It feels wrong to be standing here watching such a personal moment.
I turn away, offering her a semblance of privacy, only turning back when I hear her move. She stands, her shoulders back, her chin up, as if the past thirty minutes were a figment of my imagination.
I smile.
I wait and fire off a message as soon as Kat leaves.
ME:
She’s on her way back.
My phone vibrates with a thumbs-up emoji.
I turn around and head back to Caleb and April’s house on the neighbouring estate.
I did the right thing. Making my presence known would have exacerbated the process.
She clearly needed this time. My stomach flips, and I grimace.
I know something happened yesterday, but I don’t know the details.
But whatever it was, her siblings are worried about her.
And, Kat wanted to let it out in private, no witnesses.
I’m trespassing. But when I received the call this morning to keep an eye out, I couldn’t ignore it.
The last thing I expected was to find Kat screaming out her anguish in the middle of the woods.
I make my way back to Lofton House. It borders the Frazer estate and will soon become Caleb and April’s main residence. But for now, it’s my office as I focus on drawing up the plans for its renovation.