Chapter 7
KAT
Penelope Dawson is glowing as I walk across the restaurant towards her.
If her beaming smile is any indication of how well her relationship with my brother is going, it’s clearly having a positive effect on them both.
She gets up as I reach the table and pulls me in for a hug.
“How are you doing?” she says, stepping back, but holding onto my upper arms.
Her eyes scan my face, making me shift uncomfortably. Pen has always been able to read me.
“Oh, you know,” I say with a shrug.
A frown mars her brow, and I instantly regret my words.
Shit! What’s wrong with me?
I grab her hand in mine and squeeze. Our waitress hovers nearby, before jumping forward to pull out my seat. I plaster on my everything is fine mask as I sit down, waiting for my napkin to be settled across my lap.
I look up. “Thank you,” I say. “Can we have a moment?”
She nods and smiles in response. “Of course. I’ll be back to take your orders.”
My hands move to my cutlery, then drop back into my lap. My eyes meet Pen’s.
I’m usually positive, but the last couple of months, it’s become harder to maintain that persona. It’s like a weight is pressing down on me constantly. That and the fact that sleep has not been my friend for far too long.
“How are you?” I say, redirecting the conversation with a smile. “Is that brother of mine treating you well?”
Pen scowls slightly, but lets it slide. I’m not stupid enough to think she’ll drop it. This is but a momentary reprieve. My hands drift back to my knife and fork, straightening them. When I look up again, I’m fascinated by the pink flush that’s spreading over her cheeks.
I quirk a brow, and her hands go to cover them. I laugh.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you blush in all the years I’ve known you,” I rib her.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out, her hand slamming against her mouth, her eyes darting around the area in case anyone has overheard.
My jaw drops, but I close it quickly, my hand snaking across the table and grabbing hers.
“That’s wonderful news,” I say excitedly, before taking in her expression. “Isn’t it?”
Pen bites her lip, a habit of old, one she reverts to when she’s feeling less than confident.
“It’s just so soon. Elijah and I are only just finding our way back to one another.”
“Is that a problem?” I ask, wondering if I need to slap my elder brother upside the head for making my friend feel unsure.
Pen shakes her head. “Heavens, no. Elijah is thrilled. He wants us to elope and get married. And Lottie. She’s over the moon at the idea of being a big sister.”
I grip her hand tightly until her gaze meets mine.
“Pen, my brother loves you. He’s loved you for so long… even when he couldn’t be with you.”
I pick up my glass of water, taking a sip.
“That’s the problem. I don’t want us to get married because I’m pregnant. He’s already done that once.”
I choke.
What?
“Um, you and Elijah are nothing like the first time around,” I say.
“Believe me, there was never any love between Darra and my brother. Lust, yes, at least in the beginning. Convenience, in the middle, but by the end, it was pure necessity as far as he was concerned. But it definitely was not love.”
I should know.
Zach and I spent enough time around them in the early days of their marriage, and then Darra was always bringing Lottie around.
Now I know why.
A sudden tightness grips my chest, my body growing hot.
I choke down some more of my water as a distraction to my wayward thoughts.
Pen sighs. “I’ve told him he can propose after the baby is born, if that’s what he still wants.”
I place my glass down, pleased that my hand is steady.
“You think Elijah, of all people, is going to change his mind?”
Pen grins. “No, but it gives me some time to breathe.”
“Then the question really is, do you want to marry Elijah?”
My heart stalls as I ask the question. I think I know the answer, but with everything that’s going on, I’m struggling to trust my judgement.
Pen stares at me wide-eyed. “Really?” she says.
“I had to ask,” I reply, expelling the breath I’m holding.
She chuckles. “Don’t tell him, but I’d marry him in a heartbeat,” she says, the honesty of her words shining through.
“Then, I better keep my eyes open for the perfect wedding outfit,” I say with a wink. “When are you due?”
“June.”
I squeeze her hand again, only this time she flips it, grasping mine in hers.
I smile. “I couldn’t be happier for you both. You and Eli were made for each other. I’m glad fate has finally stepped in.”
Our waitress reappears, and we order our usual. When she leaves, Pen inclines her head.
“Enough deflecting. How are you?” she asks. “And I mean, really? Not the bullshit you’ve been feeding everyone else.”
I chuckle, although the sound is flat. Pen’s one of the few people who really understands me.
“So, so,” I tell her honestly.
She’s known me for too many years to accept any lies, and I know better than to feed her any.
She leans forward and waits patiently.
I screw up my face and earn myself a look.
“Fine,” I say. “Zach has written me a letter.” I sigh.
“Before you ask, I haven’t read it, and I’m not sure I’m going to.
Do I want to hear his feeble excuses? No.
” Pen remains silent, so I continue. “The hotel has recovered from the cyberattack, thanks to you,” I say, smiling.
“Now, I just want to string my younger brother up for sticking his nose into my business affairs.”
Pen doesn’t look surprised, so I’m taking it she’s heard of Caleb’s meddling.
We sit and stare at each other.
“What?” I ask.
“I asked how you were, and you told me about a letter, a recovered cyberattack and Caleb. What I want to know is how you’re doing?”
My vision blurs as pain engulfs my throat. I swallow against the growing pressure.
Shaking my head, Pen tilts hers, her eyebrows coming together. She opens her mouth, but closes it again, as if she decides better of whatever she was about to say.
How to articulate the monumental mist of anger, frustration, hurt and betrayal, to name but a few of the intense emotions, that are swamping my every waking moment.
“I’m here when you’re ready,” she says, and I nod my appreciation.
Pen understands my need to process. She locked herself away for weeks after she and Kris split up.
“If it helps, I had words with both Caleb and Eli when I heard what they’d done.”
“But—”
She smiles. “They aren’t wrong, you know. Jax is the best qualified for the job, even you have to admit that.”
I take my time resetting my napkin on my lap. When I look up, I rest my hands on the table.
“I can’t deny he has the perfect skill set. But Pen, working with him? We can barely stand to be in the same room together—” I growl, unable to find the words to describe how frustrated he makes me.
Pen remains silent.
“There’s a lot of animosity between us. It’s not something we can simply ignore.”
“You’re both professionals.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to stem the headache that’s been festering since Caleb dropped his latest bombshell.
“We are, and I know you’re right,” I sigh. “But I didn’t take kindly to being ambushed in my boardroom, especially by my own brother.”
“I can understand that.”
Silence descends between us.
“I need a break,” I say suddenly. “I’m thinking of visiting our new acquisition in the Maldives. There are a few issues that need ironing out. But then I might take a short break.”
Pen’s face lights up. “That’s a wonderful idea.”
Our waitress arrives with our food, so we pause until she’s gone.
“How long are you going for?”
“I thought five to seven days. There’s nothing urgent that can’t survive without me, apart from the new project.”
Jaxson wants to schedule a time to run through the brief, but I don’t have the energy or brainpower to meet with him right now.
Pen takes a mouthful of food, closing her eyes as she chews.
“Yum,” she says, swallowing before opening her eyes and catching mine in her gaze.
“Why do you dislike Jax so much?” she asks suddenly. “I saw your face at Eli’s.”
I look down at my plate, pushing the food around with my fork.
“Did you think Jax was Lottie’s dad?”
Her question comes out of the blue, leaving me reeling.
“I suspected he might be,” I admit honestly.
Pleased she made that connection and not another.
Pen squints at me, as if trying to read my mind.
“But it’s more than that,” she says slowly.
The look on Pen’s face lets me know she’s not going to let this drop. I inhale a shuddery breath.
Sixteen years I’ve held my secret, kept Jaxson Lockwood at arm’s length.
Pen continues to stare at me.
“You’re not going to drop it, are you?” I say, already knowing the answer.
“Not when I can see what all this is doing to you,” she says. “I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I did.”
I look down at the table and push my salad from side to side.
“Come on, Kat. This is me you’re talking to.
You’ve lost weight and are sitting here playing with your food.
Not to mention the dark circles under your eyes, which tells me you aren’t sleeping.
You’re my best friend, woman.” There’s pain in her voice.
“Let me be there for you, like you were for me.”
I run a hand down my face, my hand gripping my pendant.
“Jax and me—” as soon as the words leave my mouth, I realise I’ve given too much away.
“What do you mean, Jax and you? What am I missing, or more rightly, what did I miss?” Her eyes widen as her fingers spread out over her breastbone.
I squeeze my pendant, enjoying its bite against my skin. I chuckle.
“Hard to believe, huh? The stud and—”
She cuts me off with a grunt.
“Not hard to believe, no. Very bloody obvious, now I think back. I just can’t believe I missed it,” She does a double take, her eyes scanning my face.
“You two were thick as thieves one moment, and then…” A furrow appears between her brows.
“Did he hurt you? If he did—” By the time she has finished her monologue, she is practically growling.